I would like to be thankful. Thank you, UBF, for teaching me to bear the cross of your sins, not as a Christian or a gospel servant, but for someone who was a poster child for this ministry without conscience. I am thankful to suffer for that wrongdoing.

Recently my director at work received a letter making me complicit with other shepherds in the abusive UBF system. The person clearly didn’t know me but wanted to warn my school where I work about me. I also received very harsh emails directly talking about the false prophets of UBF. I told them that actually, I agree, at this point.

on a serious note, thanks for sharing.

but for those dooyahs..it’s hard to stop:)-reaction to systemic hallelujah resistance, coupled w/that cartoon song that aughta add joy to these here heavy matters until His truth marches on & His grace restores damaged souls (a church we went once years ago in between ubf stints had some issues to & the way a member expressed it was parking his beater in front with big sign: “NAME OF CHURCH butchers souls”:) I thought of parking my old van in front of church/university/etc but need it to go to work so yer all safe, but it sure lightens my heart thinken yeah let’s find a way to stop butcherin souls in religio/education/politico/etcetero:) & maybe even find a way to enlighten souls:)
well gotta go to work long hrs again, so yer all safe from me further commentin:)

So there is not going to be a public response to my open letter.

At some point I will respond to Augustine and will post that response publicly. But I won’t make it a priority. If UBF leaders are not going to take the long history of abuse seriously (and at this point it’s clear to me that they are not) then there is nothing more that I can do.

Some more random thoughts….

Last week I got email from another second gen at ubf telling me to shut up and go away. This person pretended to care about me, but clearly cares way more about their own glory and the glory of ubf.

The Wikipedia entry for ubf was vandalized again recently (unless that was you forests? :) But a Wikiadmin fixed it quickly.

Also any update on Stephen Lutz and why in the world he would agree to attend the ubf staff conference? It seems absurd that the ubf glorymongers still in authority want to move on in glory and continue to seek to legitimize their flawed ministry without addressing the massive amount of abuse that has happened.

I had an amazing time at Washington D.C. last week! Didn’t have time to visit you and Sharon, but met some really good new friends. They were appalled at what I put up with at ubf. The toxic culture at ubf is just so blatantly obvious when you begin sharing with Christians.

Dropping 10 quotes in a row without any discussion or response is a bit, well, concerning.

Especially the booyah’s and dooyah’s.

In order to be fully alive and fully human, we are each called to live through our true
authentic self, rather than through the façade of a perverse false self where other
people’s expectations of us can become of overriding importance, thus compromising our fragile Ego. Unfortunately, the narcissist is unable to live authentically through
their True Self. Unable to cope with the painful harsh world of their childhood, and in
order to stay safe, they installed a defensive armor around their damaged inner True
Self; this self is referred to as a False Self. The False Self is quite a tyrannical and
grandiose self that can bat off huge amounts of pain, giving the narcissist immunity
from further feelings of depression, abandonment, and shame. Their grandiosity also
gets them the attention necessary to feed their obsessional need for the adoration of
their False Self. Sam Vaknin describes it well when he says, “the False Self is a
cloak, protecting and rendering the narcissist invisible and omnipotent at the same
time”. Actually the narcissist’s attachment to their grandiose false self accounts for
the first three attributes in the DSM’s checklist for NPD shown above (i.e their sense
of self-importance, exaggerated accomplishments, superiority, powerfulness, genius,
and specialness). Unfortunately, this inflated sense of self leaves someone with NPD
excessively aggressive, arrogant and controlling, and insistently seeing themselves as
being better than everyone else. However, the corollary to all this (and where the
narcissist shows their aggression) is that everyone else is, at the very least,
devastatingly devalued by the narcissist (Brownstone).”
OOPS:)

WOW PRIVILEGED/GREEDY EGOMANIACS DO THAT TO YOU WHETHER RELIGIO LIKE UBF, EDUCACIO LIKE NU, VOCATIO LIKE EMPLOYER, ETCETERO:)-ESPECIALLY IF YOU ENDANGER THEIR PLUSH PERKS..
(SUCH AS QUESTIONING THEIR LEGALITY, SEEKING RIGHT, EXPOSING)

SO WHETHER ACCIDENTALLY OR INTENTIONAL IT IS FROM PIT OF HELL & MUST BE OBLITERATED, OR HELLFIRE IS DUE

“The intention is to, in a systematic way, target the victim’s mental equilibrium, self confidence, and self esteem so that they are no longer able to function in an independent way. Gaslighting involves the abuser to frequently and systematically withhold factual information from the victim, and replacing it with false information. Because of it’s subtly, this cunning Machiavellian behaviour is a deeply insidious set of manipulations that is difficult for anybody to work out, and with time it finally undermines the mental stability of the victim.”

Yes, Mark, all former and current members of ubf need to know about gaslighting. That is a key manipulation technique embedded in KOPAHN theology.

More info can be found here, along with the movie that the term came from:

What is Gaslighting?

This disorder isn’t a relationship gone wrong. This disorder isn’t kid stuff. It’s MALEVOLENT. It’s a transference of malevolence and MENTAL DISORDER from the person who has it to the person who DOESN’T.”

Gaslighting is a technique of psychological abuse used by narcissists to instill confusion and anxiety in their target to the point where they no longer trust their own memory, perception or judgment. With gas lighting, the target initially notices that something happens that is odd, but they don’t believe it. The target attempts to fight the manipulation, but are confused further by being called names or told that they’re: ‘Just Too sensitive’, ‘Crazy’, ‘Imagining things’ or the narcissist flat out DENIES ever saying anything hurtful. Gradually, the target learns not to trust their own perceptions and begins doubting themselves. Broken and unable to trust themselves, they isolate further. The target now doubts everything about themselves: their thoughts and opinions, their ideas and ideals. They become dependent on the narcissist for their reality.

For it is in your CONFUSION and acceptance of responsibility that belongs to the narcissist, that a narcissist is able to successfully CONTROL YOU and USE YOU as a scapegoat for their problems.”

Do you recognize that you’re doubting yourself more than you ever have before?

Victims of narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themselves, constantly seeking clarification that they haven’t made a mistake or misheard something.

This reactive adaptation to narcissistic abuse is because the narcissist is ALWAYS finger pointing and shifting blame to YOU for ALL of the ups & downs both in the relationship AND in the narcissist’s personal psyche.
Because this relationship has NON EXISTENT boundaries, you will find YOURSELF constantly PUT UPON and FORCED to accept responsibility for things you didn’t do or say. This borrowed humiliation and shame is exactly what the narcissist intends for the victim to take from the narcissist. Their own unfelt core of shame.”

“Greek chapters are going to expect campuses are going to have a zero tolerance for [members’ misbehavior],” Kruger said. “Schools will be acting quickly because they have a liability and repetitional risk, and they’ll be acting fairly severely.”

“It’s some most challenging leadership decisions a generation of college presidents has faced,” said Peter Lake, director of the Center for Higher Education Law and Policy at Stetson University College of Law.’

Douglas Fierberg, an attorney who has sued fraternities on behalf of hazing and sexual assault victims”

“So the question is, how can they be effectively regulated?” Fierberg said during a recent HuffPost Live discussion. They insist on self-management, he added, which has proved to be dangerous and fundamentally flawed. … They should have to prove that they are in fact safe, not the other way around. There should be no assumption they are safe.”

I TRUST RELIGIO LIKE UBF, EDUCACIO LIKE NU, ETCETERO MAY SEE THE LITE SOONER THAN WE THINK:) HALLEDOOBALUYAH!!!!!!!!!!!

leader chosen reveals more about choosers than chosen, especially since figurehead (coverup for backroom deals/business as usual/public voice of what want hear,not what truth needs be revealed to world:)…! SCOOBYDOOBYDOOYAH

Did you see Announcement of Voting Result for General Director of UBF? http://ubf.org/announcements/north-america/announcement-voting-result-general-director-ubf

So white smokes have arisen over ubf’s pristine chapel; the illuminated College of Cardinals has finally chosen ATK as the Bishop of UBF for one more term. The link says he was elected but who was the opponent, how many votes he secured and why the electors chose him for a second term are top secrets …. Shhhhh!!!

What a way to choose the spiritual leader (or cult leader?) of a spiritual organization! Shouldn’t his achievements of the last term be shared with the world, especially to the subjects of the empire from the official site?

Should democracy be exercised in choosing spiritual leaders? When Jesus finally declared himself as the King of the Jews in no ambiguous words, he had zero votes in his favor (Jn 18:37).

The King decides in the kingdom of God, but for the kingdoms and empires of this world, we need networking and voting, of course.

Is ubf a cult? Well, nothing less than a secret society!

‘We Finally Know the Truth About Where That Fraternity Learned a Racist Song
By Liz Dwyer | Takepart.com
4 hours ago
Takepart.com

The mystery of where members of the University of Oklahoma chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon learned the racist song that appeared in a video that went viral earlier this month—and resulted in the chapter and two students being booted off campus—has been solved. On Friday, OU’s president announced that after interviewing more than 160 students, school officials had determined that the chant is “widely known and informally shared” by members of SAE nationally, reported USA Today. OU’s investigation determined that students were taught the chant while participating in a leadership cruise four years ago that was sponsored by the national fraternity.

Although the national office of Sigma Alpha Epsilon had previously stated that “the national fraternity does not teach such a racist, hateful chant, and this chant is not part of any education or training,” on Friday SAE executive director Blaine Ayers confirmed OU’s findings. Ayers said that so far there is no evidence that the offensive chant, “You can hang ’em from a tree…there will never be a [n-word] in SAE,” is being sung by each of the fraternity’s 237 chapters. However, “We remain committed to identifying and rooting out racist behavior from SAE, and we are actively investigating all of our local organizations to determine whether there are issues in any other location,” Ayers said.’

It’s becoming difficult to keep track of all the disturbing fraternity stories in the news.

Between a Penn State fraternity’s secret Facebook page for sharing photos of nude, passed out women and images of hazing, allegations of drug dealing and sexual assault in a North Carolina State frat, a group of University of Michigan frat brothers destroying a ski resort in a drunken rage, the revelation of a University of Wisconsin-Madison frat’s degrading hazing, the publication of University of Maryland frat brothers’ pro-rape emails, and the now-infamous racist video of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) members calling for the lynching of African-Americans, it would be an understatement to say that Greek life has had a bad few weeks.

RELATED: Five fraternity suspensions in two weeks

These stories aren’t easy reads. They show in stark terms how fraternities are antithetical to the educational mission of their host institutions – because who has time to learn anything when you’re starved and forced to sleep in the attic, like those UW-Madison pledges? Together these revelations paint a picture of endemic fraternity misbehavior that most people would more likely associate with a biker gang than the supposed future leaders of America.

“We don’t have the right to be surprised anymore. These incidents aren’t outliers or cases of individual impropriety, but data points in a clear historical pattern.”
But we don’t have the right to be surprised anymore. These incidents aren’t outliers or cases of individual impropriety, but data points in a clear historical pattern showing the fraternity system to be a structurally flawed vestige of the 19th century. Simply put, fraternities need to be abolished.

The idea that Greek organizations can self-reform or self-regulate – especially on an issue as crucial as campus sexual assault – is as ludicrous as arguing that Goldman Sachs should run the SEC. After all, a much-cited 2007 study showed that fraternity members are 300% more likely to commit rape than non-affiliated students. This study wasn’t an outlier, but the third of its kind confirming the same data.

Expanding sororities to counterbalance the power of frats is no solution, either. Numerous studies have shown that sorority membership is a clear risk factor for sexual assault, especially an assault involving drug or alcohol coercion – a Harvard School of Public Health study indicates that even just living in a sorority house made a woman three times more likely to be raped.

How can we expect higher education to be a ladder of opportunity for all students if neither universities nor the federal government can ensure basic safety by eradicating the hostile environment that is privileged, perpetuated, and protected by these organizations?

As a former member of Dartmouth College’s SAE – a house notorious for its foul hazing – I’ve witnessed how the hyper-masculine groupthink that supposedly builds a fraternity “brotherhood” is the same cult psychology that teaches young men to do things they’d never do on their own.

These organizations’ flaws are systemic, and the symptoms can’t be comfortably reduced to questions of individual behavior. No frat bro exists in a vacuum. Not to mention how these organizations use secrecy to evade scrutiny, the “philanthropy defense” to get themselves excused, and Washington, D.C. lobbying to suppress any reforms.

“The idea that frats can self-regulate is as ludicrous as arguing that Goldman Sachs should run the SEC.”

Fraternities are big business. They own and operate more than $3 billion worth of real estate and take in more than $150 million of tax-free revenue each year. They’re represented by sophisticated trade organizations and a political action committee, FratPAC, that in 2013 succeeded in killing a piece of desperately-needed anti-hazing legislation in Congress.

Believe it or not, we don’t need fraternities to raise money for philanthropic causes. Corporations, religious organizations, non-profits, and student service groups easily produce a greater social good without the obvious human cost inherent to exclusionary, sex-segregated clubs built around binge drinking and hazing. Unlike fraternities, neither the Salvation Army nor the United Way have ever beaten one of their volunteers to death or left them to die of alcohol poisoning with their hands zip-tied after an initiation.

The “philanthropy defense” is a diversion. It always has been. The best available data puts Greeks’ collective charitable giving at about $7 million a year – a statistical anomaly compared to the more than $300 billion donated in America in sum total. Why do frat apologists believe that a small amount – or any amount – of philanthropy can wipe away the stain of repeated hazing deaths? Why do they argue that a few bake sales outweigh the rigorous research and high-profile documentaries like “The Hunting Ground” that show fraternities to be drivers of rape culture on campus?

“These organizations’ flaws are systemic, and the symptoms can’t be comfortably reduced to questions of individual behavior. No frat bro exists in a vacuum.”
To be clear, fraternities aren’t the only sketchy organization to use philanthropy to cover for other activities. Hell’s Angels donates toys to underprivileged children every year – but the Department of Justice still considers them an organized crime syndicate. Apparently, they just don’t have good lobbyists. Why do we excuse some systems of organized crime, but censure others? It’s not just white privilege, but something else ingrained in American life – classism, sexism, elitism, and the fact that a different set of rules exist for the rich, their progeny, and their secret clubs.

Fraternities are out of excuses. It’s finally time for Congress to repeal Title IX’s fraternity and sorority exemption – a loophole that has protected Greek organizations for decades, despite the fact that their codified discrimination clearly undermines the legislation’s aim to ensure gender equity in education. University presidents owe it to the next generation of students to abolish fraternities and replace them with a 21st century system that isn’t hostile to minorities, women, and its own members – not to mention the very idea of learning.”

Andrew Lohse is a former member of Sigma Alpha Epsilon at Dartmouth College and the author of “Confessions of an Ivy league Frat Boy.”

BUT WE ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT BE PULLED BACK INTO THE DEVASTATION/DILAPIDATION/DECIMATION…HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

The Huffington Post | By Alexandra Svokos
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Posted: 03/19/2015 1:21 pm EDT Updated: 03/19/2015 1:59 pm EDT

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Some instructors at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are pushing back due dates on assignments, canceling classes and making certain tests optional after two student suicides in recent weeks, student newspaper the Tech reports.

Matthew Nehring, a freshman, died on campus on Feb. 28. Christina E. Tournant, also a freshman, died at home on Mar. 5 while on voluntary medical leave.

In response, MIT chancellor Cynthia Barnhart last week “asked professors to lighten the load for students,” the Boston Globe reported. (Barnhart and Dean of Student Life Chris Colombo did not respond to The Huffington Post’s requests for comment.)

Electrical engineering professor George Verghese canceled a lecture and made homework optional for a week. In an email to students (see full email below), he asked them to join him at the Harvard Art Museums, which are near campus and free for MIT students.

“We’re surrounded here by all these museums, and there’s no reason I had to have that next lecture,” Verghese told HuffPost. He explained that when he was a student, visiting museums was a great comfort. About a dozen students went to the Harvard Art Museums, and others have come to his office to talk.

“My wife tells me that the students will probably remember that trip long after they’ve forgotten what I taught them,” Verghese said.

“The pace of life at MIT is fast and challenges can mount, amplifying feelings of despair,” professor Peter Fisher wrote in an email sent to students in the Physics Department. “Getting help from Mental Health will also make a big difference. There is no shame in this — in fact, it is a sign of courage and strength.”

Visits to the school’s mental health services have doubled in the last 15 years, the Globe reports, and now MIT is planning a new community initiative called “We All Struggle Together” to emphasize that it’s “socially acceptable to acknowledge imperfections and to seek assistance.”

Student suicides in recent years have prompted a number of Ivy League and other elite universities to put an increased focus on mental health on campus.

Following deaths at Stanford, Columbia and Yale universities, students on those campuses called for improved mental health resources and reforms to voluntary leave policies. Students also raised concerns over workloads. Similar discussions have taken place at Cornell University and the University of Pennsylvania.

UPenn started a stress and mental health task force following two suicides last year. In its final report released last month, the task force cited “destructive perfectionism” as a major source of student stress. The report called for increased communication about mental health resources and training for the community on mental health, according to the Daily Pennsylvanian.

Verghese said that similar pressures are at work at MIT.

“The competition here is not at all related to dragging everybody else down,” he told HuffPost. “The competition here seems to be competition with one’s self. People have high standards, and they work very hard, and they want to excel.”

“I’m not trying to make a connection between workload and these particular events,” he added. “I’m just trying to talk about stress that students feel and the prevalence of it.”

Tragedies foster dialogue about pressure and encourage self-reflection, but not all student suicides at elite schools are caused by schoolwork. As Barnhart told the Globe, “Understanding and somehow controlling stress doesn’t solve the suicide problem.”

“Everyone needs to be a little self-reflective, taking care of their mental health, and worrying about if those around them are also taking care of themselves,” Verghese said.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE

Greetings to everyone!
Sigma Alpha Epsilon has experienced major changes in the past 90 days. The Fraternity has been plagued with an increase in hazing over the past decade that has led to pledges “dying” to be SAEs. The media has labeled us as the “nation’s deadliest fraternity.” Our insurance premiums have skyrocketed and, as a result, we are paying Lloyd’s of London the highest insurance rates in the Greek-letter world. Universities have been denying us the opportunity to colonize on their campus, and we have had to close 12 chapters over the past 18 months for hazing or hazing-related situations.
SAE was founded on a basic premise: to improve the intellectual faculties of its members and to surround each member with friends whose care and duty it shall be to make him happy. For decades, members have learned and recited “The True Gentleman,” a magnificent piece of work written by John Walter Wayland. Nowhere in our Ritual or our creed have we been able to find a single phrase that implies that members joining our beloved Fraternity should be subjected to bullying, hazing, degradation or humiliation.
We were founded by eight young men who believed deeply in the honor of mankind, on supporting one another and giving back to others. Their first new member, or 9th member, of our organization was Newton Nash Clements. They met him, invited him to join SAE and initiated him at their next meeting the following week. Some of our greatest SAEs went through a similar process, including William C. Levere. Pledges and pledge programs were not a part of the Fraternity until sometime after World War I and were not a part of our laws until the 1940s.
Our Fraternity could not withstand another major hazing incident, let alone another death. We needed to act swiftly in order to protect the future of SAE and assure today’s collegiate members have an opportunity to see their sons and grandsons join our Fraternity. The Supreme Council decided to change the laws and eliminate pledgeship from Sigma Alpha Epsilon. On March 9, 2014, all pledge programs ceased, and all the pledges were immediately initiated into SAE. We launched what is now known as the True Gentleman Experience.
We have never had an issue recruiting our members. Unfortunately, due to hazing, we have not been able to retain many of these potentially great members. We have lost far too many members who simply would not tolerate hazing. The True Gentleman Experience involves recruitment year-round. It involves getting to know potential members, inviting them to the chapter and events and participating in formal IFC recruitment.
Once a bid is extended, new members will participate in a chapter retreat, be introduced to “The True Gentleman,” participate in the Carson Starkey Member Certification Program, complete our Scope of Association Agreement and, within 96 hours, be initiated into SAE. Then they will participate in educational programing that will take place over the course of their undergraduate membership.
We have had more positive media coverage in the past 90 days than we have had in the 158 years of our existence. Many alumni, undergraduate brothers, parents and administrators have applauded this bold move. Our critics have been concerned that brotherhood should be earned. I challenge us all to consider their argument. If Sigma Alpha Epsilon is all about a six-, eight- or ten-week pledge program, then we have lost our way as an organization. Brotherhood is built not only over a four-year undergraduate experience but over a lifetime. Hearing the Ritual is very different than living it and making it a part of our existence and life.
Having served our Fraternity at all levels since my graduation in 1985 and having been a member of the Supreme Council for the past eight years, I can tell you wholeheartedly how proud I am of our organization, of our leadership once again in the Greek-letter world and of the great work our chapters have done since March 9. While change is never easy, it is inevitable in order to survive. In an era where hazing, bullying, forced alcohol consumption and abuse is no longer tolerated by anyone, SAE must change so that we can survive another 158 years. Brothers, our brightest days are still ahead.
Phi Alpha,

Bradley M. Cohen
Eminent Supreme Archon
(Arizona ’85)

http://swfight.com/2014/04/03/abraham-han-faces-juan-carlos-candelo-ubf-intercontinental-championship-saturday-el-paso/

This is not the same ubf… But maybe SLee’s boxing training is a good way to settle the General Director gridlock?

“When I asked my missionary coworkers if we could delay GBS even 30 mins so I can make sure my newborn was settled down for the night, I was met with sharp refusal even though we often would delay GBS if a student was participating. I was told by my missionary coworker that it wasn’t my place to offer ideas on improving the ministry.”

In all this godfather-like power mongering currently going on at ubf, what happens to the families? Will ubf realize the horrible un-Christ-like theology of being anti-family that they espouse so highly? Will they ever drop the “mission-above-and-at-the-expense-of-family” attitudes that reek of evil?

To be family-centered is not a sin at all–it is the will of God to uphold the family and the sanctity of marriage. The disrespect for families must end.

only issue is what kind of wrongdoing is it?

But in his closing sentence called on northerners to proceed “with malice toward none; with charity for all; [and] with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right.” They needed win the war and then forget about vengeance.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/anxiousbench/2015/03/lincolns-shrewd-sermon/

Some people are still holding out hope for a compromise solution that tries to please both sides, the hardliners who want to uphold the Samuel Lee UBF heritage and the reform-minded people who want the wrongdoings of the past to be acknowledged. They will want to “split the difference” or “thread the needle.”

Often it is possible to reach a compromise. But on this issue, there isn’t any middle ground. An admission of wrongdoing has to come. This really is the defining moment.

“We were wrong. We need help.”

“To double the work of God by 2010”
― John Jun after the death of Samuel Lee and the expulsion of the Reform UBF wing

Of course, “the work of God” is just a paraphrase for “UBF” or “whatever UBF is doing” in UBF language.

Now it’s time to look back. How did these redoubling effort work out? If not, what does it tell us?

“Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.” ― George Santayana

Right Ben. I would go even one step further.

In a healthy church, where communication and action is open and transparent, this would not even be an issue, you rarely NEED to trust your leaders. For example, in UBF there was no financial transparency in the time of Samuel Lee. Any ordinary church has such transparency. So you can just look into the books, you don’t need to trust. One point the German reform chapter leaders complained about in the year 2001 was that they always sent money and reports to the headquarters in Cologne, but they never got any reports and accounts in return. Abraham Lee literally told them “just trust me.” Another example from UBF is when members where married off to other members from foreign countries. You could only trust the leaders that they picked the right partner. In any healthy church, that would not be the way to marry. You would have the chance to choose a partner on your own, and trust only God in this matter. Currently, members don’t know how their general director is “elected” and which principles he believes in, again they need to just “trust.” The realm of things in which you needed to “trust” your leaders in UBF was gigantic, a sign of unhealthyness.

And I don’t even want to start speaking about the other issue here, the term “leader.” When you read Mt 23, you understand that the whole concept of “church leaders” and “leadership” is flawed and inadequate for NT churches. NT elders/shepehrds are something completely different from OT leaders like Mose. UBF tries to emulate that OT concept of leadership. During the reform, Samuel Lee was always explicitly equated with Mose or David (or sometimes Saul, by people who did not like how Sameul Lee behaved, but tought one needed to obey him anyway). In my German Bible, the term leader (Leiter) appears only in these two negative verses:

Is 9: “Denn die *Leiter* dieses Volks sind Verführer, und die sich leiten lassen, sind verloren.” (Those who guide this people mislead them, and those who are guided are led astray.)

Rom 2: “Du maßt dir an, ein *Leiter* der Blinden zu sein, ein Licht derer, die in Finsternis sind?” (You are convinced that you are a guide for the blind, a light for those who are in the dark?)

My German Bible is spot on about this.

Your mentioning of the acknowledgment of the “sins of the forefathers” e.g. Nehemia and Daniel (and btw also Jeremiah in Jer 14:20) is an important point, I wished everybody understood this. Without understanding this principle, the whole gospel does not make sense. Why should I be punished for the sin of Adam? Romans 5:12 says “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.” We can see this principle also in the small world of UBF. Samuel Lee and Sarah Barry were not like Satan, they were more like Adam or Eve, deceived by Satan telling them they could become like God. The UBF leaders started to behave like gods over other people, they also took pride in their organization, and this sin of pride and usurpation of God’s authority was passed on to all members. Therefore it’s so fundamental that the organization as a whole acknowledges this issue and repents, clearly naming and acknowledging the sins of the forefathers (founders), *and* also everyone’s own sin, since we all consciously and not consciously took part in it.

Thanks so much, vmi, for sharing this! It is also my confession for many years because I too did not speak up, but thought or felt or made to feel that it was not my place to speak up.

Probably and likely there are countless more in ubf who are made to feel that they should simply “trust God” and “trust your leaders.”

Yes we should trust God and our leaders, BUT NOT when there is some clear violation of biblical values and principles, most of which have to do with controlling and manipulating others and shaming others “in the name of shepherding.” The ENDS CANNOT and CAN NEVER JUSTIFY THE MEANS.

I hope and pray that–like vmi–there may be more and more brave and courageous young men and women who will use their God given right to speak up loudly and clearly, for Jesus the Messiah came to proclaim (openly declare) justice to the nations (Isa 42:1; Mt 12:18).

Satan hates justice, equality, fairness, honesty, transparency, reconciliation and unity, while he loves secrecy, cowardice, timidity, discord, mistrust, division, disunity, blaming, condemning, slander, gossip, etc.

You, young lions and young lionesses, are the hope for our future. You are the light of the world. You are the salt of the earth.

I pray that UBF love the Lord and His word more than themselves.
I pray that UBF HQ may show the real repentance as Daniel and Nehemiah had repented for their forefathers’ sin and their own.

I believe God will be more pleased with those act of worship than many bible studies and SWS.

This is my confession.
I repent that I didn’t say to my leader “No, that’s not right. It’s wrong to treat your brothers and sisters in that manner” “It’s not biblical” because I was afraid.
I repent that I didn’t use God given ‘power’ to speak up to make a difference and to correct the unbiblical tradition among us because I loved myself than the body of Christ.
I repent that I didn’t ask to my leader ‘what happened to them who had been hurt and left our church?” because I was afraid but I didn’t fear the word of God. I still see I love my world than the kingdom of God.

I repent that I ignored Jesus’ command to bring peace between people because I wanted to keep My peace.
Even though I didn’t use my God-given power, I blamed other ‘powerful’ people saying they should do something.
Lord forgive me. my hands are not clean.
I didn’t want to lose my reputation and recognition from the people but abandoned Jesus’ name while I kept saying I am doing this for Jesus.
…
To HQ
Although I am not an ‘official’ member of ubf anymore, I and my family who have devoted our whole life to ubf have right to hear the official answer with full explanation including biblical background to Joe’s letter.
I will share your response with your members that I know, including young disciples. I have grown up in Korea ubf chapter so your response will be heard to Korean UBF members and Korean ex-ubf as well. I believe anti-christian Korean media will catch up this story pretty fast.
I believe there will be pains and price you should pay for being silent for many many years. But Have faith in God! I believe there will be more unity and revival in ubf through sincere and humble act of repentance before God. This is a God given chance to receive the new momentum to pursue your movement and vision for next years to come.

I will react to your statement: “I have heard that many leaders have reached out personally, and in confidence, but have been severely burned by your constant deconstruction of their comments and painting their encounters in a negative light. – See more at: http://www.ubfriends.org/2015/03/02/an-open-letter-to-the-president-of-ubf/#comment-17018

I have a great deal of experience with UBF leaders going back 30+ years. With very few exceptions, they have a very low tolerance for any sort of challenge to their authority. Even in the carefully controlled setting of a senior staff meeting, if you raise a very reasonable question, they will still feel as though they are getting burned. They already felt burned by the report I wrote back in 2010. And back in 2010, when this website got started and there were no harsh words being written against UBF at all (go back to the articles and see for yourself; everything is here) they wouldn’t participate then either. Even though some of them personally gave their word that they would.

I understand what you are saying and no doubt they feel as though they are getting burned by us. My advice to them is simple: It’s time to grow up.

Seriously. We are talking about patterns of abuse going back decades, with many lives being severely damaged by this organization. Yes, facing the critics and ex-members is going to be very uncomfortable. But leadership is the job that they signed up for. If they can’t handle it, they need to step aside.

Summary of the Saada Roadmap for Peace

1. We must understand that the house of Ishmael has a divine purpose too.
>>Is there some kind of divine purpose for ubfriends and former leaders?

2. We must understand that the real bone of contention is not land; it is rejection.
>>We are not looking for vindication (being proven right) or atonement (blame a scapegoat) but for reconciliation. We want to be accepted.

3. We need to stop pigeonholing Yasooa (Yeshua, Jesus) as merely the “Christian” voice in the debate. He is the Living Word for all sides.
>>Could it be that Jesus is our (former member) Lord too? Do we not serve one Lord? I would contend that we need to stop trying to fit Jesus into our UBF or ex-UBF box.

4. Finally, we need to begin feeling each other’s pain.
>>Both UBF and ex-UBF need to feel each other’s pain and see each other as human beings for whom Jesus died and people who Jesus loves.

First, look at this memo that I wrote seven years ago about the creation of an External Advisory Committee (EAC). It was debated by the elders and then rejected. Something like this must be put into place if there is to be meaningful long term progress.

http://www.ubfriends.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/EACmemo.pdf

Second, don’t just issue a statement of apology to all the critics and ex-members “out there.” At the same time, issue a strongly worded statement to all the chapter directors and staff and everyone who considers themselves members (whatever that means) of the organization. Tell them that they should stop acting as though critics of UBF are enemies to be ignored or silenced. Jesus commands you not to fight or defeat or silence or avoid them but to love them. The most basic act of love is to listen carefully to them, dialogue with them, and take their words to heart. Explicitly declare that UBFriends is not a hate-ubf website. (If we hated you, we wouldn’t be talking to you as we are right now.) Sooner or later, people in UBF will realize that the editors of UBFriends were and are some of the best friends they could ever have. Heed the teaching of Jesus and the apostolic teaching found in the Didache, where Christians were urged to love their enemies out of existence, i.e. keep loving their enemies until they had no more enemies. From the Didache:

What you may learn from these words is to bless them that curse you, to pray for your enemies, and to fast for your persecutors. For where is the merit in loving only those who return your love? Even the heathens do as much as that. But if you love those who hate you, you will have nobody to be your enemy.

Dear UBF members: think of how you honor and praise and love the “in” people in your fellowship who are loyal to your tribe. Then go to the “out” people, the ex-members and critics, and treat them as if they are “in.” That is what Jesus did. That is the gospel.

Amen and amen. Thanks for sharing.

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First, I tend to follow Forest’s thinking, it is difficult to be accountable for a single man’s actions. However, that truth (as Joe and other stated) has been used to cover up continued abuses (or non-use) of authority as written by God and described by Jesus. A statement acknowledging past sins and a commitment of no-tolerance for abuse, along with a system created for addressing abuses is a must have for any responsible and repentant organization.

We acknowledge the sacrifice and faith of people who married by faith, for instance, or who sacrificed a great deal, yet it is not an official requirement and bias against people who do not will not be tolerated. Something like that.

Second, establishing a public record of a committment to resolving issues with specific benchmarks is needed. We all know people mess up, but what do you do about it? That’s what’s importnat. Write it. Make it obvious. I was called to staff conferences but never received anything but more Bible study. There are no regulations or policies made available, because they don’t exist. This allows too many oversights to occur without accountability. Define a goal and the measure by which you will have (or won’t have) achieved it.

the other side of the rainbo is if ubf can right the ship..it could be an example to other historically troubled denoms to leave man’s wrong ways behind & increase in God’s right ways to the glory of God & the physical/spiritual/etc health of people (especially young)

i’ve been carrying on a similar battle recently for right/truth/health with universities-especailly nu-no holds barred & battles starting to cross paths/co-contribute which means God is working for good in both realms (of course yesterday the nu campus police fortress forbid me to email admin there anymore-i can email crim invest-so i’ve joined your club of legal risk:) & HIS TRUTH IS MARCHING ON! GLORY/GLORY/HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(by the way: Chicago for Chuy to be mayor::))

SL did stuff that was unacceptable, if not cruel and hurtful. I also know how countless people (including myself) have defended him, and likely still continue to do so: “He loves you. He knows you better than you know yourself. He shows you tough love. He wants to help you love God and to obtain God’s blessing. etc.” There may be an element of truth to all of this, but it can never be a justification for wrongdoing, violating personal boundaries, or outright abuse.

But what is more troubling today is that some/many leaders may think and firmly believe that, “We don’t do such extreme stuff that Lee did. We’re not like that. That’s things of the past. We talk and discuss more among ourselves.” But at heart, it is the subtle, implicit and even explicit thought that “I am God’s servant. I’m the leader. You should clear things with me (your life testimony, the message you will share, whether or not you can date, who you can date, when you can marry), etc. What I say should be followed by the minions.”

They think they’re not like Lee, but at the core and at the heart, the authoritarian culture (“keep spiritual order”) is simply killing ubf.

It’s like when several leaders say that they have free and open communication in their ubf chapter when their own members feel that they really can’t speak up without experiencing some repercussion, usually some form of shaming.

I wrote letter to Sarah Barry (supposedly Founder and Ex-GD), personally met Abraham Kim (outgoing GD) and demanded from James H Kim through this blog (regret demanding his resignation), but none had the courage to confront and expose ubf’s dark past or abusive leaders like John Jun, David Kim and the likes.

Against all hopes, I am praying that Augustine Sohn will act and do what is right for the first time in the history of ubf presidents, not by the power vested upon him by ubf “members”, but as a real man of God.

The last thing I want to hear is about Sohn’s resignation.

The only kind of apology that I can imagine that would work right now would be something that admits past wrongs, acknowledges persistent problems, and sets into motion a process and long-term commitment to reflective listening and true dialogue, happening prominently at UBF events and conferences.

(Mark, we plan to publish your article this week…yes I know that is ironic.)

With that said, my heart is still torn as to whether or not to sever ties with the ministry. The first reason being is that no one has ever apologized for subjecting me and other young would-be disciples to high-pressure environment. And more than that, when I tried to raise this issue, I was constantly and strongly rebuffed. When I started attending service at the Chicago center around 2003 or so, there was so much pressure to perform; the gospel message was essentially squeezed out of the equation of discipleship due to the fact that fishing, teaching the Bible and attending meetings were the measuring stick of one’s faithfulness to Jesus. I am thankful that this has changed as of late, but can someone please explain why the environment was the way it was before this change and perhaps offer an apology?

Also, as an adult with two children, hearing the constant mantra that UBF is a ministry that focuses on raising disciples among college students seems less and less realistic and edifying. Sure, many married people can and do carry this out, but not everyone can express their faith in this way. To be honest, I can participate in this, but many other parts of my life would suffer such as being able to sufficiently invest in my children and develop as a professional. I would ask that instead of constantly pushing evangelism, perhaps the church could do an extended study on the trinity so as to foster healthy, egalitarian relationships between the existing members? I would greatly appreciate any feedback on this. Thank you.

What if we figured out and did good/right things now? What if we had already done them years, even decades ago? On the other hand, what if we don’t do them for more decades?
For example, I grew up Catholic. Why did we feel like priests were on a pedestal? What if we noticed/realized then that a child somewhere had been molested? Probably we could have exposed the problem and helped avoid countless other children being molested. Probably countless donations would not have later been lost in lawsuits.

My dad was a plumber so I learned about water heaters and such growing up. The gas company these days has a zero tolerance policy for leaks. If you report a leak, or a periodic inspection detects one, the line will be shut off until repaired (by you if inside your house or the gas company if outside your house). But it wasn’t always so. Over the years I had occasionally heard in the news about a house somewhere that blew up from an unrepaired leak.

What about UBF “works”/glory-seeking mentality (& to be fair, some other denominations health/wealth mentality)? If reform efforts had been accepted, how many troubles/travesties could have been avoided? Is it not the “perfect social/emotional storm” when sincere young people, who are searching for meaning & purpose in life, encounter the extremes of religion? Some are drowned in a sea of anxiety or despair. Others float awhile but lose confidence & direction, thereby succumbing to worldly problems. Lucky few overcome to search & be set free by the Holy Spirit of Life.

Decades ago probably was not too early. Decades more is certainly unjustifiable, if not intolerable. NOW is here behooving us to make the most of it.
Can we afford socially/emotionally/intellectually/physically/spiritually, not to?

You now have a brief, critical window of opportunity to make a real difference.

If anyone out there has positive, constructive suggestions on how the President of UBF could or should respond, please make your ideas known here and now.

As Brian just mentioned: Silent readers who wish to speak up now are encouraged to do so. Anonymous comments are fine. Your identity will not be compromised.

I take this as a sign that they are making a good faith effort.

Thank you, everyone. Thank you, Jesus.

I want to remind our silent readers that you can comment here anonymously if you want. We will respect your privacy and will not reveal who you are.

God bless and have a ubfriendly day!

answer: NAH, NEVER DID..ONLY BELIEVE IN GOD’S RIGHT WAYS TO ASPIRE TO

& WHAT ABOUT ALL THE DAMAGED KIDS/ADULTS: TO STOP PERPETUATING DAMAGING THEM, WE MUSTNEEDS ADVANCE THE LESSER EVIL OF TROUBLING/TRAUMATIZING THE TRAUMATIZERS; IN TRUTH, WE MUST ALSO SAVE TRAUMATIZERS FROM THEMSELVES-BY SETTING THEM FREE FROM DELUSION/SELF-AGGRANDIZEMENT.

On the topic, it is highly concerning that people are preselected and then voted. My roommate said this is how China picks leaders.

I’m very glad and thankful that Joe made this a public letter and promised that the response (if received) would also be made public. All of my discussions happened behind closed doors. I could not get it beyond the realm of private discussions. So many are afraid or guilty to talk about issues, especially those that question leadership and the “servant of God.” Others have been in the dark and when confronted feel overwhelmed by the issues. It’s not easy to confront them and talk about them, I understand that. But I lost trust in the organization when leaders continued to keep things private and unanswered. As I mentioned somewhere else, the email response I received from Sarah Barry began with a disclaimer to not publish her response in any way. Then salutations followed. I was confused at first why such a disclaimer had to be given, especially since she had called me and asked me what “we” (in Chicago) could do. I also cc’d the GD, but he did not respond. As others mentioned, my intention was also not about vindication or casting blame or retribution. I was looking for actions that showed a genuine concern for the people, but I couldn’t find it.

“When confronted with the charge of tribalism most people simply brush it off. If you’re inside the group you’re disloyal; if you’re outside the group you’re not worthy of being taken seriously.”

I suspect this is what Augustine’s first question was all about.

He asked, “Do you consider yourself a member of UBF?”

* If I had said “Yes,” the tribe would understand that I should be shamed.

* If I had said “No,” the tribe would understand that I no longer exist.

As I sit here in that no man’s land between “in” and “out,” dangling and twisting in the wind, my friends in ubf (are they friends?) don’t know how to treat me.

This article has more than 600 page views in the first 24 hours. Hundreds of you have read it, and hundreds more have heard about it. But only a handful of website regulars have commented. Everyone else is silent.

Tribalism is one of the most powerful forces on earth. But true friendship is stronger.