Meanwhile, enjoy this first comment from Ben (which is the 2nd comment ever on ubfriends!)

Ben Toh (2010-06-25 16:17:39)
“Hi Joe, You Be Friends is cute”

If you have ideas for the what and how and why of ubfriends, please let us know!  Thank you and have a burden-free weekend!

What? You thought this website would stay the same forever? We must protect our heritage!

Ok on a slightly more serious note, we have created a large volume of comments and articles in just over 5 years. I made an ebook of all ubfriends articles and comments–and discovered the book is over 4,700 pages long! If we published the ubfriends ebook, it would be nearly 10,000 printed pages.

How big is that? Well the Encyclopædia Britannica, short edition, is 12 volumes of about a thousand pages each–12,000 pages. That means our little-blog-that-could nearly generated an entire encyclopedia of information.

So here it is, the encyclopedia edition of ubfriends. Grab a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoy!

http://www.ubfriends.org/ubfriends-blogbook.pdf

I found this blogbook format to be useful for reading and very helpful for searching for keywords and phrases.

While we make some technology and content changes here, please share anything you would like us to know in the comments. Have our articles impacted you in a positive or negative way? What topics would you like to discuss? Do we need to continue providing an outlet for people to process the UBF lifestyle?

Steven Hassan and Brian Karcher discuss various topics from Steven’s book “Combating Cult Mind Control” and Brian’s book “Identity Snatchers”.

freedomofmind.com//Media/CCMC25.php

Steven A. Hassan, M.Ed., LMHC, NCC is a former cult member who has been educating the public about mind control and destructive cults since 1976. As a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC) and Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), Hassan is the author three books that have received extensive praise from former cult members, families of former members, clergy, cult experts, and psychologists. Combating Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best Selling Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults(1988, 1990, 2015), Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves(2000), and Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults & Beliefs, (2012, 2013). He also co-developed “Ending the Game”, a non-coercive curriculum designed to educate and empower commercial sex trafficking victims.

He has appeared on 60 Minutes, CNN, NPR, Good Morning America, The Today Show, Larry King Live, Oprah, Dr. Drew, Dr. Phil, and many other programs, and has been featured in People Magazine, USA Today, Newsweek, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Chicago Tribune, The Guardian, and dozens of other major publications and websites. Learn more about him and the Freedom of Mind Resource Center, Inc. at FreedomOfMind.com

Hassan – Karcher 2015 – Interview University Bible Fellowship (UBF) from Brian John Karcher on Vimeo.

Books

	Combating Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best-Selling Guide to Protection, Rescue and Recovery from Destructive Cults
	Identity Snatchers: Exposing a Korean Campus Bible Cult

]]> http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/10/14/steven-hassan-interview/feed/ 20 http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/10/13/im-praying-for-you/ http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/10/13/im-praying-for-you/#comments Tue, 13 Oct 2015 13:16:13 +0000 http://www.ubfriends.org/?p=9684 The words haunt me. Ever since my name showed up on the Sunday announcements as someone “struggling and in need of prayers”, the words are a shower of bitterness to me. I realized this week such feelings are valid because “praying for you to change” is not a healthy prayer and has little if anything to do with Christ. How do you know the way I should act or think or feel or change? After MJ’s articles this week about right being wrong and overcoming the “I’m sorry syndrome”, I stumbled across a rather striking contradiction: When can prayer be wrong?

Red Flag: Praying for others to change

In some online discussions with former ubf members this week, I realized that prayer is taught by ubf teachers as a tool for change. We almost always exclusively prayed for the nation to change, for sheep to change, for some other country to change, for our children to change, etc. We always said “I’m praying for you” with the sentiment of “You need to change somehow”.

So many times the prayers of ubf shepherds are about pointing out sins in their sheep. How many remember sitting through a long prayer session where people prayed about your sins and how much you need to change?

Yet when did Jesus ever call a prayer meeting to change people or the nations? Do we see any evidence that Christian prayer is to be focused on changing something in other people?

I now see this kind of prayer as a red flag of spiritual abuse. If ubfers are praying for us former members to “repent” or “come back to our senses” then it is wasted effort. In the same way, if we ex-ubfers are praying for missionaries to change or to publicly repent or for ubf to be destroyed, then it is also wasted effort. Such prayers are not of Christ, in my belief.

How should we pray?

Jesus taught about prayer several times. The most famous is of course the Lord’s Prayer. How does the prayer begin?

Prayer, as Jesus taught it, is about the glory of God, not about changing people.

Prayer is about God doing his will and bringing about his kingdom, not about changing a nation to be holy.

Prayer is about raising the awareness of our collective needs, not about reminding Bible students of their sins.

Prayer is about forgiving people, not about changing people.

Prayer is about discerning God’s leading and listening for God’s voice, not about submitting to your shepherd’s ideas and plans for your life.

So the next time you hear someone at ubf “pray for you”, remember this is a red flag of cult control. This form of spiritual abuse is something that must end. Prayer is a wonderful gift, not something to be abused as a tool of manipulation.

Who is Steven Hassan?

For anyone unfamiliar with Hassan or his work, here are some highlights.

Mr. Hassan was deceptively recruited into Sun Myung Moon’s Unification Church at the age of 19, while a student at Queens College. He spent the next 27 months recruiting and indoctrinating new members, fundraising, and doing political campaigning. He personally met with Sun Myung Moon on many occasions in leadership sessions. Mr. Hassan ultimately rose to the rank of Assistant Director of the Unification Church at National Headquarters.

He is an accomplished author, counselor and respected expert in the field of undue influence and religious control. Here are his major accomplishments:

• BITE model – determining and identifying cult control
• Strategic Interactive Approach – addressing cult control
• Ending the Game – program for educating sex trafficking victims
• Lectures – given at Harvard University, U.C.L.A., Yale University, Stanford University, John Hopkins University, M.I.T, Hong Kong University, American Psychological Association Convention (2001), American Psychological Association Eastern Regional Convention (2001), The American Counseling Association National Convention, The American Bar Association’s Conference on Tort and Religion
• Media coverage – With almost 40 years of cult awareness activism, Hassan’s insightful perspective and expert commentary have made him the definitive source for hundreds of national and international media outlets including: 60 Minutes, CNN, Fox News, Good Morning America, Larry King Live, Los Angeles Times, New York Times, Newsweek, Night Line, NPR, Oprah Winfrey Show, The O’Reilly Factor, The Today Show, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Washington Post.
• Freedom of Mind Resource Center Inc. – founded by Hassan, it is a consulting and publishing organization dedicated to helping people to become psychologically empowered, upholding human rights, promoting consumer awareness and exposing abuses of destructive cult groups.

Rooted in the Best

The praise for Hassan’s work is lengthy. Here is what the late Dr. Singer had to say about his book Combating Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best Selling Guide To Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults. 

“…A major contribution…For the first time, a skilled and ethical exit counselor has spelled out the details of the complicated yet understandable process of helping free a human being from the bondage of mental manipulation…..Steven Hassan has written a ‘how to do something about it’ book.”

–Margaret Singer, Ph.D., Department of Psychology, University of California, Berkeley

Telling his own story

The book begins with a look into Hassan’s life as a college student being recruited into the Moonie organization. For me this was both difficult and fascinating to read. It was as if I was stepping back in time, back to 1987 in my own life and my own recruitment into a different Korean Bible organization. It was uncanny how much of what Hassan told of his own story mirrored my experience.

Affirming the current problem

Hassan does a really good job in this 25th anniversary edition of explaining how and why his work is so much needed. The number of cults in America has not dwindled, but in fact has exploded. The sad aspect, as Hassan recounts it, is that many do not know the Moonies or think they are no longer active. Most of the public does not remember Jonestown. This book was eye-opening.

Telling other’s stories

Hassan moves on to tell a few survivor stories. These also brought back memories for me, but not as much as Hassan’s own story. This is because there are many types of cults, and the Korean Bible groups like the Unification Church and UBF are unique in their undue influence. Hassan places a lot of weight on former member stories, especially those of longtime insiders.

Solutions, help and hope

Hassan spends at least half the book telling about how to find help, how to approach loved ones and giving solutions both practical and spiritual in nature. Hassan himself is Jewish, and regained his faith after leaving the Moon group. This was important to me, as I determined not to lose my Christian faith after leaving UBF.

In short, all UBF people really should read Combating Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best Selling Guide To Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults. 

As Hassan suggests, please read his book as if he is talking about a group you know is a cult, like ISIS. Then re-read it a second time, questioning whether you are in a cult or not. This second reading often tells people they are not in a cult.

Other ubfriends articles on Hassan’s work:

Book Review: Freedom of Mind

The BITE Model

1. They both want to build an Empire called America

Trump’s hat says “Make America Great Again”. His platform seems to be just that–make American great! Build a wall and make Mexicans pay for it! His speeches I’ve heard are rather inspiring. It is easy to get swept up in his in-your-face boldness.

In fact, Trump gives voice to things most won’t say. While I appreciate this trait of Trump’s character, I can’t support his manic, over-the-top rhetoric. I can however see how many in the religious right love him. They want to build an empire called America too. And if they can piggy-back on a man like Trump, they will. The religious right has turned the church into a machine powered by a kind of empire-building gospel meant to counteract the evil society around them. And both of them seem to be at war.

2. They both read the Bible Pathologically

Recently Trump said how much he loves the Bible and how good the Bible is. He says the Bible just keeps getting better the more you read it. Then he said he loves that great Bible passage about “never bending to envy”. I don’t know what Bible Trump is reading. Perhaps he is alluding to Proverbs 23:17? Maybe he is referring to the TBT (Trump Bible Translation)? Or is he recalling Dante’s Divine Comedy…

“Whereby, so sweetly Love burns in us, poured By live Justice, that we could never bend To any envy, or malice untoward.”

The problem is that Trump is not someone who thinks about what the Bible is saying. Nor is he someone you would look to in order to process the Bible. He just says the Bible is sooo good.

This sounds to me like the religious right. I have had too many encounters online in social media with Evangelical conservatives who do the same thing as Trump. They idolize the Bible but do not process what the texts say. The common mantra is “The Bible says it, end of story.” I’ve had several online conversations where I respond by quoting the Bible, without the verses. I am then told how unbiblical my words are… Pathological thinking cannot see itself. Pathological thought does not see itself, cannot see itself, and cannot see other types of thought. Trump and the religious right have this in common.

3. They both depend on Money

Trump’s empire is all about making money. He is successful. His platform seems to me to be entirely based on his business success. The religious right also depends on money–offering money. The churches they have built would collapse if there were no offerings. One prime example is the Billy Graham Association. Franklin Graham (Billy’s son) has made millions.

Thoughts? Questions? Criticisms?

What Guy taught us is that we should not be afraid of seeing our work be used in ways we never intended. He said you should be so lucky if someone buys your product and uses it for all the unintended reasons. His example is of course the Mac. He and Jobs and the Mac team intended the Mac to be a spreadsheet processor. But nobody used it for that. Instead, they used it for desktop publishing and artwork. He mentioned that a business might be tempted to get upset because they lost control over their product. Instead, Guy urges us to accept such things and embrace the success. Like Jobs, Guy says “Go dent the universe!” He teaches us to let the flowers blossom where they blossom, and let your creations grow and take on their own life. In the Christian sense, the message is this: You are not in control of your ministry, the Holy Spirit is.

How the purpose of ubfriends changed

Guy’s advice helps me embrace what ubfriends has become, instead of trying to control it. When I helped start ubfriends with Joe and a couple others, we were both pro-UBF and had a very specific idea about what we wanted to accomplish. We thought UBF could be reformed. For example consider this quote from our About page:

This website is not intended to promote or denigrate UBF or any organization. Our purpose is to serve people by giving them an independent forum to learn, to think, and to express themselves in a healthy and friendly manner. We hope that this website will foster multi-way conversations among friends, open new channels of communication and friendships among people of different ages and backgrounds, overcoming prejudice and stereotypes, help members of UBF develop stronger connections to the broader Christian community, and help us to see multiple sides of difficult issues and truly learn from one another, even when we do not agree.

We had hoped to discuss Christian theology and bring real change and reform to the UBF group.

That all changed because what has been revealed is that the foundations of the group are in shambles. Like an old house that cannot be repaired and must be torn down, we uncovered the failed theology called UBFism that cannot be repaired. UBFism is hindering all of us from seeing the all-surpassing gospel Jesus preached.

Over time, many different kinds of flowers blossomed here on this website.

Why must UBF be redeemed and not reformed?

Many hundreds of people over many decades from many cultures, including Korea, have attempted to reform UBF. It has not worked. The business model is fundamentally flawed, as Joe pointed out recently. Furthermore, UBFism is a theology that needs to be deconstructed and exposed as harmful.

This week I have extra time to ponder all these things. It has been an eye-opening week too, as I have had more people reach out to me and share confirmations of abuses. Some UBF leaders should be in jail for not reporting such abuse. This denial of abuse is the main reason I say UBF cannot just be changed or reformed, but must be stopped so that redemption can begin.

Here are the topics numerous people were talking about on social media this week:

– An older Korean missionary has routinely slept with his daughter.
– An American shepherd regularly molested children at CBF.
– A student regularly molested children and then was appointed to lead children’s singing.
– An American shepherd was made to live in a one room apartment with only a small window in order to kill off his worldly desires.
– An American shepherd was sick and kept at home with an IV instead of going to the emergency room.
– A Korean missionary died at a UBF center and they prayed instead of calling 911.
– Some 2nd gens are locked in their rooms after they partied too much and got drunk.

When will it stop? Will you speak up? 

Here are some examples of what I am trying to say, from our previous articles. In order to see many flowers grow and blossom, UBFism must be stopped and deconstructed:

Here is my bluntly worded article:
http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/05/08/it-must-come-to-an-end/

Here is Joe’s nicely worded article with John Amstrong’s input:
http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/05/09/john-armstrong-on-knowing-when-to-stop/

Here is Ben’s good article, in Ben Toh’s ubf-friendly style:
http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/11/09/why-churches-stop-growing/

So people can pick which “tone” they like, but in regard to this topic Ben, Joe and I are on the same page, even though we arrive from different viewpoints.

Over a year ago, I wrote a provocative article here on ubfriends, entitled Shepherd Brian is Dead. It is an unfortunate reality that in order to have any kind of conversation with UBF members, I need to use such rhetoric. Dropping the C-bomb (as Joe likes to call it) is the only way I have found that leads to some honest, real answers about the UBF ministry. In my article last year, I wrote this:

“Why do I claim University Bible Fellowship is a cult? The answer is because ubf shepherds and missionaries are identity snatchers. They spiritually abused me and thousands others by stealing our identity and persuading us to adopt their identity. That identity was called “Shepherd Brian”. But that is not who I am. That was never who I was. That is not my authentic self.”

That comment about identity snatching stuck with me. It has now lead to my new book.

Giving credit

I am eternally thankful for the input from numerous current and former UBF members, especially Ben, Joe, Zoe, Charles, David, Maria and Chris (well ok not eternally… just thankful!). They were a good sounding board and helped shape this book well beyond my original ideas. Without their input, this would have been a really dark, scary book! But because of their criticism and honest feedback, the book is much brighter and hopeful.

The stories in my book are not only about deconstructing UBFism, but also about redemption. The stories are another major step in my own journey of recovering my identity.

Feedback

Dr. Steve Hassan and Dr. Ronald Enroth both appreciated my book, but are busy until later this year. I hope to add their endorsements later on. Here is some of the feedback I did receive on this project so far:

“This book is part of a critical examination of University Bible Fellowship. It gives insight into the structures and methods of this controversial group that’s work is focused on students.”
—Dr. Reinhard Hempelmann, Director of the Protestant Centre of Religious and Ideological Issues, Berlin Germany

“I am really glad to know of your book project! It is greatly needed. I don’t know of any books that cover University Bible Fellowship in depth.”
–Larry Pile, Counselor at Wellspring Retreat and Counseling Center, Athens Ohio, USA

“How can we support you? I want this book to be written.”
–Former member

“Amen. This book is needed. I pray God uses it to bring liberation to those still trapped in UBF and healing to families and the body of Christ.”
–Former member

“I think the book is so important to show that processing UBF is not about criticizing them mainly but about becoming happy, healthy, and whole again.”
–Former member

“Wow, awesome so far! I am going to share this book with everyone.”
–Former member

Links to my new book

As always, my books are free on Kindle with Amazon Prime and have the Amazon lending feature enabled, as well as the Amazon MatchBook enabled. I also tend to give free paperback copies to anyone willing to help promote the book via blog reviews. Content on the free online companion will be added in the coming months.

Identity Snatchers – Paperback Edition

Identity Snatchers – Kindle Edition

Free online companion – restunleashed.org

Life is scripted!

We all know how much time is spent week after week writing testimonies, rebuking sheep and answering those question sheets.

Save tons of time!

Are you looking to save loads of time each week? Well look no further. The ubferator will save shepherds so much time!

Need a testimony in a jiffy?

Just enter a few keywords and presto! You have a life testimony!

Need a rebuke?

Try out the one and only rebukerator!

No time to answer that question sheet?

No problem! Just enter your passage and wa-la!

Disclaimer:
The ubfeator links above may earn you severe dead dog training. Use at your own risk. The ubferator has also been known to cause intense abdominal pain from laughing too hard. Please use with caution. If you experience laughter lasting more than four hours, please call your doctor.

First, to celebrate the new semester, all three of my books that detail my journey of recovery from UBFism are FREE on Kindle this week, from 9/1 to 9/5.

Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives – FREE
Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives – FREE
Unexpected Christianity: The Penguin Narratives – FREE

Second, my new book, Identity Snatchers, is being published this weekend! I want to express my gratitude for numerous former and current members who helped shape this book. The book is my attempt to deconstruct UBFism and to redeem my personal identity.

Third, here is an incredibly accurate song that I like to listen to when school starts. This song says what I want to say to all ubf shepherds as the new semester begins:

You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
You swear you know best

But you expect me to
Jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost
With no direction oh
But you’ll never see

You’re so busy makin’ maps
With my name on them in all caps
You’ve got the talkin’ down
Just not the listening

All my life
I’ve tried
To make everybody happy while I
Just hurt
And hide
Waitin’ for someone to tell me it’s my turn
To decide.

Who made you king of anything?

Top 10 Things to Say to your Shepherd

In my experience and observation, these are the statements that will tell you right away if you are dealing with Christian pastors. I have said most of these things (so be careful about where this will take you). There really are some traits ubf leaders do not like.

As I continue refining the final draft of my latest book, I claim that ubf is a Korean Bible cult and has much confusion about their organizational identity. Of course not all ubf chapters are cultic. But my list of redeemed chapters is very short. In fact only Westloop Church is on the list because there is no Penn State ubf that I know of and I have not personally confirmed Waterloo ubf as being redeemed.

So then, drum roll please…here are some statements to share repeatedly to find out if you are in a Christian ministry or you are getting junk food from the pulpit on the altar (well at ubf the pulpit is called the lectern and the altar is called the stage).

10. The Holy Spirit is my shepherd, my teacher and my counselor.

9. What is the gospel?

8. The best example of Jesus’ mission statement is in Luke 4 and John 17.

7. Pope Francis is a Christian.

6. The Holy Spirit prompted me to stop fishing *

5. I’m going to spend this Sunday with my parents.

4. I learned so much from Ben Toh and Joe Schafer’s articles on ubfriends.

3. I found my soulmate and we plan to get married in two years.

2. I’m taking a good job in another city doing what I love to do.

…and the number 1 thing to say to your shepherd:

1. I just read all of BrianK’s books.

[the drawing in this article is by my mother: www.yenserart.com]

* Number 6 would probably cause a Christian pastor to be confused. The word fishing is loaded language that only ubf insiders understand.

Today I would like to share with you the most impressive example of empathy I’ve yet come across. If I am blessed with empathy, then my new friend Timothy Kurek is doubly blessed. Timothy Kurek is the author of The Cross in the Closet. Recently he did a TedTalk. Please listen to his story of empathy as it is highly applicable to our UBF situation. Can you walk in the shoes of a former member?

TedTalk: Walking in the Shoes of the Other

You simply have to listen to what Timothy says at 9:55.

Timothy shares about the commonality of humanity. We are all born oblivious to social labels and lived as babies without fear. He asks: Can we re-learn intentional empathy? Timothy thinks so. He shares his own story of intentional empathy, and his amazing experiences with social labels.

How did the Christians in Timothy’s life respond to his intentional empathy? Silence. The silence was overwhelming. The Christians in his life treated him as if he did not exist.

Former member of ubf ought to be able to relate to this. After we left, we became dead to the ministry and had to endure madding silence.

So I ask again. Can you walk in the shoes of the other?

A Quick Recap

In my Part 1, my opening article, I shared that I would address three concerns that non-affirming Christians have posed to me. I agree with their concerns. Here is a summary of how I would address those concerns.

a) The non-affirming conscience rightly concerns about the holiness of God. Are we disobeying God? What is God up to?

My response: In Part 2, I shared that I see God at work in the “gay debates” in three ways: The disarming of religious authorities, the unleashing of freedom (break every enslavement) and the deconstruction of male-dominated patriarchy. I shared what I experienced from worshipping and interacting with LGBTQIA people. I did not see the holiness of God being violated by affirming these people and their desire to get married. Instead, I have seen a more robust examination of the gospel, a restoration of purpose for the church, an excitement about life and several gifts, which include a better understanding of holiness.

b) The non-affirming conscience rightly concerns about our children. Are we setting a bad example? How do we break through the hostility?

My response: In Part 3, I shared the stories and history about Alan Turing, and his royal pardon by the Queen of England decades after his death. The Queen’s affirming stance toward Turing is a positive example of setting a good example. One way to break through the hostility is with empathy, going beyond the right vs wrong arguments. It will indeed take decades to sort out what’s been happening. My hope is that the church can have enough compassion to listen and to step back and see the bad example and injustice that has been done to gender and sexual minorities.

c) The non-affirming conscience rightly concerns about immorality. Are we on a slippery slope? What restraint do we have?

Here is my response, Part 4.

Some Questions

Is it possible to maintain moral fortitude, gospel consistency and also affirm same-sex marriage? My contention is yes. Many theologians, such as Richard B. Hays, have left this door open. Matthew Vines, David Gushee, Jim Brownson and the other Reformation Project activists are going through that door.

Some ask: Aren’t you on a slippery slope? What’s next, a man marrying his teddy bear? My first answer is yes, we my indeed be on a slippery slope. However, are we not supposed to live by faith? Does not our Lord call us to go and brave the slippery slope?

Some Actions I Do Not Affirm

When I say I am “affirming” I need to point out that I do not affirm the following:

• I do not affirm abuse of others with sex
• I do not affirm excess of sexual activity or promiscuity
• I do not affirm rape, prostitution or pedophilia
• I do not affirm adultery, polygamy or incest
• I do not affirm revising Scripture

Some Actions I Do Affirm

What then, specifically do I affirm when I claim to be “affirming”?

• Celibacy as a gift for some
• Faithful kinship bonds between two people
• Civil debate and disagreement
• Revisiting, rereading and reassessing Scripture
• Love

How do we have moral restraint?

One of my contentions is that Gentile Christians do not live under the supervision of the moral codes in the Old Covenant. Hebrews 8 is the primary source of this contention. The Old Covenant is obsolete. We are no longer under the law. I see the Bible teaching us three ways Christians have moral restraint. It is my belief that such things give the church confidence to navigate the sexual landscape in an affirming manner.

• The power of the Holy Spirit
• The guidance of love and justice
• The wisdom of hermeneutics

The Redemptive Movement Hermeneutic

I want to briefly introduce a hermeneutical approach to reading the Bible developed by a man named William Webb. He used his own principles to arrive at a non-affirming stance toward LGBTQIA people. However, when you study his own work, you can find shortcomings in his application of his own hermeneutic. If he applied his own work more objectively, he would actually arrive at a far more affirming stance toward LGBTQIA people.

Webb’s work has received much criticism from both sides. Affirming people disagree with his conclusions about homosexuals. Non-affirming people disagree with his approach, because he pushes the boundaries of “Biblical authority”.

In my armchair theologian mind however, Webb’s approach is brilliant and gives a good starting framework to speak intelligently about the Bible in various contexts.

The core principle of Webb’s hermeneutic is called the X>Y>Z principle.

“Within the model, the central position (Y) stands for where the isolated words of the Bible are in their development of a subject. Then, on either side of the biblical text, one must ask the question of perspective: What is my understanding of the biblical text, if I am looking from the perspective of the original culture (X)? Also, what does the biblical text look like from our contemporary culture, where it happens to reflect a better social ethic-one closer to an ultimate ethic (Z) than to the ethic revealed in the isolated words of the biblical text?”

William Webb: “Slaves, Women, and Homosexuals: Exploring the Hermeneutics of Cultural Analysis”, pg 31

Further reading:

As Easy as X-Y-Z

The Evangelical Theologian and William Webb’s Redemptive-Movement Hermeneutic: A Theological Analysis

The Imitation Game

A Royal Pardon in 2013 for Turing

Alan Turing holds a special place in my life, since I am a computer engineer. My entire livelihood is due in large part to Turing’s mathematical genius. Today I learned more of his story and read about an amazing act of mercy that occurred in 2013.

Alan Turing was convicted of homosexuality in 1952 in Great Britain. Yes that’s right. To be gay in England just 50+ years ago was a crime. The punishment was 2 years in prison or castration by chemicals. Turing chose the chemicals. He committed suicide not long after (His cause of death is still up for debate however).

“Society didn’t understand Alan Turing or his ideas on many levels but that was a reflection on us, not on him – and it has taken us 60 years to catch up.”

Human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell said: “I pay tribute to the government for ensuring Alan Turing has a royal pardon at last but I do think it’s very wrong that other men convicted of exactly the same offence are not even being given an apology, let alone a royal pardon.
“We’re talking about at least 50,000 other men who were convicted of the same offence, of so-called gross indecency, which is simply a sexual act between men with consent.”

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-25495315

I plan to continue sharing each summary. Feel free to jump in at any time. I hope to share my reactions to questions posed to me from time to time by people of the non-affirming conscience. Whenever I say “God is love”, the response is often, “But God is holy.” The non-affirming conscience rightly concerns about the holiness of God. Are we disobeying God? What is God up to? Is there any possibility that God could be doing a new thing among gender and sexual minorities?

How do Christians navigate any change or issue?

When faced with new realities and cultural shifts, Christians begin and end with the gospel. Christians live as citizens of the kingdom of God. Christians face the facts of new realities with hope and compassion for the marginalized, and a passion for justice.

Christians look not only to the Bible but at least 2 other sources. Christians consider the prompting of the Holy Spirit, the lessons from Tradition, the human testimony of experience, and also sound, logical reasoning.

For example, how does a church react when an elderly couple asks to be blessed with the sacrament of marriage? Do they quote verses about “be fruitful”? Do they demand celibacy for the couple? For most churches, the answer is no, the couple would be allowed to marry even though there is no chance of children being born.

A word about holiness and obedience

To be holy is a valid Christian concern. To be holy is to be “set apart”. I would ask us to consider what we are set apart for? I contend that the holiness Jesus taught is very different from the holiness the Pharisees taught. Holiness is no longer about obeying a holiness code.

To be holy means to be willingly contaminated with the physical world, trusting that our heart and soul are kept pure by the hand of God.

Who is the most holy person you can think of? Mother Theresa is a common answer. She died September 5, 1997 in Kolkata, India. She is the one who lived her life in the contamination of the world, surrounded by the outcast. We seem to be so afraid of being physically or socially or spiritually contaminated that we avoid the very places that would strengthen our holiness and help bring about redemption to those around us. Jesus ate and drank with prostitutes. Does our idea of holiness allow us to do the same?

What new reality are we seeing?

Some have claimed we are seeing waves of sin and immorality and disobedience. Others claim we are in the end-times apocalypse. My contention is that we are seeing the kingdom of God coming to earth in a new wine fashion. I contend that we are seeing three reformations:

-The disarming of religious authorities
-The unleashing of freedom (break every enslavement)
-The deconstruction of male-dominated patriarchy

The “male and female” thread in the Bible

I contend further that we are seeing the binary wineskin of “male and female” bursting in society around us. People tend to quote Genesis 5:2 and point out that God created “male and female” in the beginning. I agree. I would point out that the end of the “male and female” thread in the Bible is Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” NIV.

Questions for discussion

Why is everything outside of “male and female” considered broken or disordered?

What does the bible condemn in regard to our modern, non-male/female term “homosexuality”?

In light of the male/female binary fading away, might we revisit the meaning of marriage?

How can we sustain “hate the sin, love the sinner”?

Should the church be the safest place to work this out?

How can we say that practicing homosexuality is any different from the desire of homosexuality?

Why I am fully affirming

Please note that I am NOT affirming gay sex orgies or immorality. I am ONLY affirming same-sex marriage. My claim is that sex is no longer sin in the confines of marriage.

I see three corrections gender and sexual minorities are already bringing to the church. This is the subject of my Lambhearted Lion book:

A more robust understanding of the gospel
-Move beyond atonement toward reconciliation
-Revisit Scripture without “male and female”

A restoration to the purpose of the church
-Are we sin police? Who is King? Who is Lord?

An excitement about philosophy and theology of life
-A gay Christian inspired me to return to church!

I also see three gifts gender and sexual minorities are already bringing to the church. This is the subject of my New Wine book:

The gift of heart
-Move toward courage, hope, compassion

The gift of holiness
-Deeper understanding of unity, conscience and purity

The gift of celebration
-All-surpassing joy of hospitality, marriage, celibacy

Our Purpose

I am not going to hide or filter my purpose in having these conversations. I and many others are working to develop a Bible-based, gospel-centered approach to gender and sexual minority inclusion in the Christian church. I realize this puts me outside the gates of the visible church, Christendom. My claim is that I am not outside the Christian faith by welcoming and including LGBTQIA people. I am referring specifically to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersexual and asexual people. Our inclusiveness however does not stop there. We believe our theology is a gospel-centered approach toward any and every oppressed people, especially those oppressed or outcast by the white, male-dominated hierarchy that has existed around the world for eons.

What I Affirm

In the LGBTQIA world, there are “affirmers”, those who affirm and welcome same-sex marriage and the genuine self-narratives of LGBTQIA people. And there are “non-affirmers”, those who do not affirm such things. We believe these terms are neutral, meaning these terms do not necessarily imply rightness or wrongness of either side. The terms merely acknowledge our differences and give us a starting, civil framework.

I think it is important to notice that both affirmers and non-affirmers can have some common Christian ground. For example, I affirm the following:

• Authority of Scripture
• Desire to please and obey God
• Value of moral fortitude
• Gratitude toward the church
• Love for all people

Where do we begin?

For me, the conversation about any social issue or human condition begins and ends with the gospel. The gospel is Jesus the Messiah. This is the best starting point, and really the only starting point I can find that has any chance of bringing about the unity Jesus expects from His followers. We know many facts about Jesus: His birth, life, suffering, death, resurrection, ascension and return. The good news is an announcement and proclamation that God has entered our world and is eager to live among us, both in bodily form 2,000 years ago and in the form of the Spirit now. When we read the Bible we see five key messages or results of this gospel: grace, glory, salvation, peace and the kingdom. We see the themes of the gospel at work: forgiveness, freedom, fulfillment, Love, reformation, reconciliation, repentance, justice and so forth. Any conversation about society, for Christians, centers around these gospel topics.

Meet some of the Reform Leaders

One of my goals in the presentation is to introduce people to some leading reformers who have some remarkable visions for the church. One of the most dynamic and effective leaders is Kathy Baldock. She lives in Nevada and created a wonderful “hiking ministry”, where she goes on hikes through the mountains.

I was fortunate to talk with Kathy during the cohort (and get a signed copy of her book!) What Kathy’s book brings to the table is the historical, medical and non-religious perspectives. This is so very important for the church to consider, in light of Galileo, left-handed people and interracial families. Her book is a great place to begin the conversation.

Book to begin with: “Walking the Bridgeless Canyon”

“If you read only one book on the history of LGBT rights, the culture, psychotherapy, religious reactions, and what the Bible really says about being gay, Walking the Bridgeless Canyon should be it. It is well-researched, compelling, and eye opening. If this book had existed when I became an anti-gay Christian activist, I would have questioned if what I was doing was truly Gods will or if it was nothing more than a man-made construct meant to maintain white heterosexual male dominance on the backs of gay people and women.”

–Yvette Cantu Schneider, former policy analyst at
Family Research Council, former director of women’s
ministry at Exodus International

Respect for Conscience

Can we make a deal? Those who do not affirm samesex marriage are not bigots or full of hatred automatically. Can we agree that those who do affirm samesex marriage are not going to hell automatically?

My hope is that starting with this handshake (no hatred/no hell), the church can be healed and move forward in a God-honoring manner. The next three parts of my presentation are the following:

Part 2: The non-affirming conscience rightly concerns about the holiness of God. Are we disobeying God? What is God up to?

Part 3: The non-affirming conscience rightly concerns about our children. Are we setting a bad example? How do we break through the hostility?

Part 4: The non-affirming conscience rightly concerns about immorality. Are we on a slippery slope? What restraint do we have?

How would you answer these questions? What thoughts do you have about this topic? I am sharing these presentations publicly in order to give some time for critical feedback and challenge to my thoughts.

On July 2nd, 2011 after several months of email wars with Korean missionaries and other UBF leaders, I finally had enough. I was sick of the dead dog isolation training that was supposed to be only six months but ended up being 8 years. After 8 years of “pioneering”, we were still a single family “house church”. There was no sign of any effort by any leader anywhere in ubfland to actually plant a Christian church. We were just supposed to come up with our own ambition and our own resources to build a ubf chapter.

When I attended the bizarre Toledo UBF Easter conference in April 2011 and heard the worst sermon ever on John 17, I realized I just had to get out of the ubf cult.

So when our family went to my hometown on Independence Day weekend in 2011, I decided to close our ubf “chapter” and resign from ubf. I come from a small country town in Ohio called Defiance. I sent my one sentence resignation email from my Mom’s house in Defiance with as much defiance as possible to over 200 ubfers. It felt SO very good! (Later my resignation earned me an honorable mention in the next ubf newsletter.)

The email wars escalated dramatically after closing our chapter permanently. I quickly revamped and repurposed my entire priestlynation blog.

So now instead of celebrating the glory of ubf, I stand my ground celebrate my independence from ubf. I don’t think people realized who they were messing with when they messed with a guy from Defiance. Four years later I am still on my fascinating and amazing journey of recovery. I love learning how to be a family-centered man, how to make my own decisions and how to let my emotions grow back in a healthy way.

Whether you stay or leave ubf is not the main issue. Whether you are free to speak, free to love and free to be your unique self is the main issue. What is your freedom story? Are you free to live your own life?

Thoughts on Rob Moll’s Book Review

Here is the book review if you have not seen it: Korean Evangelicals on Steroids

Moll correctly points out the hidden nature of the group. He had no idea the Chicago headquarters even existed.

“A couple times a week, a Korean man would approach me with a broad smile and invite me to study the Bible. I had no idea that he was among hundreds of Korean missionaries spanned across college campuses trying to win the country for Christ. I didn’t know that the headquarters for University Bible Fellowship (UBF)—Korea’s second largest missionary sending agency—was just a few miles away.”

Moll, like most of the public, did however know that the group has been seen as a cult.

“I did know that UBF was seen as intense and cult-like.”

Moll is first learning about the group from Rebecca Kim’s book. So he will have a rather good impression of the group because Kim’s book does not mention the reform movements or the abuse that has been covered up. Her book is more of an apologetic work.

” In her new study, The Spirit Moves West: Korean Missionaries in America, Kim, a Pepperdine University sociologist, describes the initial wave of UBF missionaries. Because that wave included her parents, Kim had both unique access to the group and a deeper understanding of the challenges of doing missions in America.”

Moll and Kim correctly point out the surface viewpoint of what is going on at the group. From a superficial view, UBF is merely a high demand group.

“UBF maintains high demands for its missionaries. They hold full-time jobs rather than receive support, and missionaries use their off hours, holidays, and vacations to evangelize on college campuses. Their training is military-like, requiring a “soldier spirit.” Missionaries described training as “boot camp,” complete with jogging and pushups, but also intensive Bible study and evangelism. Early missionaries had to report in public meetings the number of students they invited to study the Bible, how many accepted, and how many students were currently studying the Bible with them. Missionaries who had the most “sheep” were raised to leadership positions.”

Moll also correctly points out the primary shortcoming of Kim’s book.

“Despite my high level of engagement with the subject matter of The Spirit Moves West, I found its repetitiveness taxing. Instead of stating and restating her theories, Kim could have answered some obvious questions: How does UBF operate and structure itself when its missionaries are all lay volunteers working full-time jobs? Are UBF campus chapters and Sunday congregations the same thing? What happens in a Bible study? Exactly how ineffective is its method of “cold calling” college students? Despite her years spent investigating, Kim merely hints that this method doesn’t work well. She quotes missionaries and UBF leaders, but without any longer profiles, the reader lacks a clear sense of who these Korean missionaries are.”

These kinds of questions are where my 7th book comes in. I fill in the gaps of what Rebecca Kim leaves out.

Table of Contents for My 7th Book

My new book is entitled: “The Identity Snatchers: Exposing a Bible Cult”. What thoughts do these things stir up? Please contact me if you would like to contribute to this book. I already have a group of former UBF members who will help me create this book. I am looking for chapter art, poems, stories, endorsements and other feedback you may have.

Introduction

Excessive Manipulation: A New You

            Controlling with Marriage

            Orienting with Ideology

            Confusing with Falsehood

            Isolating with Family

            Breaking with Pressure

            Rebuilding with Staging

Abusive Influence: A New Lifestyle

            Redefining your Mindset

            Rerouting your Finances

            Rebranding your Spirituality

            Repurposing your Body

            Redirecting your Emotions

Toxic Leadership: A New Parent

            Disregarding Society

            Making up New Rules

            Serving a Different Mission

            Promoting Corrupt Character

            Writing Their Own History

Healthy Recovery: A New Life

            How to Break Free

            How to Rebuild

            How to Stay Free

“It seems as if I’ve been transformed from a caterpillar into a butterfly! Specifically, one big change has been in the way I read Scripture. The way I understand how to interpret, how to apply and how to derive a message from Scripture is new and completely revamped due to my surrender to the grace of God. It is important to point out that my transformation, which was later spurred on by the gay debates, began with reading about the transformation of Charles H. Spurgeon, dubbed the Prince of Preachers by many. Reading about how he came to church one snowy day when the normal preacher was not able to preach was magnificent. Spurgeon’s sermon on grace is foundational in transforming my theology.

Since I began taking some pre-seminary cohort classes, I have begun to understand the value of exegesis, hermeneutics and homiletics. Exegesis is the process of deriving meaning of a text within the context in which it was written. Hermeneutics is the concept of applying the meaning of a text with a broader lens and applying teachings in our current context. Homiletics is the concept of putting together a message or exhortation based on the meaning and application of a text.

What is the meaning? How do we read the Bible? The word exegesis means to draw out. It is a process of finding a critical explanation of a text. Some have said that such a process is just as much of an art as it is a science, especially when we are not dealing with our native language. Often, we just don’t know what was in the author’s mind or what precise meaning was meant to be conveyed. At such a moment, it is better to say “I don’t know” than to introduce a concept foreign to the text. Portraying a foreign idea onto a text is called “eisegesis” and often leads to disastrous results.

When determining the meaning of a passage, we ask questions about grammar, terminology and literary constructs. Are we dealing with a historical text or poetry? Who are the characters in the text? What is the significance of the location or timing of the events? Most importantly, with the Bible in particular, we seek out other passages that give meaning or insight into the passage. In a text such as John 4, we might derive meaning by asking why was the woman drawing water at the well by herself? What does Isaiah say about the work the Messiah would be doing? How might John 4 be an example of that work of the Messiah?

What is the application? How is this meaning relevant in other situations? The word hermeneutics means interpretation. It refers to the method we use to take some meaning of a text and interpret that meaning in various other situations that may not be specifically mentioned in the text. It is hermeneutics that often causes so much discord in the church.

When interpreting the meaning of a text and applying that meaning to a situation, we ask questions about the underlying beliefs and theories at play. Do we believe the Bible is inerrant or inspired? What has the church traditionally said about this passage? How did church fathers such as Augustine interpret the text? In the John 4 text, we might seek to apply Jesus’ methods of interacting with the immoral woman to our present day interactions, and discover how to be more civil and charitable with each other.

What message does our meaning and application send? How is what we say going to be received by various audiences? Homiletics is the study of conversation, specifically the conversation that happens between a preacher and the audience. How is our message being delivered? It is said that when you give a speech, you must “know your audience”. This is valuable advice for every student and preacher of the Bible.

When considering the message or homily we are communicating, we ask questions about perception, clarity and tone. Who will be in our audience? Are we invoking unnecessary or excessive feelings of guilt and anxiety? What actions or behaviors do our words motivate people toward? Is our message consistent with the qualities we value most? In the case of John 4, we might try to see our message from the perspective of a divorced single mother and adjust if necessary.

I realize I often had my approach to the Bible completely backward. On my own, I tried to build a homiletic and then jumped into hermeneutics. I started with an idea I wanted to tell people, and then looked for Bible verses that seemed applicable to my idea. When I found such Bible verses, I then tried to find some meaning from them that was consistent with my idea. This approach often left me confused, but it did bolster my ego. I felt that my ideas were justified by the Bible text, and thus God was surely on my “side.” Now I am no longer on a “side;” I am on a journey.

(quoted from “The New Wine“, pg 9-11)

Thoughts? Reactions? Criticisms? Challenges? Ideas?

Words of Blessing from Scripture

A scan through the Holy Scriptures reveals the nature of God’s blessing.

Psalm 106:3 “Blessed are they who observe justice, who do righteousness at all times!” My process of leaving was spurred on by the injustice of my sin against the Kim family in 1990. My conscience was bothered more and more as I was told the forget about this event by ubf people. The more I sought relief from this pain of conscience, the more blessed I felt. Seeking justice opens a door to God’s blessing.

Isaiah 30:18 [The Lord Will Be Gracious] “Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” I was told repeatedly to just wait on ubf leaders to change. But I saw no evidence of change, just a mere rearranging the chairs on the Titanic. So I decided to stop waiting on ubf leaders to change, and to wait on God to work His justice. Waiting on God is so much more blessed than waiting on change in an organization.

What does Jesus say?

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us that blessing is not about being “in” or “out” of some community. Blessing is the gift of God, bestowed upon both individuals and community.

In Matthew 5:1-12 Jesus tells us the kind of people God blesses. They are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers and the people who are insulted and persecuted. I am not going to claim to be great in these areas. I know I fall short. Yet it was these verses of blessing that comforted me so many times during my leaving process. Every time I thirsted for righteousness, sought to deepen my understanding of godly sorrow or strived to be pure and honest, I felt the hand of God’s blessing. This brought much persecution from ubf people who cared more about obedience and loyalty than righteousness or purity of heart. And that led me to be greatly blessed.

What is blessing?

I have discovered that ubf taught me a vending machine attitude toward blessing. Go to daily bread in the morning, get a blessing that Sunday. Write a glory-story testimony, get a blessing that Friday. But Jesus does not have such a pragmatic idea of blessing. Jesus says blessings are the kingdom of heaven, comfort, the earth, satisfaction, mercy, the ability to see God, and the children of God. Surely there are many pragmatic blessings, but Jesus invites us to gain the greater blessings. Before leaving I and my home chapter in Toledo went through several years of discord. There was no satisfcation or comfort. But I found these blessings poured out on us through my leaving process.

So then, God does not show favoritism. Being “in” ubf is no more special than being “out” of ubf. In fact, maybe we could drop the in/out dichotomy and say “at” ubf. Some, like Ben and forests, are at ubf ministry. But they are not “in” any special blessing. I am not at ubf ministry. But I am not “out” of any blessing from God.

My Blessed Life after ubf

My life is also practially blessed. My wife and I went on our first date after 18 years of marriage (instead of single college students who “co-work”). We are learning and succeeding at how to be good parents (instead of passing on a heritage). My job is stable and our finances are recovering from the finance abuse. At ubf, I had 19 jobs in about 20 years. Now I’ve had the same job for two years in a row! Our family is making new friends and resting in the blessing of God. We have actually studied the bible and learned from the bible (instead of just making copy-cat white binders).

Our family had an initial time of turbulence, but that is smoothing out now. I no longer think it will take 24 years to recover from my 24 years at ubf. After just 4 years, we have already seen so much healing and blessing.

So please, ubf shepherds, can we stop the false teaching that when you leave ubf you are cursed? We former members are just as blessed as you are. Surely there is blessing at ubf and not at ubf.

Remembering Sarah

Back in 2012, I shared my thoughts on remembering Sarah. I pray for the continued healing and  restoration of their family. I pray for grace and peace to be with them. I pray for the memory of Sarah to be a good one–a reminder that life is short and that we should live our lives in happiness. I pray that her life may remind us of the pressure people are living with.

Remembering the Others

The other suicides related to ubf people are still mostly a mystery to me. They are like unknown soldiers, people I don’t know much about. Still I remember them. Here is a quote from the past: “Then something tragical happened. A UBF shepherd from my chapter had commited suicide. I had known him a little bit and had lived for some time together with him in UBF “common life.” Therefore I went to his funeral, together with D (who had been his shepherd) and one or 2 other UBF members.” When we begin to pressure someone to make life decisions for the sake of ubf mission, might we remember the burdens people are dealing with?

The Burden Layers

In my article, “My Journey of Recovery” I shared the multiple burden layers that I had discovered in my life after leaving ubf. I suspect there are more. It is these burden layers that ubf imposes onto your life, so much so that thoughts of suicide enter your mind. It is these layers of burden that I demand ubf leaders to remove from ubf members. I demand that ubf “shepherds” no longer falsely advertise “just one hour of bible study per week!” when they have this massive lifestyle of entanglement planned for the new students.

Suicide is not the Unforgivable Sin

I also take the time each Memorial Day to share with people that suicide is not the unforgivable sin. Suicide may be the only way to find peace. You see, that is what the human soul seeks–peace and hope. When you take away peace and hope people are left with darkness and silence. I find solace in Jesus’ Gethsemane prayer. Our Messiah prayed for us. He forgives us. He longs to live inside us. He is alive today and loves us.

The Bigger Issue

For those who took their own lives, there is nothing left to discuss. My greater concern is for those who live with thoughts of suicide, depression or sadness. That is why I bring up this topic on Memorial Day, to raise awareness and courageously talk about a typically taboo subject.

So I ask: What gives you hope? How do you find peace? Why do you say we should value life?

One final thought… The movie “A Few Good Men” inspired me with courage beyond belief. I love this scene and I see myself as Tom Cruise :)

Leaving your family

The story in Tangled begins with Rapunzel being taken away from her family by Mother Gothel. The reason is because Mother Gothel realizes that Rapunzel has power to keep her young. It is the youth of Rapunzel that Mother Gothel desires. So Mother Gothel takes Rapunzel away from her parents. She gives Rapunzel a good life, but isolates her in a tall castle tower.

Forming a Co-dependent Relationship

As Rapunzel grows up, she receives many good gifts from Mother Gothel, who provides rather well for Rapunzel’s development. Rapunzel has many opportunities for learning, painting, sewing, crafting–all kinds of things. The only catch is Rapunzel must stay within the castle walls, never to venture outside. Rapunzel grows up into a teenager with a decently happy life and becomes trained in various arts–music, reading, etc. As she grows, a longing grows too. Rapunzel longs to know what the lights mean. She always has a faint vision of a light and loves to see the hundreds of lights that mysteriously show up on her birthday every year. She can see them from her window but knows not what they mean.

Over time, Rapunzel comes to depend on Mother Gothel. Mother Gothel comes to depend on Rapunzel. They need each other. The bond of co-dependency forms.

An Outside Visitor

A surly character named Flynn changes everything for Mother Gothel and Rapunzel when he happens upon Rapunzel’s castle by mistake. This outside visit leads Rapunzel on a wild adventure outside the castle. She struggles at first as to whether she should go or not. She feels loyal to Mother Gothel but the longing to know the meaning of the lights drives her onward to the outside world. To her surprise, she fares rather well in the “big bad world” outside her castle.

Mother Gothel’s Trick to get Rapunzel Back

Mother Gothel finds out Rapunzel talked to Flynn and ventured into the outside world. Mother Gothel fears losing her source of youth and goes after Rapunzel and Flynn. Mother Gothel tricks Rapunzel into thinking Mother Gothel is her true family and that Flynn abandoned her. In reality, Flynn was the honest one. Rapunzel falls for the trick and goes back to the castle, believing Mother Gothel really does know best.

Rapunzel Realizes Who She Is

This scene is most powerful and relevant. Rapunzel realizes she is the lost princess. The lights are for her, sent by her parents. She reconnects with her family. Love wins.

Mother Gothel: Rapunzel? Rapunzel, what’s going on up there? Are you all right?
Rapunzel: [whispers] I’m the lost princess.
Mother Gothel: [sighs] Please speak up, Rapunzel. You know how I hate the mumbling…
Rapunzel: [louder] I am the lost princess! Aren’t I?
[Mother Gothel stares in shock]
Rapunzel: Did I mumble, Mother? Or should I even call you that?
Mother Gothel: [pauses, then regains composure] Oh, Rapunzel, do you even hear yourself? Why would you ask such a ridiculous question?
Rapunzel: [pushes her away, angry and frightened] It was you! It was ALL you!
Mother Gothel: [coldly] Everything I did was to protect YOU.
[Rapunzel shoves past Gothel in disgust]
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel!
Rapunzel: I’ve spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power…
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel!
Rapunzel: …when I should have been hiding – from YOU!
Mother Gothel: Where will you go? He won’t be there for you.
Rapunzel: What did you do to him?
Mother Gothel: That criminal is to be hanged for his crimes.
Rapunzel: [gasps] No…
Mother Gothel: Now, now, it’s all right. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.
[She tries to touch Rapunzel, but Rapunzel grabs her wrist]
Rapunzel: No! You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about ME! And I will NEVER let you use my hair again!
[Mother Gothel breaks free of Rapunzel’s grip, only to cause a nearby mirror to fall and smash. Rapunzel then turns to leave]
Mother Gothel: You want me to be the bad guy? Fine.
[advances toward Rapunzel threateningly]
Mother Gothel: Now I’m the bad guy.

Sources:
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0165312/quotes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangled

Our ubfriends discussions about the gospel

Here are some excellent articles that we have discussed each year:

http://www.ubfriends.org/2011/12/17/gospel-no-condemnation-really/

http://www.ubfriends.org/2012/01/17/the-gospel-in-the-descendants/

http://www.ubfriends.org/2012/02/22/the-gospel-and-linsanity/

http://www.ubfriends.org/2012/09/22/what-is-the-gospel/

http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/07/18/the-gospel-of-christ-vs-the-gospel-of-mission/

http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/12/02/amazon-com-and-the-gospel/

http://www.ubfriends.org/2014/09/15/the-theology-of-gross-what-modern-psychology-can-teach-us-about-purity-disgust-love-and-the-gospel/

http://www.ubfriends.org/2014/09/26/my-gospel-story-of-gods-grace/

http://www.ubfriends.org/2014/11/10/glimpses-of-the-gospel/

Some explicit quotes

I’ve been reading many more books these days. One that stirred a lot of thoughts and interest in the gospel for me is Matt Chandler’s “The Explicit Gospel“. I recommend reading many sources to get a range of perspectives on this important subject. I don’t agree with some of what Chandler presents, but over all this is a solid starting point for a deeper grasp of the Christian message we should be embodying.

Here are some choice quotes I love:

“More often than not, we want him to have fairy wings and spread fairy dust and shine like a precious little star, dispensing nothing but good times on everyone, like some kind of hybrid of Tinker Bell and Aladdin’s Genie. But the God of the Bible, this God of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, is a pillar of fire and a column of smoke.” (pg 29)

“Heaven is not a place for those who are afraid of hell; it’s a place for those who love God. You can scare people into coming to your church, you can scare people into trying to be good, you can scare people into giving money, you can even scare them into walking down an aisle and praying a certain prayer, but you cannot scare people into loving God. You just can’t do it.” (pg 49)

“If we confuse the gospel with response to the gospel, we will drift from what keeps the gospel on the ground, what makes it clear and personal, and the next thing you know, we will be doing a bunch of different things that actually obscure the gospel, not reveal it.” (pg 83)

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/20-quotes-from-the-explicit-gospel

Digging deeper: whose wrath?

One of my transformations lately is to know God who is love. God is capable of wrath, but God is not wrath. Instead of seeing the cross as God’s wrath I now see the cross as God’s response to human wrath.

So this is the main area of disagreement I have with Chandler. He writes:

“Once we remove the bloody atonement as satisfaction of God’s wrath for sin, the wheels really come off. Where the substitutionary atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross is preached and proclaimed, missions will not spin off to a liberal shell of a lifeless message but will stay true to what God has commanded the church to be in the Scriptures.” (pg 198)

His concern is valid: If we remove the wrath of God punishing sin, what restraint do we have? My answer is that we have three restraints: The Holy Spirit, our individual conscience and our communal justice structures.

Many gospels

As I discuss many issues online and in person, I always strive to bring the conversation back to some element of the gospel. By doing this, I have uncovered an array of gospels that are shaky and non-fulfilling at best. Most of the time people confuse our response to the gospel with the gospel message itself.

Here are some “gospels” I have heard preached and how they relate to the five explicit “gospel of” messages in Scripture.

• Deathbed gospel – this message places primary importance on the day of death. The message says that the good news is that if on the day you die, you have repented of all grave or gross sins, you get into Heaven. This is based on the 1 Corinthians 6:9 and Revelations lists. I see this as a distortion of the gospel of salvation.

• Hamster Wheel gospel – this message places primary importance on getting rid of sin in the present. The message says that the good news is that you have power through the cross to make your self and your life more and more sin-free. I see this as a distortion of the gospel of grace.

• Prosperity gospel – this message places primary importance on blessing. The message says that the good news is that God will bless you, if you obey. This message is rooted in the Old Covenant way of blessing and curse for obedience and disobedience. I see this as a distortion of the gospel of peace.

• Mission gospel – This message places primary importance on evangelization. The message says that the good news is that  you get to be a missionary. If you are not preaching or teaching someone then you are not a true or good Christian. I see this as a distortion of the gospel of the kingdom.

• Glory gospel – This message places primary importance on self-gain. The message says that the more glory and honor and fame you seek, the more God is glorified. It says we should do big things for God and gather many possessions for the glory of God. This may be rooted in Abraham’s lifestyle or other figures in the Bible. I see this as a distortion of the gospel of God’s glory.

Tough challenge

Are you prepared to die for the gospel?

And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.”

Mark 8:34-35 ESV

Making it simple

The gospel is Jesus Himself. To know the truth of a person, we must dialogue. To know the gospel more and more, we must learn to listen to God’s voice more and more, and grow into the mystery that is Christ in us. In this sense we can know the gospel messages more and more deeply.

But that is often complex and nebulous. So to me, the simple gospel is this: love everyone. Learn how to love your enemy, “those people”, the “gross”, the “icky”, and everyone you encounter.

Love. That is my gospel. And I am willing to die for it. What is your gospel?

First: Be a family-centered person!

If there is anything helpful in my recovery from undue religious influence at UBF, for me it was re-connecting with my family. I was told by a UBF missionary that my visiting my brother’s wedding was an act of Satan. Things like this made me cautious and fearful about visiting my family members.

After coming out of UBF in 2011, however, I find that cutting off ties with parents, etc. is more like Satan’s work. Visiting family is in reality more like Jesus’ work. Jesus once visited Simon’s house, correct? Yes there is a family-like fellowship among believers but nowhere in the bible do we find that it is evil to value and cherish and visit your family.

Second: Be your own man or own woman!

Based on a few proof-texted verses from the bible, UBF shepherds tend to teach you that you cannot make your decisions on your own. Always there is a need to at least check your decisions against your shepherd or chapter director, depending on how big the decision is. I say “be your own man!”. The disrespect for a person’s autonomy at UBF chapters is a blatant red flag of spiritual abuse.

I would suggest reading about healthy mentoring. Mentoring often includes many people as mentors, not just one. Mentors are chosen by students, not the other way around. Why should your life be directed by someone you randomly met on campus one day? It is your life. It is your decision. It is your responsibility.

If you had the chance, what would you say to all UBF sheep right now?

My Resistance to the Cult Label

It must be noted first that the term cult did not come from me. I resisted this label for decades. Even after leaving, I wrestled with whether to use this term or not. In the past, I was “Mr. UBF” and argued intensely to defend the UBF organization for many years (2002 to 2007). I worked with Sarah Barry and others to erase negative information about UBF on the internet. I called Mr. Fisk of the NAE to argue in favor of re-instating UBF to the NAE organization. So for most of my life I hated the cult label and fought hard to remove it.

In 2008 I met John Jun at a UBF staff conference breakfast and listened to him gleefully tell me how UBF lawyers had removed the threat of Chris and his ubf-hate website. My eyes began opening to the facts.

In 2009 or so I discovered that James Kim (of Toledo UBF) had died. I was furious that no one told me so that I could attend his funeral. I was told another James Kim drove Paul Hong and Mark Gamber to the funeral. After this I decided to read the entire letters of James Kim and Rebekah Kim. I highly recommend reading these and processing them. Charles recently posted the links in a comment here.

Where does the cult label come from?

I began researching the issue online in the following years. I have now built up my priestly>nation website as a resource for links to everything related to UBF. One major resource is my list of links to newspaper articles that mention UBF as a cult, most of which pre-date the widespread use of the internet. The cult label started being applied to UBF right away in Korea and later in 1977, after missionaries from Korea UBF went to Canada.

http://www.priestlynation.com/newspapers/

There are now many organizations that have files on UBF. The primary two, in the West at least, are from Rick Ross and Steven Hassan. Both websites have a wealth of information about undue religious influence and how to cope with such influence. Both have extensive documentation about UBF.

The cult label came from the public. That is the primary way the public still sees ubf in 2015.

Cult Education Institute
http://www.culteducation.com/faq.html

Freedom of Mind Resource Center
https://freedomofmind.com/Info/

What does the term cult mean?

My first source is Merriam-Webster’s dictionary.

: a small religious group that is not part of a larger and more accepted religion and that has beliefs regarded by many people as extreme or dangerous

: a situation in which people admire and care about something or someone very much or too much

: a small group of very devoted supporters or fans

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cult

The cult label conjures up a lot of emotion and images but in itself, the word cult is not bad. For example, I am a full-fledged “member” of the Star Wars cult! I love all things Star Wars. In this sense, the term cult refers to the fanaticism that can surround many things. Some see a Jesus fan-club cult in the West. These things are not necessarily dangerous or harmful; just a phenomena.

Qualities of Cults in Religion

In the religious realm, the word cult takes on a different nuance. Lifton and Singer are two of the most robust thinkers in the use of the word cult in religion. In my 24 year experience at UBF and my 4 years experience outside UBF has given me thousands of examples of how Toledo UBF and UBF HQ fits into the realm of the religious use of the cult label.

Lifton’s Three Qualities of a Cult

• A charismatic leader, who increasingly becomes an object of worship as the general principles that may have originally sustained the group lose power.
• A process [is in use] call[ed] coercive persuasion or thought reform.
• Economic, sexual, and other exploitation of group members by the leader and the ruling coterie.

Singer’s Three Qualities of a Destructive Cult

• The origin of the group and role of the leader.
• The power structure, or relationship between the leader[s] and the followers.
• The use of a coordinated program of persuasion, which is called thought reform [or more commonly, ‘brainwashing'”].

I would urge everyone to read the material on the FAQ at the Cult Education Institute and make up your own mind. The six most liberating words ever spoken to me were from John Armstrong: “I will not bind your conscience”. So while I use the term cult, everyone here is free to disagree. I only ask that we are able to discuss reasons why we disagree.

http://www.culteducation.com/faq.html

What kind of cult is ubf?

Clearly ubf was a personality cult from 1961 to 2002, the span of Samuel Lee’s influence. There are still many pockets of personality cult life in various ubf chapters where there is a strongly narcissistic leader who needs some sort of narcissistic supply to function. My term for ubf is that the organization as a whole is a destructive ideology cult. Here are seven reasons why.

1) Family neglect.

The first reason ubf is a cult is because they teach neglect of family. Using proof-texted ideas from the bible, they claim that it is more spiritual and pleasing to God to sacrifice your family and be mission-centered. ubf is now your family. Don’t believe me? Then try this. Share a testimony at ubf entitled “God’s will is to be family-centered. One word: I love my family.” And then skip a ubf meeting for a family event. You can expect to find many angry and sad faces when you return. To say you are “family-centered” at ubf means you are unspiritual, sinful and in danger of losing God’s approval according to ubf teaching. They further disrespect family by the requirement that every ubf shepherd must go through their arranged marriage process called “marriage by faith”.

2) Identity breaking.

The second reason ubf is a cult is because they are identity snatchers. They encourage you to adopt the viewpoint that your pre-ubf life is bad, sinful, unspiritual and the like. Your new ubf life is now good, holy and pleasing to God if you adopt the “Shepherd X” identity. To make a decision to be a ubf shepherd means everything to ubf people. Your pre-ubf identity is chipped away and cut out, meeting by meeting, until you lose touch with your authentic self. This is done in the name of self-denial and taking up your cross, strongly bound to more proof-texted ideas from bible verses. Dr. Hassan describes this as the cult identity, and it has just enough of “you” to make it seem real. ubf breaks you down through sleep deprivation at numerous conferences, continual indoctrination at daily meetings and repeated reminders of your shortcomings. Your identity becomes assimilated into the ubf community, as your life becomes intertwined with other members’ lives.

3) Decision control.

The third reason ubf is a cult is that the shepherds at ubf manipulate the members (called sheep) to control and check their life decisions, such as who to marry, when to marry, where to work, where to live, etc. The supreme values of most ubf people are loyalty and obedience to the ubf authorities. The leaders take control of people’s lives. Some leaders are called directors because they are charged with directing the affairs of their own chapter or sub-community within the ubf network. ubf leaders live a scripted life. Going “off script” is rarely tolerated, especially for repeated offenses. ubf leaders have a very difficult time in any situation where they cannot control the outcome.

4) Culture destruction.

The fourth reason ubf is a cult organization is that they destroy the culture of the host countries they send missionaries to. They consider American or German or Mexican culture to be bad or at best only useful for propagating the ubf culture. Being Korean is not bad. There are many good things about Koreans. But ubf missionaries from Korea have made the big mistake of imposing their own culture onto the countries where they go. A survey of people in ubf once asked people to describe their own ministry in one word. The most repeated word was simply “Korean”. ubf missionaries tend to ignore their host country culture and often speak of being “re-charged” by going back to Korea for a visit. After several years at ubf, a member discovers that they speak with Korean-english, eat Korean food and value the Korean Confucian ideas of loyalty, nobility, authority, etc. They also find a great disdain for their own culture.

5) Abuse of all kinds that is not acknowledged.

The final and most important reason why ubf is a harmful cult is because many incidents of abuse have been covered over since 1961 when ubf began in Korea. It is surprisingly well known among ubf leaders that there are incidents of sexual abuse, physical abuse, financial abuse, spiritual abuse and authority abuse. ubf teaches “covering doctrine”, which means leaders’ sins cannot be discussed or challenged in any way. They teach the notion that it is your duty to hide the abuse or sin of a leader. This flawed theology is again proof-texted from the bible with almost no reality check with the thousands of Christian authors and preachers who would expose such teachings. ubf has created an environment where abuse is swept under the rug and corruption thrives under the pretty masks of the appearance of godliness. While most ubf chapters are free of the sexual or physical types of abuse, verbal abuse and financial abuse is widespread.

6) Glory story fabrication

The ubf mindset is prone to rejecting perspectives and valuing intention over facts. mrkimmathclass is correct in that I was foolish to break into James Kim’s house. Who would do such a thing? No one ordered us to do that with a direct command. The reason we did such a thing is that we were fed glory stories–we believed the narrative that James and his family had asked Toledo UBF for help to move while they were in Houston. We believed the glory story that we were blessing them to become missionaries. At the time we had no idea about the god-father power struggles with Samuel Lee. That is why we were so confused when James and Rebekah were SO furious when they returned. Didn’t they appreciate our help? Why are they so angry and unthankful? Well now I understand because I faced the facts of that situation.

7) KOPAHN/12 slogans/shepherding ideology

We’ve already discussed the “kingdom of priest and holy nation” shepherding flaws extensively here. I have no desire to talk about such things but you can read all about these teachings that are so highly prized and even guarded by a new ubf website. If your ubf chapter has not specifically addressed these ideological flaws, you are still in the cult.

http://www.ubfriends.org/?s=what+ubf+taught+me

http://www.priestlynation.com/this-is-your-brain-on-ubf/

Why did I join? Why did I stay? Why did I leave?

In my books (which are onsale now 3 for the price of 1!) I share all about these three questions. My second book, “Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives” is where I process these questions directly.

I joined because of the promise of goodness. ubf offered many low-commitment/high-reward promises. They offered a noble dream of being a shepherd, which I was keen to since I had wanted to be a Catholic priest since I was 16 years old. The poured on my much praise and flattery. Mixed in with all this was a genuine spiritual awakening due to my father’s death in 1989. I had joined ubf in 1987.

I stayed for 24 years, until 2011, because the ubf ideology redefined goodness. What is good? Well going to the ubf activities is good! Everything else is bad, even family. The ubf system is primarily what I rail against, all of which fed my own desire for glory:

• Six Stages of Training
• One Cult Identity
• Three Layers of Burden
• Four Elements of Control
• Twelve Heritage Slogans

I left due to my discovery of goodness. I started reading about Spurgeon and the gospel of Christianity. The goodness of transformation by the Holy Spirit overcame me when I read Christian books. The goodness of a virtual community (like ubfriends) brought much peace and light and healing to my soul. And the goodness of LGBTQIA people who accepted me helped me re-connect with goodness again. Most importantly my wife and mother and all my family became my bedrock of goodness again.

Here is a quote from my second book:

“For the most part, I feel that I was drawn out of UBF. One could say the Holy Spirit lead me to UBF and lead me away from UBF in order to display God’s goodness. That drawing out began in 2003 when my family moved to Detroit as UBF pioneers. My time in Toledo UBF was intensely regulated the entire 16 years, being consumed by attending UBF meetings on a daily basis. But my time in Detroit was free of such meetings. For the most part, our family was left alone. The downside of this was that we felt abandoned and had no support to actually build up a Christian church. The upside was that we had no more direct supervision from UBF missionaries. We were free! I used this time at first to defend UBF ideologies on the internet. But it was quickly pointed out to me by former UBF members that my situation as a “pioneering” family was very different from normal a UBF experience. I could not but agree. And one by one, all my defenses of UBF fell apart. I desperately wanted to defend the organization that I had given my blood, sweat and tears for. As my defenses fell apart, I began seeking Christian writings and sermons. I fell in love with the work of Charles Spurgeon. I met my grandparents’ pastor several times and read some of the Christian books he gave me. All this lead me to have a strong desire for community.”

One final note

In the end it was and has been the gospel of Jesus Christ that set me free from UBF ideology and is breaking every chain!  Please read Isabelle’s book and process all these things:  “I Choose: Subtlety in Cults“

They share the gospel through worship

The first thing that comes to my mind about Westloop UBF is the worship. I have had the privilege to worship with them three times in the last several years. Each time I felt the love of Christ and heard the gospel through the unspoken chords of music they played. I’m not talking about the style of music or the words of music exactly. It was that the Holy Spirit in me rejoiced to meet up with the Holy Spirit in them.

They accept me

This might be the most profoundly Christ-like aspect of Westloop UBF. Or it might be to some the most Satanic aspect. But they accept me for who I am. They made no attempts to change me. They let me speak without a script. They asked me questions to understand me. They wanted to know more about my books. I will never forget my discussions and prayer with Henry. He is truly an ambassador of Christ.

They disagree with me

The thing I love most about Ben is that he is not afraid to disagree with me. We don’t tip-toe around but share why we disagree. While there is much we agree on, there is much we don’t agree on. And believe it or not, I have changed based on some of Ben’s feedback. For example, early on I was brutally criticizing ubf. Ben told me I am like a spotlight. He suggested becoming a laser light with pinpoint accuracy might be more effective than just blasting ubf with spotlights. I have learned endlessly from Ben’s Facebook posts as well!

They live in the gap

There is a famous verse in the bible about standing in the gap. No one exemplifies this more in my life than Ben and Rhoel and Westloop UBF. I don’t now how they do it exactly but somehow they live in the tension between ubf and exubf. They have redeemed the name “UBF” and yet still remain part of the organization. I am not strong enough to do such a thing, so I respect them highly. Maybe you just have to be a Looper to understand this!

They appointed me

Here is a little-known fact that many Loopers may not even know (or like). After I resigned from being Director of Detroit UBF, Ben made my wife and I honorary elders at Westloop UBF. I accepted. So wrap your mind around this: I really never left ubf.

So thank you Westloop Church! You have shown me the love of Christ and I thank you for this. I love you Loopers!

After at least 10 years of thousands of hours of private conversations between Joe and many UBF leaders in Chicago and around the world, the President of UBF reaches out to Joe. This is what happened as far as I can tell.

Timeline of General Director Voting

3/1/15 – The President of UBF ignores the past 10 years and out of the blue, asks Joe to vote for the new General Director. Augustine Sohn, the President of UBF, asked Joe if he was still a ubf member and whether Joe would be voting for the next General Director of ubf in a second round of voting. The first round of voting by a small number of top-level ubf leaders had resulted in a tie between Isaac Kim in LA and Abraham T Kim in Chicago. So now the vote must go to the International Advisory Members (about 90 people) to see if either candidate gets a majority vote.

3/2/15 – Joe responds to Augustine and also shares his response in an open letter on ubfriends.
http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/03/02/an-open-letter-to-the-president-of-ubf/

3/11/15 – News breaks about closing a ubf factory in Mexico
http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/03/11/the-work-of-satan-in-mexico/
Mr. Rhee who is a ubf missionary, owns a sock factory in Mexico. He and 3 other ubf missionaries were detained by Mexican police and their factory shut down for a few weeks. It appears they were released later and the factory re-opened. The allegations were sexual abuse and worker abuse such as long hours, lacking benefits, lacking safety equipement and underage workers. This event had prevented Mr. Rhee from voting in the first round of General Director voting (his vote would have broken the first round tie). Hence, the need to ask more leaders (like Joe) at ubf to vote in a second round of voting.

3/12/15 – Around this time a second round of voting by about 90+ International Advisory Members (that would include Joe if he voted) finishes and neither candidate gets enough votes to confirm them as the next General Director. This means a third round of voting must happen. This is a “vote of confidence” to confirm whether the candidate with the most votes in round 2 gets to be confirmed. Since Abraham T Kim got the most votes (but not a majority) he is the only candidate in this third round of voting.

3/20/15 – The third round of voting determines that Abraham T Kim is elected as the new General Director
http://www.ubf.org/announcements/north-america/announcement-voting-result-general-director-ubf

4/20/15 – Joe receives a private response from Augustine Sohn, the President of UBF
http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/03/02/an-open-letter-to-the-president-of-ubf/#comment-17429

4/23/15 – Alan Wolff, the Vice President of UBF submits his response to Joe anonymously on ubfriends
http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/04/23/a-response-to-joes-open-letter/

4/24/15 – James Kim of New York UBF begins making comments on the anonymous letter
http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/04/23/a-response-to-joes-open-letter/#comment-17466
Using the name “mrkimmathclass” James’ first comment is “Best post ever!!!!”. James bulldozes the conversation into a discussion about whether ubf is a cult or a church with problems.

4/29/15 – Alan Wolff joins the conversation
http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/04/23/a-response-to-joes-open-letter/#comment-17710
http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/04/23/a-response-to-joes-open-letter/#comment-17714

Why Alan’s Comment Summarizes the Problems of ubf

I told Alan that his comment was a slap in the face. His response was “Sorry Brian, what I said what was not meant to be a slap in the face.”

This is a one-sentence snapshot that reveals why I call ubf a cult. Fix these three things and ubf will actually begin changing for the better.

There are many reasons why I say ubf is a cult. I plan to share those more organized thoughts in a follow-up article this week. For today, let’s process the following three concepts embodied by Alan’s simple comment to me.

– Rejecting the perspective of others

Cults dictate their own reality according to their own group narrative. Alan’s comment dismissed my perspective. His words about labels felt like a slap in the face. But he fails to acknowledge that my perspective has any value at all. This communicates to me that my views have no bearing on the discussion. If there is any pet-peeve of my time at ubf, it is that I was trained to dictate my reality. Instead of respect for other perspectives, I learned to force my ideas onto the facts around me. This is the most damaging aspect of ubf training. It is true that we all bring our own bias to any conversation. But it is harmful to create a KOPAHN ideology and then dictate that ideology onto every person and every situation. Christians respect the conscience and perspectives of other people. Respecting conscience is a significant theme in the bible. I see this respect is what Jesus did repeatedly in Scripture. To dismiss the view of someone is to demean their value as a human being. Is there any example of Jesus demeaning the value of a person or someone’s perspective?

– Writing anonymously

Cults give you a non-authentic identity. The need for ubf and ex-ubf people to remain anonymous is understandable, but also a red flag. It is a symptom of having lost your own identity and the ability to make your own decisions. It reflects a desire to be closed off from the outside word. It reflects a desire to hide. Christians do not hide. The gospel message is to be a light on a lampstand. The life of the Christian community is to be a city on a hill for all to see. Sure there are times when Christians may need to go underground. Is this a time when Christians should hide behind anonymous walls?

– Placing value on intention over fact

Cults ignore facts and teach you to figure out and accept the good intention behind whatever leader says or does. (insert Joe’s better thought on exerting yourself as a teacher/expert over other people) What matters to Alan is his intentions and not what he really said. This requires other people to constantly translate what a ubf person intends to say, not what they actually said. This contradicts our ubfriends idea of taking people at face value and not trying to figure out all the complexities of invisible intention. Christians look at the fruit of someone. Do we find any examples in Scripture where people’s intentions are validated when those intentions contradict the facts? Do we see examples of people of faith facing the facts of their lives?

Meeting gay Christians during sabbatical

It has been an amazing journey since that baptism. I have connected with numerous gender and sexual minority Christians and allies, both via social media and in person. The LGBTQAI community welcomed me, accepted me and loved me.

Still, for the past three years, I answered the question of “What denomination are you?” with one word: done.  I held my own “Brian’s beer church” (membership of one) every week. I took time to detox and be outside the gates of Christendom. I enjoyed the time immensely. It was my sabbatical. And I highly recommend taking one or two or more years if you need time to re-connect with life and with your self and with the world around you without the influence of the church. Such a thing was healthy for me.

Moved to return to church

This past weekend I had the great privilege to spend five days worshiping, learning and connecting with lesbian and gay and intersex Christians and their allies. If you ever get this chance, please pursue it! I saw the glory of God as their hearts poured out to God. I saw the kingdom of God where there is no “male and female” (Galatians 3:28). And I was accepted.

I found I have many roles to play in the kingdom of God. I have much to process right now, but I can say clearly now: I love the church. I am a Christian. I love God’s people. And I love my self. I am full of gratitude for Matthew Vines, the gay Christian who inspired me to love the gospel and to love the church.

What worship experiences have you had recently? What motivates you to love people? How do you love the church? What roles have you discovered for using your talents in the kingdom of God?

[picture credit: “Church” artwork by my mother, Linda Yenser]

The Work of Satan?

In a recent message also posted publicly, a ubf missionary mentions the situation in Mexico as the work of Satan. Here are the more detailed prayer topics:

First, God blessed M. Timothy and Hannah so far looking at their beautiful lives of sacrifice for the work in Mexico.

Second, what is happening now came from Satan for his hatred towards all believers and to attack the Conference in Mexico in April 2-5.

Third, I was very surprised to see M. Timothy’s faith which is as strong as Job’s, and M. Hannah is so different from Job’s wife. She was calm and always praying despite the difficult situation. I saw that they believe in God as their living redeemer.

Fourth, I could trust that the living Lord, our redeemer will end these problems very soon and that he will make them even more prosper in his belongings and also in their children– this doesn’t mean they will have two more children, they are no longer in an age to have more children, but God can give them more children in some other way: by giving children to M. John and M. Goh Eun, and in the case of Hannah Jr, by giving her a good husband for her house church and many spiritual children).

http://www.ubf.org/world-mission-news/latin-america/sunday-worship-message-jose-ahn-delivered-guadalajara-ubf

The Rest of the Story

The message above says this: “Now all of the coworkers in Mexico and other countries know how difficult times M. Timothy is going through.” I can’t help but wonder this: Do they? Do they really know the seriousness of what is happening? Is this really Satan’s work? Or might this be a work of God calling our ubfriends out of silence and to do the right things? If no crimes were committed, why not just come clean and share what is going on? If we are going to pray, shouldn’t we know a bit more about the situation?

The internet has numerous copies of this story, and there is an ongoing investigation into what the ubf missionaries were doing in their sock/garment business. Here is a small sampling of the stories being reported in the news media.

Mexico rescues 129 workers ‘abused’ by S.Korean firm

“Authorities raided the company in the town of Zapopan on Wednesday after receiving an anonymous tip, INM coordinator Ardelio Vargas Fosado told reporters, describing the South Koreans as a “gang of suspected human traffickers.”

Officials rescued 121 women and eight men, including six minors who were 16 and 17 years old.

The workers told prosecutors that they were “victims of physical and sexual abuse, as well as threats, psychological harm and grueling work days,” Vargas Fosado said.

The four South Koreans could not prove whether they legally lived in Mexico. The South Korean consulate was notified to provide assistance to the suspects, officials said.

Workers at Yes International, a company run by South Koreans, watch as Mexican police conduct a raid … Jalisco’s chief prosecutor, Luis Carlos Najera, said authorities are investigating whether child abuse and sexual crimes were committed.

The employees toiled in “unsanitary” conditions, with pollutants in their place of work, and the material they handled posed a fire hazard while the company had no fire safety equipment, said Victor Manuel Torres Moreno, a labor ministry official.”

http://news.yahoo.com/mexico-rescues-129-workers-abused-korean-firm-212651990.html

Korean company denies accusations

“Last week, Attorney General Luis Carlos Najera, revealed that some people who were “rescued” were under psychological treatment, since they had developed the “Stockholm Syndrome”; ie they had achieved affinity occupationally who presumably abused them.”

(translation to English link to this story)

Workers want factory reopened in Zapopan

“The company issued a statement this week to deny the charges against it. President Nak Bong Rhee Choi said the accusations were unfounded, although he admitted there had been a labor investigation but the firm was collaborating with authorities. It had committed no crimes, he said.”

http://mexiconewsdaily.com/news/workers-want-factory-reopened-zapopan/

Narrative 1: Unexpected Faith

“Bullshit! It’s all bullshit!” The frustration on my friend’s face was as real, like the smell of the dark roast coffee I was sipping. How could this be? What would cause my Christian friend to be so exasperated? We met a few more times and as we did, my interest grew. I had to find out what was causing such grief to my friend and his wife. They had, along with other friends from the same faith community in Toledo, expressed similar frustration to me privately in prior years. Why were they sharing such things with me? As my friend shared his struggles, my mind wandered.

My blog, priestlynation.com, became my way of venting my frustration. Some kept asking me, “Are you in UBF or not?” and “What is your problem?” One problem was that my conscience was bothering me on a daily basis. I wanted answers about what we did to James and Rebekah back in 1990. But almost no one wanted to discuss this issue. Most UBF leaders just wanted me to be quiet and let them get back to their ministry. Some who were present with me back in 1990 suddenly had amnesia, and couldn’t recall what happened. Why stir up trouble over an issue that has been dead for nearly 20 years? I was told “The past is the past. You did not do anything wrong.” But my conscience said otherwise. I had to expose this event publicly if no one in my faith community would talk about it. I had no intention of leaving UBF ministry, but I knew that my days were numbered. I decided to make the most of them.

Narrative 2: Unexpected Hope

The sun set. The train left the station. And I abandoned my ambitious attempt to define an ultimate objective reality.

My search for an ultimate, universal, objective truth that would define the world and all people in it, both living and dead, encompassed more than twenty years. I called myself a bible teacher. My identity was that of a chosen servant of God. But the more I sought an outward, objective reality, the more I withdrew into my self and disconnected my life from the reality immediately near me. I had made a grand, ambitious attempt to be a savior-figure, a source of blessing for the world. But in the end, my ambition fell apart faster than a train wreck. And that was a good thing, it turns out. It was the stench of my own decomposing ambition that woke me up from my self-aggrandized fantasy. Something smelled horribly wrong with the mission-from-God life I had been living in. And I was now willing to do whatever it took to find out why.

Narrative 3: Unexpected Love

Like water crashing over a waterfall, time marches forward. Change happens. As the water of change crashed into our faith community, some very unexpected things happened. Navigating such collapse of community often felt like walking on water. Both prudence and risk-taking are needed when your faith community collapses.

Although I use the term “faith community”, our community looked more like an army brigade. And that brigade fell apart in remarkable fashion soon after my resignation.

Many leaders in our faith community blamed me for creating division. What I found though was just the opposite. I connected with amazing people in amazing ways, and listened to their stories. We all found out that we shared much in common. We wondered why we had not talked so openly, honestly or transparently before. Most of these friends ended up leaving UBF ministry as well, over the course of two years. But we found such unity among us—we had similar concerns about the ministry, similar questions about the gospel and similar ideas about how to build a Christian community.

In total, from our faith community, 7 families made up of 38 people and representing 282 years of commitment resigned from Toledo UBF ministry. This represents about half of the ministry lost in a matter of months. After that exodus, other families left. Among these families were leaders—leading everything from children’s ministry to Sunday service to offering administration. These were Sunday messengers, Treasurers and Fellowship Leaders. They had done everything they could to “make it work” for several years. Several of them had been there when Toledo UBF was first pioneered.

Belief systems and mission and community are good things. But if we have not love, what do we have? Following Him who loves is primary.

We often begin our journey with an epic attempt to obey God’s law. We want to please God and so we strive for obedience. Yet even if we get really good at keeping God’s Law, we quickly find that we may in fact be far from God and find ourselves still in need of repentance, radical faith, and a deeper communion with God, who not only loves us, but also is love.

We then are need of an epic surrender. At some point, we throw our hands up and surrender to grace. Love wins. God is love. Love is the ultimate standard. And it is love that leads. An epic life journey is a life surrendered to the purpose of love—love for self, for friends, for family, for enemies, for neighbors, for the marginalized of society and for all humanity. Such love shows that we love God.

As we rest in the grace of God, we find that humanity is both good and bad, and that there is much badness in us and around us. So we embark on an epic search for goodness. We begin to long for what is good. No longer are we satisfied by the appearance of goodness. We want genuine friendships. We seek to discover our authentic self.

Still our life may seem empty or void of purpose. We begin to long for something more, something meaningful to commit our lives to, something lasting. We want to see the effervescent joy of life! We want to build something. So we embark on a journey filled with an epic vision of glory.

And in the end, we realize the epic life is an epic pursuit of unity. Our own ambition to build something is not lasting. What lasts are the relationships that have been united.

The epic life of love then is an epic striving to obey, an epic surrender to grace, an epic search for goodness, an epic vision of glory and an epic pursuit of unity.

[Excerpts from “Unexpected Christianity: The Penguin Narratives”, by Brian John Karcher]

It’s not about Hymn 11

While I realize “hymn 11” may be a PTCD trigger for some, the hymn itself is not the issue at ubf. We should indeed “hail Jesus’ name”, and I am just now, after nearly 4 years of ubf-detox, able to say that. But as a former leader, the hymns we sang weren’t really the issue. It would have been nice for a change once in a while to break up the typical ubf boredom, but changing hymns or music styles won’t bring about reformation at ubf. My friend John writes this:

“I tend to think we do a very dangerous disservice to the church, and the people who are leaving, because we are getting people to think, ‘These must be the reasons people are leaving our church, we need to make some changes to stop this.’ The lists always include things like Worship Music, Building Layout, Outreach, Being Missional and so many others; but I think it leaves out the biggest reason people are leaving.” source

We Know Pressure

I think John hits on a major issue for Western churches, especially in America. But the point is even more valid in the ubf context. We know pressure. We know guilt. We know manipulation to “do God’s will”. We know about making people conform. We know about “going back to the bible” slogans. His words are highly insightful and relevant to my recovery from ubf:

“Pressure can take people from the sets and into the streets; life pressure can cause us to run to the Divine, while church pressure can make us run from the Divine. The more I think about it, the more I truly believe that pressure is the main killer of the church today. Think about it for a second, we put forward this image of Christ, this image of what it mean to be a Christian, and in reality no one can live up to it. No one can be the ‘perfect little Christian’ we expect them to be – so, when they fail we jump on them, we demand they “go back to the basics” never truly knowing what those basics are, because they change with every new article about why people are leaving.” source

The Harmful Results of Pressure

If we don’t handle pressure well or when we abuse the pressure that may have otherwise been good, we damage people. We who are involved with ubf all have seen this– and some have watched for decades. I find John’s description of the harmful results of too much pressure to be on target in the ubf context:

“When we put people under pressure we actually achieve the opposite of what we are striving to achieve. Pressure stifles growth, creativity, conversations, being honest, and being open with each other. Pressure places us in a world were being understanding our faults, our weaknesses, and our past, are not talked about, not discussed, and not forgiven. Pressure moves us from a place of love, to a place where cannot breath, we cannot express ourselves, we cannot let others in, and we refuse to allow others to take us in.” source

What can be done?

For me, I’ve been learning from many sources how to transform pressure into something beautiful. Pressure is actually very useful. Without pressure, the world and humanity might not function. Instead of letting pressure build up and explode in a rage of blog posts :) I am learning to let off steam every day, and to channel my energy from such pressure into working for things such as reconciliation, justice and peace. Here are some suggestions John concludes with in his article:

“What do I think we need to do? I think we need to turn the valve and release the pressure. We need to be open with each other and realize that “making a diamond” is not what we need to be thinking – we need to start to be open, loving and admit our mistakes; no judgment, no pressure. But this also leads to the question of how?

I think the first thing that needs to happen is that the Pastor needs to model what it means to be open and honest – they need to admit their faults, weaknesses and misgiving. Sure, this can be dangerous, we have to remember that when we open the valve, steam may come out and hit us in the face. But it is something we need to do, something we need to be honest about; a chance we need to take.

Second, we need to invite others to be open and honest, and we need to make sure we are a safe place for that to happen – In their being open and honest, we have to be ready to stand with them and keep an eye on the valve keepers.” source

How do you handle the mounting pressures in your life? What advice or tips do you have for releasing pressure and turning it into something beautiful or useful or helpful? What are some good ways to react to people who just need to vent and blow off some steam? Is your church or family a safe place to do that?

By the providence of God, a priest had just parked near the man and was getting out of his car to catch his flight. But when the priest saw the bloody man, he quickly walked to the other side of his car so as not to be seen by him. Then by chance, a youth pastor showed up; but he also avoided the injured man, running past him to catch his flight.

Then a few minutes later, a gay man, traveling home to his husband after a business trip, parked in the open spot near the dying man. As soon as he saw the man’s condition, his heart went out to him. He called 911 and reported the incident. Knowing he had a first aid kit in his car, the man quickly went about stopping the bleeding with the help of the 911 operator– disinfecting and bandaging the man’s wounds. When he learned the ambulance would take nearly 30 minutes to get to the airport garage and that the dying man did not have that much time, the gay man told the 911 operator he would drive the man to the hospital on the airport campus. So he helped the bleeding man into his car, and drove him to the nearest hospital. The gay man stayed to make sure the paperwork was filled out and the man was taken care of, since the man’s identification had been stolen with his wallet. In the evening, the gay man called his husband and told him the situation. They both agreed he should stay all night and make sure the man was ok in the morning. In the morning he took out some cash and a credit card, and gave them to the hostpital, saying, ‘Take good care of him. If it costs any more, put it on my card.”

“What do you think? Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?” “The one who treated him kindly,” the religion scholar responded. Jesus said, “Go and do the same.”

[This is how Jesus’ words sound to me in 2015]

A Duty to Pray for hurting parts of the Body

1 Corinthians 12 has been a huge part of my recovery from pain suffered while in the body of Christ. Paul’s words in chapter 12 came to mind again this week as I heard about some horrible abuses going on in a ubf chapter. We are one body in Christ. This sentence stands out to me: “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored,all rejoice together.” 1 Corinthians 12:26 ESV

If one chapter of a church is hurting, should not the entire church care about it? Should not we who are members of the Body pray for hurting people in the Body? This week, New York UBF is hurting. Please pray for them.

A Courageous Blog Post about Light

I recently pointed readers to a blog series that began expressing the pain and exposing the abuse at New York ubf. Here is that link. Like me in Toledo ubf, my friends in New York left the ministry and decided to “blog out” their pain and difficulties. The link is now gone.

Threats and More Pain

The chapter leaders at New York ubf have been pressuring my friends to shut down this ubfriends website. When the abuses came to light, my friends were additionally threatened with vague scare tactics such as “watch your family members lives” and other threats meant to instill fear and to silence their words. My friend removed his blog posts due to these threats.

Please pray for these friends and the New York UBF chapter. This incident exemplifies the “apologize for what” very well. I hope you can see that far more than an apology is needed. Repentance is required.

Oh and to any ubf leader who wants to make threats, make them to me. In the infamous words of Ben Toh, I can only say “Go ahead. Make my day.”

Here are some ideas so far:

1. Forests list of topics
2. Joe’s Roland paper and the responses he got
3. The James and Rebecca Kim open letter series
4. The 50th Anniversary blue book lectures

Thoughts? What do our silent readers want to read?

The thought is merely this: thank you. Thank you ubf and my shepherds for the following three things. Your ministry needs big-time help, to be sure, and my recovery from undue religious influence is not over. But I have reached the point where I can say thank you and leave it at that.

15,000+ hours

I deeply appreciate the time spent reading, discussing and sharing about the bible. That is not a lifestyle for everyone, but I enjoyed that aspect.

A suitable helper

I do not condone faith-arranged-marriage, and have much work to do now that my wife and I realized we are actually married after 20 years, but I do highly appreciate the suitable helper teaching from Genesis. This is a correct exegesis of those passages as far as I am concerned.

Being there in tragedy

My father’s passing away in 1989 was tragic. I am glad many people at ubf were there for me.

Grace and peace,
BrianK.

Accepted!

Today I received word that I am accepted into the next Reformation Project cohort. It felt so good–too good. I am so excited and so happy! This means I have to start going to church and reading a ton of material, but I am so ready to get going on this. So I will begin attending our family’s local Baptist church this Sunday.

I owe a huge thank you to those who sent in recommendation letters for me! Thank you so much for believing in me regardless of our doctrinal differences. This makes three cohorts in a row for me. I really enjoy this cohort style of learning and growing in faith.

Vantage Point 3 Cohort

In 2013 I attended Grace Community’s leadership cohort in Detroit, MI. This utilized the Vantage Point 3 “The Journey” material and was excellent. I had a personal encounter with the Triune God and found my authentic self narrative. Here is  a link to the program my wife and I participated in:  http://vantagepoint3.org/our-processes/the-journey/

ACT3 Cohort

In 2014 I attended John Armstrong’s ACT3 Cohort in Chicago, IL. This was an amazing learning experience, and one that changed me forever. I gained respect for theology and connected more with historic, orthodox Christianity. The reading material was very good and deeply impacted all of my own book writing. This cohort inspired me to be an author. It was so exciting to spend time with the likes of John and his friends such as George Koch. I loved speaking with James Danaher as well. I learned that accepting a person is not the same as accepting their doctrine. There is much value in relational unity and staying in the conversation. Here is a link to the ACT3 program:  http://www.act3network.com/cohorts/

Reformation Leadership Cohort

In 2015 I will be attending the Reformation Project cohort in Washington DC. I have already made new contacts and new friends through the application process. I am really excited about the next 4 months, culminating in a four day conference in our nation’s capital. Here is a link to Matthew Vine’s cohort:  http://www.reformationproject.org/conferences/apply

Final Thoughts

We know we are forgiven in Christ. Do we also know we are accepted in Christ? Do we show grace but withhold acceptance? Do you have someone in your life who accepts you completely? Do you accept other people completely? How can we better see that love resolves the paradox of accepting my self–my true, authentic, glorious, ugly, crazy, messy, wonderful self? What do the Holy Scriptures teach about acceptance?

Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives

“I then embarked on an amazing journey of recovery from the controlling, guilt-ridden, shame-soaked life we had lived in UBF. I was done with the holy soldier façade. This journey was not so different from the journey of Pi in the movie “Life of Pi” or Truman in the movie “The Truman Show” or the blind girl in the M. Night Shyamalan movie “The Village”. In fact I began watching many movies, especially children’s movies, because I found so many connections with the characters in the movies, such as Tangled. I felt I was Repunzel being set free from her castle tower! Finally I was at peace.

It would take a whole other narrative to tell this journey. So I will just point out some highlights. The journey actually began when I watched Mel Gibson’s movie “The Passion” in 2010. Through this, the gospel of Jesus was re-ignited in my soul. I realized that I had believed and preached an upside down, flawed gospel in UBF. I officially resigned from UBF in protest on July 4th, 2011. I chose that day specifically. It was my independence day. I began blogging profusely about my journey, on priestlynation.com, declaring my freedom from UBF and exposing the problems I saw. I tried not to fall into the trap of treating UBF people poorly, but at times I just needed to vent. I had kept silent so many times, and so my critical voice exploded on my blogs.” pg. 83

Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives

“Recalling the multitude of UBF entanglements (and there are many hundreds more) has been a difficult task because I just want to forget it all. It is embarrassing to realize how much I put up with. But it is also good and liberating to realize how free I am now! No longer do I need to put up with any UBF entanglements or authority.

So what was good about all those years in UBF? My wife and I had to first come to terms with our arranged marriage. Was this good? Is our marriage valid? We both agreed—yes our marriage is before God and is good and valid. The goodness I see in my 24 years of UBFism is that I weaved a cocoon around my life. And that cocoon became the housing for my transformational new life. But what was this cocoon exactly?

As I wrote this chapter I discovered something unexpected. Why did I stay 24 years at UBF if the spiritual abuse was rampant? The best answer may be that I was seeking glory and fame. The cocoon I wove around myself (with the help of UBF shepherds weaving it for me at times) could be called a cocoon of self-glorification. I wanted to be famous. I wanted attention. I wanted to be noticed. I believed the promises that convinced me to join UBF in the first place: your name will be great! You will be a world-class leader! My vision is large and my appetite for self-glory is huge. Yes there was no perceived way out of UBF, but as my grandmother pointed out, I did not want a way out. I wanted glory.

Ironically, I would eventually meet the fate of all self-glory seekers: infamy. I am now the infamous detractor and vocal critic of UBF ministry. Realizing all these things has brought much goodness and peace to my mind. At least I am starting to understand what happened.” pg 73

Unexpected Christianity: The Penguin Narratives

“I return now to that coffee shop meeting in Ann Arbor, with my friend from Toledo UBF. He was one of the leaders there. I hadn’t seen him or other members of Toledo UBF for many years, since we had moved from Toledo to Detroit. My friend was normally the one who would lighten up any situation with his dry sense of humor or intriguing perspectives. But now, the frustration on my friend’s face was real. How could this be? What would cause my Christian friend to be so exasperated? The truth was that I felt just as exasperated. I was still struggling with the growing disconnect between my supposed biblical worldview and the reality happening around me. I was still pondering that Christmas letter from Sarah, wondering how I could display integrity. My friend and I shared our various struggles. We both were wavering about whether we would attend the upcoming UBF conference. My friend’s wife had already declared she would not attend, due to the issues she saw in the ministry.

This decision was problematic. No one in the UBF ministry decided not to attend a UBF conference. Attendance was not explicitly mandatory, but always the expectation was “You want to please Jesus, don’t you?” As if the guilt wasn’t motivation enough to enforce attendance, the consequences of deciding not to attend a conference were painfully inconvenient: you would be labeled as rebellious; you might be removed from some of your duties; you might be given more duties as training to obey; and you likely would be mentioned in the next Sunday message as an example of losing faith. I had seen it many times. The UBF community would turn against its own; shaming and shunning the one perceived to be weak in faith for not participating actively in the UBF mission. My friend now wondered what would happen to his family if he attended the conference and his wife did not. Our UBF worldview was cracking. In the end, we both decided the best course of action would be that we would attend the 2011 Easter conference, hosted by Toledo UBF, and face the consequences.

I went to this conference with a mission of my own. I wanted to find out why several friends at Toledo UBF, like my friend at the Ann Arbor coffee shop, had been reaching out to me and sharing their struggles with me. I began to wonder, is there no Christian pastor in Toledo UBF? Is there no one there who could be trusted to speak openly with? So I went to this UBF conference with my family. And I decided test the waters, to ask questions and find out what was going on.” pg. 18

Consistent Readership

A big THANK YOU to all our readers and contributors in 2014. We appreciate your time to listen to us. And we enjoy seeing people submit articles on a  regular basis this year. We regularly had an average of 225 readers each day in 2014. This makes us a small community, but one with material that people are interested in.

Global Participation

Greetings to all our friends around the world! Did you find the translator plugin helpful at all? Should we keep the translator in 2015?

Top Viewed Articles

For 2014, these are the articles our readership was most interested in.

#1 – Benjamin L. Corey

Ben is a self-titled “formerly fundie“. More than anyone, his thoughts “nail it”, repeatedly. If we are indeed in an ephoch-change that only comes every 500 years, Ben should be recorded as one of the leading voices of that change. The church is far better off for his thoughts. Check out his incredible book (which I am in the process of reading)… Undiluted: Rediscovering the Radical Message of Jesus

#2 – Timothy Michael Kurek

Timothy did something courageous that sparked conversations that will likely last for decades if not longer. He disguised himself as a gay man and came out without telling his family about his experiment. He found out how gays are treated and documented his findings. His incredible book showed me how the cross of Jesus can be found in the closet. Timothy’s Facebook posts (usually lighthearted!) and discussions have edified me wonderfully throughout the year. Here is his groundbreaking book, endorsed by Desmond Tutu: The Cross in the Closet

#3 – Matthew Vines

Matthew’s passion for the bible and evangelical Christianity spawned the Reformation Project, and it was an incredible success. As gay man, he believes the bible does not condemn same sex marriage and that love is the driving force of Christianity.  It has been amazing to see Matthew work tenaciously to refine his theology and work to advance the kingdom where few have dared to go. His book is a great starting point to get an overview of issues gay Christians face: God and the Gay Christian.

Who has influenced you throughout this year? What did you learn? What Christ-like voices do you hear? Who do you think is helping the church to advance the gospel? 

Are you entangled?

I hope no one spends this holiday season agonizing over the question of whether to leave ubf or not. That is an important question, but the lie is that this question is of utmost importance. As a friend and pastor advised me, that question is not a life or death matter. What is far more important are questions like these: Am I entangled by the contradictions in the ubf heritage? Am I making my own decision, together with my wife? Do I care about the people closest to me? Am I facing the facts about my life and telling my authentic self-narrative?

True and False Logic

Humanity is rarely so simply understood that we can apply binary thinking. We are complex and confusing creatures! Still, true/false logic is immensely helpful in untangling your mind. Consider this.

Here are five logic forms:

1. implication – if P then Q [first statement implies truth of second]
2. contrapositive – if not Q then not P [reversal and negation of both statements]
3. inverse – if not P then not Q [negation of both statements]
4. converse – if Q then P [reversal of both statements]
5. negation – there is P and not Q [contradicts the implication]

So then:

If a statement is true, then its contrapositive is true (and vice versa).
If a statement is false, then its contrapositive is false (and vice versa).
If a statement’s inverse is true, then its converse is true (and vice versa).
If a statement’s inverse is false, then its converse is false (and vice versa).
If a statement’s negation is false, then the statement is true (and vice versa).
If a statement (or its contrapositive) and the inverse (or the converse) are both true or both false, it is known as a logical biconditional.

Application: Candy Canes

Consider this absurd conclusion based on two facts:

Fact 1: Red colorings are in candy canes.
Fact 2: Red Dye #3 is a red coloring.
Conclusion: Red Dye #3 is used in candy canes.

The only way for this conclusion to be true based on these two facts is if (and only if) candy canes use all possible red dyes. Because we know this is not true (or even possible), we know that there are red dyes not used in candy canes. It is very possible that Red Dye #3 is not used in candy canes at all. Perhaps Red Dye #12 is used. In any case the conclusion is false given the facts.

Application: You are God’s servant!

Here is one of many logical fallacies that kept me bound to the ubf lifestyle. I don’t care if you are reading this and stay at ubf or leave ubf. I do care deeply that you understand this logical fallacy.

Fact 1: There are God’s servants at ubf.
Fact 2: You were called as God’s servant at ubf.
Conclusion: You must stay at ubf in order to be God’s servants.

This is literally how the importance of being God’s servant was explained to me, along with numerous bible quotes. This conclusion is just as absurd as the dye used in candy canes. The only way this conclusion can be true given these facts is if (and only if) all God’s servants exist only at ubf. So if the sum total of all servants of God are at ubf, then the conclusion is correct. If there are any servants of God outside of ubf, this conclusion is a logical fallacy.

Again, the point is not to stay or leave, but to expose the false logic used by many bible teachers at ubf to convince people to stay loyal. If you stay at ubf, fine with me. But please stay for logical reasons!

How to spot a liar?

Beyond logic, we need to learn how to identify when someone is lying. This is usually easier in person. Here are some excellent readings for determining if people are telling the truth or lying to you:

1. Look for deceptive behaviors and responses within the first five seconds of asking a question.

2. Someone telling the truth will say immediately and plainly that they did not commit the crime.

3. Liars often respond to questions with truthful statements that cast them in a favorable light.

4. Liars often repeat a question to stall for time, go into attack mode against the questioner or butter up the questioner with compliments.

5. Nonverbal cues to lying include hiding the mouth or eyes, throat clearing or swallowing, grooming gestures like adjusting shirt cuffs, shifting weight around and sweating.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2012/08/13/how-to-tell-when-someone-is-lying/

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/10-ways-catch-liar

http://www.businessinsider.com/11-signs-someone-is-lying-2014-4

1. Mission above family

After more than 3 years of reflection, I would say the most harmful teaching I learned from Samuel Lee was to treat mission from God as more important than family and friends. More than anything else, this warped, non-Christian teaching influenced my life negatively. I am still dealing with the effects of over 20 years of this teaching. To teach that mission from God is more important than relationships with family and friends is to deny the very mission Jesus came to give us.

2. Fear of man

SL did influence people greatly, sometimes for good. But from a non-Chicago, non-Korean perspective the one word that describes SL is fear. We feared him. We were always on edge around him. When I visited his office and prayed with him for about half an hour once, I was highly fearful. This fear of him was intended to plant fear of God in people. But that logic doesn’t work out in the end. Such fear only creates a personality cult around you. And planting fear is not what Christ came for. The Messiah’s work is about liberation, as He declared wonderfully in His mission statement in Luke 4.

3. Contradictions

One of the best and most helpful things I learned from several Christian pastors the last few years is to identify contradictions. If someone says something, are they contradicting themselves? Are they contradicting the Scriptures? Are they contradicting my conscience? Are they contradicting the Spirit of God? Are their actions contradictory to their teaching? Do they contradict the greatest law, which is the law of love?  I can say clearly that when it comes to SL’s teachings, the answer to all these questions is “yes”. The ubf heritage that grew up around SL is so full of contradictions I would need an entire blog to explain them all (oh wait I already have one…)

One good example of contradictions in SL’s teachings is about pragmatism. I once ate a Big Mac on a bus in Moscow with Samuel Lee. He went on and on about how we should not be pragmatic, how such widespread pragmatism is the problem of Russian people. And yet SL taught us to make God into a vending machine by earning God’s blessings through “doing one-to-one” and “going back to the bible”. This is one of the most pragmatic things anyone could do.

So yes, there were good things SL did. He was passionate and influential. But my life stands as a representative of all the entanglements SL’s teaching placed on young people around the world for over 50 years. ubf ministry continues to be a ministry of yokes. So many yokes of burden are placed around people’s necks that they have no time to learn how to love the people closest to them.

May God set you free from such teachings. May many more come to see the liberating power of the gospel of Jesus Christ!

How does Satan work?

1. To incite pride

In 1 Chronicles 21:1 we read the story of David counting his fighting men. The text says that Satan rose up against Israel and incited David to take a census of Israel. Taking a census or counting our blessings is not necessarily a bad thing. But when such things incite us to pride and dependence on our own security, the bible says counting our strengths is a bad thing. So if you are obsessed with counting numbers that show your strength, you might be doing the work of Satan.

2. To blind people’s eyes

2 Corinthians 4:3-4 says the “the god of this age” has blinded people’s eyes. Satan hides things and is deceptive. Satan does not want people to see clearly. So if you are unwilling to discuss matters openly, try to manipulate who knows what information and would rather remain behind closed doors, you might be doing the work of Satan.

3. To tempt

In Matthew 4 we read the story of Satan tempting Jesus. Satan tempts Jesus to give into his fleshly desire for food in order to prove his identity. Satan tempts Jesus to test God’s protection. And the third time Satan tempts Jesus to gain the world just by bowing down to him to prove his loyalty. So if you are asking people to prove their identity as Christians, asking them to take unreasonable actions while trusting in God’s protection or promising grandiose blessings in exchange for loyalty, you might be doing Satan’s work.

4. To persecute

Peter warned that the devil sought to devour Christians through persecutions, as we read in 1 Peter 5:8-9. Satan is seen as a prowling lion, roaring angrily. To persecute is to harass constantly, to subject someone to hostility and ill-treatment, especially because of their race or political or religious beliefs. So if you are continually shaming those who claim to listen to the Holy Spirit for spiritual direction, appeasing those who want to celebrate the Christian sacraments or de-friending those who claim to obey the authority of Jesus and call out authoritarianism, you might be doing Satan’s work.

5. To afflict

In Job we read the story of Satan afflicting an innocent man. Job 2:7 says “So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head.” We cannot say all afflictions from Satan, but painful afflictions generally are one of the methods Satan loves to employ. So if you are taking joy in causing pain, suffering or trouble for other people, you might be doing Satan’s work.

6. To accuse

The bible calls Satan the “accuser”. Zechariah 3:1 says “Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him.” Satan delights in accusing, heaping guilt upon guilt on the souls of humans. So if you enjoy putting guilt-trips on people around you, you might be doing the work of Satan.

7. To bind

Jesus mentioned the work of binding in relation to Satan. In Luke 13:16 Jesus was recorded as saying, “Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?” Bondage and enslavement and entanglement are not things of God. Jesus’ mission was liberation. So if you are propagating slogans that bind people’s lives with your methodologies, constantly expecting people to stay in your church, or intertwining people’s lives through arranged marriages, you might be doing Satan’s work.

8. To betray

The great climax of the story of Judas was when Satan entered him and he betrayed Jesus. John 13:27 says, “As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” Betrayal is something we all end up doing at some point. It’s human nature. But it is also a scheme of Satan. If we find ourselves repeatedly betraying the trust of family members or friends, we might be doing the work of Satan.

9. To lie

Satan is called the Father of Lies in the bible. In Acts 5:3 we read Peter’s assessment of Ananias: “Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land?” If you are giving people false promises, leaving out facts from stories, insisting on one perspective that trumps everyone else’s perspective or sweeping hundreds of authentic stories of people’s lives under the rug, you might be doing Satan’s work.

10. To display power

2 Thessalonians 2:9-10 describes another method of Satan: “The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with how Satan works. He will use all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that serve the lie, and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved.” So if you love displaying your own power, your own glorious history and you continually seek signs and wonders from the weather and the universe around you, you might be doing Satan’s work.

Questions

What else does the bible say about Satan? How can we discern and avoid Satan’s work? What is God’s work? And how does all this fit in with our work?

Monster Energy drink: evil?

This week I watched a video of a Christian pointing out how drinking the Monster energy drink means supporting the antichrist. This made me think: What happened to Christianity? There was a time when Christians affirmed the good they found in society. But today the self-appointed Christian role seems to be to discover hidden messages and point out what they think is not inline with Christian behavoir.

Dr. Who and the Gospel

Pointing out hidden 666 messages (which could actually be seen as Hebrew 777 messages :) may be needed. But I find it more edifying to affirm the gospel messages I come across. For example, I’m a huge Dr. Who fan. And the latest Dr. Who series has shown me some glimpses of the gospel.

Cybermen: Example of religious zealots

The Cybermen in Dr.Who are essentially living robots, built from uniform suits of steel and remnants of human beings. They have two main goals:

1) to recruit new humans to be upgraded to a better person
2) to delete anyone who resists being upgraded.

The Cybermen also used emotional inhibitors. An emotional inhibitor was a device placed into all Cybermen. The device allowed a human brain to exist without suffering a meltdown of overwhelming emotions. This inhibitor allowed the Cybermen to carry out its two goals more efficiently.

Love resists conversion

When people fight back and resist being converted, it is love that provides the resistence. In one TV episode, a man used love for his son to resist, which overloaded the emotional inhibitors of the six Cybermen trying to convert him, resulting in their destruction.

Gospel Love

Some examples of gospel love can be seen in the Doctor himself. For example, this recent TV conversation was stunning to watch.

The Doctor: You betrayed me. You betrayed our trust, you betrayed our friendship, you betrayed everything that I’ve ever stood for. You let me down!

Clara: Then why are you helping me?

The Doctor: Why? Do you think that I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?

Cyber tears

I know of at least three examples of Cybermen doing good actions. One episode showed a Cyberman crying while sacrificing himself to help the Doctor. Two more examples are in the latest Dr.Who episode. One Cyberman used his love for his daughter to motivate him to protect the world. Another Cyberman used his love for his girlfriend to rescue a boy from the Nethersphere.

Monday questions

Are there glimpses of the gospel among ubf chapters? If so, what have you seen? Who are the leaders with “cyber tears” who will step forward and take action for the good of the ubf organization? What good changes can we affirm among ubf leaders? What gospel messages have you seen displayed, such as peace, forgiveness and repentance?

Chris Tomlin

“Amazing Grace My Chains Are Gone”

New Life Worship

“The Great I Am”

Ezekiel 16

My bible search began of course with the famous six “clobber passages”. These are the six knives that have been stabbed into the hearts of so many gay people around the world, even used to justify laws for jail or death for being gay.

The first one I Genesis 19, the Sodom and Gomorrah story. Like most bible readers, I just assumed the sin of Sodom that angered God was homosexuality. But then I read Ezekiel 16:49-50, and that entire chapter.

“’Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.” (NIV)

Now certainly the same-sex gang rape incident described in Genesis 19 was detestable. It is described as an abomination in other translations. But what is the primary sin described here? They were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned. They did not help the poor and needy. I do not think God is pleased with sexual perversion, but the sin that gets the God of the bible really furious is arrogance and apathy.

Dr. David Gushee

Recently the Reformation Project welcomed a conservative theologian Dr. David Gushee and scheduled him as their keynote speaker for their Washington DC conference in November.  Here are some priceless quotes from this Distinguished University Professor of Christian Ethics at Mercer University, a Baptist college and divinity school in Georgia.

“I do join your crusade tonight,” Gushee’s prepared remarks say, according to a draft obtained by Religion News Service. “I will henceforth oppose any form of discrimination against you. I will seek to stand in solidarity with you who have suffered the lash of countless Christian rejections. I will be your ally in every way I know how to be.”

Gushee says the journey to his current position has been a long and winding one. During the first two decades of his academic career, he maintained a traditional view of sexuality and “hardly knew a soul who was not heterosexual.” As he worked on issues such as torture and climate change, his attention was drawn to other issues — slavery, segregation, defamation of Jews, subjugating women — for which Christians once cited Scripture for their entrenched positions.

Then in 2008, his younger sister, Katey, came out as a lesbian. She is a Christian, single mother, and had been periodically hospitalized for depression and a suicide attempt. It made him realize that “traditionalist Christian teaching produces despair in just about every gay or lesbian person who must endure it.”

“It is difficult to overstate the potential impact of Gushee’s defection. His Christian ethics textbook, “Kingdom Ethics,” co-authored with the late Glen Stassen, is widely respected and was named a 2004 Christianity Today book of the year. He serves as theologian-in-residence for the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, a coalition of 15 theological schools, 150 ministries, and 1,800 Baptist churches nationwide.”

source

My Fourth Book

I plan on continuing to read, discuss, debate and explore this topic. I plan to expound on three big reasons why Christianity needs gay people, and why same-sex marriage is not the problem, but the solution. There is not only an “elephant in the room” of the kingdom of God, there is a Lion. Thoughts? Questions? Challenges?

This is from a SL worship service lecture.

“Today we are gathered here to remember Dr. Samuel Lee who was our teacher, shepherd, and most of all, a good soldier of Christ Jesus. It has been thirteen years since he entered the heavenly gate like a victorious general after fighting the good fight.  We miss him so much.”

>> Are you gathered to remember SL or to worship him? I can’t tell the difference. 13 years? SL died in a fire in Chicago in February 2002. That was 12 years ago.

“Today’s passage is Paul’s personal admonition to Timothy. These words are also fitting for us who serve Campus pioneering and world mission. I pray that we may renew our soldier spirit and be good soldiers of Christ Jesus.”

>> So you admit that you serve the mission. At least you are being clear. Your ministry places mission above people. You are willing to sacrifice people for the sake of mission. This does not sound like Christ who had compassion for people.

“Apostle Paul reminds Timothy of his spiritual identity as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. A Christian is a soldier whose commander is Jesus Christ.”

>> Ok so yes a solider is one metaphor used in the bible to describe Christians. Are there others?

“A Christian’s goal is to fight against his enemies and defeat them.”

>> Well no, that is the goal of a terrorist. The goal of Christians, according to the bible is to love. Christ won the victory already.

“Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against Satan.”

>> Ok yes that is correct. There is a battle. Our enemy is not people.

“We have to fight against our sinful desires to enjoy worldly pleasures and complacency. We also have to engage in the spiritual battle to rescue God’s flock from their sin and Satan. Moreover, we have to engage in the one to one battle to pioneer college campuses around the world, expanding his kingdom work.”

>> Wait, what? You just said our enemy is Satan, not people. Yet now my “self” is the enemy? Now the campus is a battlefield?

“Then, what kind of attitude should we have as good soldiers of Christ Jesus?”

>> Wow, what a loaded question, proof-texted by your own claims prior to asking the question!

“Paul says, “Join me in suffering.” It means first, to participate in Jesus’ suffering.  Jesus came to earth to live a life of suffering. Jesus prayed early in the morning, healed many people with all kinds of diseases, fed them and taught them until he  became like a root out of dry ground (Isa 53:2).  Finally, Jesus went to the cross at the age of 33.”

>> Yea, Jesus did those things. He also did a lot of other things that did not involve suffering. He made wine at a wedding. He ate grain from the field on Sunday. He slept in a boat during a storm. And many many other wonderful things.

“Jesus’ life itself was suffering. Paul also learned from Jesus and lived a life of suffering.  He was in prison, flogged severely and exposed to death many times.  Five times he received the forty lashes minus one. He was hungry and thirsty (2Cor 11:23-27). But he confessed in Romans 8:18, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Our suffering secures a crown of righteousness and glory. Therefore, soldiers of Jesus Christ should not be afraid of suffering but enjoy it with joy.”

>> Now you are binding our minds incorrectly and unnecessarily to suffering using the bible as glue. We should not be afraid of suffering, correct. But life does not equal suffering only. That is more of an Eastern philosophical value proof-texted with bible verses. Jesus came to give us life to the full.

“Second, “Join me in suffering” means you will receive training.”

>> WTF? Oh yeah, you must mean the ubf six stage training.

“A good soldier matches his training.  Whether you are a good soldier or not largely depends on the degree of the training you receive, not on human conditions.  In order to become a foot soldier, you will receive 6 weeks of basic training. But in order to become an officer, you have to receive 4 months of officer training.  In the case when you want to become a special force soldier, you will receive unbearable training. One example of survival training is where you are left alone on a mountain with only a knife and map to survive by eating snakes and rats.  Through receiving this special training, soldiers can survive in any circumstances and carry on any given mission.”

>> So now we are in la-la land. What are you talking about?

“Since we regard UBF as a spiritual academy, we use many military-related words such as “training,” “battle,” and “conquer.” We have received many types of spiritual training such as “Daily Bread training,” “message training,” “testimony writing training,” “Skokie training,” or “one to one training.” Dr. Lee called himself, “army sergeant” who raised spiritual generals, and trained many shepherds. Through this training in the early days of UBF, many UBF staff shepherds and senior missionaries were raised. Dr. Lee wore army clothes with a beret on his head and rode a Jeep because he considered himself a field commander in the front line of world mission. We must inherit this soldier spirit to love training and suffering in order to send 100,000 missionaries to 233 nations.”

>> Thank you. This is the best documentation of KOPHAN theology I’ve come across. At least you are bold enough to document it.

“Unfortunately, when God blessed South Korea abundantly, she began to have a spiritual crisis of materialism, hedonism, and complacency. The Christian population has now dropped from 12 million to 8.5 million. It is hard to meet one sheep and raise him as a disciple and so Korea UBF is seeing a constant drop in student Sunday worshipers. However, I have hope when I see God’s work done through a small number of trained soldiers who have soldier spirit both in South Korea and around the world.”

>> So how did we get to South Korea so quickly? Clearly you are on your own soapbox and not teaching us about the bible or Christianity. Your words sound like a certain group in Germany a few decades ago.

“There are many shepherds in UBF who are on fire about God and feed 15 to 20 one to ones per week. They are called one to one zealots. There is a shepherdess in Kwan-Ak chapter III.  It seems to be impossible to fish SNU medical students because they study all the time.  So she went fishing at 11PM when the medical school library closed.  In this way, several ancestors of faith were raised and now 40 families were established in Kwan-Ak chapter III.  Around her, there are many women coworkers who are one to one zealots, and every day they engage in united prayer and go out fishing, and in this way they invite 50 freshmen each year. Among them, 12 future leadership candidates are chosen to have common life. As a result, the number in Sunday worship grows constantly. Among 130 worship attendants, 80 of them are students. While the student attendants in most Korean UBF chapters are decreasing, Kwan-Ak chapter 3 is ever growing.”

>> Yes, thank you for admitting the problem: zealots. Way to heap guilt upon the heads of all your fellow ubfers.

“There are many one to one zealots in El Camino UBF.  I heard that they had 320 one to ones last week.  I think we should all be greatly challenged by that.  I pray that we may also learn their one to one zealot spirit so that we may overcome this stagnant time of ministry and revive it.”

>> Well, perhaps you should visit El Camino UBF and see what they are really doing…From what I can tell they have rejected a lot of SL’s teachings and are practicing Christianity. Maybe that is why they are now attracting people?

“I was called as a Gwang-ju staff shepherd just after accepting Christ 2 years and 10 months earlier.  But at that time I was not mature enough. Thus, God trained me severely.  Dr. Lee tried to help my marriage problem and brought a shepherdess from Seoul all the way to Gwangju upon my agreement. But my heart turned cold and I refused to marry her.  Another time, I came back from Jun-ju after successfully passing my ministry onto the successor. Dr. Lee told me that I would work in the daily bread department as an office worker since I lacked the intelligence to become a staff shepherd but had the faithfulness to be a good office worker. At that time, I was very confident as a staff shepherd since I was successful in Jun-ju ministry growing the number from 80 to 130. Upon hearing his words, my pride was hurt and I became upset. So I told him, “I was not called as an office worker but as a staff shepherd.”  As a result, I had to bounce a volley ball to the ground for three hours in the staff conference.”

>> Wow you are really good at praising yourself. And you admit you have endured such abuse. Your self-glory statements go on and on in the next paragraph. In fact this whole thing seems like you are trying to justify the abuse done to you…

“Among the sacrificial shepherds, S. Ok-ki Lee was an intern shepherd. He was the first UBF 1:1 zealot, who did 25-30 one to ones per week.  He then was scouted by Dr. Lee and sent to Jong-ro center as an intern shepherd under S. Maria Ahn.  S. John Park, staff shepherd of Gwang-ju 2 came to center from his freshman year. He received a full 4 year scholarship to Cho-sun law school and is a gifted scholar and a servant of God’s Word.  His chapter has 110 Sunday attendants. Dr. David Park is the layman staff shepherd who serves Gwangju III focusing on Chodae medical and dental schools. He has raised numerous medical doctor shepherds, including three professor shepherds in Chodae medical school and six medical missionaries. People used to call Chodae hospital, “UBF hospital.” They have 120 Sunday attendants.”

>> Nice. More guilt-trips for your audience.

“…I give my praise, thanks and glory to God who saved this sinner, and who called and trained me to be a useful servant of God.”

>> Was it God who trained you? Or SL?

“Let us renew our soldier spirit as good soldiers of Christ Jesus and love training and suffering to become strong warriors of faith.  In this way, I pray that we may recover our passion for one to one Bible studies and carry on our mission to send out 100,000 missionaries to 233 nations. Let’s read verse 3 together. “Join me in suffering like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.”

>> Maybe you should recover your passion for Christianity and Jesus instead? Maybe you might one day view people as more than a means to preserving your heritage?

So maybe one day ubfers will give up this SL praising and worshiping. Their latest report tells me that God cursed the latest SL worship.

92 Comments

I posted the following to an online discussion area.

“Ok so I’ve been condemned to hell. Again. Apparently I’m on the broad road of unhappiness. It’s been 3 years since I left evangelicalism behind… I’ve never been happier but how do you cope with the continual condemnation remarks?”

I did not know what to expect. What happened was eye-opening. Within hours, nearly 50 people liked my post. And 92 comments ensued rapidly. Apparently quite a few people can relate to being told we are on the “road to eternal unhappiness” (those were the exact words written to me earlier this week, words that prompted my post above).

Ignore them

What was the most common response to my question? Ignore them. It was highly cathartic for me to see a swift response to my thoughts. Yet I was stunned to learn that a lot of people are just ignoring the Evangelical/Conservative Christian rendering of the gospel. People are no longer motivated by fear–even the fear of hell. People are not persuaded by moralism. People are looking for much more than obedience to a prescribed religious system. They seem to want relationship. (Yes that was your broad-sweeping over-generalized statement of the day…)

Becoming a pagan Christ-follower

It’s becoming quite clear that I am not a church person. In light of the Evangelical/Conservative Christian rendering of the gospel, I am becoming a pagan. And yet I know Christ lives in me. I have never understood Scripture more comprehensively. I have never been so peaceful and content in my inner being. I never tire of explaining, expounding and examining the amazing, all-surpassing, effervescent, joyful new wine gospel found in the bible. And yet I am outside the gates of the church.

Because I spent so much time in community, I am compelled to take some years to detox and learn how to live alone before returning to a community. I find that the online, virtual communities such as ubfriends and outlaw preachers, helps me in my journey. I am reminded of Bonhoeffer’s words today. In his book, “Life Together” in the chapter entitled “The Day Alone”, pg 83, Bonhoeffer wrote:

“We recognize, then, that only as we stand within the community can we be alone, and only those who are alone can live in the community. Both belong together. Only in the community do we learn to be properly alone; and only in being alone do we learn to live properly in the community. It is not as if one preceded the other; rather both begin at the same time, namely, with the call of Jesus Christ.”

Are people ignoring your gospel? Are you able to live alone with yourself? Do you have a community, either virtual or real-life, to express yourself? How does your community help you and assist in your life? What ways have you noticed people outside the church reacting to the church teachings?

An Interview

Fix 3 Things

After watching many of these shows, it is clear that fixing a restaurant comes down to three practical matters: food, service and cleanliness. The owners are almost always in denial about these things. They think their food is the best. But Irvine, a professional cook, tells them almost every time “Your food sucks”. This may sound harsh, but only the direct approach seems to wake people up and lead them out of denial. If you have great food, people will come to your restaurant.

But great food is not enough. You need to have good service. Robert pays attention to online reviews of restaurants and tries to figure out a marketing plan for them. The owners tend to be in denial about this too. Their servers think they are doing a good job. Almost always Robert finds that 1 or 2 people are doing 90% of the work. Most people are just lazy and are focused on their own problems. They take a paycheck but they don’t clean and they don’t serve guests with respect and cheerful disposition.

In short, the food, the service and the cleanliness are evidences that people have checked out. They don’t care anymore and just want their money so they can go home and get away from the restaurant. Robert bluntly shows them the bad food, the bad service and the dirty areas of the restaurant. Until those are addressed, the owners will keep failing.

The One Thing that Counts Most

The theme that is unmistakable is that one thing overshadows all other problems. Relationships. The owners and staff are almost always broken in some major way. And every time, Robert zeroes in on those relationships. One phrase that he repeats often is this: “I can fix your food, I can clean your restaurant, I can train your staff to clean, but I cannot fix this, your relationship. That is up to you.” Robert shows the owners what’s wrong and what’s right, and does so with bold courage and gentle kindness. He exposes their painpoints. But he leaves the decisions up to the owners. It is their restaurant. He can set them on a course for success, but ongoing success depends on how well the owners work together and with their staff.

These relationships are so important that Robert keeps in contact with them even after leaving them. He even stays in contact if the restaurant fails. In just two days, he cannot fix all the problems, but he can set them on a course for success. And most importantly, in two days, he can build a relationship with them. Usually the owners hate him at first, and end up either loving him or at least highly respecting him in the end.

The show is highly emotional, so if you watch it, have a box of tissue nearby!

Success Rate

This all sounds good, but how successful has Irvine been? He mentions a 65% success rate in the interview above, over the course of helping 100 restaurants. You might initially think this is not so great. But compare 65% to .3%. Back in 2010, we discussed Joe’s article about success rate at ubf being .3 percent. Such a small success rate tells me the ubf system has failed and is failing. Joe’s words are still relevant in 2014: “Instead of assuming that it’s okay to sift through massive numbers of students to find the 0.3 percent that can remain among us, perhaps it’s time to stop, reflect upon ourselves, and consider how to reach at least some portion of the other 99.7 percent.”

Can you see any correlation to the church? What might a pastor learn from Irvine? Have you watched this show? What are your thoughts about Robert’s approach?

Dear Ethics & Accountability Committee,

There was a problem with the formatting of yesterday’s email, so I’m reformatting it. As I indicated yesterday, I’m not interested in “normal” email interaction. I am seeking a thoughtful response in the coming weeks from the committee after you’ve had a chance to meet and discuss my three requests.

(I am copying some of my friends on this email; please read the public content disclaimer below)

As someone who spent 24 years committed to ubf ministry, who lead my family and fellowship at ubf faithfully and ethically for decades, and who is still highly invested in ubf ministry even after leaving in 2011, I am asking you as a committee to consider three requests seriously, honestly and openly.

1. Can you please make the Ethics & Accountability contact info public?

Some ubf members have asked me from time to time how to contact you. I am grateful that Alan posted a new email address on our ubfriends.org blog recently, so I’m using that email. I will continue to give out your email addresses when asked. However, your own organization members are having difficulty understanding and finding your contact info. You might want to consider a phone number or TXT number also, since some of your members need some immediate help and cannot wait for email replies.

2. Will you please find a way to address people leaving your organization?

I just finished another coaching session for one of your student leaders. Over the course of the last 7 days, this person reached out to me daily as they left your ministry. In this case, they left peacefully. This process has happened numerous times over the past 3 years. It is painful for me to do this but I do it joyfully because people are eager to know the truth about various issues affecting your organization. And they are adults capable of making their own decisions. This particular person was amazed to find that there are good Christians outside your organization. I plan on continuing my exit counseling. But I hope you will intentionally and publicly open the door for people to leave and end the permanent shepherd/sheep relationships if they want.

3. Would you please read my 3 books? http://www.amazon.com/Brian-Karcher/e/B00JAPPDEO

The rumors about me and my family have been wild to say the least. Some have considered us the “anti-Christ” and “doing Satan’s work” or “possibly filled with an evil spirit”. Most have simply ignored us, dismissed us and act as though we are dead. But we are not dead. Please read my three books and consider my perspective on my life as having at least some validity. News media has contacted me about my books, and I will speak to them when they contact me again. I am willing to do an open book signing/Q&A any time you would like and that fits our schedules.

I love our Lord Jesus the same as you do. I love the Holy Scriptures as you do. And I am compelled to act by the Holy Spirit.

Grace and peace,

Brian Karcher
http://about.me/brianjkarcher

*** Disclaimer: The content of this email is intended to be public and anything written in this email or in reply to this may be used in public blogs.

Book 1 – Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives

In my first book, I was inspired by a simple word Jesus spoke. “Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!” Luke 12:24 ESV. I found that ravens are fascinating birds. They are scavengers though, and have typically been depicted as symbols of evil in many books. Jesus said to consider the ravens, so I did.

In this book I shared my exploration of midrash, telling the story of Jacob and Esau from what I think might have been Esau’s perspective. I shared what I was learning about the gospel of Jesus, based on numerous books and my new bible study classes I was taking. In the final chapter, I shared a long version of my life story, from my perspective and without spinning tales of glory. This whole process was a baseline to reset my personal life narrative. The book is dedicated to my late father who died of ALS in 1989. And as with all three books, I asked for artwork from my parents (and later from my daughter).

Book 2 – Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives

In my second book, I shared all the things I wanted to put in my first book, but didn’t have the thoughts or the courage. I explore three burning questions: Why did I join UBF? Why did I stay at UBF over two decades? And why did I leave UBF? I found that my search for goodness, my father’s death, and my own self-absorbed thinking contributed to all three questions.

This book was frustrating to write, and ends rather abruptly. I was not happy with this book at the time because it stirred up so many emotions. As I analyzed the UBF theology called KOPHAN, “kingdom of priests and holy nation” I became more and more furious at having been duped out of believing the Christian gospel that Jesus preached. Still I was able to document, for the first time as far as I am aware, the main components of KOPAHN. I explain in detail and with personal experience the recruiting principles of UBF missionaries (such as low commitment/high reward promises), the six-stage training system, the three layers of burden placed on new recruits, the four elements of control woven throughout the UBF culture, and the twelve heritage slogans that all UBF people will instantly recognize. All this is the UBF-style shepherding theology called KOPAHN. All this stroked my own narcissistic desires for fame and glory. After writing all this, I found that the process, though messy, was very good for my soul.

Book 3 – Unexpected Christianity: The Penguin Narratives

In my third book, I attempt to connect with Christianity. I do so by weaving in the story of my family’s move to Detroit from Toledo, stories from 2003 to 2012. I tell what happened when we were sent out by Toledo UBF, how people in Toledo UBF would share various struggles with me, and in painful detail, I share what happened as my family slipped away from UBF in “blaze of glory” fashion. One of the sparks for our departure that I describe is ironically Sarah Barry’s 2011 new year’s card, where she prayed for all UBF missionaries to be men and women of integrity. My third book tells my journey to be just that—a man of integrity.

I am most pleased with my third book. I get a lot off my chest in this book. And it was the most painful to write. But it shows in vivid detail how I was able to find faith, hope and love again—the faith, hope and love that Christianity is supposed to be all about. I dedicated this book to myself, because Jesus said to love your enemy.

Who am I?

These three books tell the story of my search for who I am. If you want to know me, or understand why I did what I did, please read my books. If there is any “one way” forward for UBF ministry, I suggest for your consideration that the one way begins with reading my books. You might just find Jesus all over again. Thanks for listening. My story is complete. My journey now takes an entirely new turn. And I am happy.

My Binder is Bigger than Your Binder

I remember how awestruck we were when one ubf shepherd brought a 4 inch white binder to Sunday service! He opened it wide and took notes during the service. We were so impressed because before then the standard was a 1 inch binder for bible study notes. This style of bible study notes was not just back in the 1980’s, but in Toledo ubf we carried on the tradition into the 90’s and 2000’s. I think only in the last decade did people start bringing laptops to bible study.

Binder Judging Day

Not only were ubf shepherds required to bring their binders (white was the only acceptable color) to bible study, we had several binder judging days. We brought our best binders full of notes and they were displayed on long tables. Those (like me) with some unfinished binders were shamed.

Paper, Scissors and Glue

All this was of course before the widespread use of computers. But being a Computer Science Engineering major, I had a PC. I bought it from Sears and was one of the first ubf shepherds to use the bible electronically and to print out notes entirely from the PC. Some rebuked this as unspiritual and sinful. The proper way of preparing notes was to cut the question sheet up into strips of paper, glue or tape them onto lined paper, and use a pen to write the answers. Some even said using a pencil was unspiritual because a pencil could be erased and changed. A pen was permanent and would last longer.

Android Phone

As a shocking contrast to all this, I decided to take ONLY my Android phone to any meetings I had with ubf people after leaving the ministry (yes I had several meetings). I have access to many bible translations, many books via Kindle, and the entire wealth of the internet on my phone. And best of all: I could live blog instantly if anything went wrong at the meetings :)

Anyone else remember the binders? Any stories you would like to share about how bible study is conducted at ubf? Regardless of the binders or laptops, what kind of bible study do you have?

The Message

If you want to read the original message delivered in August 2014 at Toledo UBF, here is the link:

Jesus Christ is the Same Yesterday and Today and Forever
Hebrews 13:1-25

My Critique

“I’ve read through the messages you studied over the past five months, and have come to see two things: First, Jesus is better. Secondly, faith in Jesus is the secret of bridging the gap between what we know and how we live.”

I have read through those same messages. The thoughts that come to mind are that those messages are vague, full of ubf loaded language and pathetically void of the gospel messages. So this messenger noticed two things. Jesus is better. Better than what? The Hebrews author makes it very clear what is better and why it is better. And this messenger saw that the secret sauce is “faith in Jesus”. This secret sauce is supposedly what binds the ubf fantasy world (what we know) and the reality around us (how we live). “faith in Jesus” is loaded language for “just believe the ubf heritage without thinking critically”.

“How can we conclude today? Looking at chapter 13 there are many key verses. How can our hearts be strengthened? How can we live as salt and light in a dark and corrupt world? How can we work together with our leaders, and go back to the Bible? The answer is Jesus. Let’s think about him as we conclude this study today.”

Here we have the standard Evangelical thinking “Jesus is the one and only answer to everything and all life’s problems.” We also have more ubf code language. “go back to the bible”… “work together with our leaders”…

“Verse 1 reads, “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.”  In this verse he is talking about Phileo love, or as C.S. Lewis defines it in his book “Four Loves”: Friendship. In Christ, a beautiful community of faith is established among those who believe. This produces an affection for one another. Out of this community of loving and sharing, real and genuine friendships should emerge. What is friendship? One brother in Chicago told me, “I can agape love people by bearing with them, but to actually love them as a brother requires that I like them, get along with them and enjoy being with them. That is much harder.”

This doesn’t smell right to me. C.S. Lewis seems far deeper and more profound than this simplistic idea presented here. We must “get along with them”? We have to enjoy them and like them? This just seems way too simple-minded for me. Lewis surely had a more robust thought in his book.

“I understand. There are many people whom I respect and would trust my life to, but we don’t really have a friendship. Who are your friends?”

At least here the messenger honestly communicates the reality around him. This is the norm for ubf people; they claim to “trust each other unto death” but don’t have even a beer-buddy level of friendship. The reality unspoken here is that ubf people will drop you like an anchor as soon as you question the ubf heritage or display “disloyalty”.

“In church we often put community above friendship, since community is inclusive, while friendship tends to be exclusive. In today’s world people have hundreds of Facebook friends but are so lonely. Some complain, “I don’t have any friends.” The trouble is, friendship isn’t about solving our needs or loneliness.”

Again, I appreciate the honesty here; ubf is a community that disparages actual friendships. Ubf is an environment where “community” comes first. I can hear the messenger’s lonely heart crying out here. “Some complain…” that is ubf messenger speak for “I complain… I am the one who is lonely…”

“Jesus loved us sacrificially and one-sidedly. But Jesus also had friends, his disciples. What was their friendship about? He tells them in John 15:14-15, “You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵ I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” Jesus’ friends are those who share in his Father’s business. Who are your friends? To keep such love dynamically in our community, we take a risk to share our hearts.”

After a veiled expression of his own loneliness, the messenger now justifies his friendless and superficial life with the classic ubf verse John 15:14-15. Friendship cannot be separated from obedience in the ubf mind. In the ubf mind, we must imitate this—calling people our servants first and then hoping they obey us until we can break through and have friendship. But this path is not what Jesus is prescribing here. Jesus is teaching about His Lordship, something this messenger fails to grasp in the slightest.

“Verse 2 reads, “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” What is hospitality? “the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.” In those days such hospitality carried great weight, as inns were few and far between, and generally houses of ill-repute. Welcoming a stranger may seem burdensome, especially to wives, who sometimes think there is an expectation to have a perfectly manicured home and deliciously extravagant meal. But fundamentally hospitality is a welcoming attitude. Jesus had no home. But Jesus had a spirit of hospitality, and taught his disciples to practice this: “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me (9:37).” When we invite a stranger into our home, we may be welcoming one of Jesus’ angels. He may send “secret strangers,” to see if we will welcome them. This gives a unique opportunity to reveal Jesus in our world today.”

Ugh… more ubf loaded language. Ubf makes a BIG DEAL about “welcoming strangers”. You must open your house after a conference to “welcome guests” and “show hospitality”. Otherwise you are disobeying Jesus and you won’t want to disobey Jesus right? The messenger now goes into what I call “drone mode”. He just repeatedly fires bible verses and a flippant, unthoughtful response to each verse. But one stands out:

“Verse 4 reads, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” In that time, ascetics felt it was better not to marry, and that marriage was an unnecessary indulgence since Jesus would come back soon. But God created marriage before sin came into the world. Marriage supersedes the fall, and the law and the church. He who does not honor marriage does not honor God who created marriage. Jesus described his coming as a wedding banquet, and Paul said our marriage reflects the mystery of Christ’s union with the church. Do I honor my marriage? Since it is a private thing, we may not think it important. But God knows, and what he has joined together, man should not separate. Included in this is healthy sexual behavior. Society changes moral standards and even redefines marriage. But we honor our marriages, knowing that God’s standard and blessing in marriage does not change.”

Really??? You gotta be kidding me! ubf “honors marriage”? Not after you get married. After marriage you are expected to live like single college students! What about all the arranged marriages and threats of divorce or threats of not being able to marry someone you like? I’m so furious I will refrain from my litany of wrath since I’m posting this publicly…

“Second, spiritual leadership and the word of God (7-19). Verse 7 reads, “Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.” This seems to indicate past leaders whose life of faith was now over and subject to examination. Their way of life led to a glorious outcome: a fruitful and victorious life resulting in the kingdom of God. Why was it so? They put their faith in Jesus Christ. The world changes all the time. Situations and methods change, but Jesus never changes. Verse 8 reads, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Faith in Jesus includes our faithful ancestors into the hallowed halls of the heroes of faith. The question is: how can we imitate their faith in unchanging Jesus, and pass that faith on to those who follow us?”

Can anyone say ancestor worship? Why in the world bring up “our faithful ancestors”? Why are we talking about dead people here? I can only guess.

“One thing that sticks out brightly in this verse is the word of God, which has power to change and give life. Through the teaching of God’s word the Hebrews accepted the gospel and were saved. Although the early apostles were not learned men of power and wealth, they were people of great influence who changed the world by teaching the word of God. Their spiritual leadership bears fruit through the ages. We need to remember these leaders, and all who followed them.”

Here we see the teachings of Samuel Lee shining brightly. Note the self-aggrandizing, self-comforting nature of this paragraph. Ah ubf bible teachers are SO important! Ah we may be labeled as a cult and maybe we hurt so many people and did so many bad things, but we are SO important. Sounds like the colonel in “A Few Good Men”… “you need me on that wall! You want me on that wall!”

“There are many kinds of leaders with many kinds of teachings competing for our attention. But verses 9-10 read, “Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings. It is good for our hearts to be strengthened by grace, not by eating ceremonial foods, which is of no benefit to those who do so. ¹⁰ We have an altar from which those who minister at the tabernacle have no right to eat.” The Jews had spiritual leaders, who emphasized ceremony and ritual.”

So now we are not talking about ubf leaders but Jewish leaders?

“Through the eating of certain foods you could be righteous or unclean. But these activities did not strengthen hearts in a good way. Rather, they led to self-righteousness when they did well and to utter despair when they failed. Strange teachings are contrary to the word of God.”

Indeed! Why doesn’t this messenger examine ubf’s strange teachings? Isn’t this the most hypocritical writing you’ve heard in a long time?

“When we read the word of God, we are pointed to Jesus. Jesus’ grace is what strengthens our hearts to bear with and obey all the exhortations of the word of God. Sometimes faith in the gospel of Jesus’ grace seems weak compared to self-righteousness, and we often feel harassed by guilt and shame. We need grace!”

Well maybe we are pointed to Jesus. I found that usually the word of God points me to another person—someone I need to apologize to or to befriend or to notice. Note the horrendous understanding of grace. Faith in the gospel seems weak?!? No way! Faith in the gospel ALWAYS is strong and powerful and mighty. Grace only seems weak if you have no idea what grace is. Grace is not simply power to obey better. If so, grace would not be grace.

“My eldest son is 10 years old. He is a soft-hearted and compassionate kid. From last year he started to give us attitude, and breaks down in angry, frustrated tears from time to time. I began to realize that in relating to him I’m full of expectations, and not grace. I never wanted to be the father who exasperates his children, but I did so. This is the difference between strange teachings and the gospel. What is the food you are trying to strengthen yourself with and take your stand on? Is it accomplishments, spiritual behaviors, relationships, other things? Our hearts are weak with pride and with sin. We need the grace of Jesus, the grace secured to us by a far superior altar, on which to stand (Ro 5:2).”

I find this vague and disturbing. I find the gospel messages absent here. Is it just me?

“To trust in Jesus and his grace alone will invite misunderstanding and disgrace from those who support a strange teaching, focused on legalistic righteousness in this world.”

Yes, and it will invoke the wrath of ubf leaders if you actually do trust in grace alone.

“The USA, once thought of as a Christian nation, is becoming increasingly hostile. But that is ok; our enduring city cannot be found on this world using google maps; yet we live in hope in the city that is to come. With this hope we live by faith in Jesus, who never changes, and we take our stand in his grace, not our righteousness.”

That is ok? Why is it ok and fine to become increasingly hostile? This is a clear expression of the ubf mindset which is living in a fantasy world and disconnected from reality. To say “peace, peace” or “safety, safety” when there is no peace or safety is a dangerous way to think. There are some freaky things going on right now, which the messenger mentions, but instead of allowing people to express their emotion, he just says “that’s ok”….

“In response to Jesus’ sacrifice, we are encouraged to offer two of our own: Verses 15-16 read, “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise – the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. ¹⁶ And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”  When we live by ceremonial foods, we praise ourselves. But when we live by faith, and our hearts are strengthened by grace, we praise God, not ourselves.”

So sacrifice is a two-for-one deal now? Jesus sacrificed once (and for all). But we have to sacrifice twice? I don’t think that is what God intended to teach here. And maybe the messenger should examine ubf’s self-praise here?

“How can we continually offer to God this sacrifice of praise? Only through Jesus, whose love and grace never changes. His forgiveness, love and direction are new each morning, and each generation. But as we continually offer to God this sacrifice, we must not forget to do good and share with others. Jesus’ love language is obedience, for he said, “If you love me, keep my commands (Jn 14:15).” What did Jesus command? Jesus said: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you (Jn 15:12).”  These sacrifices are pleasing to God, and pleasing God makes his children happy.”

More circular logic that binds the audience back to obedience. Ugh.

“True spiritual leadership speaks the word of God and leaves a legacy of faith in Jesus. We see that example of faith in Jesus yesterday through those who came before: those who taught the word of God to us. But Jesus is the same today, and we therefore have leaders whose faith we are to imitate to day as well. Verse 17 reads, “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.” Jesus has appointed leaders and will call them to account for keeping watch over us. So we are exhorted to obey and submit to them.”

So because Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever, our LEADERS are also those from yesterday, today and forever? This is some of the worst Hebrews teaching I’ve read.

“Who are your leaders in Toledo UBF? Do you know who they are? They are the ones who speak the word of God to you. They are the ones who are accountable to God. Let’s decide to obey and submit to their authority, and work together in joy, not in burden. As we do so, we may experience Jesus Christ today, and leave an example of faith for those who follow to experience Jesus tomorrow and forever.”

OMG! WTF? Note the blatant disregard for Scripture here! The messenger just says “obey your leaders” and SKIPS the qualifying verses! The author of Hebrews qualifies such obedience, but this messenger intentionally SKIPS verses 18 and 19. And after this, the messenger just quickly ends the message by emphasizing the key verse he chose.

Let’s read those verses shall we? “18 Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things.19 I urge you the more earnestly to do this in order that I may be restored to you the sooner.”

Is there any ubf leader who has a clean conscience? Do they lead with any kind of conscience at all? Do they desire to act honorably in ALL things or just ubf things?

My Rating

1 star – monkey (flawed, confusing, disheartening)

This messenger doesn’t know what he is doing. Or perhaps he does know, in which case he is highly deceptive and manipulative. They have major flaws in their understanding of the material they are presenting. They don’t speak or write well. Typically this kind of messenger is just putting on a show, trying to perform. These messages are just lectures giving information. This messenger has a lot of learning to do and really shouldn’t be in the pulpit.

Come Into the Light

Several elders and pastors wrote a letter to Mars Hill church entitled “Concerns and Critical Information for the Elders of Mars Hill Church”. Theirs words struck a deep chord with me. Do we love the light? Are we willing to bring our church into the light? If there is any best way to describe one thing I want from UBF leadership, one way to summarize the thousands of emails and hundreds of blog articles I wrote the past 3 years, it would be this. Come into the light.

“Where there is nothing to hide, there is no fear of being exposed. But, rather than seeking clarity, we have cloaked ourselves in non-disclosure agreements. We have become masters of spin in how we communicate the transition of a high volume of people off staff. We have taken refuge behind official statements that might not technically be lies on the surface, but in truth are deeply misleading.

At the retreat this week, Pastor Dave spoke about our church’s credibility problem. Brothers, this credibility problem is directly linked to the fact that we have not loved the light.This is not the fault of one person, or even a just a small group of people. We all share in responsibility for this in one way or another, and we must all repent of it together, together calling for our church to step into the light.” (source)

Ethics Committee Contact Details?

Last week someone contacted me asking about the UBF Ethics and Accountability committee. They asked to remain anonymous for this person feared retaliation for asking about the committee, based on their experience in approaching UBF leaders. This person may submit an article with their suggestions for the committee, but for now I will just share some quotes sent to me. These quotes show me that as of 2014, UBF leadership still has qualms about the light, just like the Mars Hill leadership.

“I wanted to contact UBF Ethics committee but I could not easily find their contact information at ubf.org. If they are serious about making ethical reform they should make it easy to post suggestions for ethical reform in a way easily explained in the website via some form of contact listed on the website.”

I have to wonder the same thing. How ethical is it to not make the Ethics committee contact information available freely and publicly? The perception (and likely reality) is that UBF leadership wants to control who contacts the committee and what gets reported to the committee, thereby rendering the committee irrelevant. Am I right? I hope I am wrong.

What will be said of us?

Of course, John 3:18-20 comes to mind immediately. Will it be said that we loved the light? If there is nothing to hide, why don’t UBF leaders and members come into the light? In this internet age, there is really no place to hide. Publishing nostalgic hagiographies, traveling the world to do private “Continuous Missionary Education” and adding bureaucratic layers onto the ministry doesn’t do much to bring UBF ministry into the light. We all see you, by the way. There is no place to hide.

So no, I do not hate Koreans. I love kimchee! I do not consider Korean culture to be the main issue facing UBF ministry. I deeply respect the disciplined nature of many Koreans I have met, in UBF and out of UBF. But what do I want? I want UBF people to come into the light! Will you join me in the light? Will you discuss UBF ministry here on ubfriends, openly, freely and honestly? This won’t be easy. It won’t be “safe”. It will be like walking on the water. It will feel very uncomfortable. It will be messy. It may get ugly. But I stake my life on this, when we love the light, it will be glorious.

Sense of Smell

Because of the “aroma of Christ” comment in this section, N.T. begins with describing the importance of smell to the ancient faith systems. Imagine the smell of the sacrifices, the incense, and the temple. All those smells conjured up divine thoughts to the ancients. To them, knowledge had a smell. Today we might call this the “smell test”.

The opening question, then, is this: What smell brings back the most vibrant and clear memories for you?

I find that considering the sense of smell enriches my study of the Holy Scriptures. As I sift through my memories, looking through the smell of kimchee, I recall the smell of the Catholic church on Sunday. Every Sunday as a child I remember the smell of the cool entrance, almost a holy water smell. The smell of lingering candles and incense all remind me of God.

Study notes

The study again has 12 questions. This time the questions are more like paragraphs, which contain notes about the text. Although I would rather just think about questions, I see that Wright’s comments are not distracting. Instead, he gives comments that are contextual in nature. I don’t see any particular theology or loaded questions, so I am able to continue to trust the study.

Punishment and Forgiveness

In 2 Corinthians 2:1-11, Paul expresses what he calls great distress and anguish of heart. He had previously instructed the church there to discipline one member who had taken his father’s wife. Perhaps Paul is expressing anguish over that event, or perhaps other events as well. In any case, he teaches something of great importance and relevance: the path to forgiveness includes church discipline.

“If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.” 2 Corinthians 2:5-8

The life of a faith community is closely bound up together. A healthy faith community not only has the courage to deal with sin, but also has a willingness to forgive in both the right sequence and the right balance. Punishment and forgiveness are important dynamics to ponder. Does your faith community take church discipline seriously? If so, do they also take forgiveness and restoration seriously? How can Christ-followers talk about forgiveness but skip the discipline part?

Captives in Christ’s Triumphal Procession

Wright reminds us that the ancient world was familiar with the image of a king’s victory procession. During such a procession, a king who had won a notable military victory would parade the prisoners they had captured and display their plunder in a glorious celebration. The prisoners would later be executed. So then what was Paul communicating in 2 Corinthians 2:12-17? Why are Christians presented as the prisoners in the imagery?

This line of thought opened my eyes to see this section of the text in a whole new light. I’ve heard these verses quoted a lot. But it never occurred to me that we are the captives! I only thought about the aroma of Christ and the great victory. But perhaps Paul was communicating a sober reminder to all Christ-followers: You are the prisoners who will be executed. But as captives of Christ, we have much hope and even our execution can be an aroma that brings life. Perhaps a faith community should remember this vivid image of Christ as the king as we live out the discipline and forgiveness paradigm.

Letters of recommendation?

In chapter 3, Paul’s thoughts again turn toward the legitimacy of his ministry.

“Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”

Here is a sobering thought: the only letter of recommendation that counts for your faith community is the human hearts you have impacted. The result of your ministry is shown by what kind of people are raised up among you. Does your faith community seek out letters of recommendation? What kind of people are being developed among you? When the world reads the human hearts of your faith community, what do they read? Is your faith community focused on the letter of the law or the spirit of the law?

Surpassing Glory

In the last part of chapter 3, Paul draws on text from the Old Testament, such as Jeremiah 31:33 and Exodus 34:29-35. I can sense Paul’s earnest longing for the Corinthians to get out of their rut and move beyond their problems. His longing is so strong that he makes some extremely bold statements about the Old Testament way of life.

“Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, transitory though it was, will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? If the ministry that brought condemnation was glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. And if what was transitory came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!” 2 Corinthians 3:7-11

The glory of the obedience/curse way of life presented in the Old Testament has no glory now, according to this text. There is simply no comparison with the surpassing glory of following Jesus, even if following Jesus brings shame, misunderstanding or death. Paul’s anguish is clear. He loves the OT Law. He was a Pharisee. But now he looks to the lasting hope and glory of Jesus the Messiah.

Unveiled Faces

Paul’s thoughts on his vision for the Corinthian faith community continue with amazing imagery.

“Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away.” 2 Corinthians 3:12-13

Do people in your faith community wear masks or seem to have a veil over their faces? Do people reveal their authentic self to each other? How can you lift your veil, become transparent, and help build a faith community with unveiled faces reflecting Christ to each other?

Prayer

Wright encourages us to pray by reflecting on the amazing way the Spirit has made a new covenant in the hearts of Christians around us. Pray with thanksgiving for the transformation of your faith community so that they reflect God’s glory. Remember that human hearts are the only letter of recommendation that matter.

I’ve come to the realization the past several years that following Christ and His teachings is far more about learning how to love than learning how to obey the commands found in the Old Testament. At first I felt guilty. Shouldn’t Christians be striving to obey the 10 Commandments? My answer now is an emphatic, guilt-free “no!”.  My “yes” is the gospel and my “no” is the Law. Here is why.

Seven teachings of Paul the Apostle

In the past four years or so I’ve done more actual study of the bible than I did for the prior 20+ years. I actually love the Holy Scriptures now. And I respect them deeply, striving to discern what the Scriptures are saying. I cannot say my current theology resembles what Spurgeon or Wright would approve. However, both Charles H. Spurgeon and N.T. Wright have deeply influenced what I’ve learned and how I approach Scripture.

Teaching #1 – Striving to obey the OT Law is a cursed way of life.

A full Galatians, Romans and Ephesians study is warranted here, which I did in my personal bible study a couple years ago. Galatians 3:10 expresses this teaching most clearly: “All who rely on observing the law are under a curse, for it is written: ‘Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law.'”

Teaching #2 – The OT Law is no longer our supervisor for right and wrong

How do we know what is right and wrong without the Law? I’m not an anarchist, so I believe in laws in society. And I’m in favor of documented laws in churches. But in practice, as we live and how we determine those laws, those laws really should no longer be checked against the OT Law. They should be checked against love. Again, we must read and study all of Galatians and many more texts. But Galatians 3:25 and Galatians 4:21 express this clearly: “Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.” and “Tell me, you who want to be under the law, are you not aware of what the law says?”

Teaching #3 – The OT Law been nailed to the cross

A full study of Colossians is warranted here. This teaching is a point of contention, even among the greats, as to what “nailing to the cross” means. Still, Colossians 2:13-15 expresses this clearly: When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.”

Teaching #4 -The OT Law has been fulfilled

I found that I didn’t really understand the word “fulfillment”. And thus I was confused by Jesus’ words. The OT Law was not abolished, so it does exist today. And the Law was not nullified, so it has a purpose (Romans). My contention is that the resolution to the Law not being abolished and not nullified is the teaching from Jesus that He fulfilled the Law. I find that Matthew 5:17-20 has been greatly misunderstood and misapplied. “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.  I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.  For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Teaching #5 – The OT Law has a purpose to teach us about Jesus

In Acts we read the story of Philip being led by the Spirit to Gaza where he meets an Ethiopian eunuch, who was reading Isaiah. Did Philip or the Holy Spirit want this Ethiopian to learn about obeying the OT Law? No. He was taught the good news about Jesus. Acts 8:34-35 “The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?” Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.”

Teaching #6 – The OT Law is not for Gentiles to strive to obey

When the early church was confronted with what to teach to the Gentiles, what did they teach them? They shared only three (four) things. This was their letter:

Acts 15: 23-29  With them they sent the following letter:

The apostles and elders, your brothers,

To the Gentile believers in Antioch, Syria and Cilicia:

Greetings.

We have heard that some went out from us without our authorization and disturbed you, troubling your minds by what they said. So we all agreed to choose some men and send them to you with our dear friends Barnabas and Paul— men who have risked their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore we are sending Judas and Silas to confirm by word of mouth what we are writing. It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things.

Farewell.

Teaching #7 – The OT Law is an all or nothing proposition

So suppose I decide to obey the OT Law. Which part of it? Many have tried to dissect the Law, breaking it up into manageable chunks. But always it is discovered that these chunks are not manageable at all. We cannot ignore any part of the OT Law. We must either obey all of it, or admit failure even for breaking the least of the commands. Again, Galatians says this best. Galatians 5:2-4 “Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all. Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law. You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace.”

There are many other passages that teach the same thing: God’s Law is not binding nor unifying on Christians, but the Spirit of God is binding and unifying.

Two teachings of Jesus

Teaching #1 – Jesus’ standard is infinitely higher than the OT Law

Jesus turned the OT Law upside down in the Sermon on the Mount.  And after expounding brilliantly, what did He conclude with? Did he say “Now go and obey the OT Law?” For the Jewish leper he healed right after the Sermon, yes he did say that. But in the Sermon, the sermon He knew would be heard by millions of Gentiles, Jesus concludes with this “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” Matthew 7:24-29

Teaching #2 – Jesus’ standard is love for others

Who will be in Heaven? Jesus simply asks a question: Did you visit Me? “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’”  Matthew 25:31-46

Love is a full-time job

I am compelled to stop worrying about whether getting a tattoo is right or wrong. Loving your self, your neighbors, your friends, your family, your strangers and your enemies is a full-time job. There is so much to learn about how to love our fellow human beings, especially those closest to us.

What kind of world would this be if we all stopped worrying about what is right or wrong about other people and started to learn how to love?

I hear Jesus saying “Go and learn how to love. I’ve got your sins covered.” I’ve decided to do just that.

Reading the text

2 Corinthians 1:1-2:4

“3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 6 If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. 7 Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.” –2 Corinthians 1:3-7 ESV

Apart from “God” and “Christ”, the word “comfort” is most repeated in this passage.

A reminder of the Gospel

The study guide begins with a reminder of the gospel. We are pointed to 1 Corinthians 15:3-8. The gospel is presented as being about Jesus the Messiah, his death for our sins according to the Scriptures, his burial and his resurrection three days later. These were real events to Paul, and the lens through which he saw the world. The gospel, to Paul, was a collection of events that were real, and rather then dive into some intricate meaning of those events, we find Paul often merely announcing those events.

Opening question

Before going further, the study guide opens with a question: Describe a time when you needed comfort. When did you need comfort?

This question seemed to be an eisegesisical opening. Isn’t N.T. Wright just planting his own ideology before addressing the text? So this made me re-read the Scripture. I could only conclude that indeed, this passage has something to say about comfort. Then I realized some important values being taught by this format.

Asking an opening question like this does at least two good things. First, the question keeps the study focused an obvious theme of the passage. How could we delve into what this passage says about other topics if we ignore the most repeated word in the passage? Second, this question opens the possibility of never getting to the study questions, keeping the focus on people. What if someone in your study group answers with a recent time, saying they need comfort now? Ramming through the study guide would be pointless if there were some immediate need among the people studying. This opening question gives everyone, including the study facilitator, the chance to share something about themselves.

So then, I can see three points of emphasis from Wright in his approach to Scripture:

• Remember the Gospel
• Pay attention to the repeated words of the passage
• Keep the focus on people around you

This approach is entirely refreshing and new to me. Shouldn’t we be learning about God? Shouldn’t we be dissecting the bible verses by now? I suspect Wright would say something like “Of course we will be learning about God. But we cannot learn about God at the expense of learning about the people around us. Unless you are in seminary of some kind, you have no business dissecting the word of God in such a disrespectful manner. Learn what the passage says. Learn about the people around you and their perspective on this passage!” Well ok, that is what I would say, after this first study. But that is what I hear Wright saying by his approach, which, as you can tell, is deeply important to me right now.

Study 

The study guide for this section has twelve questions. I would encourage you to get this study guide and work through your answers in a group setting. I’m using this group study guide as a personal study, so I’ll just share my answers to one question that stood out to me.

Question 2 asks us to describe the “pattern of interchange” between the Messiah and his followers and between the apostle and the church, as displayed in verses 1 to 7. Wright wants us to notice the back and forth nature of the relationship Paul presents. This is a new concept for me, to observe patterns about relationships between the people in the Scriptures.

In verses 1 to 7, I see respect for the lordship of Jesus over both Paul and the church. He is an apostle, yes, but only by the will of God. Paul does not own the people in Corinth, nor do the people own Paul.

What is exchanged between the Messiah and his followers? I see “mercies and comfort” being given by the Messiah to his followers. I see a sharing in sufferings.

What is exchanged between the apostle and the church? I see “concern and awareness” being given by the apostle to the church. I also see hope being exchanged. The apostle does not hide the fact that he is afflicted.

Prayer

After the 12 questions, the study guide urges us to pray for the “places in life where there is suffering and sadness” and to use the words of Paul in this chapter in our prayers.

A concluding note says that we cannot know for sure what was behind Paul’s change of plans in this passage. We do know his visit and trip did not go well. He was in distress. And  he was open and transparent about it. Often, in times of affliction, that is what we need– someone who doesn’t pretend to be “superman” but who is real and honest. Someone who shows compassion, concern and hope.

I have found that my own, no-pressure bible reading and the group topical bible studies are very enjoyable, challenging and helpful. Those approaches to bible study gave me time to process my own belief system, rather than dictate a belief system to me. But now I want more; I want to get closer to the bible text and enrich my personal faith fabric. So I’ve decided to learn from and trust N.T. Wright and his study guide on 2 Corinthians. So far this has been a good decision.

We Don’t Know

My fears about being indoctrinated with some odd ideology were put to rest right away. The man who some have called the greatest Christian theologian of our time says this in his introduction.

“The historian, particularly the ancient historian, is often in the position of the puzzled spectator. The historian may have evidence about an early phase of someone’s career, and then again a later phase; but what happened in between is often hidden. So it is with Paul. He has gone into the house, striding cheerfully along; we have watched him do so in his first letter to the Corinthians. Now in 2 Corinthians we see him emerge again, battered and bruised. Even his style of writing seems to have changed. But we don’t know what happened [in between the two letters].”

We know Paul suffered something apparently rather horrific. But we don’t really know what his struggles were specifically. Like many writers in the ancient world, Paul is far more concerned with the meaning behind the suffering and struggles, rather than detailing out all the symptoms. Suffering in the ancient world meant divine anger or displeasure. And Paul contradicts this thinking to give us a far deeper meaning of human struggles.

Suffering is Not Divine Punishment

N.T. Wright makes a broad-stroke observation about Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians. This observation is highly cathartic for me.

“Whatever Paul had gone through, it would have been easy for his enemies, or those who were jealous of him, to think to themselves that it probably served him right, that God was most likely punishing him for something or other. Not so, says Paul. These things come not because God is angry but because he wants us to trust him more fully. Paul was breaking new ground.”

The Earth-shattering Gospel

I really appreciate the gospel emphasis I continue to find in N.T. Wright’s writings. He observses that 2 Corinthians is a letter of “deep sorrow and raw wounds”. Yet he also sees what he calls “earth-shattering implications of the gospel”.

After reading this introduction my mind and heart are at ease. N.T. Wright shows me not even a single “red flag” that would tell me he is being manipulative or deceptive. What is more, he also displays all the “green flags” that tell me I can trust him. This does not mean I will agree with everything he teaches; I surely won’t! But I can trust that he knows the gospel messages and has an approach to bible study that will allow me the freedom of mind to build my own faith. His study guide appears to be structured so that I have the freedom to learn not only from N.T., but from the Holy Spirit.

Questions

What is your approach to bible study? What methods have encouraged you the most? What qualities do you look for in a bible study guide? How do you listen to the Spirit’s voice?

Approach

I have come to appreciate a multi-faceted approach to the bible text. What I mean is to learn from a high level overview of the whole book, topical summaries from various viewpoints and verse-by-verse exposition. So I begin this study with some observations others have made about the book (more rightly called a letter) of 2 Corinthians. Two main sources are bible.org study on 2 Corinthians and executable outlines from Mark Copeland.

Nature

This section of Scripture has always been attributed to the Apostle Paul. It reads more like correspondence than most of Paul’s writings, because in it he reacts to specific needs and issues rather than making theological dissertations. It is claimed that there are fewer commentaries on 2 Corinthians than any other book in the bible.

Problems

In this 13 chapter letter, Paul the Apostle addresses a community fractured by at least four groups of people. One group of believers supported traditional Roman culture and customs. Another a group of believers supported traditional Greek rhetorical training. A third group of believers supported traditional Jewish culture and customs. And yet another group of believers from the powerless and the disenfranchised people of society supported social reforms.

Paul had been criticized with regard to his person, motives, authority, delivery style and gospel message.

Outline

So many problems had arisen that we find it difficult to outline or summarize 2 Corinthians. Paul displays his human side, sharing his mood swings, writing on a variety of subjects, using broad stroke thinking and leaving out many details about the local situation that make it difficult for us to know what or who Paul was reacting to.

Still, three big messages can be seen at a high-level:

1. Reactions and reflections on his ministry (ch. 1 to 7)

2. Encouragement to complete the Jerusalem offering (ch. 8 to 9)

3. Defense of his leadership (ch. 10 to 13)

Purpose

This letter has been called the most biographical of Paul’s writings. Instead of learning theological constructs and doctrine, we get to see more of the person named Paul the Apostle. Paul seems to be writing in order to address the questions raised about his authority and ministry. In light of heavy criticism, Paul did not remain silent. He responded with one of the most insightful and Spirit-led writings of the bible texts.

Questions

What resources do you have about 2 Corinthians? What have you learned from this letter? What are your initial thoughts on how someone should respond to challenges and criticism? What reactions does this introduction prompt in your mind and heart?

[This is a direct quote form my second book about my journey of recovery from ubf, “Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives” and further describes the ubf training model.]

The most important aspect everyone needs to understand about UBF ministry is the six-stage training process. When I joined in 1987, no one had ever documented such a thing. But as I look back, I can clearly see all six stages. Everyone’s experience is different. Yet all UBF people should readily recognize these six stages. The following slide describes the UBF training model, and has been shared publicly by UBF from their 2010 Fishing and Outreach Director’s Conference. This is the most accurate depiction of my 24 years at UBF I’ve ever seen.

It’s no surprise that the stages are presented in a circular pattern because every time the process fails, UBF missionaries just start all over with a new person. As I progressed through each of the six training stages, I had hoped to find the goodness UBF bible teachers promised. Instead, I found goodness re-defined. UBF became my “good”. And not only did I pass through all six stages of training, I then attempted to train other students in the UBF ways as a UBF shepherd.

The first three stages of UBF training may be categorized as “sheep training”. The goal is to secure a person’s commitment to the UBF ways. The UBF leaders seek to produce a person committed to weekly UBF bible study (Stage 1: Birthing), a person willing to adopt the UBF worldview (Stage 2: Rooting) and a person willing to continue the training and become a UBF shepherd (Stage 3: Growing).

The second three stages of UBF training may be categorized as “shepherd training”. The goal is to secure a person’s resources for the rest of their life. UBF leaders want a person’s identity (Stage 4: Disciple Training), a person’s obedience (Stage 5: Soldier Training) and a person’s lifelong loyalty (Stage 6: Leader Training).

The content of these six stages may be adjusted for each student UBF encounters. The overall plan takes about 7 to 9 years and is practiced with some degree of consistency by UBF chapters around the world. One question though: What do you do after Stage 6? The expectation is that you live as a lifelong UBF loyalist and recruiter.

[Appendix D is added here for clarity]

Sheep Training (up to 5 years)

Stage 1: Birthing (1 to 9 months)

Goal – commit to bible study

Starts after first bible study

Stage 2: Rooting (1 to 2 years)

Goal – adopt the UBF worldview

Starts after Sunday service attendance

Stage 3: Growing (1 to 2 years)

Goal – pursue more training

Starts after sharing Life Testimony

Shepherd Training (2 to 4 years)

Stage 4: Disciple Training (about 1 year)

Goal – identity as “Shepherd X”

Starts after joining common life

Stage 5: Soldier Training (1 to 2 years)

Goal – obedience to UBF authorities

Starts after college graduation

Stage 6: Leader Training (about 1 year)

Goal – loyalty for life

Starts after Marriage by Faith

Stage 1, the “birthing” stage, is often rather enjoyable. This stage begins with a chance meeting on campus with a college student. It is important to note that in the UBF heritage, the person must be a college student to be considered for the six-stage training. Other non-college people may hang around UBF chapters for a while, but will likely be seen as a distraction to the UBF world campus mission.

The random invitation to bible study on campus between a UBF bible teacher and a new student is seen as a divine birth-moment. The person who invited the student becomes the personal, life-long moral supervisor for the student, who is now referred to as his or her “sheep”. This process is called “fishing for men on campus” and is the pivotal moment that will be used year after year to convince the student that their old life was bad and their new UBF life is blessed and good. I was already a Christian before my “birth-moment” but this did not matter to UBF shepherds. They see any pre-UBF life in a mostly-negative, unblessed light. This enhances the perspective that the student’s new life at UBF is good and blessed.

In this first stage, the training amounts to a once a week bible study with a self-appointed, personal shepherd. Much emphasis is placed on finding a new life and new relationships through bible study. Because the bible is the focus of this new UBF life, some actual transformation caused by the Christian faith will normally also be taking place at the same time the UBF training occurs. This dual nature of UBF training and Christian faith awakening makes for an extremely complex entanglement. How can you discern what good came from UBF training and what good came from faith in God? Over time, this line becomes so blurred that UBF becomes equal to God in your mind.

Any student who is “birthed” into UBF bible study is carefully watched. UBF shepherds look to see if there is any interest in bible study and will pursue a new student aggressively. The acceptance of UBF bible study (called one-to-one study) is seen as some divine intervention and a sign for the UBF bible teacher to initiate invitations to more meetings and activities. During this first stage, the student is offered much good food and flattered with many good words. Often this stage has many fun activities, such as playing soccer or basketball. All this is done as every event in the student’s life is given proof-texted value from the bible.

The goal of stage 1 is to birth a committed bible student. The primary sign that a committed bible student has been “raised” is Sunday service attendance. When a student regularly attends both weekly bible study and Sunday service, the student is now deemed “faithful” and has been birthed. UBF shepherds often refer to real birth, quoting fertility rates and making analogies to birthing pains and motherhood, to explain what happens during Stage 1 to get a random college student to become a committed Sunday attendee and bible student. Sometimes this first stage takes several months but rarely will a UBF bible teacher wait longer than a year for such a commitment. If a student has not committed to UBF bible study and Sunday service within a year, the bible teacher normally moves onto find someone else. Some UBF shepherds severely challenge the students after a year passes. They want students to make a clear decision: accept UBF blessing or leave. This is often also framed negatively: If you don’t commit to UBF, you will be cursed. I heard many tall tales of accidents, disease and horrible events that were supposed to happen if someone leaves UBF, which is often called “running away”. In my case, the “running away” was additionally framed as “losing your faith” and “going to hell”.

Stage 2, the “rooting” stage, begins when a new student demonstrates a commitment to UBF bible study and Sunday services regularly. Stage 2 can last between one and two years normally. When a student is found to be committed to UBF, the flattery and praise the student experienced in Stage 1 slowly disappears. Now the UBF bible teacher begins to insist on the student’s attendance at other meetings, such as a weekly testimony sharing meeting and often several other meetings held throughout the week. During this “rooting” students are pressured to take on additional duties and roles at their UBF chapter. One of the famous roles is bathroom cleaning servant. Many other kinds of servant roles are made up, such as parking lot servant, Sunday report servant and morning prayer servant. The students are taught the supreme UBF values of loyalty, sacrifice, service and obedience in this stage.

During the rooting stage, students are typically also taught to forget about their pre-UBF friends and family members, who may be “bad company” for their new life. Because the Stage 1 flattery taught the student that UBF has blessings for them, and new genuine spiritual awakening may also be taking place, the student is more open to attending the new meetings and adopting the UBF worldview.

This second stage is where intense personal interest is shown by the UBF members. The goal of Stage 2 is to produce a sheep who understands and adopts the UBF view of life. UBF shepherds understand that Stage 2 often takes several years, so they are patient and oscillate between periods of high-demand pressure and low-demand, cooling off periods. A student will be pushed as far as they can take, and then the shepherd will back off. And then later the pressure will start again. The student thinks they are taking root in the bible, but the reality is that UBF ideologies are also taking root in the student. Almost every detail of the student’s life becomes known through the weekly sharing. The students’ family situation, job situation, hobbies, interests, girlfriends/boyfriends, sins, talents—everything is asked about by inquisitive UBF members. All of this information is fed back to the chapter director and the student’s personal shepherd by means of prayer topics, which are always written down and often compiled electronically. As a side note, one story I love to tell is that I was the first UBF shepherd in my chapter to compile my weekly bible studies entirely on a computer. More than one Korean UBF missionary told me this was an unspiritual way to answer bible study question sheets. They said that Satan was ready to “sift me as wheat” because I did not sacrifice my time to prepare my notes by hand.

The rooting stage normally culminates in the sharing of what UBF calls a “life testimony”. This is a special kind of testimony shared at a weekend retreat or other gathering of many UBF people. Those who do not share such a testimony are not called shepherds and are not permitted to proceed on in the UBF training. Typically the life testimony is a binary format, with titles such as “From a lazy, no-good sinner to a faithful, fruitful shepherd!”. The main requirement is a bold declaration that the person wants to become a UBF shepherd. A stark contrast is drawn between the student’s former, non-UBF life and the student’s new, blessed, UBF life. Often the goal here is to break down a student’s defenses, requiring them to stay up all night or to get up very early in the morning, so that the teachings of the UBF shepherd can be instilled into the person’s life testimony. Portions of the life testimony are routinely re-written or dictated by the UBF shepherd or chapter director.

In addition, the bible’s Old Testament teachings are usually heavily emphasized during these first three stages, so much so that the “obedience equals blessing and disobedience equals curse” is deeply ingrained in the student’s thinking. One main problem that arises is that no distinction is made between God and UBF.

Stage 3, called “growing” is the most vague to me, as it seems the only purpose is to convince the new bible student (“sheep”) that it is necessary and good for them to continue growing and accept more UBF training as a “shepherd”. The word “growing” is used a lot during this period. Are you growing? Why are you not growing? When are you going to grow? The word is vague and thus allows room for some unusual and confusing experiences. This “growing” stage can be volatile as you start to be invited to more and more behind-the-scenes meetings. I noticed the more committed I was perceived to be, the more gossip and information would be shared with me. During this stage, I often was the first person to a meeting and the last person to leave. I wanted to know for myself what was going on.

One common trait of Stage 3 training, for “growing sheep” or sometimes “shepherd candidates”, is something called common life. Sheep are asked to move into a house or apartment with other UBF sheep and shepherds (if the student has not moved into common life by now), all of whom are “growing” in different stages of UBF training. Often the chapter director will gather similarly-ranked sheep into groups. One such group I was in was called “The Rocky’s of Faith”. Another group of young women was called “Mary’s of Faith”. All sheep and shepherds are ranked and tracked by the Korean chapter director.

Stage 4, called “disciple training” is where the real training starts. This is the beginning of shepherd life, to use a UBF phrase. [Stage 4 often begins after a sheep begins common life, but sometimes begins right away after the retreat or conference where a person had shared his or her life testimony.] This stage is normally when a person notices the vicious UBF rumor mill, which was most likely hidden from them during the “sheep” training years.

During stage 4, the student’s UBF shepherd will continue to spend much time with the student. Daily meetings are typical of this stage. Weekly trips to the local college campus associated with the UBF chapter will become mandatory. I saw much heartache in my friends during this state. One of my friends couldn’t take the intrusiveness of his shepherd. So one night he packed up his bags and climbed out the window at night. He just disappeared, never to be heard from again. This stage lasts usually about one or two years and is very intense. Much is demanded from the student at this point because he is a “UBF Shepherd” and expected to set the example.

One of the things that kept me going during stage 4 training was the thought that I would graduate, get a job and move on with my life. But always the question was posed during this time: Will you serve God for the rest of your life? At this point UBF=God, so I spent many nights in anguish, thinking I was engaging in a holy fight like Jacob who wrestled with God.

Stage 5 is called “Soldier Training”. Typically, Stage 5 begins soon after graduating from college. Sometimes, the first 3 stages of “Sheep Training” take all the time of the student’s college years, however. UBF shepherds really want a student “sheep” to become a UBF shepherd during college years. This is a rare occurrence in my observation. So college graduation becomes an intense time of coaxing a “shepherd declaration” from a student, if the training has progressed too slowly. If the first four stages progress as planned however, the new college graduate is ready for Soldier Training.

Stage 5 is marked by all kinds of made up training, at the discretion of the shepherd. A common training is called marriage training (although a marriage “problem” can result in training at any stage). The strict “no dating” policy is made clear at this point. UBF leaders know that they risk losing a student who graduates. So sometimes UBF offers a “staff internship” or other “full-time shepherd” position in Stage 5. This is normally not a paid position but sometimes is paid from UBF offering money. The goal of the UBF chapter director at this point is to keep the student in his own chapter at all costs. The exception is if the student is too independent and stubborn then the chapter director will allow the student to move to another UBF chapter, but usually only if there is some commitment to a marriage-by-faith arrangement. Stage 5 is similar to Stage 4, but more intense. I would call “soldier training” to be “disciple training” on steroids.

My “soldier training” consisted of a plethora of meetings, early in the morning and late at night, conference leadership preparation roles, and doing various duties for the the chapter director. I became an “offering servant”, “Sunday attendance servant” and “cleaning servant”. The pressure in stage 5 is extremely high to go to your local campus and recruit new bible students (called fishing). This involves weekly reporting of your fishing results. During all this you have no time to date, and wonder how you will be married. So after being broken down, you allow your shepherd to choose your wife (called co-worker in UBF). In my first book I shared how I beat this arranged marriage system to marry the woman I wanted.

The culmination of Soldier Training (Stage 5) is a successful arranged marriage, called “marriage by faith” in UBF terminology. Any real leadership position or missionary-sending work is done by married men. Rarely does UBF allow single adults or women to hold significant leadership positions with any kind of decision-making authority.

Stage 6, “Leader Training” begins after “marriage by faith” and is marked by slogans such as “learn a father-like heart”. At this point all flattery is gone. Severe criticism and harsh rebukes are commonplace. UBF missionaries often seem to forget that the shepherd is married and is building his own family at this point. One of my friends got a phone call the day after their first honeymoon night to come to the UBF center for some kind of meeting. After my own marriage, I was asked to sleep at the UBF bible center in order to set a good example to unmarried brothers who were “cleaning servants”. I was supposed to demonstrate that I was not a family-centered man but was a mission-centered man. I refused and slept with my wife at home instead.

What options exist after Stage 6? Not much is documented after Stage 6 of the UBF training. I passed through all six stages and can share what I experienced. In some sense, married couples in UBF are slowly forgotten, their needs marginalized and their loyalty and participation assumed. At this point, you are spending 40 to 60 hours per week with UBF activities and trying to build a family while keeping a full-time job.

One option after Stage 6 is to become and official UBF member. I was shocked to discover that after 20 years of UBF devotion, I was not actually a member! UBF has a set of corporate by-laws, with official offices of President, Treasurer, etc. Such by-laws provide for the establishment of a council with nominated members who can vote on various topics. I believe all this is for show however. Real decisions in UBF are made by Korean missionaries. But in order to retain membership in the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability (ECFA), which the Chicago UBF chapter joined in 2007, UBF maintains a council of official members. At no time during the 24 years I committed to UBF was I asked to be a “member” at this council. So the qualifications to be a council member are vague and likely subjective. Perhaps I was deemed too rebellious, independent, or not loyal enough.

Summary

In summary, the UBF training system can be explained by the six stages: birthing, growing, rooting, disciple training, soldier training and leader training.

Because about 2,000 UBF Korean missionaries have gone to over 180 countries the past 50 years, there are many thousands of stories to tell about the training methods of UBF. And thus there are many variations to the training. However I have found that the six stages I describe are strikingly common among UBF chapters around the world.

Transitions between the stages occur when a college student attend Sunday services, shares his/her life testimony, moves into a common life house, graduates from college and accepts the arranged marriage process. The training ends there, as you are then expected to be eternally loyal as a supposed world-class UBF leader. I found that I was only “world-class” in one thing: in my ability to sit on a folding chair and listen to the same regurgitated messages year after year.

“Pastor Abraham Kim asked me to prepare a message on campus mission with reference to Stephen Lutz’s book (College Ministry in a Post-Christian Culture) along with my own sense of problems and visions.”

Here is a question I’ve wondered for many years. Why is this Korean director in Pennsylvania repeatedly considered the expert in campus discipleship among ubf leaders? This is not the first time Daniel has spoken on this topic. This doesn’t make sense to me because his ministry is very small and disconnected from the rest of ubf. Anyone know why ubf leaders look to him for expertise in “making disciples”? Perhaps he “raised” some famous ubf person?

“One motivation to think about this topic is that some of us have asked whether we should continue to make college students as the main focus of our ministry. The UBF is more than 50 years old. We have many young children in our ministries who need our attention. We have many coworkers who are in retirement age, some with no financial nest egg. And it is becoming more and more difficult to reach out to college students in this post-modern society. So it is natural for us to ask what we are doing.”

Yes you all need to ask these questions! Is ubf a church? If so, then you must start acting like a church and actually care about the needs mentioned here. Is ubf a network of para-church groups? If so, then you need to release the families and stop binding them to live like single college students. But of course, ubf leaders never make up their mind about this. They just plod along, hoping families don’t leave. If the American, German, etc. families left ubf, they would have just the Koreans remaining. If ubf is a college ministry, they should have mostly single non-Korean college students among them, especially single college students leading most of the ministry. But they don’t. Instead the audience at this staff conference is made up of married couples whose average age is likely about 40.

“And it’s important to note that such question is asked by those who love our ministry. The fact is that some of us have devoted our life to campus mission for 10, 20 or 30 years but with very little to show for (humanly speaking). Like men going through a mid-life crisis, we may be wondering what has happened to our life.”

Correct. Such questions are asked by those who love ubf ministry. Such questions are asked by people like myself who also love ubf ministry even though I am no longer part of the ministry.  Ubf does have something to show for their effort. They have earned the cult label from several organizations and from their public image. They have earned the responsibility to bear the burden of abusing people around the world for five decades. Such things are what cause your ubf staff to have moments of crisis. And they are also dealing with the real mid-life crisis of wondering what you did with your life. When you turn 40, it is normal to experience such things. It is harmful to your psyche to suppress or ignore such emotions.

“We all agree that the Bible is at the core of our ministry. It is in our DNA. It’s in our bones and marrows. We believe that the word of God leads us to Jesus. It leads us to eternal life in the kingdom of God.”

Correct, the bible is at the core of ubf ministry. Is that a good thing? I say no. ubf has made the bible into an idol, like many fundamentalist groups have. Being biblio-centric doesn’t automatically make your ministry honoring to God. Perhaps you should spend some time thinking about whether the bible should be at the core. Should not Jesus, the living God, the Person, the Shepherd be there? Does not Jesus our Lord want to be the core? Assuming that because you spend many hours reading the bible you automatically also have Jesus at your center is a very bad assumption.

You say that the word of God leads us to Jesus and leads to eternal life in the kingdom of God. Technically that’s correct. But why emphasize the “going to heaven” message? Where is love for your neighbor, love for your families, and love for your enemies?

“Francis Chan, a pastor in California, said, “If Jesus had a church here (in Simi Valley), mine would be bigger.” What he meant is that Jesus’ preaching would not be very popular today. It’s his critical observation that people today want to hear something that tickles their itching ears. The pure, unadulterated gospel may sound quaint and uninteresting to them. They would rather turn to something new, something more interesting. So some preachers tend to quote a Bible verse or two and then quickly move on to something people want to hear.”

Can you hear the pride oozing from this? Wow! Ubf is a small ministry who spends a lot of time reading the bible. Therefore, ubf is better than Francis Chan’s ministry! Ubf is just like Jesus’ ministry. If Jesus were here today, surely Jesus would set up an unpopular ministry like ubf….

Speaking of that “unadulterated gospel”…. What is the gospel? Why do ubf Koreans get so nervous and even angry when I ask this question? Maybe we could talk about this wonderful gospel? Or is that a waste of time?

And speaking of preachers quoting a few bible verses and moving on to what their audience’s itching ears want to hear… isn’t that what you are doing here Daniel? You quoted a bible verse but don’t speak about it much. You move on quickly to affirm the glory and rightness of ubf ministry, soothing the ears of your audience for a moment.

“In our campus, there is a Christian group that attracts a large gathering each week. I sometimes envy them. Some of our Bible students would leave us to join them, because they can have more fun there and also because they have a better chance of meeting a girlfriend or boyfriend there. On the other hand, only a few students come to our campus fellowship meetings. So again this summer, our student leaders are seeking God’s wisdom on how to reach out to more students. We’ve discussed having games, music, dance, and café after each meeting. But we know that whatever we do, we should always let the word of God be the main focus.”

Ah those darn, unspiritual, mamby-pamby, weak, licentious Christian groups! Argh, if only they wouldn’t attract so many students! Then ubf ministry would flourish! We need much wisdom about how to get students away from such evil influences and get them to attend our boring, mundane, flawed bible study! But just wait another 50 years… we’ll figure it out eventually. Just show us grace.

“We consider our Bible study ministry so precious because the word of God led each of us to Jesus and eternal life. At the beginning of each semester, I ask my students in my economics classes what their life goal is–what they hope to do after college. A majority of them would say: “to make a lot of money and be happy.” They have no idea on some of the important questions in life, such as “Who am I?” “Where did I come from?” and “What will happen when I die?” Instead, their interest is on how to have fun and pleasure.”

Well ok, we get it. Students just want to have fun. That’s bad. Ok fine. But to say ALL students are just unspiritual, unchristian pagans? Really? So it is ubf against the world afterall? Give me a break!

“I believe that the focus of our ministry on preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ is pleasing to the Lord. However, there is one point that Steve Lutz makes, which we may need to heed. He describes a campus group known for its strong biblical, doctrinal, and teaching emphasis. Their students know the Scriptures inside and out. The problem, he says, is that they are ill-equipped to have a meaningful conversation with someone who doesn’t know or follow Christ (p. 32). “

Yes! That’s correct! Ah so Lutz makes one valid point that you should listen to. That’s good. Now we are getting somewhere. Or are we?

“This is serious. Lutz cites statistics that a majority of college students today (85%) identify themselves as non-believers. Some are downright hostile toward God. We need to understand their way of thinking and culture. We need to know their language in order to serve them more effectively. Studying the Bible with them once a week is not enough. This takes us to our last name in our identity—fellowship.”

Oh so ubf has already solved the problem Lutz speaks about. All that amazing fellowship at ubf creates such eloquent, world-class communicators! Ubf people can have such wonderful, graceful conversations with other people outside of ubf? So I would expect a boat-load of ubfriends articles and comments here, engaging all of the pagans like myself? Don’t hold your breath folks.

“II. UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP”

Now we get to what Daniel Lee really wants to talk about: UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP. Such a glorious name! Such a glorious ministry doing God’s work the best ways!

“Several years ago, one Bible student left our ministry, saying, “This church does not have love.” I was shocked and deeply hurt. We had served him with the word of God and prayer. We also shared many meals with him. But clearly he didn’t feel our love. St. Paul said, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing” (1Co 13:2). Since then, our church slogan is “To love God and to love each other” based on Jesus’ command. Of course, we realize that slogan doesn’t make a difference until we practice it.”

Correct! There is no love at ubf, in most ubf chapters. Why? Because serving is NOT love! It took you 50 years to figure that out?

“III. UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP”

Wait, wasn’t this the title of part 1 and part 2? Oh but we must revel in the glory of UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP some more. Did you get that? What is our identity? I forgot. Oh yea, UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP.

“Should we continue to focus on college mission? Well, this is in our name–University. Before we talk about this, let me ask you, “Would you raise your hand if you met Jesus personally while you were in college?” (Most of us!) I think this is one of the powerful reasons why we all love our ministry and want to help college students to come to know Christ.”

Wait, no I did NOT meet Christ first at ubf! I was conditioned to believe that was the case, but many of us had already met Christ BEFORE that fateful ubf bible study appointment. What about us? Why does that diminish your ministry?

“Ever since our early leaders gathered together in college campuses to study the word of God and pray, God has blessed our ministry. He raised up many disciples and sent out many missionaries to all over the world. Just as the Holy Spirit blessed the early churches in the book of Acts, God has blessed our ministries. This is a compelling reason why we should stick to our college mission.”

Ah the nostalgia. Ubf is so much like the early churches in the  bible.  That nostalgia is why we should stick to college mission. Isn’t that the best reason really? We always have done this, our “ancestors” always did this. And what is more, we are doing just what the first churches did. We are so glorious.

“Still, some may argue that God didn’t specifically say we should go to college campuses. Instead, Jesus told us to go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creations (Mk 16:15). He said we should go and make disciples of all nations (Mt 28:19).”

Correct, that is a good argument.

“So why limit ourselves to college campuses? This sounds reasonable. But I don’t believe that focusing a particular population group for evangelism is unbiblical either. After all, college students are part of the world and part of God’s creation. Just as God has blessed some ministries focused on prison inmates, entertainers or athletes, God can and has blessed the ministries focused on college students.”

Note: All those other ministries did not try to become a church. Ubf wants to be both a denominational church and a ministry network. And that is one reason why ubf will fall apart and split in the future.

“What makes campus mission difficult is that it takes a long time to raise a disciple of Jesus. Most college students do not expect to be longer than 4 years on campus. They want to move on. This makes small town ministries especially difficult.”

Yes this is precisely why ubf developed the six stage training program, to fit mostly in 4 years and to condition and entangle students to stay at least a few years after graduating.

“What I personally learned early on is that we should help students with the gospel of Jesus whether they stay in the ministry or not. If they move on to another city, we are sorry to see them go, but the word of God planted in them will stay with them. We need a long term approach. Lutz says, “Campus ministry can’t be concerned only with programs, events or activities that are happening next week. We must focus on the spiritual formation of students for the missio Dei, a lifetime of following Jesus and joining him in his mission, making our goal to make disciples for the mission of God. After all, wasn’t that Jesus’s primary goal?” (p. 104)”

Correct. Good advice. Let the students go free!

“In conclusion, God has used our Bible study ministry to raise up disciples of Jesus from among college students. Thank God for blessing the sacrifices and prayers of our precious coworkers. We have many challenges ahead. But we believe that God will continue to bless our campus ministries as we take care of young students with God’s words and prayers, out of our love for Jesus. May God help us to hear Jesus when he says to us, “As the Father has sent me, I am sending you”!”

Ok fine. But what about the families? What about the children? You speak as though your audience is made up of unmarried students.

Anyone think ubf will change? Think again. Just entertain the idea of a Christian ministry, but keep enabling, propagating and guarding the ubf heritage. World history is at stake and all of Christian history depends on it, apparently.

Our divorce from ubf

Our divorce is final. No, not from each other, but from ubf! As my wife and I talked during our anniversary trip, I realized that for the first time in 20 years, it was just us two talking. For 19 years, there was always a third person in our marriage, a strange, spiritual ménage-à-trois if you will. When you go through marriage-by-faith at ubf, you don’t just marry another person, you marry the ubf ideology. Your shepherds, your chapter directors and even the General Director become the phantom 3rd wheel in your marriage. Often you don’t even have to check your decisions with your shepherd in person. After you have been conditioned by the 6 stage KOPAHN training, your mind already knows what your shepherd will say, so you and your wife check your decisions with this 3rd wheel in your marriage, often without even visiting your chapter director.

So today I joyfully announce to our ubfriends community that my wife and I are absolutely, permanently and unequivocally divorced from the KOPAHN theological system!

Our erotic getaway

We celebrated our 20th wedding by a honeymoon do-over. We spent a multi-day trip getting to know each other biblically :) We talked for hours on end, played games like Yahtzee, watched movies, went swimming naked, and went out for dinner each night. It was a wonderful time of getting to know my wife. After more than 2 decades of neglecting our marriage, we finally threw off our KOPAHN entanglements. Did I mention we went swimming naked?

At ubf, sex is a taboo of taboo issues. So I want to mention something here briefly. Our anniversary celebration included exploring sex for pleasure, rather than merely a chore that is required to “produce sheep”. I’ll just say that we have opened up a whole new world and leave it at that…

Our 3rd Anniversary

As our regular readers here know, I resigned in a blaze of glory from ubf on July 4th 2011, and shut down Detroit ubf forever. So because I am conditioned to mark the time, I now count the years since that glorious day. Independence Day 2014 marks 3 years of freedom from the muck and mire of KOPAHN theology! And later this week we will celebrate with our larger family back home. We will celebrate not only the freedom of America that was bought with the blood of soldiers, not only the freedom we have in Jesus Christ our Lord that was bought with His blood, but especially the freedom our  family has gained from KOPAHN ideologies that was bought with our blood.

I have been detoxing from our ubf life and finally I feel healthy and renewed, as if poison has been drained out of my blood. I am free. I am happy. And I am discovering my authentic self– the guy who loves the Pittsburgh Steelers, the guy who loves sci-fi fantasy, the guy who loves philosophy, the guy who loves to write books and the amazing, family-centered guy that I need to be and love to be.

So what’s your story? Do you celebrate your wedding anniversary? If so, how will you celebrate?

Fantastic!

I saw this movie with my family last weekend. First of all I just want to express how majestic and amazing this movie is from a technical standpoint. The line between human actors and generated worlds and creatures was non-existent. Both flowed seamlessly together as one story. There were no “special effects”. The entire movie was a special effect.

The story is that of a familiar Western cultural fairy tale, but told in a remarkable new way, with rich perspectives that create a unique narrative but with respect to the old narrative. Three story lines stood out to me.

1. Dashed Dreams

“I had wings once, and they were strong. They could carry me above the clouds and into the headwinds, and they never faltered. Not even once.”

Why do some people give off a tone of bitterness or negativity? Well, perhaps it is because their wings were clipped. Perhaps such bitterness stems from intense injustice and pain in their past. Can such a person regain their wings and see their dreams again?

2. A Higher Love

“Oh come now Prince Phillip. Why so melancholy? A wondrous future lies before you – you, the destined hero of a charming fairy tale come true. Behold – King Stefan’s castle. And in yonder topmost tower, dreaming of her true love, the Princess Aurora. But see the gracious whim of fate – why, ’tis the self-same peasant maid, who won the heart of our noble prince but yesterday. She is indeed, most wondrous fair. Gold of sunshine in her hair, lips that shame the red red rose. In ageless sleep, she finds repose. The years roll by, but a hundred years to a steadfast heart, are but a day. And now, the gates of a dungeon part, and our prince is free to go his way. Off he rides, on his noble steed, a valiant figure, straight and tall! To wake his love, with love’s first kiss. And prove that “true love” conquers all!”

As with the movie “Frozen”, I give kudos to Maleficent for showing us a love higher than romantic love. Christians have historically demonstrated such higher love and yet in today’s world, we Christians seem to have forgotten such love. The church is entangled with romantic love and bitterly fighting sexual-related issues. Perhaps the church might learn from the world about higher forms of love?

3. Both Hero and Villain

“But, as many thought whenever they saw the graceful figure soaring through the air, it took a great hero and a terrible villain to make it all come about. And her name was Maleficent.”

When two opposing kingdoms are at war, how can they be united? How can the yin/yang cycle be broken? Maleficent offers an intriguing (and eerily familiar to me) solution. Sometimes when two sides are continually fighting, someone needs to step up and be both hero and villain. It was both shocking and massively comforting for me to watch a grand visual representation of exactly the role I believe the Holy Spirit has led me to play: both hero and villain for the sake of unity.

Questions:

If you saw this movie, what are your reactions? What can we learn here? What do you think about the dual role of both hero and villain? Is this solution to broken kingdoms viable?

Director Training Material

As a director at ubf, I expected to be invited to director meetings. I was not however. Not once was I ever invited to attend a director’s conference or even told what a director should do. It’s probably for the best however, because we all know that ubf director’s conferences are held in the Korean language and attended by Korean ubf people. So right away it became clear to me that I was not really a director, but just a figurehead. In Detroit ubf, it became clear to me that ubf HQ (as we called Chicago ubf) only wanted two things: 1) Weekly stats reporting 2) Staff conference attendance. I was rather surprised when no one cared about our $0 offering year after year. Stats and attendance seemed to be vastly more important to the leaders in HQ.

Still as a director I got on some high level email lists (which came in handy :) and was able to obtain some director training material. This material is not much, and mostly just the typical ubf nostalgic hagiography. But one presentation stood out. It described the ubf discipleship training model in stunning clarity. I suddenly began to understand what had been going on all those years at ubf. Why had I felt so much friction? What standard was I being held to? All the undocumented teachings I had vaguely bumped into became clear.

2010 UBF Directors’ Conference: Fishing and Outreach

The title of the teaching presentation I obtained is Fishing and Outreach. Note: This slide is publicly available, so contact me if you want the public link or search for yourself. This presentation is a prime example of how ubf directors are taught and trained.

The slides are grouped into four sections. Most of the slides are odd diagrams and goofy pictures.

1. UBF Growth Principles (slides 3 to 5)
2. Natural Principles (slide 6 to 8)
3. Fishing and Outreach (slides 9 to 21)
4. Motivation (slide 22)

The first group of slides presents various principles of growth. There is mention of “releasing the divine growth forces which God himself grows his church”. The apparent claim is that natural growth is the best way to grow, and that ubf has grown naturally so far. This section contains a confusing slide with a lot of world flags mentioning something written by Christian A. Schwarz from Germany.

High Quality

The second group of slides attempts to explain the natural principles behind natural growth. One slide lists 8 “quality characteristics”, such as “inspiring worship service”, “need oriented evangelism” and “loving relationship”. This section presents the infamous “minimum barrel” principle. So sheep in ubf had better make sure you are not the shortest plank in the barrel…

Disciple Products

This third group seems to start abruptly at slide 9 which is just labeled “UBF Ministry”. No I’m not mocking ubf here. Slide 12 literally shows the ubf process of ministry with the outcome labelled “Disciple Products”. All the normal activities ubf folks know about are listed, such as Summer Bible Conference. Apparently outreach is supposed to be just a lot of ubf activity, which makes up the largest section of this presentation. You have to see these slides, 9 to 21, for yourself. It’s a wild trip through ubf-land.

Shepherds Falling in Love with Sheep

Slide 20 however stands out to me. The title is “Relationship Developing Steps”. The steps are exactly how two people fall in love (maybe). But don’t think this is about dating. No way. This is about how a shepherd is supposed to fall in love!

Now go do it!

The final group is just one slide: Motivation. Only two motivations are given:

1. Absolute Gospel Power
2. Gospel Vision

Summary of the ubf Training Model

The most useful slide in this presentation for me was slide 10, which is titled “Ministry System”.

The goal of this system is clearly to break you down, shredding your authentic identity and give you a new identity as a shepherd. This ministry process was detailed quite well in an old newspaper article.

This is how the model is supposed to work. Six stages and about 7 years and out comes a ubf shepherd or shepherdess. However, because this model is about psychological identity remaking, it has to be an endless cycle of re-orientation and re-building. The model does not always work and has been adjusted at each ubf chapter for each ubf sheep. How does this model compare to what happens in Russia, Ukraine, Germany, China, Mexico, Canada?

The first three stages of UBF training may be categorized as “sheep training”. The goal is to secure a person’s commitment to the UBF ways. The UBF leaders seek to produce a person committed to weekly UBF bible study (Stage 1: Birthing), a person willing to adopt the UBF worldview (Stage 2: Rooting) and a person willing to continue the training and become a UBF shepherd (Stage 3: Growing).

The second three stages of UBF training may be categorized as “shepherd training”. The goal is to secure a person’s resources for the rest of their life. UBF leaders want a person’s identity (Stage 4: Disciple Training), a person’s obedience (Stage 5: Soldier Training) and a person’s lifelong loyalty (Stage 6: Leader Training).

The content of these six stages may be adjusted for each student UBF encounters. The overall plan takes about 7 to 9 years and is practiced with some degree of consistency by UBF chapters around the world. One question though: What do you do after Stage 6? The expectation is that you live as a lifelong UBF loyalist and recruiter.

Based on this director training presentation and my own experience at ubf for 24 years, I came up with this matrix that explains the ubf discipleship training model. One problem (as Forests already pointed out) is that this model does not do well with independent, critical thinkers. So the stages sometimes get messed up. In the past, that is where dead dog training would kick in (sometimes with physical violence) to “produce” a more tame sheep who could then be trained more easily in this system.

Would not all Christ-followers agree with this primary message of Scripture? Is this not a great example of missional-ecumenism? Don’t all our disagreements pale in light of who He is? Might we all find a way forward as the Body of Christ under this banner? What are your reactions to this?

http://bravehearted.com/

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Prayer as calling God long distance

For most of my life I imagined God sitting in heaven, millions of miles away. Communicating with God was like making a long distance call on a telephone. The call went something like this: “Dear most gracious father in heaven, thank you for your great work. Help me to overcome my laziness. I am the worst of sinners but thank you for your amazing love for me. Please help my sheep to repent of being family-centered and come to the summer bible conference. Open his heart, Lord, and give him a new desire to accept my invitation. May God make America a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. I pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.”

This kind of repeated long distance call left me empty, weak and confused after two decades of praying this way. I realize now some reasons why. One reason is that this prayer was a one way dictation of my needs to God. By constantly telling God what I wanted and what I wanted to be accomplished, I was treating God like a big vending machine in the sky. Another reason is that I kept praying to God this way out of fear. And another big reason for my emptiness came from dictating my will to God. That gets strenuous after a while. There was no room to listen to God, prayer was just me talking to God about myself and others. So my prayer life was marked by personal ambition, fear, and dictation.

Prayer as daily communion with the Spirit

As I’ve already shared, about 3 years ago I felt the Holy Spirit come over me in an unmistakable and very tangible manner after a certain phone call. Since then, my prayer life changed almost immediately. I no longer have any specific time set aside “to pray”. No longer do I envision God in heaven miles away. Still, at first, I felt guilty for not praying to God in heaven at a specific time as I always had for decades. That kind of prayer is fine to do, but I wanted something more. So I tried to do just that. But when I did that I had a noticeable feeling that I was ignoring someone right next to me, as if I was calling my grandmother in another city only to hear her cell phone ring because she was sitting right next to me. Making such a long distance call to talk to my grandmother on her cell phone when she is sitting in the same room as me would be very rude and insulting to her.

So prayer for me has become a daily communion with the Holy Spirit. No talking or communicating was involved at first. I just sensed a strong presence of God, always very near, almost inside me. From that first moment in 2011, my mind, heart and soul have been at peace, almost consumed by an effervescent comfort, joy and love. I felt surrounded by a protective, safe presence. That presence is so beautiful and amazing that sinful desires melt away far more quickly than ever before. Brother Lawrence seemed to explain my experience exactly in his book “The Practice of the presence of God”. I could never generate such a presence myself, it just happened suddenly and unexpectedly at one of the lowest points of my life.

For example:

“God is our “end.” If we are diligently practicing His presence, we shouldn’t need our former “means.” We can continue our exchange of love with Him by just remaining in His holy presence. Adore Him and praise Him!” –The Practice of the Presence of God (Brother Lawrence) Loc. 196-97

Thankfully, these worries did not weaken my faith in God, but actually made it stronger. When I finally reached the point where I expected the rest of my life to be very difficult, I suddenly found myself wholly changed.
” –The Practice of the Presence of God (Brother Lawrence) Loc. 218-20

“I don’t know what’s to become of me. It seems that a tranquil soul and a quiet spirit come to me even while I sleep. Because I am at rest, the trials of life bring me no suffering. I don’t know what God has in store for me, but I feel so serene that it doesnt matter.
” –The Practice of the Presence of God (Brother Lawrence) Loc. 286-87

Prayer as listening and discerning

One of the biggest revelations I’ve had about prayer is that prayer is mostly listening. Yes we have words to say to God. The Psalmists show us how we can express all kinds of emotions to God (without ticking God off!) And our Lord and Savior gave us the grand examples of how to pray. But both the Psalmists and Jesus listened to God, not only dictating their will to God, but trying to discern what God would have them do, and then struggling to obey.

Here is my brief outline of ways I’ve been learning to listen to God by hearing what the Holy Spirit is saying to me. The question here is this: How do I listen to God, discern God’s voice from other voices and obey what God would have me do?

1. The Holy Spirit guides us through…
-prompting (raising questions; leaving words impressed in our mind)
-prohibiting (raising objections; sudden sense of not doing something)
-clarifying (discover the root of anger, source of confusion)

2. The Holy Scriptures guide us through…
-explicit phrases (not just one word or verse but paragraphs and books)
-self-interpretation (bible teaches about itself)
-stories (teaching us principles not always specific laws to conform to)

3. The Holy people of God (other believers) guide us through…
-perspective (speaking words that speak to us)
-accountability (calling us out)
-listening (hearing our stories)

More questions

As I said in my intro, this article is not complete. I want to share my story and find out if anyone else has anything to share about communicating with God.

How do you listen to God? How have you encountered the Holy Spirit? What is your prayer life like? What do you think it means to discern God’s will? Who determines God’s will for your life?

Some further reading

In addition to The Practice of the Presence of God, I find this article helpful:

What does the bible say about communicating with God?

“Believers should constantly examine their communication. We should consider the tone of newer forms of communication such as email and text messaging. We should never allow the safety of a computer screen to lead us to harsh or ungodly words toward others. We should consider our body language and facial expressions toward others as well. Simply withholding words is meaningless when our body language communicates disdain, anger, or hatred toward another. When engaged in conversation, as we prepare to speak, we should ask ourselves these questions: it is true (Exodus 20:16)? Is it kind (Titus 3:2)? Is it necessary (Proverbs 11:22)?”

Book #1 – Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives

I blogged major sections of this book here on ubfriends.

Rest Unleashed excerpts on our ubfriends blog

Book #2 – Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives

I blogged major sections of this second book on my personal theology blog:

Goodness Found excerpts on my Lambhearted lion blog

Tell us your story?

If you are looking for a healthy way to comprehend and recover from a controlling ministry or other traumatic experience, please consider contacting us and submitting an article to tell us your story. Until the lions tell their stories, history belongs to the hunters (African proverb)

Is ordination is a waste of time?

Many questions arose in my mind after resigning from being a ubf director. Are Christian pastors neglecting God’s world mission command? Is doctrinal study useless? For may years while at ubf, my opinion of ordained Christian pastors was poor, to say the least. All of us ubf shepherds I knew shared a similar attitude: Ordination is not necessary and even a waste of time. We also shared the opinion that most, if not all, Christian pastors outside of ubf were selfish sinners who were neglecting God’s world mission command to feed Jesus’ sheep. We viewed ourselves as the “true Shepherds”. We held onto our Shepherd X identity so strongly that we could not conceive the idea that ordained pastors had anything of real value to offer the world. I remember being so proud of that idea that we had almost all college students in our ministry, while those ordained pastors focused on old people and neglected the youth of our generation. I recall vividly the idea that we ubf Shepherds (always spelled with a capital S) had the pure, untainted bible messages because we didn’t waste time with commentaries, books or foolish ordination doctrines. Christian doctrine, we thought, just got in the way and caused divisions. Besides, the teachings of Jesus are so obvious and simple to understand. What really matters is what we do… or so I thought.

Are Psychology and Philosophy distractions from God’s mission?

The first thing that struck me from interacting with Christian pastors is their respect and knowledge of psychology and philosophy. They really knew how to interact and communicate with other human beings. These pastors respected me and my perspective. They listened to my opinions. They shared frankly with me. They spoke God’s word to me. They befriended me. One of them ate with me in a bar. Not one of them violated my conscience. Not one of them intruded into my emotions. Not one of them disrespected my autonomy. And every one of them respected my claim to be a Christian. In short, these Christian pastors entered my life the proper way, through Jesus the door for the sheep.

The pastors I met are all deeply committed to knowing the bible and their knowledge of psychology and philosophy greatly enhanced their understanding of the bible, contrary to what I had always thought, namely that such things were distractions from bible study. Realizing this made me see myself in a new light. I was not some superior Shepherd Brian who knew more about obeying Jesus than Christian pastors. I was just some guy who read the bible text a lot. I discovered that my disdain for psychology and philosophy and doctrinal study and ordination was what kept me as an amateur leader and immature Christian. This helped me see that the ubf heritage is not some world-class training system, but an ideological system that is vastly inferior to the systems the Christian church has employed over the years. I found also that I had become disconnected from the rich, diverse, and magnificent historical fabric of Christianity.

Jesus is the Shepherd

The other big thing I noticed from my interactions with Christian pastors is their kingdom attitude. They all surrendered to our Lord Jesus Christ. None of them demanded my obedience or asked for my submission to their authority. It was clear from my interactions that Jesus is both Lord and Savior.

And thus my grand experiment was over. Sometime in 2010, I had decided to find out if my shepherds in ubf were Christian pastors. I asked questions. I spoke frankly. I attempted to interact just the way I did later on with the Christian pastors. What I found at ubf was a lot of hired hands. Almost everyone abandoned me when I expressed my honest thoughts and feelings too much. Of course, then things got ugly as the “Karcher” in me kicked in. But after interacting with Christian pastors outside of ubf, I  am fully convinced that such a thing would never have escalated to the bitter heights that my interactions with ubf shepherds escalated to. Christian pastors would have reacted very very differently from the ubf leaders.

So today I ask anyone in ubf to do the same experiment. At your next testimony sharing, share your honest thoughts, feelings and perspectives. Say what you want to say. Declare Jesus as Lord and Savior, and that Jesus alone has all authority and power and glory. Begin respecting the door to the sheep, Jesus. Start connecting with Christian pastors on the campus, in the city you live in.

Oh and one more bit of advice. If any ubfer wants to learn about how to become a Christian pastor, please visit pastor Ben Toh at Westloop Church. Then take a trip to Penn State :)

John 10:1-21 ESV

“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. 2 But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. 3 To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. 5 A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” 6 This figure of speech Jesus used with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them.

7 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”

19 There was again a division among the Jews because of these words. 20 Many of them said, “He has a demon, and is insane; why listen to him?” 21 Others said, “These are not the words of one who is oppressed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”

Breaking the yoke of undue religious influence

Undue influence. What does that mean? Why does it become a yoke that is harmful to the human soul? How can someone break free from such a yoke? Such questions deserve much deeper thought, and will become the subject of my future books. In today’s narrative, I aim only to introduce the concept and then tell part of my life story.

Undue influence is influence by which a person is induced to act otherwise than by their own free will or without adequate attention to the consequences. The word “undue” is important in this definition. When some force is undue, that force is unwarranted or inappropriate because it is excessive or disproportionate to the object of that force. Sometimes that force is actually a weak force, like the tether on an adult elephant that had existed since the elephant was young. The power of undue religious influence may not be in its coercion but in its perception. Such influence may be carried out not by actual force, but by perceived force or imagined consequences.

Some undue influence might be easily identifiable because the influence is so over-the-top that no person would accept such influence under normal circumstances. An example of obvious undue influence would be a kidnapping of someone and taking them to a concentration camp. We can rather universally recognize this kind of undue influence as being harmful and wrong. Most undue influence in the religious realm however is more difficult to identify. The influence that one person can handle safely may in fact be undue influence on a different person who cannot handle that kind of influence at that time. Such confusion and subtlety often allows the perpetrators of undue influence to justify their abusive tactics because they can point to some examples of successful transformation due to their influence. In some cases, the influence falls into the blind spot of the perpetrators, so that they don’t even realize they are causing undue influence on someone.

My Unholy Devotion To Religion

After my father’s death, I threw myself into the UBF lifestyle. I adopted Ed and the Korean man as my spiritual fathers. The UBF community became my family. The leaders became my spiritual parents. This meant that I would submit my entire life to being trained by my UBF shepherds. That is the UBF way—every member must have a shepherd. The shepherds are self-appointed and choose the sheep they want. A chance meeting on campus meant that it was God’s divine will that you become the sheep of that person. This shepherd sheep relationship was meant to be lifelong, and would even persist into heaven we thought. So I would be eternally submissive to my UBF shepherd out of a desire to be a preacher for God. This provided me with the safety and security and protection I was looking for. I used the UBF community to replace what I lost in my father and to escape the dark reality of life around me. I hid myself in the UBF ideologies, escaping every minute I could to read the bible and avoid the real world. And so my desire to be a preacher for God was born.
Soon I wrote and shared my UBF life testimony, boldly declaring praise to God for my father who had found salvation in Jesus. And around this time I discovered the deep faith of my grandparents, especially my grandmother. She loved my life testimony. She made several paper copies and mailed them the friends and family all over the country. She also made copies of the video of my sharing and played it for all her friends at church. She told me I should be a preacher someday.

My grandparents became a foundation of Christian faith for me. I have always been encouraged by their faithful, devoted and explicit belief in Jesus and their unconditional love for people. They had opinions about politics, religions and the like, but for them, goodness reigned supreme. My grandma was therefore very concerned about UBF right from the start. She always told me that bible study is good, but too much bible study is like too much salt when you cook. God’s messages are about love. We can’t forget God’s love and we can never forget our family. Looking back I wonder how she and the rest of my family endured my 24 years of UBF life. But their goodness and their love was the buoy that always righted my ship.

New Friends, Bold Decisions, Restored Relationships

The big event of our lives happened in 2011. To make a long story short: We left UBF. This means nothing to most people. Leaving a church? Not a big deal. But leaving UBF is different. It equates to losing your salvation because UBF requires each person to be loyally submitted to a UBF shepherd, usually a Korean. But finally I had enough. I began to fear the bitterness, depression and anger in my soul more than any retribution from God or from UBF shepherds. So I resigned.

We sent shockwaves throughout the 6,000 member organization worldwide. I had not intended to leave UBF. I actually just wanted to find out some answers the problems a dozen or so of my friends in UBF had been confiding in me since moving to Detroit. But I finally had enough of pretending to be a holy soldier. So I sent a report into my shepherd telling him my honest feelings. That didn’t go over so well. Within two hours of receiving my report via email, he called me. I could tell he was angry. He told me any problems in UBF were none of my business. He further said that any spiritual deadness I had been observing was because I was the one who was spiritually dead. As soon as I hung up the phone, I experienced the Holy Spirit come alive in me like never before. I suddenly knew God had a purpose for me: expose the problematic dark side of UBF. I saw clearly that UBF suffered from the same authority-based problems that the Shepherding Movement did in the 1970’s in America. In an instant my mind was released from the bondage of guilt and all the abuses in UBF I had ignored or dismissed came to mind.

I then embarked on an amazing journey of recovery from the controlling, guilt-ridden, shame-soaked life we had lived in UBF. I was done with the holy soldier façade. This journey was not so different from the journey of Pi in the movie “Life of Pi” or Truman in the movie “The Truman Show” or the blind girl in the M. Night Shyamalan movie “The Village”. In fact I began watching many movies, especially children’s movies, because I found so many connections with the characters in the movies, such as Tangled. I felt I was Repunzel being set free from her castle tower! Finally I was at peace.

The most exciting part of this journey for me has been connecting with people at Grace Community Church in Detroit. That first lunch with pastor Bryan was an important reality check for me, one that helped me realize there are many Christians outside UBF (imagine that!). Attending the 6:00 am bible study led by pastor Wayne was eye-opening. It was his “Be Armed” series that corrected a lot of false teaching I had picked up. I realized then that for all my thousands of hours of bible study, I had never learned the basic doctrines of Christianity. Even as I continue go through a transformational paradigm-shift in my faith, those basic doctrines hold true and provide an anchor for my faith.

Pastor Wayne baptized me on April 29, 2012. I had decided to be baptized as a way to confirm that I had left UBF had given my life to be a Christ-follower. I’ll never forget pastor Wayne’s words to me just before going under: “You are now free form the teachings of one man.” Now I’m glad to be part of pastor Wayne’s intercessory prayer team, praying for Renewal Church and his new role there. Grace Community Church became a safe house for me and our family. Pastor Bryan was a God-send to my wife and I. His sermons were so full of love, goodness and humor—and so deeply drawn from the well of grace and love—that each Sunday my soul mended a little more.

My wife and I joined a bible study group with Pastor Bryan. And we were utterly shocked to discover what genuine Christian teaching was all about. We found that we had been taught a Christianized form of Eastern philosophy, which continues to be one of our biggest problems. Through Pastor Bryan’s help and the help of our newfound Christian community, our family is being healed day by day. Now my wife and I are renewing our relationship, going on dates, finding out each other’s character and making up for nearly 20 years of lost time.

Breaking the yoke of guilt

“We never taught that!”… words I’ve heard often after leaving my former religious organization. One of my most impactful and life-changing discoveries I made after resigning from my leadership position in a fundamentalist, fringe Korean religious group was that my theology was deeply flawed because we were holding onto implied gospel messages that were filled with holes and superficial, un-Christ-like ideologies. Of course the group leaders could claim they never taught the things I was renouncing and criticizing them for on my blog. Our flawed gospel messages were not normally taught explicitly. Most of the time, our shallow gospel was taught implicitly, taught underhandedly through a praise/shame system. We knew exactly what we were teaching, what kind of behavior we expected in ourselves and in new recruits, but we rarely documented such things explicitly. That way all those “R-Group people” (our term for former members) would not be able to prove anything.

I found that I had the facts of the gospel correct—the gospel is about Jesus, his birth, life, ministry, suffering, death, resurrection, ascension and future reign—but I had come to accept some very non-gospel messages. I accepted, for example, that I must remain loyal to my personal spiritual supervisor the rest of my life, checking with him for major life decisions to see if my decisions were “God’s will”. We called this “spiritual order”. I also accepted that it was not possible to leave the group I was in, or at least not if I wanted to be in Heaven one day. In fact we created an entire heritage system of implied beliefs—beliefs that are not taught by the bible text directly but that seem to be implied from the text. It was a grand biblical proof-texted ideology. Sometimes this heritage was then explicitly taught. Looking back, I see that I didn’t actually believe such teachings, but I accepted them. I overlooked the built-in contradictions and did my best to apologize for and to perpetuate the flawed theology.

Five Explicit Gospel Messages

In “The Explicit Gospel”, Matt Chandler eloquently articulates the content of the gospel, brilliantly describing the gospel as what he rightly calls “the gospel on the ground and the gospel in the air”. In “Your Church is too Small”, John H. Armstrong earnestly and magnificently expresses the result of the gospel, as an exhortation to see the Church holistically, comprehensively, historically and missionally, and yet in a fresh, new light based on Jesus’ prayer for unity in John 17. In “Eyes That See, Ears That Hear”, James Danaher repaints the theological framework of Christianity, expressing the fabric of the gospel so that we can perceive the gospel as we continue the epic transition from modernity to post-modernity and beyond. In “Fundamorphosis”, Robb Ryerse brings to life his amazing journey of transformation, renewal and regeneration that reveals the power of the gospel to change and transform in a personal and approachable way. And in “What We Believe and Why”, George Koch presents a masterpiece of theological constructs that connect ancient thoughts on faith with current discoveries in a grand panorama of the faith of the gospel, meticulously documenting the essentials and the basics, the origins and the foundational truths of what Christians believe in an accessible manner few have accomplished. These five books have profoundly shaped my narrative about the gospel, and ought to be collected in some sort of “modern to post-modern transition library” as five classic books that capture the Christian faith in our generation.

I have found these gospel messages to be immensely helpful in guiding my conversations on religious or philosophical discussions. And then suddenly the gospel began to come alive, unleashed from the yoke of my shallow, misguided, guilt-laden, proof-texted notions.

• The gospel is about the kingdom. “And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come” (Matthew 24:14).

• The gospel is about God’s grace. “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me–the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace” (Acts 20:24).

• The gospel is about the glory of Christ. “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God” (2 Corinthians 4:4).

• The gospel is about salvation. “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit…” (Ephesians 1:13).

• The gospel is about peace. “…and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace” (Ephesians 6:15).

Communal Salvation

It’s a small world after all. Our world today is smaller in that we are more inter-connected and inter-dependent than at any time in world history. Instant, global communication and rapid world-wide travel is commonplace. The worldwide Christian church is starting to realize that there is only one faith, one hope, one Lord and one body. Our theologies and gospel messages must now pass the test of global criticism. Perhaps we are on the verge of a new kind of uniting by the Holy Spirit that does not define boundaries? Clearly church communities have been ripped to shreds in recent years. Could the Spirit now be uniting entirely new communities, reforming the shattered body of Christ into a vastly more healthy and loving world-wide community?

Personal Liberation

Jesus did not come to bind believers to an upgraded law or to yoke us with a heavy mask to hide our real identities. Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11:30). Jesus came to give rest for the soul of the believer. Do you believe that? For most of my life I tried to believe that, but in my mind I always concluded: “Easy and light? Yea right! You gotta be kiddin’ me! Christian life is anything but easy or light…” I believed the gospel Jesus taught, but I lived my life as if I were a donkey tethered to a millstone. My only claim was “Yes I’m tied to a millstone, but it is a better millstone than what Moses gave!” I thought, “My millstone came from Jesus, and I’m going to pull it by golly!” So I became weary in all I did. Everything became meaningless.

If we see the Sermon on the Mount and walk away sad or burdened with guilt or heavy laden with anxiety, we’re hearing implied messages that are not of the explicit gospel messages Jesus taught. Jesus’ yoke is not a new way to be tethered to the law. Jesus’ yoke is grace. Jesus’ invitation to find rest for your soul still stands open today.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

My parents have supported me far more than necessary. My mother and step-father, Linda and Joseph A. Yenser, along with my grandparents, Louie and Simone, and my wife’s parents, Tibor and Sandra, and all my family especially my two brothers Darrin and Donny have been a bedrock of goodness and an ocean of love for me. I was both grateful and excited to receive the raven artwork from my stepfather, Joseph A. Yenser.

My friend John H. Armstrong, who spoke the six words that inspired this book, “I will not bind your conscience.”, has been a model of love and unity to me. My friend Ben Toh, a pastor in the Chicago West Loop area, has been a great sounding board, and a friend who is not afraid to disagree with me. Ben is truly a raven among ravens.

My friends in University Bible Fellowship (UBF), the community who exerted undue religious influence on my life and thus ironically shaped the narratives in this book, have hope to be redeemed into a healthy community when the stories of former members are narrated, processed and acted upon with love, grace and truth.

My friend Chris Z, who I once considered my enemy, has become my friend and has been a continual reality check for my thinking, as have all my encounters with former members of UBF.

My friend and author Andrew Martin was instrumental in shaping this book because of his book, “The Year the World Ended”. His journey parallels mine and he has become a good friend in the midst of much turmoil.

Our four children, Ruth, Anna, Noah and John have made my life rich, exciting and far more happy than I could ever have experienced myself. My life is filled with joy because of them.

My wife of 20 years, Mary, deserves much credit for this book, for it is she who is a writer, who has an English Literature PhD and who understands what I intend to say. Her endless love for me has made anything I do possible. Thank you and I love you.

Father, Forgive Them

The story of Jacob and Esau is a grand narrative of blessing, deception, hatred and division. And a narrative that occupies a large part of biblical text, not only in quantity of chapters but in importance of teaching. Apostle Paul’s symphonic text called Romans weaves the story of Jacob and Esau into a masterpiece. In my studies of Genesis, always the perspective of Jacob was presented. The thought occurred to me, however, to take a look at the perspective of Esau. Why would I do that? Esau is the patriarch of God’s enemies. Esau is an ungodly man. God hates Esau. All this is true, I admit. But Jesus said, “consider the ravens” in Luke 12:24. Look at the ravens. Who is more of a raven than Esau, the patriarch of God’s enemies and the Edomites, the community of God’s enemies? Is there something to be learned from Esau beyond “hate your enemy”?

What if God forgives his enemies?

Will God do this? Will God answer Jesus’ cross-originated prayer to forgive his enemies, God’s enemies? Could there be forgiveness beyond the judgment of God? How might the enemies of God find the forgiveness of God? As I searched the bible feverishly and prayed for answers to such questions, I didn’t find all the answers. But I did find someone who wrestled with these kinds of questions. And he wrestled with these questions in light of the Jacob and Esau narrative. His name was Paul the Apostle. In Romans chapter 9, he wrestles with such questions: What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath–prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory– even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles? (Romans 9:22-24)

Who is this coming from Edom?

If the way for human beings to see Christ-likeness is forgiveness of enemies, how would we see any Christ-likeness in the God of Abraham if we don’t observe God forgiving the enemies of God? Could it be that the angry, sadistic-like God of the Old Testament “repented” on the cross? Might it be possible that people of faith are not to follow the God who kills enemies but the God who loves enemies?

I believe Isaiah saw just such a vision recorded in Isaiah 63:1-6.

Could we not see Isaiah’s vision with eyes of the cross? Now that we have the gospel accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, we surely can see a glimpse of the world through Jesus’ eyes. Might we now see the love of God and the cosmic redemption story in Isaiah’s vision? In light of the cross, I see “their blood” as becoming the “blood of the lamb” and “anger” being transformed into “love and forgiveness”. Just as swords will be one day beaten into plowshares (Micah 4:3), might the wrath of God be changed into the love of God? Might we be changed from identifying and killing our enemies into forgiving and loving our enemies without condition on the basis of the cross of Jesus alone? Who is this coming from Edom, from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson? Who is this, robed in splendor, striding forward in the greatness of his strength? It is Jesus.

One of the most important take-aways from Robb’s book for me is the need for each generation of Christians to seek out and embrace ourselves, our God and our theology in the sea of change. Fundamorphosis challenges us to go beyond a “receive and believe” approach.

A new journey, connected to the past

Throughout history, Christianity has been represented by various symbols. Each generation has struggled to understand the words of Jesus and the Bible authors. We have much to learn from them. The cross was the first symbol, and remains the most important. The fish was used early on, no doubt due to the fishermen Jesus called.

Robb does not dismiss the early tradition and rich history of Christianity. In fact, he points us toward such things, with the hope of instilling a new desire for satisfaction from our Christian faith. At the same time, Fundamorphosis is an invitation to find a new identity. The identity of the butterfly, and the related metamorphosis process, captures the essence of what God through the Holy Spirit is doing around the world today. I say this with confidence based on my own transformation out of my own cocoon of evangelicalism and based on thousands of online and in-person conversations with Christians from around America and around the world.

The power of Fundamorphosis lies not in introducing some “new theology” or a “better system of answers”, but in capturing one man’s transformation out of a static, burned-out, joyless Phariseeism and into a vibrant, ever-changing Christ-followership.

Love and hope, not apostasy

Immediately I could sense Robb’s love for those who “believe with certitude” the tenants of fundamentalist Christianity. Unlike others in our generation, Robb does not condemn fundamentalist Christians. Instead, Robb tells the story of his own journey. At one point he declares: “I still love the church”.

Robb is on an amazing journey, but he has not given up on church. With grace and careful thought, Robb invites all of us to a deeper faith, a more flexible commitment and a broader inclusion of people. Fundamorphosis is filled with words of hope and life and joy from beginning to end. It may be that many will read his book secretly (Kindle is a good way for that :) Those who do will surely find love, not judgement or dismissiveness.

Sharing the pain and struggle

“We wrestled with what to do. We contemplated what it would take for us to be agents of change within our church.” (Fundamorphosis, location 367, Kindle Edition)

Just as a caterpillar might wonder what is happening as the cocoon spins around it, Robb is candid with his and his family’s struggle. His transformation was not without a “dark night of soul”. With vivid memories interwoven into his narrative, Robb gives us a real look into his struggles. Such vulnerability is much needed today.

A journey of self discovery

“Doubt actually frees me to admit that I don’t have all the answers and that I can’t figure it all out. And when I am willing to admit this truth about myself, I experience a true hope.” (location 949, Kindle Edition)

One of the threads throughout Fundamorphosis is Robb’s personal self discovery journey, a journey that includes both doubt and faith. St. Augustine’s prayer regarding “self” and “God” is certainly true.

Conclusion

Fundamorphosis is a snapshot of what God is doing in our generation. These are not times of doom and gloom, but one of the most exciting and hopeful times in all history. Thank you Robb for articulating the essence of what the Spirit has been teaching me and for expressing what is on the minds of many! And perhaps what we all need is a fundamorphosis. Isn’t that a big part of the discipleship Jesus invites us to? We may study the bible for thousands of hours every year. But has all that study lead us into a deep, personal, relational, missional, ecumenical, communal transformation because of the amazing, effervescent, joyful, all-surpassing glory and hope of the new wine Jesus is offering?

Today our new Friend submitted a thoughtful, heartfelt and well-articulated article entitled “What next?” I want to share my response as an article instead of a comment because I have far too many emotions and thoughts racing through my veins. I am both excited and encouraged to read Friend’s thoughts. But I don’t want to go backward in my journey. I have asked myself that question thousands of times the past three years since resigning from UBF on July 4th, 2011. What do I do now? UBF shepherds promised to make my name great like Abraham, to train me to be a world-class leader, to learn how to be a Christian missionary and how to deeply study the bible. Those promises turned out to be a mirage for me. I have no idea and no authority to determine what is next for UBF ministry or people. What I can do is concern about what is next for me and my family. Here are my thoughts.

Cultural and Emotional Healing

I am far from a world-class leader. After leaving UBF I found that I could barely speak my own language fluently. I had lost the ability to speak and think at “American-speed”. In order to survive my UBF tenure of 24 years, my emotions had been bound up and stored away in a dark corner of my heart. My conscience had been cut out in order to sustain the massive amount of cognitive dissonance it required to enable and propagate the KOPHN fantasy. So I will continue my quest to restore my American identity, connect with my Roman Catholic roots, rejuvenate my emotions and restore my conscience.

Writing Books!

One of the reasons I stayed in  UBF that I discovered through writing my second book is that I have a massive desire for self-glory and fame. UBF fed this desire well. So well in fact that after leaving UBF I became the infamous detractor, and most vocal critic. That is the lot of all of us who seek fame– infamy awaits. I decided however to turn this into something good. I discovered the joy of writing books. Today Amazon published my second. Here are the links to my books:

•  Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives (paperback | Kindle)
  Publication date: May 12, 2014

• Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives (paperback | Kindle)
  Publication date: March 26, 2014

More Books about UBF

What is next for UBF ministry is uncertain. UBF is at a crossroads. What is certain is that more and more publicity is headed UBF’s way. There have been many internet testimonies and some TV interviews at places like Chicago UBF and Toledo UBF. Now there will be more and more books published about people’s experiences at UBF.

• I Choose: Subtlety in Cults, Isabelle Renaud (Kindle)
  Publication Date: November 30, 2013
  

“I wrote this book to explain how easily someone can get trapped in a controlling group or relationship. This book is not about religion, it is about the organizational structure and emotional manipulation. It is about finding yourself after losing yourself.

Isabelle was in university when she entered a Christian group called University Bible Fellowship. During the following years, she acquired her experience on cults while spending three years in UBF and working for various community organizations.”

The New UBF Heritage saving website

Here is it:   http://history.ubfservice.com/

Factual history?

Will this new website contain any factual ubf history? Will it include the reform events of 1976, 1989, 2000 and 2011? Will there be any mention of Ben’s Westloop chapter?

The Purpose

“Our mission is to promote and facilitate the publication of UBF history. We have chosen Luke 1:1-4 as our guide. History is classified in various ways. For example, it is classified by age, geography, nation or topics such as politics and economics. We classify our history by four areas: reports, chapters, people and heritage. Reports are written documents on current events. Those become part of history as years pass. Chapter history is about its birth, growth and development. It is the building block for regional, national and world history. It includes evaluation of the past for future. People history is the biography of individual. Heritage is what happened in the past, remains today and shapes our future.”

The Heritage

If you don’t know the ubf heritage or wonder what ubf Koreans are doing, study this website.

“During the last half-century UBF has built its own heritage. It is well summarized by our mottoes – known as Samuel Lee’s Spiritual Legacy. For example, writing and sharing testimony have been unique to our church, since no other churches practice it as much as we do. When Samuel Lee ministered students, he helped them to write what they have learned from the Bible and his manuscripts on the Bible, and share it with others. It took time for them to pray, meditate and write testimonies, but they grew spiritually through writing and sharing testimonies. Many of us not only have witnessed its power, but also practiced it”

Good intentions?

“As time passes, we face new challenges in passing our heritage to next generation. For example, some do not view the testimony as effective and useful as before. What is worse, some view it as a means to oppress their life and suppress their critical and creative thoughts. It is quite the opposite to its original intention – to nurture their spiritual life, shape their thought world godly, and lead them to enjoy true freedom in Christ. In resolving unwanted conflicts, some prefer to use the word “reflection” to restore the original purpose and spur its practice. So it is worthwhile to have open discussion on its purpose and method.”

Fresh thought and critical review?

“We have accumulated wonderful heritage. But making it useful and effective in our ministry requires sometimes fresh thought and critical review. We would like to collect materials related our heritage and share them through our web site so that they are useful in guarding our heritage.”

Here is my critical review… I will explain more in my second book, but this shepherding ideology is dangerous and harmful. My further thoughts on the ubf heritage are on my personal blog.

My heritage summary:

Matthew’s Purpose

This book was written to directly address one question: How does the bible applly to same-sex relationships? The book is dedicated to “To all those who have suffered in silence for so long.” The premise is clear from the first chapter: The bible cannot be set aside in the discussion about same-sex relationships, based on John 10:35.

Matthew’s Case

With brilliant calmness, Matthew synthesizes every debate, discussion and argument I’ve heard in regard to LGBT people. Matthew exposes and examines arguments from both sides, and shows how some of the arguments from each side fall short of the biblical mandate. Here is an overview of the case he makes.

Good fruit/bad fruit

The foundational argument made in this book is a sort of end-game. What is the fruit of how LGBT people have been treated? Is such fruit good or bad?

“First is the harmful impact on gay Christians. Based on Jesus’s teaching that good trees bear good fruit, we need to take a new look at the traditional interpretation of biblical passages that refer to same-sex behavior.” Loc. 998-1004

Historical Examples

Next Matthew takes us on a journey of some examples from history where long-standing, multi-century teachings of the Christian church have been wrong, and re-adjusted based on new discoveries. Matthew shows how each time, the authority of Scripture was not compromised by the new scientific discoveries, but rather, enhanced. Matthew cites recent history too, such as the 2013 closure and apology of the ex-gay ministry, Exodus International.

Celibacy as a gift

One of the contradictions expressed by the church has been to re-define celibacy from being a gift for some to a mandatory lifestyle choice for many in their attempt to “save marriage”. Matthew expounds on the gift of celibacy amazingly well, and shows proper, but not undue, respect for the gift of celibacy.

The traditional clobber verses

About half of the book is devoted to painstakingly examining the passages of Genesis 19, Leviticus, Romans 1 and 1 Corinthians 1. Matthew does this with many questions, references to multiple interpretations and excellent logic– all without coming across as a bully. Nowhere does Matthew forcefully exhort the reader to adopt his logic. Instead, Matthew gently and methodically presents his case, inviting the reader to journey along side him.

“Of the thirteen references to Sodom in the Old Testament following Genesis 19, Ezekiel 16:49–50 offers the most detailed description of the city’s sins. In that passage, God stated, “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore, I did away with them as you have seen.” Sexuality goes unmentioned, both in the Ezekiel passage and in every other Old Testament reference to Sodom following Genesis 19. If Sodom’s sin had indeed been same-sex behavior, it’s highly unlikely that every written discussion of the city for centuries following its destruction would fail to mention that.” Loc. 1188-90

Matthew makes a real attempt to move the gay-Christian debate beyond the typical conundrum.

“Sad to say, though, that’s been the extent of many debates about the Bible and homosexuality in recent years. One side starts by quoting Leviticus 18:22 (or 20:13, which prescribes the death penalty for males who engage in same-sex relations), and the other side counters with verses about dietary laws and bans on certain combinations of clothing. We really do need to go deeper.” Loc. 1194-97

Brilliant Gospel Exposition

As with any book, I care deeply about how the gospel is presented. Matthew’s book shines brightly with the explicit gospel messages and was a joy to read.

“First, I’d like us to consider the reason why Christians don’t follow all the laws we see in the Old Testament, from its restrictions on food to its rules about clothing—and many more, including the death sentence for rebellious children. And then I’d like to look at the Old Testament prohibitions of male same-sex intercourse, as we seek to discern whether and why Christians should follow them today.” Loc. 1210-16

“Our freedom from the law, I should be clear, is about much more than one decision made by one church council nearly two thousand years ago. It is rooted in the saving, reconciling work of Jesus Christ. The New Testament teaches that Christ fulfilled the law. Colossians 2:13–14 says that God “forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.” Christ’s death made it possible for us to be permanently reconciled to God. Before then, only temporary atonement was possible through the sacrifices of the Jewish priests. But as Hebrews 8:6 explains, “The ministry Jesus has received is as superior to theirs as the covenant of which he is mediator is superior to the old one, since the new covenant is established on better promises.” Loc. 1231-34

“I am far from the only gay Christian who has heard the claim that gay people will not inherit the kingdom of God. That message is plastered on protest signs at gay-pride parades. It’s shouted by roaming street preachers at busy intersections and on college campuses. The result is that, for many lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people, all they’ve heard about the kingdom of God is that they won’t be in it.” Loc. 1955-58

Same-sex Marriage

Matthew concludes with a humble examination of marriage. He admits that since he is single and young, he has little to offer and cannot teach about marriage. But he shares some incredible insight nonetheless. Matthew continues to ask profoundly good questions, as he does throughout the book.

“Granted, the Bible’s silence on committed same-sex relationships doesn’t necessarily mean those relationships are blessed. Even if you agree with my analysis so far, you may still wonder: Can loving, committed same-sex unions fulfill the Bible’s understanding of marriage?” Loc. 1982-86

“Perhaps the dominant message about marriage in modern society is that it’s primarily about being happy, being in love, and being fulfilled. Nearly everyone desires these things, of course. But what happens to the marriage bond if one spouse stops feeling fulfilled? What if one partner falls out of love, or they both do? For many in our society, the answer seems obvious: The couple should seek a divorce. Why should two people who no longer love each other stay together? But that is not the Christian message. For Christians, marriage is not just about us. It’s also about Christ. If Christ had kept open the option to leave us behind when he grew frustrated with us or felt like we were not living up to his standards, he may have abandoned us long ago. But the story of the gospel is that, although we don’t deserve it, God lavishes his sacrificial love upon us anyway.” Loc. 2132-38

Conclusion: Hope and joy

This book left me with tremendous hope and joy, and also with a somber and deep commitment to be a straight, Christian ally to all LGBT people. The three concluding personal narratives are beyond amazing and simply must be read for yourself. I conclude with one of Matthew’s concluding statements.

“Tragically, I hear from many lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Christians whose churches also are convinced that they cannot take an affirming approach to same-sex relationships while remaining faithful to Scripture. I wrote this book to show that there is a third way. The message of Scripture for gay Christians is not what non-affirming Christians assume it to be.” Loc. 2415

Celibacy as the only answer

Wesley begins his book by sharing various viewpoints regarding same-sex attractions. He present the idea that LGBT people who are not Christians can choose for themselves how to express their non-hetereosexual natures. He insists that his choice is to accept what he calls the Christian teaching that celibacy is the only answer for a homosexual person. He does all this cautiously, trying not to be offensive and trying to allow room for other people to make their own choices.

At times we are left to wonder however, just what Wesley believes. He is not persuaded by the traditional bible interpretations and church teachings. For example:

“At times, though, for me and many others, the weight of the biblical witness and the church’s traditional teaching against homosexual practice can seem rather unpersuasive. The list of Bible passages and the statements from the Vatican and other church leaders just don’t seem compelling enough to keep gay and lesbian people from looking for sexual fulfillment in homosexual relationships. In fact, not only are they not compelling; these biblical texts and Christian pronouncements appear out-dated, perhaps slightly cruel, and, in any case, not really workable or attainable.”  Page 56

Wesley’s premise is clear though:

“At the end of the day, the only “answer” I have to offer to the question of how to live well before God and with others as a homosexual Christian is the life I am trying to live by the power of the gospel.” Page 26

“For reasons I described in chapter 1, I do not think the option of same-sex, erotically expressive partnerships is open to the homosexual person who wants to remain faithful to the gospel. Which leaves the gay or lesbian Christian with few options, it seems.”  Page 108

Glimpses of the Hamster wheel gospel

As with any Christian book, I am highly sensitive to what kind of  gospel message is being taught. I was rather disheartened to hear the oft-repeated message that we Christians have to focus our energy on cleaning ourselves up. I call this the “hamster wheel gospel” because this belief makes you run in circles, entrapping you in a vicious cycle. This gospel attaches the concept of repentance to sin and views forgiveness as a constant struggle and search. Wesley writes:

“If we have failed in the past, we can receive grace—a clean slate, a fresh start. If we fail today or tomorrow in our struggle to be faithful to God’s commands, that, too, may be forgiven.”

Dark themes

This book was rather difficult for me to read. I felt depressed as I listened to the endless struggle, as if I was drowning and could not breathe. Wesley seemed to return to the “kamikaze” type thinking throughout the book:

“While taking a German class in college, I learned that in some old Teutonic and Scandinavian religions and mythologies there is an ideal of the “fated warrior.” This is the champion who heads into battle fully aware that doom awaits him at the end. “Defeat rather than victory is the mark of the true hero; the warrior goes out to meet his inevitable fate with open eyes.”  Page 71

“And yet we ache. The desire of God is sufficient to heal the ache, but still we pine, and wonder.”  Page 118

The other dark theme is what Wesley calls “a profound theology of brokenness”. I remember adopting this theology many years ago. But that theology proved to be only a transition into a wonderful new life when my theology of brokenness turned into the theology of transformation. As a young man in his 20’s, Wesley seems to be weaving a cocoon of brokenness around himself. I hope his journey continues and he emerges with the new life of a butterfly.

It is clear from reading this book that Wesley may have the gift of celibacy. But he presents celibacy sometimes as a gift and other times as a ball and chain. I appreciated listening in on his holy struggle.

Many quotes and poetry

Wesley shares many quotes from many people. He especially focuses on Henri Nouwen.

“For several years, all I knew about Nouwen was what I had read in these two books, The Return of the Prodigal Son and Adam: God’s Beloved. Then one afternoon, I was in the library at Luther Seminary in St. Paul and noticed a new biography of Nouwen. I picked it up and started to read, still standing in the lobby near the “new arrivals” shelf. I remember vividly the shock and ache I felt in my stomach, as if from acrophobia or a sudden lurch, when I discovered that Henri Nouwen had been a celibate homosexual and, as a result, had wrestled intensely with loneliness, persistent cravings for affection and attention, immobilizing fears of rejection, and a restless desire to find a home where he could feel safe and cared for.”  Page 88

Desire for companionship

In the end, Wesley asks the right questions and gives the reader a taste of what it must be like to live the LGBT experience.

“All our lives we’re searching for someone who will take us seriously. That’s what it means to be human,” a friend of mine once mused. Whether heterosexual or homosexual, people are wired, it seems, to pursue relationships of love and commitment. Maybe it’s possible to be more specific: it seems that we long for the experience of mutual desire. We’re on a quest to find a relationship in which we can want someone wholeheartedly and be wanted with the same intensity, in which there is a contrapuntal enhancement of desire.”  Page 101

“Is there any legitimate way for homosexual Christians to fulfill their longing—a longing they share with virtually every other human person, both heterosexual and homosexual—the longing to be desired, to find themselves desirable, and to desire in return?”   Page 101

• What are your thoughts, reactions, comments, questions, ideas about this book?
• Have you read Henri Nouwen? What do you think of the discovery that he was gay?
• How have you reacted to anyone around you who is homosexual?
• How will you reach out and be a friend to the marginalized people in your UBF chapter?

Stats

We have had over 12,000 comments from 319 people in 4 years, stemming from over 400 articles. Comments have come from both former and current ubf people, and from dozens of countries around the world.

…And no Ben you don’t get credit for being #1 this time :)

Here is the break down of the top 10 commenters.

If anyone would like to see other stats, please make a request and I’ll post more.

Here is  a list of ubfriends contributors of articles. Are all of these people former ubf people? Are they just spreading rumors? This time you get the #1 spot Ben as the most prolific author here!

No more guilt

I remember so many Easter “celebrations” that felt like a criminal trial. The word guilt means “the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty”. Easter was typically a dreadful reminder that I had done something wrong, like killing Jesus. But not this year. I feel no guilt for doing such a thing. Jesus gave himself to death. It was not to layer humanity with guilt but to set us free from guilt. Easter should be a time of liberation from guilt, not bondage to it. If we feel guilty after this Easter weekend, then we’ve not heard the gospel Jesus preached.

No more exasperation

OMG! We’re late for a ubf meeting! So much tension, so much high-blood pressure trying to get something done for a ubf conference. Exasperation. That’s the word that best described many of my Easter times in ubf. The word means “excite the anger of, to cause irritation or annoyance to”. It’s been over 4 years since I participated in a ubf conference. I’m starting to forget all the no-sleep nights and hard work to “prepare blessings”. But no more. This year was a peaceful Easter, a wonderful conclusion of Lent. I feel happy. I feel connected to the entire Christ-following family around the world. If we are exasperated after this Easter, then we are in need of taking the time to examine Jesus’ gospel more closely.

No more shame

Shame is a “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety”. It is the feeling invoked by guilt. South Korean’s are steeped in a shame/honor society. So it’s no wonder my 24 years of ubf life instilled a deep sense of shame in me. Recently the NY Times reported this: “South Korea has had the highest suicide rate in the industrialized world for eight consecutive years” (source) Such massive shame has been like a syrupy layer of burden over my life in the past. But no more! Finally I enjoyed an Easter with no shame. If a lingering shame stays with you after this Easter, then you’ve heard a flawed gospel message that contradicts the message Jesus preached.

The cross is liberation from guilt, exasperation and shame!

So as ubf chapters attempt to celebrate Easter around the world, let’s all remember the gospel message of the glory of Jesus which removes our shame and the gospel message of the peace of God which removes our guilt. Don’t let your ubf shepherds drive a wedge of guilt, exasperation or shame into your soul. Easter is a time of liberation.

Holy Saturday is often overlooked. It is a day of stillness, of silence, of sadness mixed with joyful expectation and hope. What would happen, now that Jesus has died yesterday? That thought must have sunk into the hearts and minds of all Jesus’ followers that first Holy Saturday. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, so in silence we wait.

James Hanvey, the Lo Schiavo Chair in Catholic Social Thought at the University of San Francisco, writes: “Holy Saturday is his time. It is the time when we learn to trust his sacrifice of love which death can neither subjugate nor comprehend. In Holy Saturday we begin to see that it is he who has made death his instrument; not to terrorise us into submission, but to call us more intimately to his side. In the purifying darkness of Holy Saturday we discover the Sabbath of our waiting. We come to the end of our way and the beginning of his. It is only Christ who can carry us over into Easter morning, and so it is with all the Holy Saturdays of our life.”

Reasons why I observed Lent in 2014

1. To renew my identity as a Roman Catholic

I am Catholic. My roots are deeply Catholic in my family. It was rather naiive of me to abandon such good roots in my college days. So my Lenten journey was first of all my attempt to “be Catholic”. I observed the traditional Catholic Lent, from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday, but in an non-traditional manner. As time goes on I will pursue other means of dusting off my Catholic faith and actions.

2. To accept my own challenge

A few years ago, I issued a challenge to all ubf leaders. I called it My challenge. I asked any ubf person to abstain from ubf activities for 30 days and see what would happen. I asked “Could you live one month with no UBF activity?” I decided to take my own medicine and live over 40 days during Lent without ubfriends activity. I found it amazingly healthy and helpful to do such a thing.

What I experienced during Lent in 2014

1. It is possible for me to be a priest

One of the surprises was to talk with Anthony Gittins, author of Reading the Clouds: Mission Spirituality for New Times at an ACT3 cohort class in Chicago. I asked him if it is possible for a married man to enter the priesthood. He said yes, it is entirely possible to do so. I have no plans to do this, but this news melted away the last barrier for me to “come home” to the Catholic Church.

2. I have moved on from ubf but will remain in conversation

I expected that not blogging about ubf would be difficult. But I found it to be easy–too easy in fact. I found that I could easily walk away from ubf and cut ubf people out of my life forever. What was difficult was not interacting with all of you– my virtual friends here in this community, including all you silent readers :) I realized more than ever that I need to keep blogging about ubf and my family’s experiences there. I received some anonymous feedback during Lent, from a Korean woman missionary and a Korean man missionary currently working in two different ubf chapters. One told me that they are glad “I keep ubf honest”. The other thanked me for my new book and told me they remember me only with grace and good thoughts. For their sake and the sake of all ubf members, I will continue my blogging and my book writing. Even though it is easy for me to just forget about all things ubf, I will remain in the conversation.

3. I wrote and published a book!

One of my joys is to write. So instead of blogging, I pulled together my thoughts and notes from the past three years and published a book. I found that it feels really good to be a published author! My book is called “Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives“.

In this book I tell my life story for the first time from my authentic self perspective. It was so liberating! I realized that one reason I become so obsessively devoted to ubf is that I was doing penance for my father’s untimely death due to ALS. I had prayed “10 thousand times prayers” (to use ubf language) and still my father died. So I blamed myself, and threw myself into ubf activities to try and make up for my failure. Writing “Rest Unleashed” helped me to not only see the absurdity of this, but to be free from such thought patterns. I dedicated my first book to my father in his memory.

My second book is entitled: “Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives” and will focus on the patterns and principles that helped me undo the ubf ideology and connect with goodness.

You can read more about each book on my other blog site:

Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives

Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives

So I’m glad to be back and look forward to catching up on all the articles and comments from the past 40+ days!

Reason #1 – I was trained by a Korean bible cult

I hate saying this, but it is true. Whatever good things are happening in ubf today, I am not part of such things. I was trained by ubf leaders to believe a Christianized version of Confucianism, and to formulate a belief system based on the 12 point ubf heritage. That is simply not orthodox Christianity. Often I find I am reacting against the ubf heritage instead of discovering Christianity. So I now face the fact that I am not trained in orthodox Christianity.

Reason #2 – I live among American Christians

As I explore American Christianity in its current divided state, I find that I am glad I did not learn American Christianity as espoused by Evangelicals and Fundamentalists in the Protestant world. I find that after leaving ubf behind, I am highly grateful for my Roman Catholic roots. I find these Catholic roots and the current Pope Francis to be my connection to orthodox Christianity. I cannot see Christ in most of the Christian writing and teaching currently in America. Instead, I see bigotry, hatred, division, strife, anger and injustice, toward women, toward gays, toward Democrats, toward liberals and toward just about anything that I might call “my values”.

Reason #3 – The term Christian is just a label

It is sobering to realize that Peter and the others were not Christians. Well at least for most of their life and for many years while they followed Jesus. The disciples of Jesus were just fine without the label of “Christian”. It was in Antioch that the label of “Christian” was applied, as in Acts 11:25-27. And why did other people start calling followers of Jesus as Christians? Because they saw the forgiveness toward the apostle Paul, a man who once tried to kill Christ-followers. Instead of hating the one they didn’t understand, the followers of Jesus made the man a teacher! Such love and forgiveness is Christ-like. I don’t see such a thing in me nor in most who claim the label Christian. Who am I to claim to be Christ-like?

I am a disciple of Jesus, following Jesus

So for now I am a disciple of Jesus. I join with the worldwide church of people who confess that they too follow Jesus. Matthew 16:13-20 is the famous “you are the Christ” passage. But what does that passage end with? That passage ends with a stern warning from Jesus. Jesus strictly charged the disciples to tell no one that he was the Christ. Is this just a warning for that specific context? Or was Jesus teaching us all something deeper here? I see something deeper. And so this is my attitude right now. I tell no one that I am a Christian.

Instead, I am focusing on learning how to listen to Jesus’ voice through the Holy Spirit, depending on the Holy Father to navigate the Holy Scriptures. For now, Christ who lives in me has called me to go ouside the gates as in Hebrews 13:10-13, to go outside the camp to bear the reproach Jesus himself endured. I will stand with my gay brothers and sisters. I will stand up for justice. I will befriend anyone and engage in dialogue with unconditional love, even anyone in ubf and anyone among the Christendom world, as much as they are willing to talk to me without the label of Christian. And above all else, I will continue to learn how to be a husband and father, making up for lost time.

John Armstrong’s Article

In 2007, our friend John Armstrong wrote a series of blog articles about his interactions with ubf. I find it sobering, helpful and intriguing to look back on my comments and other’s comments in 2007. Here are my thoughts today.

John’s good advice

John gave us all wise words to consider back then. I find these thoughts to be quite sobering and true.

“If you are not extremely careful you will project your response toward UBF on to everything that you now think and do as a Christian, responding as if UBF is the whole story of your life.”

“Remember the examples of those who have learned to pray for their enemies as our Lord taught them and us. And recall that even he urges us to do good to those who have done evil to us.”

“This is a primary issue that counselors face every day with adult children who were abused by their parents. The child, who is now an adult, must finally come to grasp a simple fact—¬they may never be completely restored in a healthy way to their abusive parent(s). The child will eventually have to learn to let this go, step by painful step. And the child will also need to forgive the parent without agreeing with everything the parent says or does. Many parents will even deny that they ever did anything wrong at all in such circumstances. Christ wants to heal these types of pains in all of us but we must invite him to do so and pursue him for it in good faith.”

Former member’s comments

The comments by former ubf members back in 2007 were just too much for my small mind to process at the time. I had just finished 2 years of intense ubf defending (2004 and 2005) and thought all the former member stuff was over with. I was wrong. In fact, it was these very kinds of discussions that helped open my eyes to see that former ubf members were not so “evil” or “poisonous” but displayed love and serious concerns.

These comments were very helpful for me:

“Brain, again I recommend that when someone is communicating something regarding UBF, do not reframe it to fit your perspective. Do you think you are the Tom Cruise of UBF? You need to come off your UBF highhorse and stop trying to silence the incredibly apparent dark side of UBF. This is disrespectful, insincere and intellectually irresponsible. This is the same thing your late leader, Daniel Hong did and it is a bad attribute you picked up from him. I don’t need my words respun by you like you are superior to me. You have no idea what I have done since I left UBF so you need to stop trying to infer that we are not doing the work of God.”

“I have also seen UBF Bible students (some of them my friends) suddenly become fearful and suspicious and break-off their relationships with their UBF shepherds. Yes, some began behaving like enemies instead of friends, almost overnight. I know of many who even packed their belongings in secret and left their UBF housing secretly, were never heard from again, were hardly mentioned again except to say that they had “run away” from UBF (UBF leaders’ words, not mine). Why did they “run away?” Because of what they had “seen with their own eyes or experienced themselves” after years of a relationship with UBF. The breaking point was (and still is) often the surprise introduction of a “marriage partner” and the corresponding pressure to get married to this stranger.

And this was long before the Web, email or even fax machines.
The web sites that so trouble UBF leaders have been around only since 2001 and probably weren’t even on the usual Web search engines’ radars until 2002-2003. One might also ask why these UBF recruits are googling for “university bible fellowship a cult?” in the first place.”

My comments

Some of my comments, as I look back, were stupid. I was just plain wrong. One comment however that I totally agree with 100% today just as much as when I wrote it in 2007 is this:

“JCO, you make a good point. As Dr.Armstrong pointed out, love must prevail. Attitudes toward UBF will never unite anyone.

I do see the love of God here in some ways. I see the love of God in Dr.Armstrong’s allowing these conversations to take place on his blog, and by his wise and Godly words. I see the love of God in ChrisZ, JimSL, ExUBF and AndrewP who must care a lot to post such zealous words. I see the love of God in BenToh, JoeS and others from UBF who showed thankful minds and tremendous restraint in not replying with anger or bitterness.

So perhaps we can agree to be united in the love of Christ. In the end, Christ’s love is the one common denominator of Christianity.”

My identity was changing

I can clearly see my cult identity falling away and changing in some of my comments:

“My point of emphasis, and the reason I brought it up in the comment above, is that I strongly believe the Bible should be the center of my faith. I don’t think Luther’s words (or Dr.Samuel Lee’s words for that matter) should be the *center* of my faith. Certainly they are worthwhile for learning and maturity.

I welcome your attitude of love for us “evil, power-mongering, pyramid-scheming, abortionist, divorce-ridden good for nothing, going to hell” UBF members. (I don’t mean to dismiss criticims of UBF here, but at some point I can only laugh and cry at certain attitudes expressed on various comments here. At least I can take comfort in being upgraded from the “Bagdad Bob” of UBF to the “Tom Cruise” of UBF!)”

“When will it end? We in UBF already hear your points. We already are learning, growing and changing. What more do you want?”

My stupid comments

Some of my thoughts were just strange, shallow and borderline idiotic:

“Jim, you crossed the line here. So I will speak up. I respond to your writing below.”

“Another central problem to UBF is the financial unaccountibility.”
>>> Jim, you are on shaky ground here. Do you realize our books have been audited and approved? I don’t know about the Chicago chapter, but the Toledo chapter always gives offering reports and they match exactly to the penny. Please refrain from making generalizations about all of UBF when you only know part of the issue.

“>>> Jim, you are welcome to your opinion. You say UBF is evil. I wholeheartedly disagree with you.”

“As Amy mentioned, we need to consider “the whole counsel of God”.
When I see Matthew 18, the whole chapter, I see the following points:
1) I must learn the attitude of a child.
2) I must learn the attitude of a shepherd searching for lost sheep.
3) I must confront a fellow believer who sins against me.
4) I must not be an unmerciful servant.
What do you think?”

Thoughts about Change

We all are changing. I’ve found the following quotes about change to be helpful on my journey of change:

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” (Leo Tolstoy)

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”
(Lemony Snicket, Horseradish)

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” (Mahatma Gandhi)

Why am I dead to UBF?

One of the first experiences a former member of ubf has is the feeling of being divorced from people in ubf. Friendships we thought we had and relationships we thought were so strong suddenly disappear. Overnight. People who we called our spiritual mothers and fathers and people who we called brothers and sisters suddenly go silent towards us. We become dead to them.

But why? Why does this happen almost universally to former ubf members?

The answer is obvious: former members allow their ubf-given identity to die. For example, “Shepherd Brian” is indeed dead. That identity does not exist and never will exist. The person named Brian however is alive and well. But ubf people find it impossible to address “Brian”. They only know how to interact with “Shepherd Brian”.

Why do I use the cult label?

As I have said repeatedly, my experiences in ubf were mostly good. I enjoyed the love-bombing and created a relatively safe place for my family by disobeying certain orders (like the demand to sleep in the center for months right after marriage). Some may point to an inter-personal conflict with my Korean shepherd. But that is not a true assessment. I showed my Korean shepherd double honor for over two decades. I brought nothing but joy to the leaders in ubf. It is true our relationship was broken near the end of my ubf commitment. Breaking this relationship felt like a divorce.

But why? Why do I claim University Bible Fellowship is a cult?

The answer is because ubf shepherds and missionaries are identity snatchers. They spiritually abused me and thousands others by stealing our identity and persuading us to adopt their identity. That identity was called “Shepherd Brian”. But that is not who I am. That was never who I was. That is not my authentic self. The main reason I am on a recovery from my commitment to University Bible Fellowship is because I am searching to re-connect with my authentic self, my pre-cult self, the self that my family knows.

The cognitive dissonance I used to sustain this false identity requires triggers to uphold that identity, and requires a lot of energy to maintain. That energy needed to be released. The sub-identities I adopted like a facade around my soul needed to crumble.  That is why I experienced a physical trauma trigger when I happened to meet some ubf people who wanted to take a group photo last year. My body literally began to shake and I had to run out of the building without saying good bye. I drove to a highway rest stop and just sat there for 15 minutes until the shakes left me and my heart stopped racing. Steve Hassan describes this phenomena in his book. It happened because I had been conditioned through ubf heritage indoctrination to adopt a false identity, and the group photo with ubfers triggered that memory of my cult-identity.

So yes, “Shepherd Brian” is dead. You won’t be able to talk to him. And that explains so very much of what happened to me and what continues to happen to me.

Overview of the book’s content

This book reads quickly and does not go into depth in regard to analyzing various conditions or behaviors. Instead, the book is more of a how-to manual for people not in a controlling group. The book gives much advice on how to interact, communicate and intervene with someone who is committed to a controlling group. The book contains many invaluable lists and references to the work of Lifton and Singer, as ways to discern whether someone is in a harmful controlling group.

Steve shares from his own experience of joining the Moon Unification organization as a 19 year old and then later exiting from that group. Steve also shares stories from his wealth of exit counseling, giving readers a glimpse into real situations. Steve doesn’t pull any punches in this book and gets right in to teaching you how to get someone to leave a cult group. Steve improves on his prior methods and revamps his approach, noting the epic failures of the deprogramming methods of the 1970’s and 1980’s in America.

Steve dispells any notion that cults target weakminded people, and shares much advice using this premise:

“Many people have a hard time believing that bright, talented people–often educated, and from good homes–could fall under the control of a cult. They fail to realize that cults intentionally recruit smart people who will work tirelessly for the cause. Many of the former cult members I have met are exceptionally bright and well educated. They have active imaginations and creative minds. They have a capacity to focus their attention and concentrate. Most are idealistic and socially conscious. They want to make a positive contribution to the world.”- Highlight on Page 74 | Loc. 1906-10

Basic beliefs

Steve shares some basic beliefs that should resonate with anyone, and form the basis of his strategic approach to cults and controlling groups.

1. The human spirit cannot be changed or destroyed fully.

“Relationships in cults tend to be conditional, based on obedience and subservience. However, once the member passes the honeymoon phase and their servitude becomes evident even to themselves, friends and family have the potential for an ever-increasing positive influence. Time is on their side because destructive influence is never 100 percent.” – Highlight on Page 3 | Loc. 458-59

2. Noble promises and claims cannot be delivered.

“The human spirit needs to be free, and ultimately, cults do not deliver what they promise.” – Highlight on Page 3 | Loc. 458-59

“They claimed to be a community of young people struggling to overcome cultural barriers. This type of recruiting is insidious because members often speak and act with the greatest sincerity, having been subjected to the same techniques they use to recruit others.” – Highlight on Page 13 | Loc. 701-5

3. Real, unconditional love is stronger than conditional love.

“Real love is stronger than conditional love The fact that you are willing to help and are seeking professional advice means there is reason to hope The member will realize that your love is unconditional, while the cult’s ‘love’ depends on their meeting expectations and goals.” – Highlight on Page 13 | Loc. 706-8

4. Mind control is a real, discernable phenomena and not magical

“Social psychologist Robert Cialdini, in his groundbreaking book, Influence [15] , extracted six universal principles of influence—those that are so powerful that they generate desirable change in the widest range of circumstances.” – Highlight on Page 20 | Loc. 831-32

Origination of the term “brainwashing”

I was fascinated to read about Steve’s discovery that the Moonies used the same tactics Korean war generals used on prisoners of war.

“The term brainwashing was coined in 1951 by journalist Edward Hunter from the Chinese hsi nao (wash brain), to describe the process by which Americans captured in the Korean War could reverse their allegiance and confess to fictional war crimes. In the 1950s, military psychologists and psychiatrists Margaret Singer, Robert Jay Lifton, Louis West and Edgar Schein began to research a phenomenon they called thought reform, in order to devise ways to protect soldiers in the future.” – Highlight on Page 22 | Loc. 858-63

Methods of control

Steve describes in some detail what methods cults use to control. The book shares many details about Steve’s B.I.T.E. model, and how he developed the model.

“A group that changes names, insists on a dress code, lives on an isolated compound, and cuts off all contact with outsiders is likely to be very dangerous.” – Highlight on Page 33 | Loc. 1059-62

“Cults manipulate the elements that form an individual’s identity including beliefs, values, and relationships. From a mental-health perspective, the cult diverts elements of an individual’s psyche into another personality. The cult member comes to exhibit symptoms of dissociative disorder as defined in the DSMIV, the diagnostic manual for the American Psychiatric Association.”- Highlight on Page 34 | Loc. 1070-72

“A common method for shaping a cult identity is to pair a new member with an older member. The spiritual child is instructed to imitate the spiritual parent in every way.” – Highlight on Page 34 | Loc. 1075-85

Rebirthing your identity

One of the striking thoughts that hit home with me was Steve’s descriptions of breaking and re-freezing your self identity. He describes the common cult process of birthing a new identity, different from your authenctic self.

“After I left the Moonies, I found Edgar Schein’s book, Coercive Persuasion, where he described the process using Kurt Lewin’s model of thought reform: [28] · Unfreezing: breaking a person down · Changing: indoctrination · Refreezing: reinforcing the new identity.” – Highlight on Page 36 | Loc. 1111-12

Yeakley study on identity change

An amazing study that I want to read more about is a social experiment by Dr. Flavil Yeakley, regarding how people’s identities can be temporarily modified through indoctrination.

“This aspect of indoctrination was demonstrated by Dr. Flavil Yeakley, a respected psychologist and member of the mainline Church of Christ, who administered the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Inventory Test to 800 members of The Boston Church of Christ, a cult group led by Kip McKean.”

“When Yeakley correlated the data, he found that members varied widely in their personality types before they joined the group. (In statistical terms, they exhibited a normal distribution of personality types.) In the second test, members were moving towards one personality type, which matched the projected personality of the cult leader.”

“The third test showed an almost universal move toward the projected leader’s personality type.”

“As a comparison, Yeakley administered the test to members of Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist and Presbyterian churches and mainline Churches of Christ. There was no personality change before, during, or after they joined their churches. Yeakley published the results of this study in his book, The Discipling Dilemma.”

“Although a healthy individual will grow and mature over time, his basic personality doesn’t change. Changes in personality type may indicate unhealthy social pressure. The results of Yeakley’s study shows that cults create this kind of pressure. It also verified for me the existence of a cult identity that binds the authentic self like a straitjacket.” – Highlight on Page 37 | Loc. 1137-39

Phobia triggers

Steve goes into significant detail explaining how phobias are used by cults to keep members “in” the group. Cult leaders will spin tales of tragedy and woe for people who leave or even think of leaving. He describes a common theme among the cults groups he has encountered– the groups use fear to “re-age” a person back to a child, before they developed critical thinking abilities. He describes how all kinds of fears, especially a person’s natural fears from his/her pre-cult life, are used as bonding agents.

Steve claims that it is these phobia triggers and not any kind of doctrine, that keep members enslaved. Steve notes that many cult members disagree with their group’s doctrine, having discovered early on after the “honeymoon”, that the cult group’s teachings are flawed. Yet they don’t leave due to fears, most or all of which are unfounded.

“A phobia is a persistent, irrational fear. All phobias are triggered by a cue that initiates a closed cycle of fearful images, thoughts, and feelings. The cue can be an internal or external stimulus, such as a thought, image, word, smell, taste, feeling, or behavior. This stimulus causes the phobic individual to generate negative images, often subconsciously, and sometimes to imagine impending doom. During a phobic reaction, the body’s automatic physiological ( fight-or-flight) survival response is activated. This panic response causes a number of physiological symptoms, including a racing heart, shortness of breath, dry mouth, cold hands and sometimes nausea. The most common coping mechanism is to avoid the provoking stimulus.” – Highlight on Page 151 | Loc. 3715-18

“In the Moonies, we would often be robbed of precious sleep so that we could drive to the Moon estate early in the morning. We would sing holy songs and pray for hours–individually, then in unison–before listening to a speech by Moon. That way, our minds were more spiritually open (cult lingo for receptive). In reality, we were in a trance, and certainly not thinking analytically or critically.” – Highlight on Page 156 | Loc. 3913-15

Re-discovering your “self”

The most relevant part of the book to me was Steve’s thoughts on re-discovering and connecting with my prior authentic self, the core self of my identity that remains my entire life. He describes how cult members adopt numerous “sub identities”.

“Though my idealism may have made me vulnerable to recruitment, it was that same idealism that motivated me to eventually leave the group when I realized that Moon and the leaders lied, cheated, stole, and enslaved the members.” – Highlight on Page 116 | Loc. 2905-7

“After I left the group, the sub-personalities that formed the core of my Moonie identity needed to be recognized, liberated, and integrated into my post-cult identity. I needed to find healthy alternatives for my religious/spiritual being. My warrior/soldier became engaged in combat with cult destructive influence.” – Highlight on Page 116 | Loc. 2921-23

Value of former members

Steve repeatedly mentions the value of talking about a group with former members, who have little to gain and much to be lost by speaking out.

“Talking with former cult members is one of the best ways to understand cult beliefs and destructive influence. Ex-members will often be the most reliable source of information, and may be willing to help you plan and carry out the Strategic Interaction. I suggest that you meet and interview at least a dozen former members: some from your loved one’s cult, and some from other groups. Pay special attention to those who have received counseling and have digested and integrated their cult experience. Ask them hypothetical questions: “What would happen if we took this approach?” They are a valuable resource.”- Highlight on Page 105 | Loc. 2645-48

Yet Steve is not naive and describes how cult defenders try to devalue the roles of former members.

“Cult leaders may use stories about defectors to reinforce phobias: (Do you remember Alice M? She left the group last month and we just got word that she hung herself. See what happens when you leave the protection of the Almighty?)” – Highlight on Page 156 | Loc. 3931-36

Will you read this book?

My question to our readers here is simple. Will you read this book? Perhaps your friends or family members are already reading such books?

Articulating the Post-modern Journey

This book was written in 2006, and much has come to pass in 8 short years. It is commonly said that postmodernism is over. And so if we find we are reacting to post-modernism, we are probably behind the times, even if there is no clear name for post-postmodernism. Still I found it very helpful for me understand the post-modern viewpoints, especially since I lived through it and didn’t even realize it! The value for me of Danaher’s book is that he gives me the articulation I’ve been looking for to understand what was happening (and may still be happeneing) to me in the past decade.

This quote sums up this articulation well:

“Contrary to what some have led us to believe, a postmodern world is not one in which all order, meaning, and truth is lost. Rather, all that is lost is the kind of order, meaning, and truth that modernity had insisted upon. The good news of the postmodern gospel is that, with the end of modernity, we now have an ever-greater opportunity to order our lives, not based on an understanding of some universal, objective truth, but rather on an intimate understanding of a truth that is personal—indeed, a truth that is a person (see John 14:6).”  – Highlight Loc. 141-44

Gaining Perspectives

Danaher’s book drives home what I’ve been learning in other parts of my life, that is, the necessity of gaining multiple perspectives. Danaher challenges me to see Jesus’ perspective as well as to seek out the perspectives of others I encounter in my life. For example, Jesus’ perspective was often different from that of the Jews, and so merely understanding the “original audience” may not be enough to help me understand Jesus’ perspective.

Many of Jesus’ key concepts, however, seem to have been radically different from the concepts that were common to his world. In fact, much of the conflict Jesus had with the religious leaders of his day, and what ultimately led to his death, resulted from the fact that his concepts were so radically different from those of his day.
– Highlight Loc. 160-62

Civil Reactions

Danaher gives me  many civil ways to  react to various accusations, such as the accusation that I’ve given up on truth and obedience.

“Many consider such a limited understanding of the truth as less than ideal. Indeed, many reject such a perspectival view of the truth. They claim that since there is no way to measure which perspective is correct and which wrong, all views of the truth become equally viable and a wild relativism is the result. Jesus, on the other hand, tells us that there is a criterion for truth, but it is much more subjective than many want to accept. That is, he says that we can judge a thing by its fruit.” – Highlight Loc. 501-4

“Although true for Christians of all ages, one of the great insights of postmodernism is that reality is perspectival. Ultimate reality for the Christian should never have been the kind of objective reality that the sciences of modernity sought.” – Bookmark Loc. 554

Death and Resurrection

Danaher brilliantly explains the need for a Christ-follower to understand the principles of death and resurrection. This helps me to endure many things, knowing that my ideas go through a death and resurrection process as I learn how to find my own theological stance and personal voice to express the gospel.

“Ultimately, in our faith journey, we are brought to a place of death in our soul—a place where we feel abandoned by God. It is a place where we are able to muster very little in the form of faith and all seems lost. When we come out of that death experience alive, we have a new faith and a new understanding of God. We realize that it was not the greatness of our faith that brought us through, but the greatness of God.” – Highlight Loc. 683-85

“It is only through death and resurrection that we come to know that it was not by our faith that we had come into eternal life but by the sovereign hand of God. It is only through death and resurrection that we know that nothing can separate us from the love of God—not even our own lack of faith (see Romans 8:35–39).” – Highlight Loc. 713-14

A point of Contradiction

There was only one section where I felt alienated by Danaher’s thoughts, the part toward the end where he discusses repentance. I find these thoughts to be contradictory to Danaher’s excellent thoughts earlier. This is what I mean: Danaher talks about a “constant state of repentance”. I find this to be contradictory to Danaher’s “constant state of goodness” expressed earlier.

In this paragraph (emphasis mine) Danaher rightly articulates the thought that God’s goodness is the basis of our relationship and that our relationship with God is not destroyed by the sins we commit.

“As in any relationship, it is impossible for the sinner—the one responsible for the destruction of the relationship—to force forgiveness. The sinner is helpless without the victim’s willingness to forgive. God’s desire is always for restoration, and since we are the ones who have broken the relationship through our choice of lesser gods, restoration can only come through God’s forgiveness. But as we have seen, our relationship with God is not based on the good that we do, nor is it destroyed by the sins we commit. It is based on God’s goodness and the fact that he is willing and able to forgive us for having rejected him and the life that he has for us.”
– Highlight Loc. 1252-58

But then soon after this, Danaher tells us we must remain in a “continual state of repentance.” I find that I must employ a heavy dose of cognitive dissonance in order to hold these two thoughts together.

“For God to continue his creation within us, we can never lose sight of how short we fall of the ultimate good God has for us and our continual need to stay in the process of transformation. As we have seen, to stay in that process of transformation, we need to live in an almost constant state of repentance in order to be open to God’s grace and the creation he wishes to continue in our lives. Consequently, our ultimate sin is that we separate ourselves from God and his purpose for our lives. God’s purpose is that his creation would continue in our lives and we would be made into the likeness of his Son. Our separation from that purpose is what keeps us from the abundant good God has for us, and it is this separation from which all manner of evil follows. Our real sin is our resistance to the great transformation God wants to bring about within us.”
– Bookmark Loc. 1380

Conclusion

I highly recommend Danaher’s book. It was a joy to discuss his book via phone conference during the cohort class. I simply love the philosophical musings Danaher presents. He has restored my joy of exploring Christianity from the philosophical lens. I think only time will tell just how significant this book and Danaher’s thoughts truly are. Danaher’s gift to me and to an entire generation is the gift of understanding our faith in Jesus in the midst of massive rejection and accusation.

Approach

How then do I approach this magnificent sermon? With a microscope? Such an up-close approach has been attempted by many a preacher the past 2,000 years, and has lead to much confusion and disarray. My approach to something so grand, so high and so beautiful is to step back.

I step back a little and am filled with guilt upon guilt. So I step back further. I contend that to comprehend the Sermon of Sermons, we ought to fly into space and gaze upon it! From space, there are only a few objects that are viewable on the earth. The Great Wall of China is one of them.

What do we see in the Bible from space? We see the broad message of God: faith, hope and love. We see the Great Story: Creation, Fall, Training, Redemption and Return. And we can see the Sermon of Sermons, a glorious light shining up at us.

Now let’s come back to reality, back to earth where we are. Now we gaze up at Scripture, each verse shining as stars in the sky. The Sermon is one of the brightest collections of those stars. Now we need a telescope to observe such brightness. What do we see?

Law or Grace?

The two ancient lenses with which we can interpret Scripture are law and grace. Through the lens of law we develop a mind of self-righteousness, elitism and legalism. Through the lens of grace we cultivate a mind of godliness, humility and freedom. Law is the common road that leads to shackles and finally death. Grace is the narrow road that leads to joy and finally life.

The world is filled with preachers who chose the lens of law to present the Sermon of Sermons. Such an approach snuffs out the fire of truth in Jesus’ words, sapping the very breath out of those who hear.

27 Words

When I observe the Sermon of Sermons from the lens of grace, I see 10 words in chapter five, 10 words in chapter six and 7 words in chapter seven. Twenty-seven words. I contend that if we would listen to these 27 words and let them define our life, we would find the effervescent joy, the all-surpassing power and the deep tranquility Jesus came to give.

Matthew 5: Love your neighbor (Codex 3 – Social/Civil)

1. Blessed
2. Salt
3. Light
4. Fulfillment

1. Reconciliation
2. Purity
3. Faithfulness
4. Integrity
5. Long-suffering
6. Love

Conclusion 1: Be perfect.

Matthew 6: Love God (Codex 2 – Ceremonial)

1. Generosity
2. Prayer
3. Forgiveness
4. Humility
5. Treasure
6. Discernment
7. Devotion
8. Security
9. Self-esteem
10. Contentment

Conclusion 2: Seek God. 

Matthew 7: God’s Will (Codex 1 – Moral)

1. Mercy
2. Self-examination
3. Discretion
4. Dialogue
5. Goodness
6. Grace
7. Logic

Conclusion 3: Do God’s will.

27 words that teach us about Jesus! 27 words that teach us how to live! May these words transform me by renewing my mind. Lord, help me to apply Your words with grace, courage and faith in You, the Lion of the Tribe of Judah. Forge in me the heart of a lamb and the soul of a lion.

Final conclusion: Build your life on Jesus.

Twenty seven words; twenty seven sermons! …and maybe 27 blogs :) The first four words of Jesus’ Sermon of Sermons are: blessed, salt, light and fulfillment. These four words form an introduction, and an invitation. The first word is “blessed”. Blessed! Isn’t this what we want? Do we not crave to be blessed?

Let’s read today’s text:

¹ Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him,² and he began to teach them, saying:

¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Who is blessed?

Nine times the word “blessed” appears in this text. To begin to understand their depth and earth-shattering significance, I would need nine more sermons! So what can we plainly learn from these words? First and most plainly, we can learn who is blessed. Most of us want to be blessed, but we wonder if I am such a person who could ever hope to be blessed. Perhaps God would bless others, but would God bless me?

Jesus lists nine traits found in people who are blessed. The poor in spirit, the mourners, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, those persecuted because of righteousness and those insulted because of Jesus.

Why are such people called “blessed” by Jesus? Is this not a bit strange? If you asked me to list the kinds of people who are blessed, my list would look very different from Jesus’ list. At the top of my list would be: Those whose mortgage is paid off! Now that is blessing in my natural mind! As I see my list of “the blessed” I see a pattern. My concept of blessing is all about gaining something.

What is Jesus’ concept of blessing? Jesus talks more about losing something or about inner strength of the heart. In Jesus’ mind, the blessed people are not those with outward strength or with many accomplishments. To Jesus, the blessed people are people with a lamb’s heart.

What is blessing?

As I alluded to, I tend to have an upside-down concept of blessing in my natural mind. Jesus listed a nine-fold description of the blessings received by those with a lamb heart:

1. The kingdom of heaven
2. Comfort
3. Inheritance of the earth
4. Fulfillment
5. Mercy
6. The ability to see God
7. Identity as children of God
8. The kingdom of heaven (in case you missed it the first time :)
9. Me (Jesus)

Rejoice and Be glad

How do we respond to Jesus’ opening statements about blessing? In verse 12 Jesus not only indicates what response he expects, but does so in the form of a command: “Rejoice and be glad”. Rejoice! If you want to obey something, obey that. Be glad.

Jesus did not come to bind believers to an “upgraded” law. Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11:30). Jesus came to give rest for the soul of the believer. Scripture declares that “his commands are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3-4). Do you believe that? For most of my life I tried to believe that, but in my mind I always concluded: “Easy and light? Yea right! You gotta be kiddin’ me! Christian life is anything but easy or light…”

I was a believer, but I lived my life as if I were a donkey tethered to a millstone. My only claim was “Yes I’m tied to a millstone, but it is a better millstone than what Moses gave!” I thought, “My millstone came from Jesus, and I’m going to pull it by golly!” So I ended up looking, feeling and acting like this:

Jesus’ yoke is something like Thor’s hammer. Not even the mighty Hulk could pick up Thor’s hammer. In fact, Hulk could not even move the hammer one inch! But Thor lifted it easily, and used it well! The one who tries to pick up the law with his own strength will never budge it even an inch. Cursed is anyone who relies on observing the law (Galatians 3:10). Only those who accept the grace of Jesus will find the blessing promised in the law. Only Jesus can lift the law, and he does it with ease and uses it well.

My friends, if you see the Sermon of Sermons and walk away sad or burdened with guilt or heavy laden with anxiety, you’ve not yet heard what Jesus said. If you think Jesus was merely giving you an “upgraded yoke” or a “higher morality”, you’ve missed the point. Jesus’ yoke is not a new way to be tethered to the law. Jesus’ yoke is grace. Jesus’ yoke is blessing!

Come to Me

Jesus’ blessed invitation to find rest for your soul still stands open today:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

10. All churches are bad.

9. Everyone is a sinner.

8. God bless you.

7. I’m so sorry for what happened to you.

6. You’re just bitter.

5. Why don’t you move on with your life?

4. Stop bashing UBF!

3. You are acting like Korah.

2. Would you like to study the bible?

1.

One question surfaced lately is this: What if God loves Esau?

Ever since my marriage 20 years ago, I’ve been wondering about this question. But until now I didn’t do anything about it. I just dismissed the question. But could God love Esau? Why am I any different from Esau? Does Jesus choose only “Jacob” and despise “Esau”? Does the gospel only apply to “Jacob”?

This week the question surfaced again as I read “The Household of God” by Newbiggin. He asks piercing questions about the nature of the church and the boundaries of the church. My way of stating Newbiggin’s thoughts is like this: Does the boundary of the church only extend to Jacob?

No way!

So I searched the Scriptures for what God would have to say about Esau and Jacob. And I was continually drawn to Romans 9. I know the immediate reaction to my question: No way! Romans 9:13 states: “Just as it is written: ‘Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.'” End of story. “Jacob” is God’s chosen people, Israel who became the Christians and “Esau” is everyone else who does not believe and stands condemned under the wrath of God. Others will also expound further and claim (and perhaps rightly so) that Romans 9 declares God’s sovereignty in the predestination of the elect. Much has been said about this subject.

Many have expounded on Romans 9. I am ill-equipped to discuss their writings on election. And election is not my subject today. I will only say that at this point I agree with St. Augustine: “Hence, as far as concerns us, who are not able to distinguish those who are predestinated from those who are not, we ought on this very account to will all men to be saved… It belongs to God, however, to make that rebuke useful to them whom He Himself has foreknown and predestinated to be conformed to the image of His Son” (On Rebuke & Grace, ch. 49). And I agree with Spurgeon: “All the glory to God in salvation; all the blame to men in damnation.” Jacob and Esau sermon by Spurgeon

My question again is, “What if God chose to love Esau?” Why do I ask such a question? Well it is a question asked by God through Scripture for starters. And it’s because I am drawn to the end of Romans 9, to the verses that seem to have been either overlooked or not delved into. Specifically I refer to Romans 9:22-33.

Objects of wrath and mercy

22 What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? 23 What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— 24 even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?

Clearly there are two groups of people here: objects of wrath (“Esau”) and objects of mercy (“Jacob”). Clearly Apostle Paul is making his grand point here that Gentiles (“Esau”) are also included God’s salvation along with Isreal (“Jacob”). What if God chose to bear Esau in order to show Jacob his glory?

And to make this grand point, the Apostle points us to Hosea the prophet:

25 As he says in Hosea:

“I will call them ‘my people’ who are not my people;
and I will call her ‘my loved one’ who is not my loved one,”

26 and, “In the very place where it was said to them,
‘You are not my people,’
there they will be called ‘children of the living God.’”

Does this mean that God loves Esau (those who were not God’s people)? Does this mean that Esau, along with Jacob, is now “God’s loved one”? Why or why not? Thoughts or criticisms?

Overview of BITE

The model contains four elements: Behavior control, Information control, Thought control and Emotional control. Based on his own and other’s experience with the Korean religous group called the Moon organiaztion, Hassan developed a structure to help identify excessive control over people’s lives. BITE provides a framework for distinguishing between helpful mentoring and harmful “lording over” control.

Many people think of mind control as an ambiguous, mystical process that cannot be defined in concrete terms. In reality, mind control refers to a specific set of methods and techniques, such as hypnosis or thought- stopping, that influence how a person thinks, feels, and acts. Like many bodies of knowledge, it is not inherently good or evil. If mind control techniques are used to empower an individual to have more choice, and authority for his life remains within himself, the effects can be beneficial. For example, benevolent mind control can be used to help people quit smoking without affecting any other behavior.

Reference: Steve Hassan’s BITE model

The Bible and BITE

Someone may claim that BITE control is what Jesus did to his followers, and that such control is both normal and necessary in order to obey Jesus’ command to make disciples. Rev. Robert Pardon disagrees. Below are some excerpts from his article explaining why Jesus’ methods of discipleship are very different from BITE control.

Those who seek to defend their allegiance to an aberrational Christian group will often claim that Jesus utilized “thought reform/mind control” techniques (as traditionally understood) upon His followers. What is troubling in these  assertions is that they do not arise from those who reject Christianity and the claims of Christ, but rather from those whose devotion to Christianity is often misguided, extreme or dangerous.

Jesus sought to empower His followers to be all that God intended them to be, not enslave them to a group or system. A person’s ability to make decisions is always encouraged. The issue is following Him, not some group. He also constantly admonished His disciples to “count the cost” of their discipleship to Him that they might persevere in adverse circumstances (Luke 14:28). However, He never said to his disciples, “Follow me, and together we will conquer the world.” Rather He said, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” (Matt. 4:19).

According to Scripture, Jesus never sought to promote Himself for his own glorification, but rather for His Father’s. And He always encouraged His disciples to think for themselves (Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27).

Source:  Biblical Discipleship Versus A Totalistic Environment

Some questions to consider

If you are part of a disciple-making ministry, how do you avoid BITE control? What are helpful ways of mentoring? What steps can you take to keep your personal freedom?

In his own words

I conclude with a video where Steve Hassan shares an overview of BITE in his own words.

Reference: Steve Hassan’s BITE model

Here is Dr. Singer’s list of six things other people do to gain control of your life. Regardless of any good intention, is any of this activity acceptable? Can we say that Christianity supports such things? Can any of these six conditions below be justified with “self-denial” or “taking up your cross” teachings?

During this holiday season, I find much solace in Dr. Singer’s work. My prayer is that everyone reading this may find the freedom, forgiveness, and fulfillment promised in the gospel Jesus preached. My life was not free for my entire adult formative years. May your life be free, and be free indeed by recognizing these six tactics.

Six ways to make a controlling environment

Excerpted from Cults in Our Midst, Margaret Thaler Singer, p. 64-69.

1. Keep the person unaware of what is going on and how she or he is being changed a step at a time. Potential new members are led, step by step, through a behavioral – change program without being aware of the final agenda or full content of the group. The goal may be to make them deployable agents for the leadership, to get them to buy more courses, or get them to make a deeper commitment, depending on the leader’s aim and desires.

2. Control the person’s social and/or physical environment; especially control the person’s time. Through various methods, newer members are kept busy and led to think about the group and its content during as much of their waking time as possible.

3. Systematically create a sense of powerlessness in the person. This is accomplished by getting members away from the normal social support group for a period of time and into an environment where the majority of people are already group members. The members serve as models of the attitudes and behaviors of the group and speak an in-group language.

4. Manipulate a system of rewards, punishments and experiences in such a way as to inhibit behavior that reflects the person’s former social identity. Manipulation of experiences can be accomplished through various methods of trance induction, including leaders using such techniques as paced speaking patterns, guided imagery, chanting, long prayer sessions or lectures, and lengthy meditation sessions.

5. Manipulate a system of rewards, punishments, and experiences in order to promote learning the group’s ideology or belief system and group-approved behaviors. Good behavior, demonstrating an understanding and acceptance of the group’s beliefs, and compliance are rewarded while questioning, expressing doubts or criticizing are met with disapproval, redress and possible rejection. If one expresses a question, he or she is made to feel that there is something inherently wrong with them to be questioning.

6. Put forth a closed system of logic and an authoritarian structure that permits no feedback and refuses to be modified except by leadership approval or executive order. The group has a top-down, pyramid structure. The leaders must have verbal ways of never losing.

http://www.refocus.org/uploads/3/9/3/8/3938709/singers_conditions.pdf

How can smart people avoid being controlled?

Here is my list of how to avoid giving up your life decisions.

1. Make sure you find out the entire agenda. Ask for full documentation of any group’s beliefs so that you get the whole picture and are not fooled by the “frog boiling in water” trick.

2. Keep in close contact with your family and friends. Your family (regardless of how messed up you may think they are) is your bedrock of goodness. Trust your close friends and stay in touch through social media and by any means possible.

3. Remind yourself that YOU have the power over YOUR life. Listen to Bon Jovi (It’s my life) and other good songs to inspire you to keep control over your decisions.

4. Remember that your life in the past is NOT all bad. Human beings are always a mixture of good and bad. Do NOT be fooled into dismissing a former spiritual experience. Remember the good things in your life!

5. Document your value system. Don’t let anyone tell you what to value. Find out what YOU value. Document it! Make blogs, or posters or anything to remind yourself of your values. Get a tattoo if you have to in order to remind yourself.

6. Be connected with many sources of teaching and many sources of authority. Don’t let anyone tell you the law doesn’t matter. Legal codes in society are to be respected, not dismissed as if you are above the law.

Below are some positive quotes. I think it is wise to also realize that Mandela had a “dark side” as we all do. To be human is to embrace the good and the bad, which I see Mandela did. He did not build his own fantasy, but lived in the real world.

“It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.”

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.”

“I am not the only one who did not want revenge. Almost all my colleagues in prison did not want revenge, because there is no time to do anything else except to try and save your people.” —Larry King Live, May 16, 2000

“I was called a terrorist yesterday, but when I came out of jail, many people embraced me, including my enemies, and that is what I normally tell other people who say those who are struggling for liberation in their country are terrorists. I tell them that I was also a terrorist yesterday, but, today, I am admired by the very people who said I was one.” —Larry King Live, May 16, 2000

“I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.” —Rivonia trial, 1964

“I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.”

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

“Difficulties break some men but make others. No axe is sharp enough to cut the soul of a sinner who keeps on trying, one armed with the hope that he will rise even in the end.” —From a letter to Winnie Mandela, 1975

“Man’s goodness is a flame that can be hidden but never extinguished”

(source)

We were wrong

As a few of us former members discussed this letter, we concluded the best part was the “we were wrong” part. So I’ll start with their list of 11 admissions of wrongdoing. I must caution any excitement since those who are admitting this are the American leaders. Only two Koreans were listed on the letter. We can only conclude that the other Koreans in Toledo UBF do not admit these wrongdoings. Still, here are the admissions in the letter.

A Disengenious Form Letter

The one word we came up with for this form letter is “disingenuous“, which is an adjective meaning “not truly honest or sincere; giving the false appearance of being honest or sincere”.  Why disingenuous? Well for starters, they misspelled my name. They didn’t remember our addresses. They did not take 10 seconds and sign the paper with a pen and instead just typed some names at the bottom. Some names were glaringly left out of the letter, communicating clearly that the Koreans do not agree with the letter. The timing is horrible, coming almost 3 years too late. They sent the form letters immediately after yet another leader family in Toledo UBF left for many of the same reasons shared in my “part 2” article. And most importantly, the letter was all about them and what they are doing and what they have done and how much better they are now. Hint: An apology is not about you.

And the following statements did not help matters…

“You once participated”

So we “once participated”? Yea, once upon a time and long ago (like about 3 years ago) we gave our sweat, blood and tears to live and breathe ubf ministry for over two decades. And the changes you mention? I already know about those changes. In fact, I may know more about the “change” in Toledo UBF and ubf worldwide than you do. We former members actually know a lot more information than you realize.

“Many who left did not fully share their true concerns and hurts”

Really? We did not share dozens of pages about our true concerns (which you dismissed and did not read carefully)? Do you really want me to create another blog? How many blogs will it take to express to you my true concerns and hurts?

Where is the godly sorrow?

Ok we get it. Toledo UBF is such a Christ-governed church as your letterhead says so boldly. You have so many weaknesses and failures. But you are still a blessing? You are still being used for God’s purpose? The bible clearly teaches that godly sorrow precedes repentance. I only hear flattery, condescension and patronizing.

Apology Accepted

Ok so inspite of my “trauma trigger reaction” from receiving yet another form letter from ubf (didn’t we ubfers always receive form letters every Christmas and New Year’s?), I accept your apology. Why? Because you admit for the first time that you were wrong. Any time you want to meet in person, let me know. [Scratch that. I’ve changed my mind. Just don’t contact me ever again.]

More responses….

So since posting this article I’ve gotten some more responses.

From NM:
“My initial response to the letter of apology is first, that I appreciate the list of unhealthy practices. These show that some listening is taking place. I imagine that this list was not easy to create. I really hope this acknowledgement of unhealthy practices finds its way into practice. Although I thought the list was good, the letter did not make me feel any better. I’m still working my way through that. I think that the biggest reason is two-fold. First, almost every practice on the list was brought up in meetings before the mass exodus a few years ago, but they were dismissed. I personally remember bringing up the fact that the mission statement that came out of Korea basically said that these practices would not change. I knew this would make change difficult in Toledo. Yet, my comments were quickly and summarily dismissed. Second, the letter states, “We care about, love, and appreciate each person who participated in this ministry”. It is hard not to view this as disingenuous since it is written in an unsigned form letter. They did not know people’s addresses. They spelled Brian’s name wrong. And there is the glaring omission of Joan Park’s name. After being in the ministry and being told how much I was loved and appreciated over and over, while being dismissed and marginalized, makes this seem like more of the same.

However, it is possible that I am being completely unfair. I think the letter was an honest attempt to help those still in UBF. For myself, I’m not sure anything would make me feel better about my experience and I think my experience has left me overly critical in some respects. In the end, I think that my overall response is, “How can I respond to ensure that I have no further contact”. I don’t want to re-experience all of these negative feelings. I don’t want to read impersonal form letters. I don’t want to talk to people that use impersonal, “spiritual” language. My time is much better spent with friends who can be authentic, honest, and refuse to cloak meaning in “spiritual-speak”. These are the people and the attitudes that help me grow closer to God in spite of the fact that I find most Christians to be weird and mean.

From an anonymous friend:
-Luke 18:13, UBF people are arrogant Pharisees, they are not humble tax collectors, prostitutes and public sinners.

-The summary of the committee is definately a form letter. It has not removed subsequent members who have also left. It implies that you have been engaged in active communication with Toledo people. However, as I know from your openness, they almost tell you to F*** off – because they don’t want to speak with you. Now that is not open dialogue at all.

-The list of grievances sounds like lip service and insincere acknowledgements from sources such as your blog, ufriends and any other online website where former members can outline problems in UBF.

-Where is the public apology? I can’t see it. Oh, this electronic form letter? Really?! Public apology should be held at a formal meeting in the church with all members (including non-member students) so that the sins are truly open. Moreover, I think such apology calls for a conference or retreat. If you want an apology to be sincere “UBF style” than it absolutely must take three-four days of intense reflection and repentance on what God wants and what UBF has failed to do.

-Many who left didn’t fully share their concerns? Wtf? From what I read through the Toledo stories on ubfriends members were speaking up – but silenced until the system truly failed and something had to be done.

-They are willing to hear from people expressing grievances. They are willing to listen at the discretion and in accordance with the victims demands? Really? This sounds contradictory from realities that I am naively aware of.

-Failures were done in the name of God, but it is okay because by this such people can grow spiritually. It was God’s purpose and they love the former members more and more – yeah, right!

-Remembered and cherished – Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up! Don’t come around here no more….Basically, they are love bombing you guys to be quiet.

-Closing with great affection and love – So when are you guys going for coffee? How about a sporting event or concert? Love is shallow and empty – because they would rather….go to campus.

-At least they removed the Ohashi’s from the bottom listing. Maybe above was historical accounting.

-Finally, this is unique to Toledo chapter. It is not a unified apology from Chicago or Korea. It is neither affirmed by the top leadership nor applied so. It is difficult to know the “power” of even such a gesture since it is not coming from Chicago or Korea.Have a good day. I hope my comments don’t further your bad mood, but I had to share what struck me upon re-reading it. Talk soon.

The conjunction word, “and”

Normally, conjunction words such as “and” are dismissed when counting words in the bible. But in a true count, the word “and” ranks number one as the most often used word in Scripture. A couple years ago I happened to read some articles that emphasized the importance of understanding conjunctions when studying the bible (words such as “and”, “but”, “yet”, “for”, etc.).

I’ve since learned to overcome my fear of the word “if” in the bible with the power of understanding the word “and”. I often fall in to the false dichotomy trap, where I end up thinking only in binary terms of “either/or” statements. But the word “and” comes to me like a small savior! Jesus was full of grace and truth. The word “and” resolved numerous false dichotomies for me, and released me from seeing myself and people around me with an either/or litmus test.

“Grace and…”

One demonstration of the power of the word “and” is to look and how often “and” is combined with “grace”. In the NIV84, the phrase “grace and” appears 15 times. Can we consider the grand teachings of the Holy Scriptures about supplication, truth, power, apostleship, peace, guarantee, righteousness and knowledge without grace?

grace and supplication
grace and truth
grace and power
grace and apostleship
grace and peace
grace and guarantee
grace and righteousness
grace and knowledge

Zechariah 12:10 “And I will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem a spirit of grace and supplication. They will look on me, the one they have pierced, and they will mourn for him as one mourns for an only child, and grieve bitterly for him as one grieves for a firstborn son.

John 1:14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

Acts 6:8 Now Stephen, a man full of God’s grace and power, did great wonders and miraculous signs among the people.

Romans 1:5 Through him and for his name’s sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith.

Romans 1:7 To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints: Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 4:16 Therefore, the promise comes by faith, so that it may be by grace and may be guaranteed to all Abraham’s offspring–not only to those who are of the law but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all.

Romans 5:15 But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many!

Romans 5:17 For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.

Colossians 1:2 To the holy and faithful brothers in Christ at Colosse: Grace and peace to you from God our Father.

1 Thessalonians 1:1 Paul, Silas and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace and peace to you.

Titus 1:4 To Titus, my true son in our common faith: Grace and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior.

1 Peter 1:2 who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood: Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

2 Peter 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

Revelation 1:4 John, To the seven churches in the province of Asia: Grace and peace to you from him who is, and who was, and who is to come, and from the seven spirits before his throne,

Most liked:

The most likes we got on any article was 29 likes:

http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/08/21/ubf-at-the-crossroads/

There was a tie for the most liked comment, each with 16 likes:

http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/07/29/new-life-the-growing-family/#comment-9538

http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/08/09/how-to-improve-our-ubf-messages/#comment-9719

http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/08/21/ubf-at-the-crossroads/#comment-10046

Most disliked:

The most dislikes we got on any article was 11 dislikes:

http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/08/31/wheres-the-hope/

The most dislikes we got on any comment was 9 dislikes:

http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/08/19/praise-god-who-blessed-the-2013-isbc/#comment-9999

What do these statistics mean?

What do you think this says about our community here? How could we use this feedback to faciliate more dialogue? What patterns or insights can you discern here? Any thoughts on where you would like to see the dialogues go?

A fundamental human question, “What if?”

It seems to me that my fear of “if” stems first from human origins. We human beings seem to have been born with a sense of “if”, and often we fall into fearing the question “What if?”.

There are many examples of those who have explored this word, “If”, and far too many to examine here in this short article. But one example I love is from Rudyard Kipling, one of the great masters of poetry and prose, who was born in India in 1865 and who died in 1935. Kipling wrote a poem entitled “If”.  Here is the opening stanza.

If you can keep your head when all about you  

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,  

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;  

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

Christianity’s unnecessary fear of “if”

So why did I decide to write this article? The reason is because I’ve been processing a fantastic discussion that I had in person last Monday. Someone asked, “Would a person who does not believe in the resurrection of Jesus be saved? Should we consider such a person as a Christian?”

As I pondered this question this week, I found that this question exposed a basic fear in me, a fear that has been deeply ingrained in me from birth, so it would seem. But I also discovered the bible has much to do with this fear. In the spiritual realm, the word “if” strikes fear into the hearts of many.

Here are some examples from the bible:

If you do what is right…

Genesis 4:7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

If you obey me fully…

Exodus 19:5 Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession.

If anyone does not remain in me…

John 15:6 If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

If you obey my commands…

John 15:10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.

If we do not give up…

Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

If you persevere…

1 Timothy 4:16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

If you do not repent…

Revelation 2:5 Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

My contention: Respond to “if” with love instead of fear

If you find yourself reacting to the “if” question of life or the “if” declarations in the bible, my contention is that you should respond with love and grace. See the bible “if” in light of the grace of God. Let the love of God drive out your fear. Surrender to the grace of God, for there is not a single person in all of history, apart from Christ, who can survive the fear of “if” without grace.

If you are good enough? I invite you to surrender this fear of “if” and cling to love. How much better our friendships would be when we no longer fear the “if” in other people around us, and instead react with love in spite of any “if”.

My hope and prayer is that every time you read the word “if” in the bible or begin to wonder if you measure up, you will recall the love of someone close to you. Remember the grace shown to you. And respond with the joy that comes from seeing the bible’s “if” statements with the guarantee that comes from grace and the living hope that comes from love.

Do you realize that Jesus answers every single “if” statement with a resounding YES! Yes you will persevere, yes you will repent, yes you will obey, for I have already done all this for you. And what is more, I will credit all this accomplishment to your faith, even though it is only my power that saved you. The word “if” is not be be feared, but is meant to be an open door to the gospel.

Stay tuned for my next article where I contend that the fear of “if” can be driven out with the love of “and”.

I want a church oozing with the gospel of Jesus.

So often in Christendom we get lost in the atonement aspect of the gospel. We think in narrow terms of a legal transaction. God tells us a far deeper, richer and more meaningful gospel in the pages of the bible however.

God’s measuring line is justice. I want a church that cares about justice, and justice of all kinds. I want a compassionate church full of people who feel and express those feelings.

God’s plumb line is righteousness. I want a church who is centered on Christ, on the righteousness of Christ, who alone is our Overseer, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. I want a church who is transparent enough that I see Jesus and what Jesus is doing today, and what Jesus did in the past.

I want a church who lives, breathes and sleeps the gospel messages of grace, peace, glory of Christ, life, salvation, kingdom of God, forgiveness, fulfillment, freedom and rest. God tells us that the gospel is about Jesus.  Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel… (2 Timothy 2:1-26). I want a church that has doctrines deeply rooted in telling the facts of two amazing events that make up the gospel: Jesus came to life after death and Jesus fulfilled all the prophecies in the Jewish faith about a Messiah. I want a church that understands that preaching the gospel of Jesus has more to do with the empty tomb and the prophecies than about a legal transaction.

I want a church who is all about the mission of love. To love everyone. To explore how Jesus loved so we can learn to love ourselves, our friends, our enemies, those we don’t like, those we think are crazy, those who are marginalized and anyone we come in contact with.

I want a church who believes God is one God and at the same time Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I want a church who believes with grace and acts with love. I want a church that is all about the
ministry of reconciliation, a church who loves exploring each person’s giftedness and appointing leaders who display evidence of anointing by the Holy Spirit.

I want a church who delights in humanity.

I want a church who respsects personal boundaries, who is filled with people who are not afraid to be vulnerable and at the same time provides a safe haven for those who  are not ready to be vulnerable. I want a church who is not afraid of the messy, ugly and crazy parts of humanity.

I want a church who welcomes men and women, who sees neither Jew nor Greek, neither slave nor free, neither men nor women, neither straight nor gay. I want a church who openly embraces women in leadership, LGBT people in leadership and makes room for the mentally ill, the depressed and the challenged in all kinds of ways. I want a church who welcomes the misfit, the hot mess, the cool GQ and anyone who wanders into their company.

I want a church who will stop everything if even one person needs help. I want a church who will get the best out of all of us, who won’t settle for the status quo, who will stop for anyone who can’t keep up and who will not tolerate harm to anyone in any way, whether physically, mentally, emotionally, financially or spiritually.

I want a church that welcomes both the children and the aged, the weak and the strong. I want a church who loves humans as much as God loves humans.

I want a church with courageous followers of Jesus.

I want a church with people who strive to follow Jesus and who are ok with those who have no idea what that means. I want a church full of courageous people who can be there when I’m not courageous.

I want a church who seeks the gifts of imperfection and live with courage, compassion and connection.

I want a church who is more about listening to the Holy Spirit than supervising morality, who is connected to the whole church, Catholics, Protestants, Eastern Orthodox and the “nones”. I want a church made up of people who face the facts of reality, who are courageous enough to call out something if someting is bad, and say it’s bad, and then learn what’s good if it’s good. I want a church courageous enough to make plans, allow those plans to be challenged and then change those plans when necessary.

I want a church connected to the vast Christian church history. I want a church who recognizes our connections with other faiths, with the Jew, the Muslim, the Hindu and all kinds of other religious faiths.

I want a church who surrenders to the Lordship of Jesus, who acts like Jesus is indeed the Lord of the church, who as all authority and power and glory.

What kind of church do you want?

As I shared here previously, I attended the 2013 Global Leadership Summit. I made an offer to share these videos with any UBF chapter or person who wanted to invite me to view and discuss them afterward. That offer still stands. Now I’d like to expand this offer using Skype. So here is my announcement and expanded offer.

Skype Me

So starting tomorrow, Sunday 9/22/2013, my Skype is an open mic. Please see the steps below to chat with me on Skype about anything you want. I am willing to share the GLS videos for you or a group of people to see. And I’ll gladly talk about anything you want to talk about. The first video is 29 minutes.

I received the first video from the 2013 WCA GLS. It is a bonus video that didn’t happen at the GLS. The video shows Patrick Lencioni interviewd by a lead pastor from St. Catherines Canada, Jeff Lockyear. Jeff is the head pastor at Southridge Community Church. In this interview, Jeff asks pointed questions to Patrick about how to apply some of Patrick’s leadership teachings in the church realm. The interview is based around Patrick’s book, The Advantage. Here is an excerpt from a review on Amazon:

“While too many leaders are still limiting their search for advantage to conventional and largely exhausted areas like marketing, strategy, and technology, Lencioni demonstrates that there is an untapped gold mine sitting right beneath them. Instead of trying to become smarter, he asserts that leaders and organizations need to shift their focus to becoming healthier, allowing them to tap into the more-than-sufficient intelligence and expertise they already have. The author of numerous best-selling business fables including The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and Death by Meeting, Lencioni here draws upon his twenty years of writing, field research, and executive consulting to some of the world’s leading organizations. He combines real-world stories and anecdotes with practical, actionable advice to create a work that is at once a great read and an invaluable, hands-on tool. The result is, without a doubt, Lencioni’s most comprehensive, significant, and essential work to date.”

How to Skype

1. Download and install the Skype client for your phone, PC, Mac or just about any device. Call or email me if you have technical questions about doing this. (My tech support is free :)

2. Search for my Skype ID or send me yours and I’ll call you. Just search in Skype contacts for “briankarcher” and you will find me (don’t type the quotes, just briankarcher). This is completely free for you, no matter how long we talk.

3. That’s it. There is no cost to you. I am paying the yearly subscription, so I can host a group chat, a group video call or a group screenshare.

My Promises

Although I may not always follow policies and I may not be able to carry out what I plan to do, I will always keep a promise I make. Whether you agree with me (many don’t) or not, you should know by now that I won’t knowingly break a promise I make. I will make every effort to keep my promises. You may not like my approaches or actions the last two years, but at least you should be able to see that I will do what I say.

a. I will not share any content of what we discuss. Your conversations with me on Skype will be private and confidential. I will never post any conversation in any form on this blog nor on my blog nor on any public social media, including Facebook.

b. I will not reveal your identity. Even if someone asks me who is talking on Skype with me, I will not tell. You are free to share as much or as little of your identity with me, but rest assured I won’t share who you are or where you are from with anyone.

c. I will not bring up UBF unless you do. If you want to talk about UBF related topics, fine. You know my stance already. But I will never bring up the subject of UBF. I will not pick the topics or video. You will choose the topics and the video(s). Right now of course there is only one video choice until the rest arrive in late October :) If you want me to share with a group of people, let me know your guidelines in advance, and I will honor those guidelines. If I disagree with your guidelines, then I’ll tell you and either modify them or not do the presentation. I will not bash UBF on these calls and will never initiate a comparison of the teachings from the videos with UBF teachings.  I would only do so if you bring up the subject of UBF. If you don’t talk about UBF, I won’t either.

An Example Video

Here is a sample of the kind of thing you’ll hear in these videos. This is a clip from Andy Stanley’s introduction of Bill Hybles as he was about to speak at the 15th anniversary celebration of North Point Community Church on September 20,2010.

I cared. I still do. I love each and every one of these people deeply. I love each and every person in Toledo UBF deeply. It pains me even more deeply to see the flesh of the Body of Christ torn asunder by the abuse of power and authority and by the apathetic attitude of the very people who call themselves shepherds. 

I also care deeply about the “giants” who also left. The last leaders to leave Toledo UBF were the “ancestors”–the Gambers and the Wilsons (If they or others share something with me I reserve the right to post a “part 3” here)

My resignation as director of Detroit UBF came after over 4 months of intense discussions. I tried everything I could to bring attention to the problems these friends were expressing. I sent over 500 emails. My wife and I met SB in person for over 6 hours. I drove to Toledo. I later drove to Chicago.

I couldn’t believe I was witnessing the same pseudo-religious, political manipulations I had witnessed during the departures of 13 prior leader families who had left Toledo UBF from 1990 to 2007. In fact, I was stunned to see that I was watching the 1990 events all over again.

During  my last UBF worship service in Toledo UBF, I left early. Before I left, I said to the person sitting next to me who had experienced much anguish over these events: “I won’t let this go”. To this day, two years later, I’ve kept that promise. So without further ado, here is our story. Please listen. Please do not pour salt on our wounds. Please see our concerns.

A 14 Page Letter

“See previous 14 page letter and Emily’s letter. We did it, it wasted my time.”
–submitted by TF

Letter to the Committee 

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Recently it was asked in the Committee meeting what issues I have that have led to my decisions and current separation from Toledo ministry. I would like to share those reasons clearly with you. I share them in the spirit of love and hope.

My primary concern with Toledo UBF is the ministry of God’s word. Since November, I have had a large burden on my heart about the word of God that was being preached in the Sunday worship service. On many occasions, I felt that the gospel was not being made clear and that God’s grace was often overshadowed by our works. Frequently the emphasis is on our response, what we do. It is often expressed using words like “must” “need” “absolute.” The problem is that these words are condemning unless the focus remains on the love and grace of Jesus. Because as we all know, our works must flow out of love, not even out of obedience. It is a careful balance that must be maintained every day.

For example when we studied John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me” the emphasis was on the command “do not” instead of God’s invitation to trust in him instead of worrying. The idea that we can “not” worry by our own effort, by our faith, by our strength, by obedience to God’s command, takes away our very need for a Savior. God knows our hearts are troubled so He invites us to trust in him. Similarly, when we studied John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” the focus was on the word “must” not the word “love.”

As Paul writes, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:2). Even if we could never worry or constantly even treat everyone well by our own behavior, Paul makes it clear, it is worthless without Christ’s love being at the center. The focus on what we should be able to do by faith, out of obedience, becomes a source of condemnation if it is not intimately tied to Christ’s love. These may seem like small semantic problems but they are not small when the result is an unclear gospel and feelings of burden and condemnation.

I believe that the balance of faith and works and love in our ministry is in trouble and I think that the root of that problem is in the ministry of God’s word. For several years, we have gone from messenger to messenger as Pastor Paul has travelled. While this in itself is not a problem, the inconsistency and the lack of time people have to meditate the passage, but more importantly the amount of freedom that messengers have in allowing the Holy Spirit speak to them and deliver the message that God gives them. Instead, an oppressive control seems to restrict the work of the Holy Spirit in our messages. My burden about this and its effect on Toledo ministry became so large that Tuf and I addressed our concerns with Pastor Paul a few months ago. However, this issue has not been adequately addressed or changed yet.

This is also true to our bible studies. A few Saturdays ago, I realized how unacceptable it is to continually reuse the same question sheets year and year, often giving and receiving the same answers. I often here “senior” leaders saying things like, “I have studied this so many times. I did not really receive anything new.” But as we know, 2 Timothy 3:16 reads: “All Scripture is God-breathed” and as Peter writes: “For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God” (1 Peter 1:23). The word of God is alive and it works in us to grow and change us. But when we restrict the Spirit in the word of God, we lose that living aspect. Instead, we sit bored in bible study, surfing the internet and writing down the “answers” to the questions. Bible study should be a lively and refreshing Spirit-filled discussion.

I see the issue of the ministry of God’s word as both a cause of our current situation and a result of our current situation. My recommendation is that reviving the ministry of God’s word becomes a priority. New, fresh, open, discussion based question sheets need to be written. Messages need to be fresh and truly inspired by the Holy Spirit. Also, I believe that it would be most useful for a few people to work on this together and the messages given by a few consistent people in addition to Pastor Paul because it is too serious and too difficult a task for people to undertake randomly.

Which leads directly into my second major issue, the viability of a lay ministry the size of Toledo. I am not sure how anyone could pastor a ministry the size of Toledo while also working full-time. The work to meditate God’s word, to minister to students, families, men, women, high school students, children. To lead the ministry forward so as to remain alive and vibrant and an influence on campus. These are things that people could be devoted to full-time.

I feel like a major problem at the moment is that we have to much to do and as a result, we do not do things well. Instead of being able to move forward, we are spinning our wheels in place. We are “maintaining.” Many people have spoken of the need for true mentors in our ministry. Younger leaders struggle with how to live this life—kids, work, ministry—with joy in our hearts. I know this is true for me in the absence of TP and MP. But I think that what we also need to see is that this is more than giving advice to one another. While I appreciate Mark Gamber’s desire to meet and work with young families, I think we should also ask, based on what? Just experience? While that is valuable, it is not enough. We need to grow in our understand of how to grow personally and how to raise up others. We need to open our hearts and minds and become new wineskins. There are so many books, organizations, workshops, outside ministries that could inform what we do. Why are we not using these things as a resource? And in fact, often seem to have a suspicion and wariness towards them?

I think the conversation of how we can more effectively serve students and each other is a very important conversation to be had in our ministry. And a continual conversation, as we never reach the end of our growth, and just when we think we have it figured out, it all changes.

My final concern is our attitude towards student ministry. Not long ago, I was thinking and praying about the kind of church I would like Tabor to find in Ohio University. My desire is for a vibrant, active, meaningful ministry that students really want to be a part of. Then I realized that this is what we are supposed to be but in many ways we are not. I am not suggesting that we have nothing to offer students because we do. But I am suggesting that what we want often takes precedence over what would be best for students.

A recent example of this has been with our praise bands, easily one of the best aspects of our ministry at the moment, maybe the best. Students are engaged. They are clearly filled with a spirit of praise for God, a spirit they hope to help others find. They are full of ideas and passion and creativity but for some reason we are reluctant to let them actually be leaders and use those things. For example, the tight restrictions on the amount of new songs that they do and the requirements on old songs that older members want to hear is just strange. The praise band should be allowed a lot more freedom than this. And people who don’t like the new songs need to open their hearts to what students like and to what students are listening to. I’m not sure what exactly it is that we are afraid will happen if the student leaders actually lead praise band and are able to make choices for themselves. I am not suggesting that there is not some oversight, but let’s just see what they do. Let’s let the Spirit lead and work instead of keeping such a tight leash on the possible work of God that can be done through and in them.

Our Friday night is an excellent example of how things can be changed to be more engaging and interesting and student-friendly. I thank God for those who have been involved in restructuring and reviving that meeting. The same thing should be done with our Sunday worship service. Right now it is long, dry and boring. It needs to be revived.

In the educational conference I attended last week, an expert on designing and innovating for the future led us through a creative problem strategizing session. It was excellent. But interestingly, the very first step to designing an innovation solution to a problem began with empathy. We need to understand our audience, who we hope to appeal with, and empathize with them. We need to consider them. And we need to do this with students. We need to listen to them, get to know them, and ask THEM what they want, what they like. Again, I feel like this is also often approached with a sense of fear and wariness. This pride that our ministry is superior to other ministries and the distrust of outside ideas is no different than the pride of the Pharisees. It is what Jesus explicitly preached against time after time.

The bottom line became that I do not feel like I can serve God’s mission here. I am not comfortable bringing students into our ministry at the moment. I need to be able to bring students to a place that I have no question that the word of God that will be preached and its practices are biblical and sound. And since I know a lot of students who are ready to be ministered to, I feel like I need to take this problem very seriously.

I want to finish by saying that I do believe that Toledo ministry will be restored. I believe that God’s word and Spirit are here and will be revived. I believe that God is working and will continue His work to the end. I thank God for Mother Barry’s visit and for her message, “And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come” (Mt 24:14). God will do this. We are invited to be a part of it but it is not contingent on our works. However, whether God is calling me and my family to be a part of this revival in Toledo ministry, we are not sure about yet. We are waiting patiently (trying!) in the confusing in-between and have great peace that this is exactly where God wants us to be at this moment. We have been attending Cedar Creek and North Point services and may explore other churches. If nothing else, I am learning a lot about what other ministries are doing and it has been a valuable source of information. Tuf and I are praying deeply for God’s direction and will do whatever God wants us to do. If it is to stay and serve with you, I will gladly join you. But for now, I needed some space in order to receive God’s word and really be able to hear God’s direction.

I pray that these words may be helpful and encouraging. I offer them in a spirit of love and open coworking. Feel free to forward this email to anyone who may want to read them.

With great love and hope,
Emily

“We left Toledo UBF in August 2011 for several reasons. Fran and I both agreed that this was not a ministry to raise a family. Despite the efforts put forth by families we love and care about, our children were not learning and growing. There was no real support for children’s ministry by the church as a whole. Primary emphasis was on college students. So much so that families and children were over looked. The phrase family centered still upsets me. I personally gave up attending Friday meetings regularly a long while before we left because my wife and kids needed my attention more than the church.

We also left because we knew in our hearts that God was calling us elsewhere. We no longer had the college student mission as a family with three young children. God gave us three precious kids for special reason. They became our focus.

Furthermore….

We both were torn up emotionally from seeing all of our closest friends leave. With exception of a couple families, our nearest friends were hurt, betrayed, and not cared for. It broke our hearts. It started with our fellowship falling apart after one brother was mistreated by ubf leaders in Korea and Toledo. All the sudden our entire fellowship left. One family stayed for a short while but they too were hurting. Then, Fran and I accepted role of fellowship leader. This should have never even happened. In hind sight we should have said no and been taken in and loved by the ministry. Instead we were looked at as a exemplary family of faithfulness. We were broken. Fast forward to 2011 and more of our friends were hurt and left. It was too painful to stay.

Finally, Sunday worship became very dull and burdensome. Particularly i was not receiving from the messages for the most part. If I could circle back to the lack of family support. During a Friday meeting in august 2011, after several families and friends left Fran asked a sr. Leader if we could pray for our family and children’s ministry with all the pain and suffering. This so called leader said “no, tonight is student night, let’s not burden them with that.” This floored us and might have been the last straw. Contrary to popular belief we did not leave due to burdens of this life, but burdens from a ministry that hurt so many people that we loved and cared about, with no attempt for reconciliation. We could not grow there nor did we want our kids to continue to be involved where so much hurt and pain persisted. We pray for those we know there and pray God can bring about whatever His plan is for UBF.
–submitted by the Ellis family

“I left because rules were stressed over grace and obedience over love. UBF’s way of doing things were attributed to God’s way of doing things and obedience to leaders in UBF was considered obedience to God. This was evident in the messages. It was evident in the environment, where charts with stars and the traditions of UBF were more prominent than anything related to love or grace. It was evident in social interactions which became increasingly contentious even among leaders. The result was that while I spent all of my time to help children in CBF meet Jesus, and to show the high school students I taught professionally the love of Christ, I was made to feel guilty because I was not feeding sheep, even though I was doing what I felt called to do. In addition, my involvement in UBF took away time I needed to show my wife and children the love of Jesus, a tension I was never happy with. When I brought up any of these issues, no one listened. T and E were much more vocal than I was. They, in love, let ph know that the ministry was in danger and pleaded with him to institute changes. His response was that he did not care if everyone left, he could start over with one family. Then I knew that UBF traditions were more important than people to UBF leaders. I began to see the hollowness and deception inherent in UBF theology. And finally I began to see that leaders in UBF did not mind committing grievous sins in order to protect a man-made organization and its silly traditions. This was the end. I was completely embarrassed that I was ever a member. I needed to love my family. I needed to experience grace and freedom in Christ rather than condemnation. I needed time to rethink everything I had been taught. Most of all, I needed to learn to develop a personal relationship with Jesus and to find His path for me, rather than having a path imposed on me by an institution that I found to be arrogant, inflexible, obtuse, and insensitive. I could no longer follow Jesus in such a context. I love many UBF people, but hope the institution as I experienced it dies so that it can no longer present a perverted Gospel, justify the neglect of children and give Christianity a bad name.”
–submitted by the Muehling family

“I believe it was shortly after attending the European conference in the spring of 2011 that we began to question whether or not we were in the right place. In our eyes, the state of the ministry was becoming somewhat dark. At the time, we likened it to a cloudy fish tank where the fish in the bowl were blindly swimming around. To us, the cloudiness was some sort of spiritual darkness. In that environment, no one could really see the state of one another or help each other. And no outside Christian community (UBF or otherwise) could see inside either.

To us, the main problem was that Sunday messages did not sit with us well. At first, it was just that God’s word wasn’t able to speak for itself and messengers seemed to be emphasizing an idea or a point that they just wanted to make. Eventually, we heard unbiblical, heretical statements from the pulpit. Most importantly, the gospel wasn’t being presented clearly and human effort and works were being emphasized instead. Ultimately, the things that we heard on Sunday planted a sense of mistrust and we came to the point where we couldn’t worship God freely.

In July of 2011, we presented this issue as well as two other unresolved issues to the pastor and our fellowship: (1) The ministry was disjointed with no co-working between the pastor and the ministry as a whole. Key relationships of “senior” leaders were damaged and broken so that the ministry couldn’t function fully. And they weren’t being resolved. We felt limited in what could be done for God’s work and we felt that our full involvement was condoning unresolved issues and broken relationships to continue. (2) Two other families had recently left because they were legitimately mistreated and there was an absolutely silent response to it. Sure, people hurt people. But these families had been part of the ministry for a long time, were truly hurt, and nothing was done. To us, losing a part of the body and not apologizing or doing anything about it immediately was wrong. We didn’t hear any public prayers or see any acts of love go out to those who left and this broke our hearts.

While presenting these, we privately prayed for the spiritual health of the UBF community, including our pastor. But we also began attending two worship services — Saturday evenings at a local church and Sunday mornings at UBF. We did this for about four months and we prayed. We participated in helping the Leadership Council be established. But the items we had brought up were not addressed.

In November 2011, we received the final tug from God for us to go in another direction. Of course, we still have friends in UBF. We’ve heard of changes and of things being different. But we haven’t considered going back because God has led our family in a new direction. Our family still has the same calling. We’re just in a different community where we are safe, we can worship God, and we can be involved in great and beautiful things for God.”
–submitted by the Roth family

Simply put, I left UBF because God led me out. I prayed and agonized for months, open to whatever God wanted, until the Holy Spirit moved me, made me know it was time to go. I even attended two worship services during my final year in Toledo UBF, the UBF service and a service at another church. I was in UBF for eight years, and the longer I stayed, the worse the problems became and the more aware of them I became.

There were several problems with Toledo UBF.

First, I was always made to feel like I was never good enough. Despite helping to lead HBF, running tech for Sunday services, meeting with college students, and doing several other things, none of that was good enough because I wasn’t teaching the Bible one-to-one. I wasn’t good enough because I wasn’t disciplined enough, spiritually or physically. I didn’t attend early morning prayer meetings, and SH told me I needed to go at least one morning a week, as she said, “to show people.” (I told her I had no need or desire to prove my faith to anyone.) I was already a self-conscious person, but I became even more so during my time in Toledo UBF. I felt judged. I was almost always on edge, ready for the next critique. While it’s true I will never be deserving of God’s grace, the Holy Spirit finally broke through to my heart shortly before I left and reminded me what I had learned when Christ saved me: God loves me as I am. Christ died for me long before I even knew him. I am loved enough to die for. To feel crushed almost all the time is not what God wants for me.

Second, I became offended by “shepherding” as practiced by Toledo UBF. I value my relationship with the Holy Spirit. His guidance has been of monumental importance in my life. But UBF puts the “shepherd” in the place of the Holy Spirit. You’re expected to talk to your shepherds before making any decisions, rely on them, take direction from them. Instead of encouraging relationships with the Holy Spirit, people were expected to be puppets manipulated by their “shepherds” and “leaders.” And the Holy Spirit was seldom talked about, seldom preached about, if I remember correctly. In addition to this idea of “shepherding” was this idea that “leaders” knew what was best for others in the ministry. For example, at one time, I was up for a promotion at work, which would have moved me to a store a little over an hour away from Toledo. I had been praying very specific prayers about this job, even about the opportunity to interview for it, and God had been answering very specifically, and he was opening doors. It was really an amazing experience. I had also already decided to commute if I got the job. I was pretty quiet about it while I was interviewing because I felt I would be judged by my Bible teachers for making what would seem to them a stupid decision. When I did tell someone in the ministry, it was JP. I asked him to pray for me. He told me no. He said he couldn’t pray for me because then I would leave sisters house. He had no idea what God had already done, how he had already opened the door. JP didn’t bother to inquire about anything, just simply refused to pray for me because of one “negative consequence” he was certain would occur. I didn’t even tell my Bible teachers when I got the job. They found out weeks later and, as predicted, they thought I had made a poor decision.

Third, Toledo UBF operated on the understanding that there was only one way to do things, that every Christian had to be the same. Everyone had to be a Bible teacher. Everyone had to do the same kind of daily devotion (and the time of day you did it either increased or decreased its worth somehow). There was little-to-no real appreciation of individuals’ gifts, unless they were gifts already deemed beneficial and worthy, like musical gifts. Instead of allowing God to work through the uniqueness of his creations, Toledo UBF had this mold that it worked very hard to force people into.

Fourth, there was a mentality among many – maybe not all – that UBF was THE ministry. There was this sense, this idea, that no other ministry could do what UBF was doing. JP said to me, when I told him I was considering leaving, that I would never find another ministry that delivered the word of God the way UBF did. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I hoped that was true, which leads me to my next point.

Fifth, messages were tragic. GL delivered a message at a spring conference in 2011 (I think that’s the right year), in which he declared that we needed to pray for God to glorify us. I couldn’t believe it when I heard him say it. Then PH got up to deliver prayer topics and announcements and tried to justify it! What?! PH’s messages also appeared to be directed at rebuking certain people sometimes. Additionally, we studied the same passages repeatedly, and there were really only a handful of “lessons” that were constantly recycled and inserted into these passages. Messages conformed passages into the points the “leaders” wanted to make, as opposed to letting the Holy Spirit work freely through God’s word. (I will say that not everyone’s messages were like this, but most of the messages were or appeared to me to be so.)

Sixth, I was sick of people being judgmental and manipulative. SH became my Bible teacher later in my time at Toledo UBF. She explicitly taught me that women needed to be more spiritual because often or most of the time when people left the ministry it was because of the wife. She used MP as an example. SH also worked behind the scenes, manipulating people.

You know, on my final Sunday at Toledo UBF I really tried to pay attention to the message. I knew I was leaving, my decision was made, but I was listening, half-hoping for some sign that PH had changed, even a little. I was looking for some reason for the Holy Spirit to call me to stay. I was sadly disappointed. I forget now what the message was, but in it PH spoke of people leaving and problems within the ministry. He spoke of his own part and said he accepted responsibility, but it was obvious he didn’t mean it. It was obvious he had no sense that he had done anything wrong at all. It was heartbreaking. When I approached JW afterward to tell him I was leaving, he just looked at me with such sadness and said, PH doesn’t get it. And then we hugged each other and cried. Then I left.
–submitted by KB

“After living the UBF heritage, defending the UBF heritage and examining the UBF heritage for the past 26 years (since 1987), I have concluded that anyone who adheres to this ideological system will eventually build a cult. I left UBF because I wholeheartedly rejected the UBF 12 point heritage system. I find this system to be so severely flawed and full of contradictions that any sensible human being ought to reject the UBF heritage because full implementation of the heritage can only lead to severe misuse of authority, improper ennoblement of power and abuses of many kinds. Every Christian ought to reject the UBF 12 point heritage system as heresy that undermines the gospel of Jesus Christ by enslaving people to ideologies and behaviors that become extreme entanglements and hindrances to personal freedom and human well-being. I left UBF ministry because the UBF 12 point heritage has caused massive division among Christian brothers and sisters of many nations for over 50 years, tearing at the very sinews of the Body of Christ. I left in order to save my wife from such entrapment and to spare my children from ever knowing such burdens. And finally, I left in order to preserve my sanity, to restore broken relationships with numerous relatives and friends, and so that I could begin my long road of recovery as I follow Jesus Christ my Lord through the promptings and leading of the Holy Spirit who speaks through the Holy Scriptures. All praise, glory, honor, power and authority belong solely to our Lord Jesus Christ in whom is found all supremacy, necessity and sufficiency for a full, hopeful, joyful and amazing life.”
–submitted by Brian Karcher

I begin my observation in 2009 when a massive building project kicked off in Toledo UBF. This is after the heart-wrenching departures of senior leaders in 2001 and 2006. Three years later, nothing significant had been done to address the leaving of JH/KH, AN/SN and TP/MP. They just disappeared, even though they were a huge part of Toledo UBF history as well as American UBF history.

So a building project was kicked off. It was claimed often that this project had united all Toledo UBF coworkers and the wonderful aroma of Christ was gloriously present among us. I was in Detroit in 2009, but I was contacted and contributed to this approximately $1.5 million project. [Note: Since posting this article it was brought to my attention privately that the actual cost ended up being closer to the $700K to $800K range. Many of the original projected costs were trimmed down in various ways.]

But first the old building had to be torn down.

When I saw this picture for the first time, it was shocking. I admit it– I cried. My wife and I were married in that building. My sweat, blood and tears helped build that building. It was the vision of the late James Kim. It was built by student labor. Every Saturday (and many other days during the week) for over 3 years, we students labored to build that building. I’m not so sentimental about buildings. And I’m aware that there were structural issues with the building. But why was there no recognition of James Kim’s vision and labor? Or was there some recognition I’m not aware of?

A United Toledo UBF?

I attended the new center dedication ceremony in 2010. I saw the great building. But I wondered if it was true that Toledo UBF was so united, glorious and wonderful? It certainly appeared so outwardly. John Jun gave a lecture from Haggai and declared to us: “Fill this house!”

Magnitude of the departure

In approximately a 9 month period spanning 2011 and 2012, the following families left Toledo UBF.

TF/EF (5 people) 30
NM/SM (4 people) 30
BK/MK (6 people) 47 (had been sent to Detroit in 2003)
JR/PR (6 people) 25
CE/FE (5 people) 30
KB (1 person) 10
JW/RW (6 people) 55
MG/CG (5 people) 55

7 families, 38 people, 282 years of committment from American leaders (ok there is one Korean missionary in the mix). In addition 2 other Korean families left about the same time to pioneer other places. These families were leading everything from childrens’ ministry to Sunday service to offering administration. These were Sunday messengers, Treasurers and Fellowship Leaders. They had done everything they could to “make it work”. Several of them had been there when Toledo UBF was first pioneered. I will be sharing some of their own words in a follow-up article. I feel compelled to let everyone know why we left and to tell our side of this story as factually as possible.

Within the past few weeks, my friend in Toledo UBF shared a Sunday lecture. This lecture is now published publicly. Here is my reaction to it. Here is the public version: THE PLANS HE HAS FOR YOU.

What is springboarding?

Springboarding is a word I made up. It does not exist in Merriam-Websters dictionary. Why did I make up such a word? I made up “springboarding” to describe how I used to write messages in UBF. At that time, I would not care about the common definitions of words. I would redefine words, take them out of context and arrange them to make my point, a point I often didn’t understand. I took much liberty with language.

The word springboard however does exist. No I’m not talking about that flexible board used in swimming pools. I am talking about the other meaning: “a point of departure; a jumping-off place”.

The most common problem I have discovered with my UBF messages, and a problem that is rampant among UBF messengers, is the act of taking a “key verse” and using that verse as a point of departure from the bible text. The late James Kim warned me about this when he critiqued my messages. He warned me of the danger of making my own framework and then jumping into that framework from one of the bible verses in order to talk about something I wanted to talk about. He said we should respect and understand the framework presented by the text before making any conclusions or applications. For some reason, I didn’t listen to his good advice. I am listening now however!

Feeling exiled

My friend really wants to talk about hope. He clearly feels some connection to the exiles mentioned in the book of Jeremiah. He and his ministry is in quite a bit of chaos lately, and has been for about three years. And in the back of his mind he knows the chaos has been there all 25 years he’s been there. Listen to some of his words about how hopeless he feels:

“In my 25 years in Toledo UBF, to my knowledge we have never studied a passage from the book of Jeremiah.”

“We don’t always get to choose were we are to be and our best laid plans often don’t work out. Maybe you planned for 2 children, but God gave you 4 instead. Maybe you planned to study computer science but God changed your major to creative writing.”

Jumping into Hope

Ok so my friend is feeling a bit down and rather quickly remembers one of the most quoted verses in Toledo UBF, Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He then gets excited and launches into preparing a message about hope. He longs for hope and correctly recognizes that the people still left in Toledo UBF need hope. So what does he do? He jumps into talking about hope from Jeremiah 29:11. He really wants to talk about hope, and by the stars in heaven, he is going to.

I find it highly insightful to notice what words the Holy Scripture talks about and what words my friend talks about in his message.

This is my friend’s message visualized in Wordle:

Based on word counts, his message is unbalanced and creates a framework different from the text in the bible. He talks mostly about these three words:

1. God (God or God’s appear 96 times)
2. hope (hope appears 37 times)
3. plans (plan or plans appear 33 times)

This is Jeremiah 29:1-14 visualized in Wordle:

What are the top 3 words this text talks about?

1. LORD (appears 8 times)
2. exile (appears 5 times)
3. Jerusalem (appears 5 times)

Hope is not hope-so but a know-so

I’m not making this up. The Toledo UBF messenger says “hope is not hope-so but a know-so”. What does that mean? Because I know this man personally, I know he is capable of so much better writing. Why is he so confused?

“Hope is the main message I really want to talk about today. But how can I ever hope to explain the meaning of hope. Underneath every story from Genesis to Revelation you can find a message of hope. Essentially, the stories all follow the same basic pattern. Man puts his in something other than God, man fails, God disciplines man; man either repents and finds hope in God again or loses hope and dies miserably. These stories also teach us that humans have definitions of hope that are different from God’s. We might hope our team wins, or we might hope we don’t lose our jobs or our house. But the biblical definition of hope is not hope-so but a know-so.”

“Hope-so hope is not for sure. There is no absolute certainty about it. But godly hope is know-so hope, because there is no doubt that what God says, will happen. It is surer than the rising of the sun each day. Here are just two words of God for which we can be certain.”

1 Cor 10:13b “And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

And Rom 5:5 “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

Clearly my friend is seeking “a way out” of the mess in Toledo UBF. He has been disappointed the past three years and longs for love to be poured out. What hope does he find? What hope does my friend offer us? Keep reading.

“God’s hope never disappoints, because God is always faithful to His word. He is our anchor in the present and for the future. The apostle Paul tells us in 1 Cor 15:19 “19 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.” Godly hope is not hope for in the things of this life, but for God’s heavenly treasure. Our true hope is Jesus and his kingdom. Until we reach it we must keep believing, keep trusting, keep obey and remaining in Jesus and his words.”

So my friend gives us a vague hope for future life in heaven. Wait a minute, I need hope now! Can’t we have hope now too? That verse he quoted does not say “Don’t have hope in this life.” It just says “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.” That means we can and should have hope for this life and also for the future. My friend falls for the typical UBF misrepresentation of 1 Corinthians 15:19. The UBF teaching almost always presents a false dichotomy. The verse is not saying we have to choose between hope for this life and hope for Heaven. It is simply saying don’t have hope only for this life. The hope Jesus gives is for now. It is for today. And it is for tomorrow and the future and in Heaven. Hope is hope. We need it now and in the future.

Self-generated Certitude

The Toledo UBF messenger then launches into teaching us three methods of generating certitude.

“The condition to receiving the plans that God has for us, and for realizing God’s hope is three-fold. Call, come and pray, and seek with all your heart. Calling on God is not like calling someone on your cell phone. To call on God is first to acknowledge God’s sovereignty and power over our lives. In this way we can “approach the throne of grace with confidence…and receive His mercy and grace in the time of our need.” Secondly, to pray. Pray for the forgiveness and God’s help in following the plan He has laid out for us. Finally, seek me with all your heart. We won’t know God’s will, seeking him half-heartedly. Only seeking him in desperate times. We won’t come to know God’s hope, if our heart remains divided between our worldly hopes for wealth, and relationship and God’s hope for eternal riches that remain unseen.

Call, and God will come! Pray and He will listen. Seek with all your heart and you shall find. Then, we our spirit within shall experience God’s living hope! A peace amidst the storms of life! A knowledge and understanding of God’s plan that enables us to make sense of the world around us.”

I hope my friend reads other parts of the bible when speaking about hope in the future, such as Psalms 62:5 “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.” and Colossians 1:27 To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

The hope found in the bible is not dependent on our seeking or our praying. The bible presents the great story of hope in the person of Christ.

Hope is not Certitude

I think we should take a look at the dictionary for a moment. My friend is presenting methods to generate certitude, not preaching the gospel of Jesus which inspires hope that is living.

hope (noun)
desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment
someone or something on which hopes are centered

hope: (verb)
to cherish a desire with anticipation; trust

certitude:
the state of being or feeling certain; certainty of act or event

Conclusion

Here is the conclusion of this hopeless message:

“We all experience times of exile. We often can’t wait for our current struggle to be over. But through the message of Jeremiah we learn that we must never give up. We must do our part and continue living one day at a time in obedience to God’s word. God does have a plan for us but His plan might not be on our timing. Until then, we call, pray and seek, In so doing Christ Jesus will reveal himself to us. God’s spirit will speak to our hearts and lead us in paths of righteousness. Even though our present reality may be like a valley of death, we shall not fear, but hope in the Lord and in goodness. In His hands we shall prosper and dwell in the house of Lord forever.”

I don’t hear hope here. I hear about plans and working. I hear selfish ambition to grab God’s blessing. Is our Lord so inclined to listen to such plans and work? I hope so.

An example of hope

I find this paragraph to be utterly offensive and hopeless.

“God commanded the exiles to pray for their captors. It is easier to pray for the people and places we like, but God says we must also pray for the people and places we don’t like. “Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers we all prosper.” In Toledo, our Public school system is not good so I and many of our co-workers send their children to private schools, charter schools or do home schooling. Be we really must pray for Toledo schools, because if they fail, people will leave Toledo, then business leave, then the University declines and so on. And so Toledo could fall into ruin like our neighbor Detroit who recently declared bankruptcy and who lost 25% of it population in less then 10 years. 30% of its houses remain empty and abandon. I don’t believe it will happen to Toledo. The point is whether we are from Toledo, Frankfurt, Cologne, Seoul, or wherever, we must Pray for our cities and countries and it’s leaders.”

Perhaps my friend in Toledo UBF will come to visit Detroit and learn about hope?

“The Stand” by Hillsong United

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

___________________________________

Luke 2:19 “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (NIV84)

For 24 years I have quietly stored up many things in my heart. I have pondered these things over and over nearly every day since 1987.

Here is an explanation of my current situation. I have not yet left UBF ministry as a whole. I am seeking any possibility of a role for me in UBF.  But I have decided not to remain connected to Toledo UBF, apart from the personal frienships I have made. I will not listen to any Toledo UBF message nor will I accept any direction of any kind from Toledo UBF.

These are the three reasons why my family will no longer be connected to Toledo UBF and why we expect to leave UBF completely by the end of this year (unless there is some miracle of God’s intervention…)

– There is no further training for me in UBF. I have exhausted the training methods and programs available to an American Christian. God has called me to be a pastor and shepherd and missionary, not a director.

– There is no role for my family in UBF.  My children, wife and I need Christian fellowship and ministry together, not alone. We have no way to effectively help C and V and their daughter as a lone house church in UBF-style ministry.

– There is no evidence of repentance among senior Korean leaders in Toledo and little evidence of actual repentance in the 50th anniversary celebrations/missino statement.  I have heard a lot of appologies and condolensces, but no significant change.  There have been some slight behavior changes the past 24 years, but no repentance at the top leadership level.

Here is a timeline of my desire to leave and decisions to stay up to this point:

In 1987 I began Bible study at the invitation of both ES and Dr.PH, who met me in my dorm room. Soon I wanted to leave. I decided to stay because of the welcoming heart of ED and several women missionaries, and my friendship with TP.

In 1988 I wanted to leave because of my father’s slow march to death from ALS. I decided to stay in UBF because I found salvation in Christ through this ministry during the Lake Geneva Easter Bible conference.

In 1992 I wanted to leave because I wanted to start dating again. I decided to stay because I found God’s vision to be a missionary to Russia.

In 1994 I wanted to leave because I saw no chance to actually be trained as a missionary.  I decided to stay because of the Godly relationships I made, most importantly, the new relationship with my wife M (We were married the same day as T and M, who had become good friends).

In 2003 I wanted to leave because of the way my relationship with Dr.P was broken through the Detroit pioneering process.  I decided to stay because JP helped me see the stone of bitterness in my heart. God removed that stone. Then I decided to stay in order to obey God, to “keep face” with missionaries and in order to not ruin other people’s faith.

In 2006 I wanted to leave because I heard the struggles of my best friend, TP. I saw the patterns of good Christian families leaving being repeated again and again since 1990.  I decided to stay out of obedience to God and out of a desire to keep my calling, not realizing that God’s calling can be kept in any number of contexts, not just in UBF.

In 2009 I wanted to leave because I read James and Rebekah Kim’s open letters on the internet regarding the 1990 event. I read those letters completely for the first time. I fell into deep despair over this and my personal financial struggles, which were near bankruptcy.  I decided to stay because I saw the movie “The Passion of Christ”.  Through this and the message I delivered on the cross of Jesus at a conference, my faith was restored and I felt God’s healing of my emotions. I decided to stay in UBF only to find a reason to stay.

In 2011 (April) I heard about T and E’s struggles and observed the significant decline in quality of Toledo UBF messages since 2006. I saw a huge and growing gap between the perception of our ministry and the reality of our ministry. I resigned as Detroit UBF director because this role is not pleasing to God and is not healthy for me or my family or our house church. I decided to stay in order to “stand in the gap” based on Ezekiel 22:29-31.

In 2011 (July) I had many discussions with my mother-in-law, my grandmother, a pastor from a small town church in Ohio, many Toledo UBF coworkers, senior Christian leaders like John Armstrong, senior people in UBF like Sarah Barry, Ben Toh, Joshua Yoon, Ron Ward and Joe Schafer.  I decided to stay in UBF to see a new fabric woven into the old fabric of UBF.

My current personal mission statement is this: “Weave a new fabric of grace, truth, faith, hope and love for Jesus, dialogue by dialogue.”

It has been suggested to me that I meet various people in Toledo to discuss my issues. I am not interested in some closed-door meeting that magically reconciles all things.  I am interested in answers. I am open to dialogue. Here is a list of questions I have for Toledo UBF coworkers. They are not rhetorical. Not everyone has the answer to all the qustions.  But together, there are enough people who can answer these questions. Until we in UBF repent by opening up dialogues, facing tough questions and honestly analyzing our spiritual problems, we will not find God’s healing. Nor will we move on to the greater things of God.

Event 1: The 1990 moving of the Kim’s.
Were our actions illegal according to Ohio Law?
Did these actions violate the US Constitution, Article 4?
Did these actions violate God’s commands to love our neighbor?

Event 2: The Detroit chapter pioneering.
Why was I not allowed to form a pioneering committee to assist?
Why were we demanded to travel to Toledo every Sunday for 6 months?
Why did we not discuss being missionaries to Russia?
Why were we just left in Detroit alone for 8 years?

Event 3: Succession of leadership in Toledo UBF.
Why were AN, TP, MG, PP, SR not groomed to become pastor?
Why is there confusion about being a director vs. being a pastor?
Is there any plan for someone besides Dr.P to be pastor?
How does this situation compare to what happened in Bowling Green?

Event 4: Dead dog training.
What is dead dog training?
Does this training still exist or anything like it?
Why is obedience to authority so highly valued?

Event 5: The gospel.
What is the gospel?
What does UBF have to learn from other churches?

Event 6: Christian ministry.
What is the role of a pastor?
How does a pastor work with other elders?
How does a pastor help church members fine their role and gifts from the Holy Spirit?
What doctrines and teachings should a pastor be reading and knowing?

Event 7: Systematic problems with UBF.
T and N already expounded on this. I agree with all of what they said regarding ministry problems and ways to change.
Why is it so difficult to listen to honest, truthful Christians who have ideas for improving the ministry?
Why are those who speak the most honestly and truthfully driven away from the ministry?

In Christ our Lord who is the supreme authority,
Brian Karcher