Three Books for Free

As 2014 comes to a close, I want to share my three books with you that I published this year. Instead of retelling my story so much, it has been very helpful to point people to my books so they can understand me better. So I am offering all three books for free on Kindle, starting Saturday 12/27 and running through the end of the year. Here are some quotes that tell what each book is about. The title of each book below goes to the free Kindle link.

Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives

“I then embarked on an amazing journey of recovery from the controlling, guilt-ridden, shame-soaked life we had lived in UBF. I was done with the holy soldier façade. This journey was not so different from the journey of Pi in the movie “Life of Pi” or Truman in the movie “The Truman Show” or the blind girl in the M. Night Shyamalan movie “The Village”. In fact I began watching many movies, especially children’s movies, because I found so many connections with the characters in the movies, such as Tangled. I felt I was Repunzel being set free from her castle tower! Finally I was at peace.

It would take a whole other narrative to tell this journey. So I will just point out some highlights. The journey actually began when I watched Mel Gibson’s movie “The Passion” in 2010. Through this, the gospel of Jesus was re-ignited in my soul. I realized that I had believed and preached an upside down, flawed gospel in UBF. I officially resigned from UBF in protest on July 4th, 2011. I chose that day specifically. It was my independence day. I began blogging profusely about my journey, on priestlynation.com, declaring my freedom from UBF and exposing the problems I saw. I tried not to fall into the trap of treating UBF people poorly, but at times I just needed to vent. I had kept silent so many times, and so my critical voice exploded on my blogs.” pg. 83

Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives

“Recalling the multitude of UBF entanglements (and there are many hundreds more) has been a difficult task because I just want to forget it all. It is embarrassing to realize how much I put up with. But it is also good and liberating to realize how free I am now! No longer do I need to put up with any UBF entanglements or authority.

So what was good about all those years in UBF? My wife and I had to first come to terms with our arranged marriage. Was this good? Is our marriage valid? We both agreed—yes our marriage is before God and is good and valid. The goodness I see in my 24 years of UBFism is that I weaved a cocoon around my life. And that cocoon became the housing for my transformational new life. But what was this cocoon exactly?

As I wrote this chapter I discovered something unexpected. Why did I stay 24 years at UBF if the spiritual abuse was rampant? The best answer may be that I was seeking glory and fame. The cocoon I wove around myself (with the help of UBF shepherds weaving it for me at times) could be called a cocoon of self-glorification. I wanted to be famous. I wanted attention. I wanted to be noticed. I believed the promises that convinced me to join UBF in the first place: your name will be great! You will be a world-class leader! My vision is large and my appetite for self-glory is huge. Yes there was no perceived way out of UBF, but as my grandmother pointed out, I did not want a way out. I wanted glory.

Ironically, I would eventually meet the fate of all self-glory seekers: infamy. I am now the infamous detractor and vocal critic of UBF ministry. Realizing all these things has brought much goodness and peace to my mind. At least I am starting to understand what happened.” pg 73

Unexpected Christianity: The Penguin Narratives

“I return now to that coffee shop meeting in Ann Arbor, with my friend from Toledo UBF. He was one of the leaders there. I hadn’t seen him or other members of Toledo UBF for many years, since we had moved from Toledo to Detroit. My friend was normally the one who would lighten up any situation with his dry sense of humor or intriguing perspectives. But now, the frustration on my friend’s face was real. How could this be? What would cause my Christian friend to be so exasperated? The truth was that I felt just as exasperated. I was still struggling with the growing disconnect between my supposed biblical worldview and the reality happening around me. I was still pondering that Christmas letter from Sarah, wondering how I could display integrity. My friend and I shared our various struggles. We both were wavering about whether we would attend the upcoming UBF conference. My friend’s wife had already declared she would not attend, due to the issues she saw in the ministry.

This decision was problematic. No one in the UBF ministry decided not to attend a UBF conference. Attendance was not explicitly mandatory, but always the expectation was “You want to please Jesus, don’t you?” As if the guilt wasn’t motivation enough to enforce attendance, the consequences of deciding not to attend a conference were painfully inconvenient: you would be labeled as rebellious; you might be removed from some of your duties; you might be given more duties as training to obey; and you likely would be mentioned in the next Sunday message as an example of losing faith. I had seen it many times. The UBF community would turn against its own; shaming and shunning the one perceived to be weak in faith for not participating actively in the UBF mission. My friend now wondered what would happen to his family if he attended the conference and his wife did not. Our UBF worldview was cracking. In the end, we both decided the best course of action would be that we would attend the 2011 Easter conference, hosted by Toledo UBF, and face the consequences.

I went to this conference with a mission of my own. I wanted to find out why several friends at Toledo UBF, like my friend at the Ann Arbor coffee shop, had been reaching out to me and sharing their struggles with me. I began to wonder, is there no Christian pastor in Toledo UBF? Is there no one there who could be trusted to speak openly with? So I went to this UBF conference with my family. And I decided test the waters, to ask questions and find out what was going on.” pg. 18