Here is my observation:

There are two requirements needed to build the bridge between ubf and ex-ubf.

The first requirement is that we must admit that various kinds of abuse have happened in ubf. This does not mean all ubfers experienced and/or created such abuse. It simply means that we must face the facts that the ubf heritage has created an environment for abuse to happen. If someone needs a bible verse to support this, take a look at Romans 4:19. Ex-ubfers are not asking ubfers to waiver in their faith, only to face the facts.

The second requiremnt is that we must admit that shepherding ideology is flawed and actively work to remove it from ubf. To add all kinds of program changes and add committees and attend non-ubf conferences and to create education material is all just re-arranging the chairs on the Titanic. The ubf ship is sinking (in terms of attendance and offering and morale). The core reason is that less and less people buy into the ubf ideology. So for example, JJ flying all over the world doing “continuing education training” doesn’t help in this matter because he and others are just re-enforcing the ubf heritage version of shepherding ideology.

As an ex-ubfer I can only speak for myself. I have no problem with anyone who says “I love ubf” and wants to stay in ubf IF that person has faced the facts about ubf and has given up the shepherding ideology. That is precisely why I can be friends with you (Ben) and Joe. The bridge is built between even though we disagree passionately on various topics. We agree that 1) there have been and continue to be various kinds of abuses in ubf and 2) shepherding as ubf has defined it is flawed. I think people who have dilemas about ubf/ex-ubf likely have not resolved something related to these two issues. I have no such dilema.

For example, the ubfers I cannot build a bridge with are those who insist that abuse is not abuse, that abuse is just some misunderstanding or some cultural conflict or some inter-personal trouble. Those who insist the abuse in ubf is mearly mistakes or common sins or something to be overlooked or just between BK and PH are creating tension and roadblocks that prevent bridge building.

In the end, for me, these two requirements are non-negotiable. And as long as ubf people try to side-step these two requirements, the split will only increase. I can put up with a lot of things, but I cannot call abuse anything but abuse and I cannot and will not accept shepherding ideology as expressed in the ubf heritage.

So am I “driving the wedge”? Perhaps. I admit that I may be causing some of the ubf walls to crumble. But could I also be standing my ground causing the entire ubf organization to change?

Sometimes something must die for new life to grow. Is not death and resurrection at the heart of the Christain gospel?

Yesterday I read this essay which compared the contemporary YRR (Young, Restless and Reformed) movement to a cult. He calls it “the TULIP cult.”

http://peterlumpkins.typepad.com/peter_lumpkins/2013/06/what-is-wrong-with-the-young-restless-and-reformed-movement-an-interpretive-essay-by-dr-paul-owen.html

I am not interested in debating the merits of the YRRs or TULIP. But the author makes a very helpful observation. He writes:

“By a cult, I mean a sect within the broad landscape of Christianity which takes as its operating center some principle other than Christ crucified.”

What is the operating center of UBF? Is it Christ crucified and nothing else? No way, Jose.

Here are the make-or-break issues for UBF leaders.

When SL was alive, the make-or-break issue was whether you were personally loyal to him, whether you would back him up on everything or not. If you tried to challenge him either privately or publicly, he would label you as rebellious and train you to break you. If he couldn’t break you, he would see to it that you were marginalized and pushed out. How much you loved Jesus didn’t matter very much. What determined your status (in or out) was your degree of personal loyalty to SL.

After his death, the make-or-break issues became a bunch of principles (preserving the UBF heritage) that served a similar purpose.

Ben, your standing with most UBF leaders is not related to whether or not you love Jesus. Your standing depends on whether or not you are willing to continually sing the praises of all things UBF. Perhaps you can survive in that kind of environment. But many others simply cannot.

Until and unless UBF leaders re-center their personal and collective identity around Jesus and him alone, there will be no end to division. The organization will continue to divide and divide.