I really believe this is God’s work, to usher in a wind of change.

But we need many more to go beyond belief.

After waking up, I found myself in silent lucidity, with a second chance at life!

I second that notion. It took a tremendous amount of chutzpah, guts, and emotional resiliency to say what you said. You were touching upon a pride/ego that has been festering for decades, as Ben said. I wouldn’t touch that with a 10-foot pole. Once you go near it, you get burned. It’s the elephant in the room that no one is allowed to notice; it’s the ostrich with it’s head in the ground pretending there’s no issue; it’s the man behind the curtain in the wizard of Oz; it’s the emperor’s new clothes that everyone is too scared to point out is non-existent, except for the little boy with the chutzpah. Kudos to you.

Brian, I think it is the first time I read your 2011 conference report that “started it all.” It is actually refreshing to read what you wrote, because it was HOT: http://www.priestlynation.com/2011-easter-conference-report/

It is sad that likely few who are currently in UBF are able to share freely and honestly as you did…and survive, even to this day.

The reason you were basically “ousted” since that report is sadly so obvious. It has literally little or anything to do with Christ or Christianity…but everything to do with an untouchable pride and ego that has literally gone on unchecked for decades…and you touched it simply by being HOT!

That conference report is here: 2011 Easter conference report

I decided to just share my feelings with no filter. Within 2 hours I got an angry phone call and was told I was spiritually dead. Things went downhill from there because I continued to be more and more honest. The explosion then happened because I was honest and public about my confession of sin. This did not go over well…

Wow, Bk reading your comment makes me indignant, not at you, but at UBF or PH or whoever did what they did to you. Reading things like this (and speaking from my own experience) I’ve made the observation that Christians can be the worst people of all. This is because they have the word of God which often makes them think that they can take the place of God. For example, some Christian Pastor once said, “If God doesn’t punish America, He’ll have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah.” (I’m not sure what the context was, but I think it was because of the legalization of same sex marriage.) But why is there this vehemence towards the LGBT community? Why is there so much vehemence from Christian to Christian? Why do we treat our neighbors like dirt and gossip and slander if they dabble in pre marital sex, or curse or read certain books and write certain blogs. I’m really tired of the inconsistency and the facade of love. Anyways, I write more about it in my to-be-published article “They want Christ, not Christians.” Once again thank you for your honesty, openness and transparency. We can always rely on you to keep it real. It’s so refreshing and I greatly appreciate it!

Such interesting questions and statements often cause me to smile and chuckle to myself.

I’ve never thought that I “complain about UBF.” That is what others say that I do: complain. But my own thought is that I am simply addressing what I believe is absolutely crucial, but which for the most part has been ignored, dismissed, swept under the carpet, suppressed, minimized, justified, rationalized, etc. As long as this is ongoing, I shall continue to speak the truth as best I can, and hopefully do so in a “kind and gentle” way, if that is at all possible.

So perhaps I could say that I am NOT and have never been anti-UBF but PRO-HONESTY (or pro-HOT).

You question is valid, and I need to answer similar questions: ““Why is Dr. Ben still in UBF if he complains about it on ubfriends?” – See more at: http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/08/17/i-am-not-anti-war-i-am-pro-peace/#sthash.BriGWtwl.dpuf

Why should I expect people to believe me? Should they believe the BrianK who was Mr. ubf? Or the BrianK who constantly bashes ubf?

The same can be asked of ubf. Which ubf do I believe? The ubf that claims to be a mainline church with roots in Presbyterianism? Or the ubf that pushed me out for sharing one honest conference report?

These are the things I delve into in my new book. As I examine the 7 stages of identity transformation, one stage is what I call “Discovering a New Mirror”.

You see, when you break free from UBFism in a healthy way, as you mostly have MJ, you can say “I am pro-Church, not anti-ubf”. But for those of us leaders who went through the shunning process and experienced a painful boot out the door of a ministry we loved and NEVER intended to leave, we cannot say that. It may take decades for me to arrive at such a place.

After the mirror of UBFism shatters, and the mask of the happy shepherd falls off, we former leaders find that there is another mirror– the anti-ubf mirror. It is common for us former members to use all our ubf training against ubf. It is a coping mechanism. We were trained to be sneaky and harsh while keeping up appearances, and so we lash out in the same way we were treated as we were escorted out of the ministry and pushed to either leave or submit.

So for me, I am still mostly anti-ubf. I know I need to continue recovering and find the redemption that is possible, but for now I remain outside the visible Church and strongly anti-ubf. I really do want to see the ministry collapse. I really do want people to leave. That is where I am at and may always be.