It’s because our leaders are stupid. They never asked God for counsel, and so nothing worked right. The people are scattered all over.

God’s Message came to me: “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherd-leaders of Israel. Yes, prophesy! Tell those shepherds, ‘God, the Master, says: Doom to you shepherds of Israel, feeding your own mouths! Aren’t shepherds supposed to feed sheep? You drink the milk, you make clothes from the wool, you roast the lambs, but you don’t feed the sheep. You don’t build up the weak ones, don’t heal the sick, don’t doctor the injured, don’t go after the strays, don’t look for the lost. You bully and badger them. And now they’re scattered every which way because there was no shepherd—scattered and easy pickings for wolves and coyotes. Scattered—my sheep!—exposed and vulnerable across mountains and hills. My sheep scattered all over the world, and no one out looking for them!

Doom to the shepherd-leaders who butcher and scatter my sheep!” God’s Decree. “So here is what I, God, Israel’s God, say to the shepherd-leaders who misled my people: ‘You’ve scattered my sheep. You’ve driven them off. You haven’t kept your eye on them. Well, let me tell you, I’m keeping my eye on you, keeping track of your criminal behavior. I’ll take over and gather what’s left of my sheep, gather them in from all the lands where I’ve driven them. I’ll bring them back where they belong, and they’ll recover and flourish. I’ll set shepherd-leaders over them who will take good care of them. They won’t live in fear or panic anymore. All the lost sheep rounded up!’ God’s Decree.

Quit your worship charades. I can’t stand your trivial religious games: Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings— meetings, meetings, meetings—I can’t stand one more! Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them! You’ve worn me out!

I’m sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning. When you put on your next prayer-performance, I’ll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I’ll not be listening.

And do you know why? Because you’ve been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody. Go home and wash up. Clean up your act. Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings so I don’t have to look at them any longer.

Say no to wrong. Learn to do good. Work for justice. Help the down-and-out. Stand up for the homeless. Go to bat for the defenseless.

Well, think again, you idiots, fools—how long before you get smart? Do you think Ear-Maker doesn’t hear, Eye-Shaper doesn’t see? Do you think the trainer of nations doesn’t correct, the teacher of Adam doesn’t know? God knows, all right— knows your stupidity, sees your shallowness.

Watch out for the religion scholars. They love to walk around in academic gowns, preening in the radiance of public flattery, basking in prominent positions, sitting at the head table at every church function. And all the time they are exploiting the weak and helpless. The longer their prayers, the worse they get. But they’ll pay for it in the end.

Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air; common sense tells you it’s a stupid way to live.

I’m after love that lasts, not more religion. I want you to know God, not go to more prayer meetings.

And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.

I’ve had it with you! You’re hopeless, you religion scholars, you Pharisees! Frauds! Your lives are roadblocks to God’s kingdom. You refuse to enter, and won’t let anyone else in either.

You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You go halfway around the world to make a convert, but once you get him you make him into a replica of yourselves, double-damned.

You’re hopeless! What arrogant stupidity! You say, ‘If someone makes a promise with his fingers crossed, that’s nothing; but if he swears with his hand on the Bible, that’s serious.’ What ignorance! Does the leather on the Bible carry more weight than the skin on your hands? And what about this piece of trivia: ‘If you shake hands on a promise, that’s nothing; but if you raise your hand that God is your witness, that’s serious’? What ridiculous hairsplitting! What difference does it make whether you shake hands or raise hands? A promise is a promise. What difference does it make if you make your promise inside or outside a house of worship? A promise is a promise. God is present, watching and holding you to account regardless.

You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You keep meticulous account books, tithing on every nickel and dime you get, but on the meat of God’s Law, things like fairness and compassion and commitment—the absolute basics!—you carelessly take it or leave it. Careful bookkeeping is commendable, but the basics are required. Do you have any idea how silly you look, writing a life story that’s wrong from start to finish, nitpicking over commas and semicolons?

You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You burnish the surface of your cups and bowls so they sparkle in the sun, while the insides are maggoty with your greed and gluttony. Stupid Pharisee! Scour the insides, and then the gleaming surface will mean something.

You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. People look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds.

You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You build granite tombs for your prophets and marble monuments for your saints. And you say that if you had lived in the days of your ancestors, no blood would have been on your hands. You protest too much! You’re cut from the same cloth as those murderers, and daily add to the death count.

Snakes! Reptilian sneaks! Do you think you can worm your way out of this? Never have to pay the piper? It’s on account of people like you that I send prophets and wise guides and scholars generation after generation—and generation after generation you treat them like dirt, greeting them with lynch mobs, hounding them with abuse.

You can’t squirm out of this: Every drop of righteous blood ever spilled on this earth, beginning with the blood of that good man Abel right down to the blood of Zechariah, Barachiah’s son, whom you murdered at his prayers, is on your head. All this, I’m telling you, is coming down on you, on your generation.

Jerusalem! Jerusalem! Murderer of prophets! Killer of the ones who brought you God’s news! How often I’ve ached to embrace your children, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you wouldn’t let me. And now you’re so desolate, nothing but a ghost town. What is there left to say? Only this: I’m out of here soon. The next time you see me you’ll say, ‘Oh, God has blessed him! He’s come, bringing God’s rule!’

Ok I feel better now.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=jeremiah%2010:21&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel%2034:2%20&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?earch=Jeremiah%2023:1%20&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%201:13-14&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+94:8&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%2012:38-40&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+11:29&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hosea+6:4&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%205:33-37&version=MSG

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%2023&version=MSG

So they are stuck with two identities. This recent report explains what I’m talking about:

Our church will be known by two names here: Austin UBF and Dwell church. We liked the name dwell because it captures that which captivated us about church planting — that we together get the high privilege of being God’s dwelling place (Eph 2:22). (source)

How long can they maintain this dualism? When will they surrender fully to the grace of God? How can they hold onto the failed ubf heritage? How much longer will they keep face, sustain the tension of multiple identities pulling in near opposite directions and ignore this serious hindrance to encountering God in a deep, joyful and effervescent way?

When will their conscience allow them to find their one true identity in our Lord Jesus and express their own life narrative?

When will they realize that our Lord is One, and that they are no worse off if they don’t submit to the ubf heritage? Will their eyes open and realize that enabling the spiritual order demanded by ubf is like putting a stumbling block in the path of anyone who may believe the gospel through them? Is not this dual identity like attempting to offer food to both idols and to God?

8 Now concerning[a] food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. 2 If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. 3 But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.[b]

4 Therefore, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that “an idol has no real existence,” and that “there is no God but one.” 5 For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”— 6 yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.

7 However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. 8 Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. 9 But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating[c] in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged,[d] if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? 11 And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. 12 Thus, sinning against your brothers[e] and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

1 Corinthians 8:1-13

One of my all-time favorite movies is The Truman Show. It tells the story rather well of how I lived in UBF, and how I escaped. Truman’s reality check with his father is especially meaningful to me.

How did I escape the bonds of UBF shepherding? I pushed the limits. Just as Truman rode his boat to the end of the massive movie set, through the director’s storm, I pushed UBF to its ideology limits. I defended UBF vehemently. I climbed the UBF ladder to its top, jumping through every hoop the ideology presented, becoming a Director myself. At the top of the UBF ideology I found there was nothing left. The UBF heritage had no plan for my continuing life as a disciple of Jesus.

At that point, like Truman, I simply said, “Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!” and walked off the set of “The KOPHN Show”.

Proverbs 6:5 Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.

The Bible teachers demanded “Give glory to God.” The man replied by telling his story of encountering Jesus.

John 9:1-41, The Message

9 ^1-2 Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?”

^3-5 Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines. When night falls, the workday is over. For as long as I am in the world, there is plenty of light. I am the world’s Light.”

^6-7 He said this and then spit in the dust, made a clay paste with the saliva, rubbed the paste on the blind man’s eyes, and said, “Go, wash at the Pool of Siloam” (Siloam means “Sent”). The man went and washed—and saw.

⁸ Soon the town was buzzing. His relatives and those who year after year had seen him as a blind man begging were saying, “Why, isn’t this the man we knew, who sat here and begged?”

⁹ Others said, “It’s him all right!”

But others objected, “It’s not the same man at all. It just looks like him.”

He said, “It’s me, the very one.”

¹⁰ They said, “How did your eyes get opened?”

¹¹ “A man named Jesus made a paste and rubbed it on my eyes and told me, ‘Go to Siloam and wash.’ I did what he said. When I washed, I saw.”

¹² “So where is he?”

“I don’t know.”

^13-15 They marched the man to the Pharisees. This day when Jesus made the paste and healed his blindness was the Sabbath. The Pharisees grilled him again on how he had come to see. He said, “He put a clay paste on my eyes, and I washed, and now I see.”

¹⁶ Some of the Pharisees said, “Obviously, this man can’t be from God. He doesn’t keep the Sabbath.”

Others countered, “How can a bad man do miraculous, God-revealing things like this?” There was a split in their ranks.

¹⁷ They came back at the blind man, “You’re the expert. He opened your eyes. What do you say about him?”

He said, “He is a prophet.”

^18-19 The Jews didn’t believe it, didn’t believe the man was blind to begin with. So they called the parents of the man now bright-eyed with sight. They asked them, “Is this your son, the one you say was born blind? So how is it that he now sees?”

^20-23 His parents said, “We know he is our son, and we know he was born blind. But we don’t know how he came to see—haven’t a clue about who opened his eyes. Why don’t you ask him? He’s a grown man and can speak for himself.” (His parents were talking like this because they were intimidated by the Jewish leaders, who had already decided that anyone who took a stand that this was the Messiah would be kicked out of the meeting place. That’s why his parents said, “Ask him. He’s a grown man.”)

²⁴ They called the man back a second time—the man who had been blind—and told him, “Give credit to God. We know this man is an impostor.”

²⁵ He replied, “I know nothing about that one way or the other. But I know one thing for sure: I was blind . . . I now see.”

²⁶ They said, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?”

²⁷ “I’ve told you over and over and you haven’t listened. Why do you want to hear it again? Are you so eager to become his disciples?”

^28-29 With that they jumped all over him. “You might be a disciple of that man, but we’re disciples of Moses. We know for sure that God spoke to Moses, but we have no idea where this man even comes from.”

^30-33 The man replied, “This is amazing! You claim to know nothing about him, but the fact is, he opened my eyes! It’s well known that God isn’t at the beck and call of sinners, but listens carefully to anyone who lives in reverence and does his will. That someone opened the eyes of a man born blind has never been heard of—ever. If this man didn’t come from God, he wouldn’t be able to do anything.”

³⁴ They said, “You’re nothing but dirt! How dare you take that tone with us!” Then they threw him out in the street.

³⁵ Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and went and found him. He asked him, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”

³⁶ The man said, “Point him out to me, sir, so that I can believe in him.”

³⁷ Jesus said, “You’re looking right at him. Don’t you recognize my voice?”

³⁸ “Master, I believe,” the man said, and worshiped him.

³⁹ Jesus then said, “I came into the world to bring everything into the clear light of day, making all the distinctions clear, so that those who have never seen will see, and those who have made a great pretense of seeing will be exposed as blind.”

⁴⁰ Some Pharisees overheard him and said, “Does that mean you’re calling us blind?”

⁴¹ Jesus said, “If you were really blind, you would be blameless, but since you claim to see everything so well, you’re accountable for every fault and failure.”

If you are in UBF, please compare your director/shepherd to information in the videos below. I’ve noticed that I have to rid myself of the narcissism I was trained to have.

Routines:

Body language:

Good advice:

Views on children:

Giving them a second chance:

1. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
2. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
3. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
4. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
5. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
6. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
7. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
8. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
9. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
10. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
11. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
12. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
13. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
14. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
15. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
16. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
17. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
18. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
19. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.
20. My family and I are no longer controlled by ubf authority.

(source: Eric Ludy Sermon: “A Cult-Leader’s Worst Nightmare”)

1. The Need to Belong.

The dire hunger for community and belonging, causes them to overlook strange characteristics of a group or leader.

2. Disgust with their own Personal Weakness.

The lack of discipline and moral muscle leads to a desire to want to follow someone who is strong, rather than being strong themselves.

3. Eager to Prove Righteous.

Due to a subtle twist in their understanding of righteousness, they try and achieve righteousness in their own strength. Their dedication and loyalty unto a church or ministry (though that church or ministry be a bit bizarre) is their means of being right in God’s eyes.

4. Momentum.

A good Christian fellowship may be influenced by one manipulative leader who carries the momentum forward, not depending on Jesus but on him or her. As time passes, a person gets caught in the network of the group. It becomes too difficult or problematic to leave due to finances, marriage or other personal entrapments.

(source: Eric Ludy Sermon: “A Cult-Leader’s Worst Nightmare”)

Some who are steeped in the UBF heritage are not able to even have an honest discussion. They just remain silent, proudly holding onto a false sense of self-righteousness, even after four reform movements spanning 50 years and even after a mass exodus of members.

The quotes are from Frederick Douglass, an American abolitionist, editor, orator, author, statesman and reformer; and a man who was born as a slave.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.

This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle.

Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what a people will submit to, and you have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them; and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both.

The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress. Men may not get all they pay for in this world; but they must pay for all they get. If we ever get free from all the oppressions and wrongs heaped upon us, we must pay for their removal. We must do this by labor, by suffering, by sacrifice, and, if needs be, by our lives, and the lives of others.”

(source: West India Emancipation on 8/4/1857)

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and incur my own abhorrence.”

So I’ll make it clear: You can’t tell me what to do. Contrary to what you teach, I am my own man.

At times like these I like to listen to Bon Jovi.

And also found some new music:

At minimum, the following reasons are reasons why I won’t condemn homosexuals. Mainly, though, these are the reasons I support same-sex marriage, both as a legal right and as participating in the sacrament.

#1 – Legal reasoning: The death penalty for being gay still exists

It would be rare (I think and hope) to find a Christian in American who supports making laws to put gays in prison for life or to kill them just for being gay. However, that is the legal reality of most of Africa, and in numerous parts of the world.

The first and foremost reason I support same-sex marriage is that it would be a step toward eliminating the legal penalties that exist around the world for being gay.

#2 – Logical reasoning: There is no pain inflicted on other people

If all the gay people in the world suddenly started got married, would that really hurt other people? You may not (and don’t have to) like it or participate in it. But really, with all the violence, pain, suffering, hunger and and strife in this world, I think Christians really should not be expending so much energy to forbid same-sex marriage.

# 3 – Moral reasoning: Do the supreme “right thing”

Morality is a system or doctrine that defines “conformity to ideals of right human conduct”. As a Christian, I cannot elevate ANY doctrine above the greatest command: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” And the second greatest command is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” And furthermore, Jesus defines this greatest command to love as “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Whether our conscience guides us to support or oppose same-sex marriage, Christians on both sides would be far more effective by remembering the highest “right conduct”: love.

# 4 – Biblical reasoning: No prohibition of same-sex marriage

When I understand the six gay-slamming Bible verses in context, I see only a warning against promiscuity, sexual experimentation and harmful gang rape. Christians are right to use Scriptural teaching to speak out against (with civility?) those activities. Yet in no verse do I see a prohibition of same-sex, monogamous marriage. I see no reason to forbid certain people to marry. And while we ought to have a much higher regard for the doctrines of celibacy, I also contend that we should apply the same reasoning about marriage toward homosexuals as we do in regard to heterosexuals: “if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 1 Corinthians 7:8-10  Monogamous, same-sex marriage is actually a restraint against sexual immorality.

Why in the world would God allow some of the Leviticus laws in Judaism? I contend that all of Leviticus points to Jesus. The homosexual reference in Leviticus, I contend, was put there by God so that the condemnation of homosexuals would be forever abolished on the cross. The 613 laws of Judaism were ended by being nailed to the cross. This is a part of the gospel that has been lost in Western Christianity, I contend. If anything, Christians ought to be proclaiming the joy and freedom God gave to homosexuals, helping them to overcome guilt and condemnation!

In fact, I contend that if Christians would approach the LGBT community with love and honesty, I believe many of them would realize they do not really believe in the gospel Jesus proclaimed. Many, I contend, would discover that they really believe in obeying the law rather than in the grace of God. Many others would find that they have adhered to a form of Judaism, and not Christ-likeness. I further believe the LGBT Bible teachers have the greatest opportunity to know and preach and live the gospel of Jesus to Christendom.

More thoughts on Biblical reasoning in regard to sames-sex issues:
http://paradigmshift-jmac.blogspot.com/2012/05/lesbians-gays-and-kingdom-of-god.html
http://biblethumpingliberal.com/paul-abolishes-the-law/
http://www.ubfriends.org/2012/05/14/glbt-evangelism/
http://www.priestlynation.com/archives/1071

#5 – Historical reasoning: No gay cure

As time passes, we human beings have discovered much in the world and universe around us. In regard to homosexuality, we’ve found that there is a sexual orientation that cannot be changed. Yes, there are people among all orientations who are just experimenting or playing around. Those people are confusing the issues, I think. But a truly same-sex oriented person simply is just that– and will be for their entire life. I believe we must factor this into whatever our position is on this issue. For example, trying to find a “gay cure” is just not going to work.

#6 – Historical reasoning: The inquisition mindset is wrong

Until the 12th and 13th century, and until the inquisitions became fully active (1200-1500), there was debate and discussion about homosexuality, but not widespread penalties. “After the twelfth century Christian tolerance and acceptance of gay love seems to disappear with remarkable rapidity. The writings of St. Aelred disappeared because they were kept locked up in Cistercian monasteries until about eight years ago, when for the first time Cistercians could again read them. Beginning about 1150, for reasons I cannot adequately explain, there was a great upsurge in popular intolerance of gay people. There were also at this time violent outbursts against Jews, Muslims, and witches. Women were suddenly excluded from power structures to which they had previously had access-no longer able, for example, to attend universities in which they had previously been enrolled. double monasteries for men and women were closed. There was suspicion of everyone. In 1180 the Jews were expelled from France.” (Source)

I agree with this post from 2007:

“UBF is the kind of organization that sucks your life away. You don’t associate with anyone outside of it, and once you become serious about it, you actually move into a church dormitory and spend all of your time doing free work for the church: recruitment, maintenance, cooking, etc. Christianity is only a tertiary concern. Surely nobody can be surprised that religion, which encourages a mindset of blind devotion and taking things on faith, would lead people right into the hands of exploitative cultists.”

http://www.cydeweys.com/blog/2007/06/29/religious-cult-preying-on-vulnerable-lonely-college-students/

To help clarify, here is some more information about who I am, or rather who I was, in UBF.

In case you didn’t realize, I was in UBF since 1987, when I joined Toledo UBF. I was Director of Detroit UBF from 2003 to 2011, when I resigned in protest over the abuses I saw in UBF the past 24 years.

I did everything in UBF: I was a fellowship leader, I married by faith, I went to Russia as a short-term missionary, I was a shepherd, Bible teacher and group leader. I served international conferences with many hours. I spent 30 to 40 hours every week for UBF activities. I once defended UBF ideology absolutely on the internet in 2004, even taking down anti-UBF websites.

But my conscience has bothered me greatly. I saw too many abuses in UBF. I must now be a vocal critic of UBF ideology in hopes of God’s redemption for UBF. Although I do receive a couple “hate emails” from time to time, I have received an overwhelmingly positive response to this blog. The common theme is that people don’t like my method of being so vocal or so blatant, but nearly everyone who has contacted me has thanked me for speaking up.

And I have had over 2,000 conversations about these matters over the past year, through email, in-person meetings and phone calls.

I have four blogs and share my thoughts openly. Over 2,500 people from around the world have read my priestly nation blog:

http://www.priestlynation.com/about

After leaving UBF, I find that psychology has much to help to offer. The following media summarizes what has been very helpful to me, to unbind my mind and find the freedom and grace and love Jesus promised.

Helpful movies:
– “Mars Needs Moms”
– “The Hunger Games”
– “Good”
– “Downfall”
– “Amen”
– “Tangled”
– “Wrecked”
– “The Lorax”
– “Monsters Inc.”
– “Megamind”
– “Despicable Me”
– “The Shunning”
– “Astro Boy”

My favorite blogger these days:
http://paradigmshift-jmac.blogspot.com/2012/05/what-if-entire-fellowship-believed-that.html

A helpful documentary about Bonhoeffer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJpkVI2ZlMY

The story of Charles Spurgeon, the prince of preachers:
(converted while the normal pastor was snowed in!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlvK0EUn6u0

Fast, on a rough road riding
High, through the mountains climbing
twisting, turning further from my home.
Young, like a new moon rising
Fierce, through the rain and lightning
Wandering out into this great unknown.

And I don’t want no one to cry, but tell em’
If I don’t survive…

I was Born Free!
I was born free
I was born free, Born Free.

Free, like a river raging
Strong, if the wind I’m facing.
Chasing dreams and racing father time.
Deep like the grandest canyon,
Wild like an untamed stallion.
If you can’t see my heart you must be blind.

You can knock me down and watch me bleed
But you can’t keep no chains on me.

I was Born Free!
I was born free
I was born free, Born Free.

And I’m not good at long goodbyes but look down
Deep into my eyes.

I was born free!

Calm facing danger
Lost, like an unknown stranger
Grateful for my time with no regrets.

Close to my destination
Tired, frail and aching
Waiting patiently for the sun to set.

And when its done believe that I will yell it from that mountain highhh!

And I will vow to the shining seas and celebrate God’s Grace on me.

I also came to realize that Confucian thought had become a barrier that hindered my writing of messages, testimonies, etc. I could never quite grasp the meaning of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Where did I pick up Confucian ideas in America? Certainly such thoughts came from a Korean version of Confucianism, perhaps mixed in with Taoism and Buddhism. Today I would like to delve into this a little deeper. This is a big topic, and one to which I expect to give more thought. In the future, I plan to examine the 12-point UBF spiritual heritage in light of these Confucius teachings. At first glance, the heritage lines up well with Confucius ideas.

Example: The Lens of Li and Junzi

The main ideas of Confucianism are (as I understand them from my research)… etiquette (li), parental piety (hsiao), humanity (ren), loyalty (chung) and nobility (junzi).

For many years, these ideas were the lens through which I viewed Scripture. When I wrote a message or testimony, the content was judged as “good” or “bad” based on how clearly these ideas were presented. So my worldview was shaped by these things.

Now all of this was unspoken and implicit. Never was I told explicitly: “Write a Confucian message!” But these unspoken values became woven into the fabric of my faith.

Here is an example from one of my messages I wrote on John chapter 3.

John 3:1-3  1 Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council.  2 He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him.”  3 In reply Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.”

My concluding paragraph about verses 1 through 3 was this:

Now consider Jesus’ words, “No one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again”. This is very controversial.  At the same time here is the greatness of Jesus. In the presence of Christ, all the worldly greatness is gone. People face this reality check, “Who am I?  Do I see the kingdom of God? Do I experience God? What is my future?”  These words of Jesus make me to think about myself.  Have I been born a new?  Do I see the kingdom of God?  Like Nicodemus I have devoted myself to Bible study. I have tried to live an honorable life with the best I can. I have now become a man of modest accomplishment in this world. If Jesus were here today, would I come to him?  What would I do if Jesus says to me, “No one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again”.  This is true with you.  What would be your response as you hear from Jesus, “No one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again”?

Oh how I missed SO many chances to share the good news of Jesus! Instead, I labored to keep proper etiquette, to respect the “spiritual order” of parental piety, and to live a loyal, human and noble life!

How did the Confucian ideas affect what I wrote in the paragraph above? Let me explain.

Etiquette:  The teaching called “li” is about “the proper way”. This is a belief that includes ritual, propriety and etiquette. It includes a set of rules for interaction with others. Knowing and finding your role in a system is important. In UBF, I learned the “rules of engagement” for a messenger (and also for testimony writing). The first rule is to accept the thoughts of your shepherd (leader).  The words above? Those are not mine. They were dictated to me, given to me as the words I should present as my thoughts. Because I looked at my life through the lens of “li”… I accepted this as normal.

Nobility:  The teaching called “junzi” is about righteousness, honesty and trustworthiness. A junzi is a nobleman. It was a term used by Confucius to describe his ideal human. UBF trained me to be a “junzi” man. So I became devoted to Bible study, and to whatever activity was presented to me. I tried to live a noble, honest life. Because I also viewed life through the lens of “junzi”, I made the words above my own, and defended them as being my true feelings and thoughts.

The proper lens: Grace

Although there are theological differences among the Christian greats, I have found a common theme. They all looked at Scripture through the lens of grace.  The grace of God is the last word of the Bible; the lasting impression God would leave with mankind.

And not only was grace the lens that the ancient greats used, it is the lens through which modern Christians use:

“In the New Testament, ‘grace’ is a word of central importance – the keyword, in fact, of Christianity. The thought of grace is the key that unlocks the New Testament; and it is the only key that does so. However well we may know the New Testament, we cannot get inside its meaning till we know something of what grace is.”  — J.I.Packer
http://www.fbccs.org/resources/papers/grace.asp

When I see Scripture from the viewpoint of grace, I see a marvelous fabric of love, hope, faith, joy, peace, goodness, righteousness, holiness and justice! The grace of God melts away all other worldly ideas and restores Jesus as my Lord and King!

I have several thoughts on the rogue chapters. First of all, this is not a new trend. It is called pioneering in UBF. Up to now, a large percentage, if not almost all, pioneering events in UBF happened because of self-induced strife, division or trouble of some kind (not real persecution, but in-fighting). For example, way back in 1990, James Kim’s family went to Houston in the midst of Godfather-like turmoil.

In my observation, many of the satellite UBF chapters around the world are “doing their own thing” while keeping face with UBF officially. This does not mean all UBF chapters are just rebellions waiting to happen; just that many of them started out with strife of some sort. Some UBF directors have the idea that they are blessing their chapter members by protecting them from other UBF members. Each chapter director seems to find his own way to implement the UBF idealogy in a “better” way.

I was surprised to hear this direction from an older Korean UBF missionary, who had been pioneering many years on his own. When I shared my struggles with him, he told me the best direction is to do what he has been doing for decades: form your own chapter and do what you want! That’s when I realized something significant: As a UBF director, I had no accountability to anyone. As long as I did not infringe on some other UBF director’s territory, I was free!

This sounded awesome at first. But then I realized a key problem with the current UBF authority structure. As a director I did indeed have freedom to do what I wanted, but I also had absolute power and authority. The only requirements from UBF headquarters was to send in offering & attendance numbers, to send in an annual work report and to be present at at least one staff conference per year. I didn’t even have to write “sogams”, just a work report. I realized that I could setup a Muslim training camp or an athiest think-tank in my chapter, and call it “UBF”. As long as I was good enough at playing the game, I could be my own man. This is ironic since UBF historically teaches you that no one is “their own man”.

 After realizing how many rogue chapters are out there, and realizing that “going rogue” was my best chance at staying in UBF, I became fearful. I feared having too much power with no accountability. Is that a Christian way of leadership, I wondered? Soon after these things, and after many phone/email conversations, I resigned as director of Detroit UBF. I did not want to be part of such an unBiblical model of leadership. Such a model, in my observation, causes undue sectarianism and destroys the unity our Lord prayed for.

Could you live one month with no UBF activity? What would you do if you were told you could not participate in any UBF programs or go to the UBF center or campus for 30 days? How do you think UBF leaders would react to such an absence?

The newspaper article from 1990 is here:
“The Winnipeg Sun” Vol. 10, No.90 Tuesday, April 17, 1990

http://rsqubf.info/documents/external/winnipegsun/

It was the last straw for a then 22 year old Bible study student, who realized the missionary position could take on a new meaning.

She blushes even yet as she recalls how the man she looked to as her spiritual leader abused her trust. She had agreed to go with him to recruit University of Manitoba students to join their Bible study group, but they ended up together on his bed. She never questioned him- she went willingly.

In a lengthy interview with two city police officers, she told them about the ministry and how control over her own life had been taken away – how she was led to believe in the ultimate authority of a man who betrayed it.

“The police wanted to know everything from the beginning to the end. Their main concern was …I never resisted. From a legal point of view, it’s hard to fight.”

A police spokesman says no charges have been laid nor are any contemplated at this time. But for her that’s immaterial. She’s achieved her goal. “if someone else comes forward (with a complaint), it won’t be the first.”

Theresa discovered the truth too late, but she wanted to warn others. It was then the threats began. Word leaked out hse’d spoken to the media. They convinced her to fly to Chicago, headquarters for the fellowship, led by Korean missionary Samuel Lee and American Sarah Berry.

“Won’t accept no”

There, she was told they’d take legal action against her if she dared speak out. It was enough to instill the fear of God.

But last fall, the second year student at Red River Community College knew she could no longer keep her silence after she spotted three Korean missionaries on campus. It could happen all over again – and there could be more victims.

That summer, she moved in with two Korean missionaries and another woman involved with the Winnipeg group of about 20 missionaires and 15 students.

“They said where I was living was not the best environment -that my friends were a bad influence because they were questioning and challenging me. My friends were saying be careful. When I first moved in, I had been dating a guy for two years. They said I had to end it.” All marraiges are arranged.

“They kept making insinuations about my marraige. I didn’t trust (them) to choose my marraige partner.” At first, everyone was “all lovey”, but then they started casting aspersions on her, she says. She became confused.

“You’re always exposing yourself…all your secrets…even your worst thoughts you’d never thought you’d share. Instead of being helped, you’re judged. I was made to feel the problem was with me, yet I couldn’t fully believe that.”

Below is the letter I sent (with names removed) first to a select few leaders, to the entire Council, and to numerous UBF people. As of today, more than three months later, I have received no answers to these questions. I did receive two invitations to a closed-door meeting with a few people to talk about my “top 3 questions” for “repentance” and “reconciliation”, which I declined. I was also told that it would take an effort equivalent to thesis writing to answer my questions. And one person told me I could just answer them myself.

I now share this letter publicly in order to bring these issues further into the light. I hope to spark open, honest discussion, which to this day has not happened, with senior UBF leaders. Some active discussion has taken place with a few UBF people however. It is true that I am not interested in reform. I am interested in rebuilding and finding a new identity. I am interested in “moving on” (but not in silence). Much of the content on this blog was a result of the response (and lack thereof) to this letter.

Leadership Council:

After I receive a written response to my questions below from the new leadership council in Toledo UBF, I will consider an in-person meeting in Toledo UBF. My reasoning for this request is that I have observed the same pattern of people leaving UBF the past 21 years. Although we are beginning to experience something new, the words and actions of Toledo leaders the past 8 years do not reconcile. The words are good and genuine, but the actions tell a different story.

Event 1: The 1990 moving of James and Rebekah Kim in Toledo.
Were our actions illegal according to Ohio Law?
Did these actions violate the US Constitution, the 4th amendment?
Did these actions violate God’s commands to love our neighbor?

Event 2: The Detroit chapter pioneering.
Why was I not allowed to form a pioneering committee to assist the process when I requested such help?
Why were we demanded to travel to Toledo every Sunday for 6 months as a requirement to be officially sent out to Detroit?
Why did we not seriously discuss being missionaries to Russia or to England?
Why were we just left in Detroit alone for 7 years? (the first year a Korean missionary was in Detroit, but after he left UBF, Toledo UBF stopped nearly all communication).

Event 3: Succession of leadership in Toledo UBF.
Why were five fully-qualified leadership candidates not groomed to become pastor over the past 21 years?
Why is there confusion about being a director vs. being a pastor?
Is there any plan for someone else to be pastor/director?
How does this situation compare to what happened in Bowling Green?

Event 4: Dead dog training.
What is dead dog training?
Does this training still exist or anything like it?
Why is obedience to authority so highly valued above other Christian values?

Event 5: The gospel.
What is the gospel?
What might UBF learn from other churches?
How can UBF be connected to 2,000+ years of Christian history?

Event 6: Christian ministry.
What is the role of a pastor?
How does a pastor work with other elders?
How does a pastor help church members fine their role and gifts from the Holy Spirit?
What doctrines and teachings should a pastor be reading and knowing?

Event 7: Systematic problems with UBF.
Other former members have already expounded on this. I agree with all of what they said regarding ministry problems and ways to change. Why is it so difficult to listen to honest, truthful Christians who have ideas for improving the ministry?
Why are those who speak honestly and truthfully driven away from the ministry?

I must admit my own failure to care for fellow Christians. I did not even realize there was a rather large UBF chapter in Hong Kong! But it is clear they have experienced the same spiritual abuse issues over the past decade that many have experienced. Here is their blog:

http://hkubf.blogspot.com/ (Chinese)

http://hkubf.blogspot.com/ (Google-translated into English)

This is yet another example of evidence that the problems facing UBF are not because of Korean culture. The problems are systemic in nature, woven into the very fabric of UBF’s existence. Our Hong Kong brothers and sisters demonstrate yet again that the world-wide problems in UBF are rooted in lack of accountability for leaders, an unchecked desire for power by UBF directors and an unhealthy focus on “praising God” and personal piety while forgetting to love your neighbor.

As I was reviewing the Google search terms yesterday, one term stood out. It was actually a question someone had typed into Google: How to leave UBF? This inspired me to post today’s article. I believe Scott Moreau of Wheaton College was correct in his suggestion for UBF to “publicly discuss their administration problems”. This is a nice and politically correct way of saying UBF needs open, honest and group communication.

The question of to stay or not to stay? has been discussed on another blog. In fact it is the number one discussion in terms of number of views and comments.

So here is my initiation of a public discussion of the question “How do I leave UBF?” I kick off the discussion by presenting a historical overview of how people have left in the past 50 years. This is of utmost importance because when you decide to leave UBF, you often feel like you are alone, as if no one else has left UBF. You can rest assured that many thousands of people have indeed left UBF, and continue to leave even today in 2011.

1. The deprogrammer way of leaving: In order to properly answer a question like this, it is important to understand the historical background. The fact is, people and organizations are constantly changing. And if we don’t acknowledge history, we are, of course, bound to repeat it.

UBF began in 1961, in South Korea. When Korean missionaries were first sent to America, Germany and Canada and other countries in the 1970’s, cult-watching groups immediately picked up on their practices as unusual and strange. Some have explained this as Korean culture and the clash between Eastern and Western ideals and value systems. This does go a long way in understanding UBF. Nonetheless, the first reaction to UBF was strong. Groups like CAN (Cult Awareness Network) actually kidnapped people in UBF and tried to “deprogram” them. It is unknown to me how often this happened to UBF Bible students, but I know it did happen. Thankfully, this organization went bankrupt. Almost everyone acknowledges this was the wrong approach Biblically, emotionally and psychologically, and illegally, to leaving groups like UBF.

2. The traumatic way of leaving: Although the deprogrammer approach subsided quickly, leaving UBF has historically been traumatic. There are literally hundreds of testimonies to this fact. A few have kept their Christain faith; many have shipwrecked their faith in their attempts to leave UBF. And tragically, there are reports (from Germany) that some have committed suicide after their leaving, due to the overwhelming madness of the response from UBF leaders. In my eyewitness observation and personal experience, nearly all of this trauma, pain, bitterness, anger, frustration, confusion and depression is attributed to one thing: the hard-hearted mindset of UBF leaders.

To a UBF leader, discipline and army-like devotion and loyalty are paramount. Leaving UBF is not an option and not acceptable to them. In their minds, it is not a question anyone should be asking; it is equated to losing your faith and disobeying God. The Korean ideas of shunning and shaming have traditionally been used to coerce people to stay, to come back, or to leave in silence. (In my case those tactics were used to get me to leave quietly…but as you can see that did not work.)

When you want to leave UBF, you need to understand this mindset. UBF leaders will say many nice words and may claim you can freely leave. In their actions, they will make it as difficult to leave as possible. At best, they will claim you are a “lesser Christian” and leaving the “green berets of Christianity” or going to a “luke-warm church” (if you found another church).

As Scott Moreau pointed out, these “turn-the-table” tactics, which attempt to place all the blame and fault on the person leaving, will lead to “vocal enemies” and explosive exit testimonies when shame and guilt tactics are used in America and in the West.

3. The pact of silence way of leaving: As I pointed out in a post earlier, some have left UBF with a large sum of money or other mutually beneficial terms. My good friend James Kim left this way. This might be called the “agree-to-disagree” way of leaving UBF, if the leaving happens to be amicable.

Although money may not always be involved, this “pact method” is currently the preferred way of leaving UBF by UBF leaders. Most people I know who left UBF (about 103 people from about 22 families–all from one chapter) did so with some sort of agreement to remain silent about any issues that caused them to leave. Some have had a final Sunday service or final meeting in which UBF leaders prayed with the people leaving. But then after the people leave, often the UBF director tells UBF members the person left because of one of two reasons: “They don’t like Korean culture” or “They have inter-personal problems and just can’t get along with so-and-so.”

4. The vocal/public way of leaving: This is how I describe my leaving UBF: the vocal way. All I really wanted for the past 8 years is constructive dialogue about UBF issues and past “dark side” history. My reasons for leaving explain this in more detail. Leaving this way gave me and my family time to transition into a new, healthy Christian church.

Most of the questions I raised were a means of buying time so that we could do this in a healthy way. UBF leaders constantly demanded a quick resolution, except when they took time out to form a new council. Most of the time, UBF leaders just wanted me to go away so they could get back to “serving Jesus” or “student ministry”. To them, my family’s leaving was a distraction to their work.

Reconciling quickly would have had a destructive effect on my mind and heart. So I kept the dialogue open for 4 months. This enabled me to rekindle my faith (which had become stagnant), as well as to find out who I could trust (lack of trust was a key issue). Keeping the dialogue going was difficult, but opened the door to nearly 500 email discussions, several hours of in person meetings and several phone calls. To do this required a huge investment of time, effort and money. I took over 4 full days off work (without pay), made three trips to Toledo (70 miles away) and spent many hours in prayer and reflection.

Expressing my thoughts on this blog and to some extent on ubfriends.org, helped me keep my sanity and provided psychological stability. Meeting in person with many friends helped me (and our family) to have emotional stability. Most importantly, the vocal method of leaving allowed all UBF leaders to hear my story firsthand (via emails and blogs) so that no one could turn the tables and claim I was just leaving out of “bitterness toward one leader” or out of a “dislike for Koreans”. My blog demonstrates these things are not true.

If you are considering leaving UBF, I won’t advise you either way. I only advise you to focus on facts and think for yourself. Please know that you are not alone. Understand that the burden of proof is on UBF leaders, not on you. It is not your fault. You are not required to feel guilty for leaving for any reason.

And finally, you are not required to give any reason for leaving a church other than, “I don’t want to stay.”

I am blogging on this website to ask tough questions that UBF leaders do not want to ask or have refused to ask. I am blogging to capture the thoughts and memories I have so that I and others can refer to them later (I’ve heard my Russian friends are translating some of my posts and putting them in a more logical arrangement.) But most of all, my purpose here is to open people’s minds, to “give them a lot to consider” (as one person who wrote me said in response to my articles).

I don’t want you to leave UBF. I don’t want you to stay in UBF. I want you to think; to think for yourself and open your mind. Why should we be so fearful of asking questions and discussions? Who knows, it may just lead to more joy, peace and faith than you’ve ever experienced!

Recently I found an excellent website expressing some very good thought processes, especially in regard to thinking and observing things in a religious environment. Today I present a small part of an article by Steven Hassan and Lama Surya Das called “Spiritual Responsibility“. This section of the article deals with the question of how to assess a church or religious organization.

Questions to Help the Assessment Process

1. Who is the leader? What are his/her background and qualifications? Have you relied solely on trust that all of the information you were given is true or have you done independent investigation? Do you feel pressure to accept and not question at all? Is it possible that there are misrepresentations or falsehoods?

Is there external corroboration for extraordinary claims of accomplishment or are they simply his/her say-so? If “miracles” have been performed, can they be replicated under open observation or even under scientific conditions? Are there other explanations for the “miracles,” such as magic tricks, hypnosis, etc.?

If there is a former leader or member, have you sought him or her out to hear for yourself critical information? If not, are you afraid to trust your ability to discern the truthfulness of what you learn?

If you find yourself saying that you don’t care if there are major deceptions, ask yourself if you knew this information before you became involved, would you have even bothered to make a commitment of time and money?

2. Are there exclusive claims made to wisdom, knowledge, love, and truth? If so, the burden of proof is on the leader to demonstrate his or her superiority, not on members to disprove it. A truly “developed” spiritual being exudes love, compassion, and humility. Any person who claims to be “superior” but does not practice what they preach is of questionable character. There is never incongruency between words and deeds. A person who uses fear and phobia indoctrination to control followers demonstrates insecurity and lack of spiritual maturity.

3. Is total submission and obedience required? Any relationship that demands giving up one’s personal integrity and conscience is dangerous and leads to totalitarianism. Be wary of those who advocate “the ends justify the means,” especially when it clearly serves their own self-interest. Also, make sure that your desire “to believe” doesn’t simply activate the common psychological defense mechanisms: denial, rationalization, justification, and wishful thinking. If a doctrine is true or a person is truly spiritually advanced, they will stand up to the scrutiny of objective evaluation. If they do not prove themselves, they are probably not worthy of your commitment and devotion.

4. Does he/ she have a criminal record, a legacy of allegations against him/her or a history of misconduct? If there are allegations of misconduct against the leader, the responsible follower must seek out the negative information and the sources of that information to evaluate the truth. If a leader claims to be celibate and allegations are made that the leader engaged in inappropriate sex, this is an extreme violation of integrity. It must be investigated vigorously. It is never appropriate for teachers, therapists, or spiritual masters to take advantage of a power differential over followers. This is especially true in the area of sexuality. It is grossly unethical to engage in sexual relations with someone who has placed their trust in as a teacher/advisor/master. Many followers are incredibly vulnerable to this and unable to resist sexual intimacy. Anyone should be able to say “no.”Is he or she a “trust bandit,” stealing hearts, souls, minds, bodies, and pocketbooks for his or her own ends?

5. Does the leader demonstrate psychological problems and awareness of their existence?Does the leader have addictions to power, drugs, alcohol, sex, even television or shopping? Does the leader have emotional outbursts? Does the leader physically abuse followers? Does the leader drive expensive cars and wear expensive clothes while extolling the virtues of renunciation?

Does the leader financially exploit followers by expecting them to live in poverty while he or she indulges in luxury? Is the group or leader’s driveway habitually filled with luxury cars while ordinary people find him or her inaccessible and unreachable?

Does the leader ever encourage deception or use deception as a “technique” to trick followers into so-called correct thinking and understanding?

Codependent behavior by a spiritual teacher should be a warning sign of danger. Codependency includes: obsessively trying to control others; allowing people to hurt and use them; lack of clear boundaries; being reactive, not proactive; tunnel visioned; obsessive worrying and denial; expectations of perfection and suppression of human needs. (Beattie, Beyond Codependency, Harper/Hazelden, 1989)

6. Are questions and doubts permitted within the organization? A healthy spiritual environment must engage individual followers at their level of experience and should encourage them to feel and think and therefore question their beliefs and exercise good decision-making. In this way, the follower can investigate, discriminate, and test the dogma and the environment they are being asked to accept, between what his or her personal issues are and what might be an unhealthy environment. If intense pressure is used to dissuade people who wish to talk with former members or critics, it is a clear sign of information control. Controlling information is one of the most essential components of mind control.

7. Is the organization open or closed? Are there organizational secrets? Are there “in” groups and “out” groups? Are there restricted teachings for initiates only?

Are there secret texts and publications “for your eyes only”? Is there real financial accountability? If a group says that you can look at its accounting records, does it actually provide access? The only way to know is to ask to see the records. If you are afraid to ask, what does this say about the atmosphere of the group?

8. What structural checks and balances exist within the organization to prevent abuse of power? Are there divisive sectarian biases, even in the name of interdenominational ecumenicism and universality? Is there an independent “ethics”committee to challenge and change policies of the group?If there are abuses or injustices, what structure exists to correct them?

Can anyone legitimately question the actions of the leader without threat of emotional withdraw or fear of expulsion to “hell”?

Do the rich and powerful get preferential treatment?
Are “indulgences” (spiritual pardons) sold? Is there a “code of silence” against unethical behavior of leaders?

The documents describing the three reform movements are posted in an earlier entry. UBF started in 1961. The three “R-Group” movements were in 1976, 1989 and 2000. So the attempts to reform UBF have lasted 35 years.

Recently I came to know that my leaving UBF was part of a rather large exodus of members and long-time (10+ years) leaders around the world. In the past, the reform attempts were led by Korean missionaries, many of whom formed a new ministry called CMI (Campus Mission International).

The movement in 2011 is lead by “natives” (Americans, Indians, Russians, etc.). Very few Koreans are involved this time.

Today I declare that this 2011 movement is the “Independence Movement of 2011”. We are the “I-Group” people. We are not rebellious. We are not poisonous. We are no longer interested in reform. We are tired of waiting for even a drop of change.

We are people who have decided to leave UBF for the sake of freedom. We tried to agree-to-disagree and to humbly reform things from the inside. But we have concluded that this is not possible, given the current structure of UBF, the absolute power and authority given to Korean directors, the stubborn rejection of open, honest discussion by UBF elders and the refusal of UBF elders to even acknowledge any kind of problem.

Therefore, we declare our separation from UBF in order to submit to the Holy Spirit, to obey Scripture’s teachings, to find our Gifts and put them to use in our Lord’s service, to seek the unity Apostle Paul spoke of, to let the things built by man to fall to the ground and to pursue the things of God with a passionate love for grace, truth, faith, hope and love for our King Jesus, our High Priest, in whom is all authority and power.

Before the Declaration was finalized, Thomas Jefferson shared his personal struggle, being torn between a “cordial love” for the British union, and the pain of his conscience to not “yield to the terms of the Parliament”.

“Believe me, dear Sir: there is not in the British empire a man who more cordially loves a union with Great Britain than I do. But, by the God that made me, I will cease to exist before I yield to a connection on such terms as the British Parliament propose; and in this, I think I speak the sentiments of America.
—Thomas Jefferson, November 29, 1775

Declaring independence from the tyranny of King George III was not easy and not without much debate. Should the 13 colonies remain loyal to the King? Should they humbly submit to the King’s demands? What really was so wrong with the rule of Britain? Didn’t the King do so many good things for the people? Didn’t Britain provide protection and many other benefits? In the end, the men of the Second Continental Congress chose to follow their consciences and forge a new path based on the facts of their situation and not their duty to be loyal to their leader.

The Declaration of Independence was the document that “justified the independence of the United States by listing colonial grievances against King George III, and by asserting certain natural and legal rights, including a right of revolution.” (source)

The first paragraph sets the tone for the Declaration. It presents the Declaration as a reasonable and logical petition, and also clearly declares the purpose of the colonies to “dissolve the political bands” and to separate from the King’s authority:

WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

The next paragraph begins with the famous statement:

“WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness—”

But the ending of this paragraph is of great importance:

“The History of the present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.”

The Americans were not upset because of one or two grievances. They were furious because of the “history of repeated injuries”. The pattern of tyranny had to be broken.

Next, the Declaration lists 27 charges against the King. These facts demonstrate the King’s tyranny and violation of people’s rights. Although there was an over-abundance of emotion among those preparing the document, they focused on these facts.

Then the Declaration makes an appeal to those still feeling they must remain part of the British empire in order to be loyal to their British friends and family. The Declaration reminds everyone that the American colonies had already exhausted humble petition, repeatedly asking for dialogue regarding the charges, only to be answered by “repeated injury”. The colonies had already warned their British brothers and sisters. They had already made repeated attempts to reform the government. They already reminded and appealed, only to see the leaders become “deaf to the Voice of Justice”.

In every stage of these Oppressions we have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble Terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose Character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People.

Nor have we been wanting in Attentions to our British Brethren. We have warned them from Time to Time of Attempts by their Legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the Circumstances of our Emigration and Settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and Magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the Ties of our common Kindred to disavow these Usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections and Correspondence. They too have been deaf to the Voice of Justice and of Consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the Necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of Mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace, Friends.

The final paragraph speaks for itself and utterly declares the right to freedom:

We, therefore, the Representatives of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political Connection between them and the State of Great-Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

The primary reason (in my opinion) for controversial and often bi-polar opinions about UBF is the undocumented UBF belief system. The public statement of faith for UBF is in line with Christianity. There is much organized effort to promote UBF as a Christian church. Yet, actions speak volumes about what UBF leaders really believe.

Today I am posting a list of undocumented doctrines UBF teaches by the actions of its leaders. If one was to read through the hundreds of UBF messages posted publicly, you might be able to discern these teachings. Having lived and breathed UBF for 24 years, I will save you the trouble. It is extremely rare to find any of these documented. Raising questions about these teachings is very problematic for a UBF member. Or, God forbid, if someone suggests a different way to go about putting these teachings into practice, it is tantamount to “spiritual suicide”, if you are a member of UBF. Fortunately, I no longer carry that burden.

Here is my list so that I don’t forget. I am also posting this list as a personal act of repentance. I not only believed these teachings, I promoted them absolutely for many years as a leader in UBF.

I will add to this as I recall various things. And I will use this to expound on each teaching. By posting this list, I am not implying that these teachings are good or bad (not yet). I am also not explaining how these differ from Scripture’s teachings (not today anyway).

1. Class system: sheep, shepherds, native leaders, Korean leaders

2. Directorship hierarchy: the idea of a tree structure of benevolent dictators.

3. Marriage by faith: Willingness to let a leader choose your future spouse.

4. Pioneering: Sending out one or more families to campuses around the world to setup a chapter of the organization, often without any valid support.

5. Covering: Willingness to cover all sins and not expose things that bother your conscience.

6. Loyalty to leaders: Willingness to obey and follow leaders above all other authority.

7. Separation: Willingness to be separated from friends, family and the world in order to join God’s true children.

8. Appeasement: Letting someone who speaks up have a task to do to keep them busy.

9. Propoganda: Speaking only positive things about leaders and the organization.

10. Duplicity: Willingness to ignore facts and adhere to double-standards, double-meanings and secret language.

11. Vertical communication: the idea that group discussion and communication methods (such as email) are bad.

The Altar Boys: “I question it”.

And I don’t want no one to cry, but tell em’
If I don’t survive…

I was Born Free!
I was born free
I was born free, Born Free.

Free, like a river raging
Strong, if the wind I’m facing.
Chasing dreams and racing father time.
Deep like the grandest canyon,
Wild like an untamed stallion.
If you can’t see my heart you must be blind.

You can knock me down and watch me bleed
But you can’t keep no chains on me.

I was Born Free!
I was born free
I was born free, Born Free.

And I’m not good at long goodbyes but look down
Deep into my eyes.

I was born free!

Calm facing danger
Lost, like an unknown stranger
Grateful for my time with no regrets.

Close to my destination
Tired, frail and aching
Waiting patiently for the sun to set.

And when its done believe that I will yell it from that mountain highhh!

And I will vow to the shining seas and celebrate God’s Grace on me.

Although I will do my best not to endlessly criticize UBF, I will not be silent. Over the past 6 months I have had numerous opportunities to negotiate a “cease-fire” or pact of silence. I could have an “agree to disagree” attitude, but I have refused. Today I share an example of someone who did sign a pact of silence with UBF.

Sometime before 1989, James Kim began speaking up about reform needs of UBF. In 2011, I see most of the same reform still needs to happen. Here is how his wife, Rebecca B. Kim, described his pact of silence. I have paraphrased some of this to remove the harsh words used (their full letters are preserved verbatim below).

The only [weapon] of M. James K. was the letter. He made many copies and mailed them out. He also gave it to Toledo shepherds. Once we were cut off, it was not easy to see them. But no one would be able to stop M. James K.

Through a mediator, M. Samuel Lee and M. James K. agreed to have a cease-fire. Before he went to Chicago UBF center to make a contract, he said to me, “…I will have the contract in writing signed by witnesses before God.” M. Samuel Lee’s request was for M. James K. to leave Toledo immediately and not to circulate the letter anymore. M. James K.’s request was to be sent to Houston as a director of Houston UBF, to have five American shepherds sent to Houston as pioneer coworkers, to receive financial support of $1,000 a month for two years.

The contract was typed on letter-sized paper, starting with words of praising God, signed by UBF board members before God as witnesses. He came home with the contract letter.

I was one of the American shepherds James Kim asked to go with him to Houston. Although I knew in my heart James Kim had been betrayed and was trustworthy, I refused because I was dealing with my father’s death at the time.

Here are the original open letters James and Rebecca Kim wrote later, around 2001. They are a total of 48 pages and filled with much passion. Yet they are also filled with many facts and brutal honesty before God. I preserve the letters here so that the voice of the late James Kim may continue to speak.

JamesKim2001

RebeccaBKim2001

Here then, is my reason for leaving UBF in 2011, after having began in 1987: I am leaving in order to promote unity in the body of Christ.

Some may say, “But your leaving caused division. You spoke so many negative words. How can you arrogantly say you want to promote unity by your leaving? You are nothing but an ungrateful fool!”

Before I explain my reasoning in detail, I cite 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 as the Scriptural basis for my decision.

“12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.” 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 (NIV)

I want to make it clear that I have made every effort (though not perfect effort) to avoid Scripture’s warnings of being deceitful, bitter, mocking or angry. I do not enjoy conflict, like the one mentioned in Proverbs 26:18-19: “18 Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death 19 is one who deceives their neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking!'”

I do not enjoy meaningless talk and rarely speak at all unless I am certain of what I say or write. I have not departed from the love of God, a pure heart, a good conscience nor a sincere faith, as in 1 Timothy 1:5-7: “5 The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. 6 Some have departed from these and have turned to meaningless talk. 7 They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm.”

Nor am I deserting Jesus. Nor am I giving up following Jesus, like in John 6:66-68: “66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. “67 ‘You do not want to leave too, do you?’ Jesus asked the Twelve. 68 Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.'”

I am leaving in order to advance the Apostolic unity Paul demanded in 1 Corinthians 12 and in other Scripture. In further posts I will explain the reasons why I think that my family’s leaving UBF is for the sake of unity in the body of Christ.

This is not something new that I just thought of in the past couple months. I have been contemplating these things for the past 8 years, storing them up in my heart like Mary in Luke 2:19.

It is because good men of faith like Joe S. and Ben T. have been speaking up for years about various changes, only to have their words fall on deaf ears. It is because men of faith not part of UBF have spoken up only to receive silence when their words became too real. It is because as of 2011, UBF remains listed on the lists of several cult-watching groups, groups where Christians pray that the authoritarian and cult-like practices of UBF don’t take a wrong turn and become even more distant from Christian churches.

I say these words because of what was done to people like Nick T. and Joe C. and to defend the honor of James and Rebekah B. Kim. I say these words remembering the hundreds of R-group people who wanted reform only to be labelled as rebels. I say these words remembering dozens of people who spoke up with a differing opinion only to be cast aside as if they were lepers. I say these words for all those who signed the petition in 2003 to revoke UBF’s status in the NAE. I say these words in hope that change will come and none of the totalitarian practices I witnessed firsthand will ever be practiced again on American soil and not in any other country.

I say these words with every bit of passion and fervor that the American founding fathers spoke as they declared our independence and drafted the U.S. Constitution guaranteeing our freedom: I am not in UBF.

In order to renew my understanding of the U.S. Constitution, I will be starting a new blogging series about various related topics and the document itself. I still believe this document is of great importance to humanity.

Some quotes about the Constitution:

“A constitution embodies the fundamental principles of a government. Our constitution, adopted by the sovereign power, is amendable by that power only. To the constitution all laws, executive actions, and, judicial decisions must conform, as it is the creator of the powers exercised by the departments of government.”

“As the British Constitution is the most subtle organism which has proceeded from the womb and long gestation of progressive history, so the American Constitution is, so far as I can see, the most wonderful work ever struck off at a given time by the brain and purpose of man.” (W. E. Gladstone’s famous remark about the Constitution)

“The term ‘rigid’ is used to describe the U.S. Constitution, in opposition to “flexible”, because the provisions are in a written document which cannot be legally changed with the same ease and in the same manner as ordinary laws. The British Constitution, which is unwritten, can, on the other hand, be changed overnight by act of Parliament.”

“The book which had the greatest influence upon the members of the Constitutional Convention was Montesquieu’s Spirit of Laws, which first appeared in 1748. The great French philosopher had, however, in turn borrowed much of his doctrine from the Englishman John Locke, with whose writings various members of the Convention were also familiar.”

If you want a good litmus test for whether a church is in step with the Spirit of God or is becoming a gathering place for old wineskins, here it is: voice a differing opinion. How do the church leaders react? People of God who know Jesus and have met the Spirit and respect the Father will welcome differing opinions. They will welcome questions and desire to engage in dialogue in order to understand.

It is said that some of the worst ideas in history have come from a group of like-minded people who had no opposing opinion or differing thought. What happens when you ask a question at your church? Do you get a phone call telling you to get lost? Do you get invited to a meeting to discuss why there are so many meetings? Do you get repeated demands to stop discussing matters through email? Are you prohibited from taking verbatim notes during a meeting because someone else will decide what was discussed? Do you get letters riddled with “I’m sorry” but receive no evidence of repentance? Do you see the same pattern of people with different ideas being driven away from the church, over and over again for decades? Are you required to develop the same church programs for all age groups regardless of their life situation?

The song “Against the grain” by the Altar Boys comes to mind:

Should we stand for mediocrity?
What do we mean by Christianity?
We throw our words around thinking we’re doing great
Love is what we need, it goes against the grain!

http://lyrics.wikia.com/Altar_Boys:Against_The_Grain
http://www.altarboys.com/

“A Reformed idea of equal significance to the priesthood of all believers is the assertion that each Christian has the right of conscience before God. No church governing body can compel or bind a person’s conscience. While the church teaches and exhorts, faith and practice are to be resolved as matters of conscience by individuals before God.” (source)

So now I commit myself to not bind other people’s consciences. I repent for doing this in the past. I now seek to guide or coach, giving people the means to make their own conclusions and their own decisions, whatever they may be. Actually, one of my favorite songs of all time by Whiteheart says this really well: Sing your freedom.