Red Flag: Praying for others to change

In some online discussions with former ubf members this week, I realized that prayer is taught by ubf teachers as a tool for change. We almost always exclusively prayed for the nation to change, for sheep to change, for some other country to change, for our children to change, etc. We always said “I’m praying for you” with the sentiment of “You need to change somehow”.

So many times the prayers of ubf shepherds are about pointing out sins in their sheep. How many remember sitting through a long prayer session where people prayed about your sins and how much you need to change?

Yet when did Jesus ever call a prayer meeting to change people or the nations? Do we see any evidence that Christian prayer is to be focused on changing something in other people?

I now see this kind of prayer as a red flag of spiritual abuse. If ubfers are praying for us former members to “repent” or “come back to our senses” then it is wasted effort. In the same way, if we ex-ubfers are praying for missionaries to change or to publicly repent or for ubf to be destroyed, then it is also wasted effort. Such prayers are not of Christ, in my belief.

How should we pray?

Jesus taught about prayer several times. The most famous is of course the Lord’s Prayer. How does the prayer begin?

Prayer, as Jesus taught it, is about the glory of God, not about changing people.

Prayer is about God doing his will and bringing about his kingdom, not about changing a nation to be holy.

Prayer is about raising the awareness of our collective needs, not about reminding Bible students of their sins.

Prayer is about forgiving people, not about changing people.

Prayer is about discerning God’s leading and listening for God’s voice, not about submitting to your shepherd’s ideas and plans for your life.

So the next time you hear someone at ubf “pray for you”, remember this is a red flag of cult control. This form of spiritual abuse is something that must end. Prayer is a wonderful gift, not something to be abused as a tool of manipulation.

The Work of Satan?

In a recent message also posted publicly, a ubf missionary mentions the situation in Mexico as the work of Satan. Here are the more detailed prayer topics:

First, God blessed M. Timothy and Hannah so far looking at their beautiful lives of sacrifice for the work in Mexico.

Second, what is happening now came from Satan for his hatred towards all believers and to attack the Conference in Mexico in April 2-5.

Third, I was very surprised to see M. Timothy’s faith which is as strong as Job’s, and M. Hannah is so different from Job’s wife. She was calm and always praying despite the difficult situation. I saw that they believe in God as their living redeemer.

Fourth, I could trust that the living Lord, our redeemer will end these problems very soon and that he will make them even more prosper in his belongings and also in their children– this doesn’t mean they will have two more children, they are no longer in an age to have more children, but God can give them more children in some other way: by giving children to M. John and M. Goh Eun, and in the case of Hannah Jr, by giving her a good husband for her house church and many spiritual children).

http://www.ubf.org/world-mission-news/latin-america/sunday-worship-message-jose-ahn-delivered-guadalajara-ubf

The Rest of the Story

The message above says this: “Now all of the coworkers in Mexico and other countries know how difficult times M. Timothy is going through.” I can’t help but wonder this: Do they? Do they really know the seriousness of what is happening? Is this really Satan’s work? Or might this be a work of God calling our ubfriends out of silence and to do the right things? If no crimes were committed, why not just come clean and share what is going on? If we are going to pray, shouldn’t we know a bit more about the situation?

The internet has numerous copies of this story, and there is an ongoing investigation into what the ubf missionaries were doing in their sock/garment business. Here is a small sampling of the stories being reported in the news media.

Mexico rescues 129 workers ‘abused’ by S.Korean firm

“Authorities raided the company in the town of Zapopan on Wednesday after receiving an anonymous tip, INM coordinator Ardelio Vargas Fosado told reporters, describing the South Koreans as a “gang of suspected human traffickers.”

Officials rescued 121 women and eight men, including six minors who were 16 and 17 years old.

The workers told prosecutors that they were “victims of physical and sexual abuse, as well as threats, psychological harm and grueling work days,” Vargas Fosado said.

The four South Koreans could not prove whether they legally lived in Mexico. The South Korean consulate was notified to provide assistance to the suspects, officials said.

Workers at Yes International, a company run by South Koreans, watch as Mexican police conduct a raid … Jalisco’s chief prosecutor, Luis Carlos Najera, said authorities are investigating whether child abuse and sexual crimes were committed.

The employees toiled in “unsanitary” conditions, with pollutants in their place of work, and the material they handled posed a fire hazard while the company had no fire safety equipment, said Victor Manuel Torres Moreno, a labor ministry official.”

http://news.yahoo.com/mexico-rescues-129-workers-abused-korean-firm-212651990.html

Korean company denies accusations

“Last week, Attorney General Luis Carlos Najera, revealed that some people who were “rescued” were under psychological treatment, since they had developed the “Stockholm Syndrome”; ie they had achieved affinity occupationally who presumably abused them.”

(translation to English link to this story)

Workers want factory reopened in Zapopan

“The company issued a statement this week to deny the charges against it. President Nak Bong Rhee Choi said the accusations were unfounded, although he admitted there had been a labor investigation but the firm was collaborating with authorities. It had committed no crimes, he said.”

http://mexiconewsdaily.com/news/workers-want-factory-reopened-zapopan/

Prayer as calling God long distance

For most of my life I imagined God sitting in heaven, millions of miles away. Communicating with God was like making a long distance call on a telephone. The call went something like this: “Dear most gracious father in heaven, thank you for your great work. Help me to overcome my laziness. I am the worst of sinners but thank you for your amazing love for me. Please help my sheep to repent of being family-centered and come to the summer bible conference. Open his heart, Lord, and give him a new desire to accept my invitation. May God make America a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. I pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.”

This kind of repeated long distance call left me empty, weak and confused after two decades of praying this way. I realize now some reasons why. One reason is that this prayer was a one way dictation of my needs to God. By constantly telling God what I wanted and what I wanted to be accomplished, I was treating God like a big vending machine in the sky. Another reason is that I kept praying to God this way out of fear. And another big reason for my emptiness came from dictating my will to God. That gets strenuous after a while. There was no room to listen to God, prayer was just me talking to God about myself and others. So my prayer life was marked by personal ambition, fear, and dictation.

Prayer as daily communion with the Spirit

As I’ve already shared, about 3 years ago I felt the Holy Spirit come over me in an unmistakable and very tangible manner after a certain phone call. Since then, my prayer life changed almost immediately. I no longer have any specific time set aside “to pray”. No longer do I envision God in heaven miles away. Still, at first, I felt guilty for not praying to God in heaven at a specific time as I always had for decades. That kind of prayer is fine to do, but I wanted something more. So I tried to do just that. But when I did that I had a noticeable feeling that I was ignoring someone right next to me, as if I was calling my grandmother in another city only to hear her cell phone ring because she was sitting right next to me. Making such a long distance call to talk to my grandmother on her cell phone when she is sitting in the same room as me would be very rude and insulting to her.

So prayer for me has become a daily communion with the Holy Spirit. No talking or communicating was involved at first. I just sensed a strong presence of God, always very near, almost inside me. From that first moment in 2011, my mind, heart and soul have been at peace, almost consumed by an effervescent comfort, joy and love. I felt surrounded by a protective, safe presence. That presence is so beautiful and amazing that sinful desires melt away far more quickly than ever before. Brother Lawrence seemed to explain my experience exactly in his book “The Practice of the presence of God”. I could never generate such a presence myself, it just happened suddenly and unexpectedly at one of the lowest points of my life.

For example:

“God is our “end.” If we are diligently practicing His presence, we shouldn’t need our former “means.” We can continue our exchange of love with Him by just remaining in His holy presence. Adore Him and praise Him!” –The Practice of the Presence of God (Brother Lawrence) Loc. 196-97

Thankfully, these worries did not weaken my faith in God, but actually made it stronger. When I finally reached the point where I expected the rest of my life to be very difficult, I suddenly found myself wholly changed.
” –The Practice of the Presence of God (Brother Lawrence) Loc. 218-20

“I don’t know what’s to become of me. It seems that a tranquil soul and a quiet spirit come to me even while I sleep. Because I am at rest, the trials of life bring me no suffering. I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I feel so serene that it doesnt matter.
” –The Practice of the Presence of God (Brother Lawrence) Loc. 286-87

Prayer as listening and discerning

One of the biggest revelations I’ve had about prayer is that prayer is mostly listening. Yes we have words to say to God. The Psalmists show us how we can express all kinds of emotions to God (without ticking God off!) And our Lord and Savior gave us the grand examples of how to pray. But both the Psalmists and Jesus listened to God, not only dictating their will to God, but trying to discern what God would have them do, and then struggling to obey.

Here is my brief outline of ways I’ve been learning to listen to God by hearing what the Holy Spirit is saying to me. The question here is this: How do I listen to God, discern God’s voice from other voices and obey what God would have me do?

1. The Holy Spirit guides us through…
-prompting (raising questions; leaving words impressed in our mind)
-prohibiting (raising objections; sudden sense of not doing something)
-clarifying (discover the root of anger, source of confusion)

2. The Holy Scriptures guide us through…
-explicit phrases (not just one word or verse but paragraphs and books)
-self-interpretation (bible teaches about itself)
-stories (teaching us principles not always specific laws to conform to)

3. The Holy people of God (other believers) guide us through…
-perspective (speaking words that speak to us)
-accountability (calling us out)
-listening (hearing our stories)

More questions

As I said in my intro, this article is not complete. I want to share my story and find out if anyone else has anything to share about communicating with God.

How do you listen to God? How have you encountered the Holy Spirit? What is your prayer life like? What do you think it means to discern God’s will? Who determines God’s will for your life?

Some further reading

In addition to The Practice of the Presence of God, I find this article helpful:

What does the bible say about communicating with God?

“Believers should constantly examine their communication. We should consider the tone of newer forms of communication such as email and text messaging. We should never allow the safety of a computer screen to lead us to harsh or ungodly words toward others. We should consider our body language and facial expressions toward others as well. Simply withholding words is meaningless when our body language communicates disdain, anger, or hatred toward another. When engaged in conversation, as we prepare to speak, we should ask ourselves these questions: it is true (Exodus 20:16)? Is it kind (Titus 3:2)? Is it necessary (Proverbs 11:22)?”

For the Church

Gracious Father, we pray for the holy Catholic Church. Fill it with with all truth, in all truth with all peace. Where it is corrupt, purify it; where it is in error, direct it; where in any thing it is amiss, reform it. Where it is right, strengthen it.; where it is in want, provide for it; where it is divided, reunite it, for the sake of Jesus Christ your Son our Savior. Amen.

For Our Enemies

O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth; deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty and revenge; and in your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

For the Unity of the Church

O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, our only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may all be of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

And here is one more from The Paraclete Psalter:

Eternal and omnipotent God,

you have called us to be members of one body.

Join us with those who in all times and places have praised your name,

that with one heart and mind, we may show the unity of your church,

and bring honor to our Lord and Savior.

We ask this through the same Jesus Christ, your Son,

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God, forever and ever. Amen.

Jail, Judgment and Hell. When I went to the jail to visit him, I saw the secure high walls, countless security measures and armed policemen. It was a gloomy, depressing and hellish atmosphere. It made my already heavy heart heavier. Despite prison breaks in movies, the reality and likelihood of breaking out of jail is virtually nil. I felt very sorry that if he is found guilty, he would spend significant time in jail in the prime of his life. It made me think of the finality of hell for those who fall on the wrong side of God’s judgment on the Final Day.

Jail is Temporary, but Hell is Permanent and Forever. Going to the jail just to visit was extremely depressing. There is a strong feel of gloom, doom, wrath and judgment. It is surely a deterrent. As unpleasant as jail is, hell would be infinitely worse. To speculate and contemplate on the finality and eternality of hell was extremely sobering. It is good for my soul. It brought to the forefront of my heart and mind the utmost importance of missions and for reaching the lost and equipping the saved. It prompted me to pray for those I know and love who do not know the assurance of eternal life through Christ.

Brokenness and Sorrow. Most of all, I felt so broken-hearted for him. This is not at all to minimize the unspeakable and inexcusable trauma caused to the woman he allegedly sexually assaulted. She is the victim. He is responsible for that. If found guilty, an adequate judgment needs to be pronounced. But knowing the dysfunctional details of his life through 2 years of Bible study and friendship, I know that he too is a victim. He works out regularly and carries himself with a tough exterior. But seeing him in jail, his toughness was completely gone. He was softened and humbled. For the first time he thanked me for studying the Bible with him, and for being a father figure to him. I pray for him that through this event, Jesus may be the Joy, Treasure and Delight of his heart (Ps 37:4).

But I have to admit that something in my heart went against it. It was my past experience. I distinctly remember making the decision several times to be like Daniel and to pray three times a day. But I can probably count on one hand the number of times I actually managed to do so. Failure upon embarrassing failure. Couple years ago, I would have preached to myself: “overcome your past experience and obey.” But I cannot anymore.

Andrew Murray, in one of his books on prayer, points out that prayerlessness is a sin just as stealing or lust is a sin. After all, a person who doesn’t pray is practically expressing his unbelief and distrust in a loving and caring God. And as we cannot simply break with sin, especially habitual sins, we cannot easily break with the sin of prayerlessness. It takes God’s power to change.

What I therefore realized is that change is not just about doing the right thing (i.e. praying three times a day). Rather, I first have to become the person who does the right thing: a person who loves to pray, who loves to spend time with his heavenly father and who has the necessary grace-driven discipline to seek God’s face in times when the desire to do so reaches a low. And this makes a huge difference.

Here is why I personally would refrain from applications such as “Be like Daniel and pray three times!” If this is done mechanically and done for the wrong motives, we have become merely religious people, not Christ-centered people. In addition, if we are able to bring up the discipline to obey (which is a crushingly hard thing to do) and consequently become the people who are able to pray three times by our own effort, we have an identity problem: we are back to defining who we are by what we accomplish and are thus no different from how the world defines people.

As Tim Keller pointed out, the gospel narrative tells us that we stop defining ourselves by what we do. Rather our identity stems from what Christ has done for us. Defining ourselves by our accomplishments leads to self-righteousness and pride if we are successful in achieving our aims by our own efforts. Or we’ll end up with inferiority complexes and deep frustrations if we fail. We either beat up others or we beat up ourselves or we go back and forth. (I thank Tim Keller for the words). Conversely, the gospel narrative is the only way that can make us truly humble because every good thing happening in and through us is by God’s grace. And it can make us truly bold because God’s grace elevates us and gives us a status of worth, which truly is beyond this world: to be called God’s children.

The story of Daniel is that he prayed, that he was put into the lion’s den and miraculously saved by an angel of God. He escaped the lions unharmed. But Daniel’s story points to a much greater and even more marvelous story. Years later, there was another man greatly beloved who prayed three times, with tears, sweating and blood. Like Daniel, he was thrown into a lion’s den as Psalm 22 says: “Roaring lions tearing their prey open their mouths wide against me.” But this time, there was no angel to save. On the cross, Jesus was literally overpowered and his bones were crushed. This, in fact, is how Jesus bore my sin of disinterest in God, my vain confidence in myself, and my lack of spirituality and discipline, all expressed in prayerlessness.

I am back to the question of how I can become the person who loves to pray and who is unceasing in prayer. Only when I look at the Lamb of God and when I realize that the person whose prayer life was faultless went into the lion’s den to pay for my failures. He is the Lord who has always loved me now lives in me through his Holy Spirit. This is the starting point for my sanctification process towards a life of unceasing communion with God.

May God help me.

I would like to direct you to a good talk by Sinclair Ferguson (1948 – ).  He is a Scottish preacher from Glasgow, but now serves in South Carolina.  He’s a very good preacher.  I have listened to his series on Ephesians, James and 2 Timothy numerous times (they’re available at firstprescolumbia.org and sermonaudio.com).  John Piper, when asked who is the preacher he’d sit under, if he were not a church pastor himself, mentioned Sinclair Ferguson at once.  And Hughes Oliphant Old in his monumental 7-volume work wrote the following about Sinclair Ferguson:

“As I have said several times, I am not in the business of handing out the senior preaching prize, but there is no denying it—the preaching of Sinclair Ferguson is exemplary no matter on which side of the Atlantic one considers the question.”

In my experience, Sinclair Ferguson is not a rock-star preacher like John Piper at all.  He’s got a lovely Scottish accent, he is not loud, but is full of worship in preaching, and very serious.  He also wrote a number of good books published by Banner of Truth Trust and other publishing houses (most recent titles are “In Christ Alone” and “By Grace Alone”).

I first came to love this preacher because of the talk I’d like to point you to (and an interview with him by C.J. Mahaney).  And I also have a personal request for English-speaking brothers and sisters who could possibly help me transcribe these audios (2.5 hrs long, two parts) into text format.  Then I will translate them to Russian, for the edification of Russian ministers, too (not just in UBF).

Here is the link to the audios (please note that they were delivered in 2008, when Sinclair Ferguson became sixty):

“Preaching The Word. Reflections At Sixty – Part 1” by Sinclair B. Ferguson.

“Preaching The Word. Reflections At Sixty – Part 2” by Sinclair B. Ferguson.

If the links above don’t work, here is the master page:

Sinclair Ferguson audio master page

Even if you have no time to help with the transcript, please listen to this talk – it’s very good.  It’s not a mere autobiography, because you learn from a number of other good ministers, through Sinclair Ferguson’s spiritual lens.

When I asked older shepherds this question, I got different answers every time. Of course, I wholeheartedly shouted this prayer slogan every time Pastor Ron asked the congregation to do so. But in the back of my mind, there was a lingering question about what I was actually praying for.

One day, when I was a student at college, I approached a man who had set up a table and handing out tracts. When he gave me one of the tracts, it showed a very detailed graph of the “Church Age” and the “Millennium” and Israel etc. After a short conversation, I told him that my church always prays for America to be a Kingdom of Priests and a Holy Nation. It was almost like I had slapped him. He said, “What? That is not a good prayer! Israel is specifically called to be a Kingdom of Priests and a Holy Nation, NOT America!”

In response, I quoted for him 1 Peter 2:9-10: “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” Then I said, “Well, who is Peter talking about then?”

The man replied, “Sure, I’ll give it to you, Christians being the redeemed of God are indeed a chosen people, and there is a universal priesthood of the believer now. And in that way, all Christians are a ‘holy nation,’ as it were. But your prayer for America is misplaced. Don’t you know that God has always only saved a remnant? Don’t you know that narrow is the path to life and only a few find it? I think your heart is in the right place but your theology is wrong.”

I was taken aback. I had never thought of it that way before. I guess I had always assumed that every time we said that prayer, we were praying for America as a whole to be saved, or something to that effect. But is that the case? When UBFers pray this, is that what you mean? Are you asking for something that almost certainly won’t ever happen? Does this prayer mean that we want a “majority” of America to be saved or to become missionaries?

While I was talking with the man at my school, he told me that he was a Dispensationalist. At the time, I had absolutely no idea what that meant. I asked a Chucago UBF leader what a Dispensationalist was, and the leader shook his head and said something like, “Oh, Shepherd David, don’t talk to those people!” Of course, this only made me want to find out more about them.

Dispensationalism is a Christian theological system which is too complicated to explain in detail here. Suffice it to say, they believe that the physical nation of Israel, the Jews, still have a very important role in God’s current and future plans, both in terms of salvation history and the end times. To the Dispensationalist, the physical descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob — in other words, the people of Israel — are the ones for whom we should be praying to be a Kingdom of Priest and a Holy Nation, because that is what God says they would be for Him if they obeyed him fully and kept his covenant in Exodus 19. In fact. the whole quote from Exodus 19:5-6 says, “Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you (Israel) will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’ These are the words you are to speak to the Israelites.”

Indeed, that is why Paul says in Romans 11:13-15: “I am talking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch as I am the apostle to the Gentiles, I make much of my ministry in the hope that I may somehow arouse my own people to envy and save some of them. For if their rejection is the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead?” Paul goes on to give a most wonderful eschatological (end times) prophesy about Israel finally being saved at some point in the future, thus ultimately fulfilling God’s original intent for his chosen nation, that they would be a Kingdom of Priests and a Holy Nation.

I believe the following question is an important one for UBF: What does it mean for America to be “a Kingdom of Priests and a Holy Nation?” Are you applying the Covenant promises that God made to Israel to America, declaring America to be the new “Chosen Nation”? Is there an eschatological sense behind your application of Exodus 19:6? Is it just a slogan to encourage evangelism? Are you praying that everyone America will become Christian? If so, do you believe that it will actually happen?

If we repeat something every day, I think that it is crucial to know why. If the meaning of a prayer is not clear, then would it not be a good idea to stop repeating it until it is understood?

I do not wish to argue the merits or drawbacks of Dispensationalism. Rather, I am simply asking if you really know what you are praying. Jesus said in Matthew 6:7, “And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.” I am not accusing anyone else of doing this. Speaking for myself, I did pray, “May America be a Kingdom of Priests and a Holy Nation” over and over every day without having a clear idea of what I was actually asking for.

After having a good laugh, I thought: Isn’t this how we sometimes react to God’s answers to prayer? We pray and pray for something or someone, but don’t realize that God already gave us an answer. Sometimes I think God must be thinking, “What are these people doing? I answered them already!”. It is amazing that our God is a patient God.

This is also something I experienced in my practical life the past several months. Since coming to Detroit six years ago, I’ve been praying to find a stable job. A few months ago, I realized that God already gave me the means to find a stable job. There is a specific skillset I have that is quite rare among technology people. When I re-organized my jobsearch based on that skillset, my phone and email inbox were suddenly swamped with job possibilities. God had already answered my prayer; I just needed to take action with what I had. This is a major life lesson I’ve been learning in recent years. Be thankful for what I have and look to what God has already given me for answers.