Walking in the Shoes of the Other
Empathy. The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. I am blessed and cursed with empathy. It’s one of my top 5 strengths based on multiple personality tests. Empathy is a curse for me because I readily understand the feelings of other people but I have almost no ability to express those feelings. This drives my wife crazy and creates much agony for me. I am finding some relief however through writing books. Some have asked me why I don’t understand the views of the Korean missionaries and criticize them so much. Well, I only criticize after knowing how they feel and figuring out what I believe will help them. For 24 years I walked in the shoes of Korean missionaries. Then I started walking in the shoes of former members.
Today I would like to share with you the most impressive example of empathy I’ve yet come across. If I am blessed with empathy, then my new friend Timothy Kurek is doubly blessed. Timothy Kurek is the author of The Cross in the Closet. Recently he did a TedTalk. Please listen to his story of empathy as it is highly applicable to our UBF situation. Can you walk in the shoes of a former member?
Have the Conversation on LGBTQIA – Part 4
Here is my last part of the LGBTQIA conversation presentation. Even as I share these articles, my PowerPoints are changing, correcting and transforming. I plan to continue learning and refining my thoughts.
Have the Conversation on LGBTQIA – Part 3
Thousands of former members have noticed the oppression at UBF stemming from spiritual abuse. Hundreds have documented their stories publicly on the internet. A few have spoken up about the threats received when you disobey your Korean shepherd. I share with you now yet another layer of oppression at UBF. If you are not cisgender and heterosexual, you have another layer of burden to deal with. The clear UBF teaching on homosexuality is that such people are not merely immoral, but are like swine flu, spreading throughout the world. Gender and sexual minorities are spoken against at UBF as the harbingers of the end of the world and destroyers of society. I seek to have the conversation however. Here is part 3, which I have completely changed after learning about Alan Turing.
Have the Conversation on LGBTQIA – Part 2
I plan to continue sharing each summary. Feel free to jump in at any time. I hope to share my reactions to questions posed to me from time to time by people of the non-affirming conscience. Whenever I say “God is love”, the response is often, “But God is holy.” The non-affirming conscience rightly concerns about the holiness of God. Are we disobeying God? What is God up to? Is there any possibility that God could be doing a new thing among gender and sexual minorities?
Have the Conversation on LGBTQIA – Part 1
The defining question of the church in our generation, like it or not, has become this: What is your view on homosexuality? So instead of pretending this question is resolved or superficial or even clear-cut, I and others have been working to “have the conversation”. Today I want to begin sharing the outline of my four-part presentation that I developed as a result of attending the Reformation Project Leadership cohort in Washington D.C., led by Matthew Vines. This conversation is difficult to have in many churches because the topic of homosexuality lies at a somewhat odd and often dismissed intersection of sexuality and the gospel. Here is part 1 of my presentation, the introduction.
Defiance
Today is Independence Day here in the USA. It seems to be the most somber 4th of July I can remember. Quite a few people are exhausted from the culture war that was just concluded by the Supreme Court (SCOTUS) decision. For me, the 4th of July holds special significance, and will always invoke great celebration for me! July 4th marks my personal day of independence from UBF. Here are some thoughts to mark the day I felt like a mighty eagle soaring above the mountains.
My 7th Book
The recent Christianity Today book review of a UBF 2nd gen’s book “The Spirit Moves West” prompted me to get back to a book draft of my own. Rebecca Kim’s book is a fair perspective of some aspects of UBF, but she leaves out the dark side of UBF–the side that we’ve been discussing here in our 18,000+ comments. So today I want to share with our readers some of my thoughts on the CT book review and my new book.
Meaning, Application, Message
For those interested, I would really like to have more theology related discussions here. I have been learning that a robust and helpful understanding of the Bible is rooted in exegesis, hermeneutics and homiletics (i.e. meaning, application, message). So for today’s Sunday musing, I’d like to share some quotes from my new book and ask: How do you approach the Bible?
The Blessed Life
Because I have found myself in the unofficial, unsanctioned exit counselor role for ubf, people from ubf have contacted me for help at the rate of once per month. From January 2014 until now, exactly 17 people have reached out to me for some sort of assistance in processing their ubf lifestyle. One of the most comon themes is that ubf shepherds tell them that leaving ubf will bring about God’s curse, or at least will mean not having God’s blessing. The teaching is that if you stay you will be blessed, if you leave you lose that blessing. This is such a traumatic issue to deal with that many have been distraught. One young woman who contacted me last year was so depressed over this issue that she had thoughts of suicide and was seeking professional psychology help. She is much better now thanks to the mercy of many people. So today I want to share how blessed my life is after leaving ubf. I share these things not to brag, but to demonstrate my life as living proof that leaving ubf does not equate to losing God’s blessing. If anything, the norm I have seen from those who reach out to me is that after an initial period of turmoil, their lives become notably more blessed.
Memorial Day 2015
Memorial Day in the United States is a day of remembering the men and women who gave their lives defending freedom. It is a day of somber remembrance and gratitude. For me, Memorial Day has come to have new meaning. After leaving ubf, I remembered former members discussing the suicides of ubf members. I decided to do my own research, especially about the suicide at Chicago ubf in 2005. I found L-Train reports and discovered that indeed, the former members were correct. There was a suicide in 2005. So I decided to dedicate Memorial Day with an additional meaning–a day of remembering those who chose suicide in the midst of their problems and the burdens placed on them by the ubf lifestyle.
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