You asked: “what do you do if the leader doesn’t agree and continues as before?”

Good question. My answer is that you keep asking. If the repeated answer is the same, then you may have to leave. Or maybe you just stay and tune out the problem. I found numerous shepherds in my chapter who did just that: they just checked out of the ministry, but stayed anyway. ubf directors have taken a “bury my bones” vow, so you can be sure they won’t change their mind.

oh, sure it’s supposed to be about Jesus’ humility/service, but that will never be emulated by ‘religious’ leaders anyway (history is clear) so might as well use it as a platform to announce ‘battle of the races’ (when korean misuses benefits while speaking against hispanic, american says what must be said………….)

growing up Catholic in a small town, catholics felt like the true church descended directly all the way from the apostles; the Baptist church in the next town felt like catholics were going to hell for idolatry of having statues, mary worship,etc

later in Chicago, when Promisekeepers was getting popular: a little neighborhood church pastor was sincerely concerned saying,’how can someone go there & stand next to the Muslim & the Catholic,etc & expect to evangelize them without getting lukewarm dissuaded by them yourself?’

my point is we must control religion or it will control us:)

What I have come to realize is that their love is very conditional and superficial. They extend their love as long as you do what they say. ( Which is not love at all). They keep you at an arms length, there is no real genuine relationship. Or how do you explain the attitude towards those who leave the ministry? They loved you while you were in UBF and as soon as you leave they turn their back on you and call you satan! How is this Christian love? If they had a genuine love relationship with those who left then they would be willing to listen even if it is painful.

A few years ago, Mark and I went through real deep struggles. Our first born lived 3 months and then passed. Later our third daughter was born with a medical condition. We realized that even though we had been in the ministry for so long, we didnt have any real relationships. It reminded me of the parable of the “good Samaritan” people were too busy with ministry to really stop or take the time to love and care. I still remember one missionary rebuking me for not asking about their Christmas program. We had been fighting for our daughter’s life for nearly a month in a hospital that was 3 hours away from Toledo. Im sorry but the Christmas program was not in my mind at all. My child was dying. I still don’t understand this inhumane system. Doing Ministry is much more important than taking care of people already in the ministry. This is why we have had such an unhealthy ministry.

Lately, in Toledo, some of our families are taking the time to really sit and listen to each other and intentionally build genuine relationships. ( of course you do have those people (traditionalists) who feel uncomfortable with this kind of ministry) This is not easy because we are finding out that the system has broken our trust for one another. Their is a lot of pain and brokenness and misunderstandings. How do we pick up all those broken pieces. Many traditional Ubfers feel more comfortable if we just move forward and keep doing “ministry”, but that’s not real gospel ministry. Real gospel ministry is going deeper into this mess and bringing healing so that we can move forward together. How can a broken body be effective? It cant, just like a house that is divided cannot stand.

As we seek God to help heal us and restore us and lead us, it is my hope that our Toledo ministry may change one relationship at a time from the inside out. That God may bring reconciliation, healing and unity not only amongst those in the ministry but also among those who left our Toledo ministry. Arent we all Brothers and Sisters in Christ, whether you are in or out of UBF? But reconciliation, healing and unity will not come unless we are willing to listen, to revisit those dark places of hurt and pain
.

The outcry of injustice must reach Heaven. I am convinced that happened sometime between 2009 to 2011 or so. Like AbNial, I’m convinced God is more than willing to bless and reform ubf ministry. But many of us sense that ubf leaders have pushed God too far. God is longsuffering, but will he not intervene at some point? I think so. ubf likely won’t avoid a massive split or some other big event.

There must be a source of light to illuminate what’s been going on. That has been happening with social media and various voices inside ubf.

There must be a cloud of witnesses who confirm the main problems. That happened way back in the 1970’s. The cloud just keeps getting bigger.

There must be people with decisive actions based on the Holy Spirit’s leading. That has been happening with more and more courage lately. More and more people in ubf are starting to listen to the Spirit. At the moment the Spirit seems to have been telling them to leave, but maybe there are other actions going on.

But still the main catalyst is missing… ubf directors who repent.

Look at 2 Corinthians 3:10! “For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory.”

Does ubf have a certain glory becuase of imitating the OT ministries? No! Not in comparison to the surpassing glory of the NT ministries! If ubf people really are seeking glory, then they should pay attention to the gospel. The gospel is much more than atonement. The gospel includes the gospel of the glory of Christ. That is good news.

So for Christ-followers, trying to emulate the OT minsitry of the priesthood or the leadership ministry of Moses/Joshua, is actually a ministry that brings death and condemnation. In other words, don’t do it. Emulate Christ and the NT ministries!

LOL. But seriously, this speaks to the ministry of reconciliation, joshua. I remember always hearing only about two types of ministry in ubf: ministry of God’s word and ministry of prayer. Those are valid and necessary for a healthy ministry. But if all you have is individuals running around reading the bible and praying, you’ve got a wounding machine and your ministry will likely be accused of being a cult, no matter how well you know the bible or how many times you pray.

And that is precisely why Christ-followers need to find the other ministries that the bible speaks of. Most importantly, the ministry of reconciliation must be included, i.e. 2 Corinthians 5:10-19.

If a church does not have such a ministry as normal and primary, I would say it is not a Christian church. Division does occur at times, but to consider division a natural part of the ministry means you are living in denial and most likely in a fantasy world where you don’t see the human beings around you.

I think I’m a little bit more optimistic than your reflection. But I agree that barring any supernatural intervention, a generation needs to pass before these 4 points can be really implemented.

If any UBFers disagree, then please prove me wrong. And then invite me to your Bible conference!

1) To release permanent life long shepherd sheep relationships is absolutely mandatory but is really really hard, if not humanly impossible. That’s why Pharaoh went after the Israelite slaves to enslave them again after releasing them. Some senior UBF leaders are so comfortable to have minions under them that it is humanly impossible for them to “release their sheep/slaves” barring a miraculous work of the Spirit.

2) In principle we absolutely need a body of accountable leaders. But unfortunately most body of elders/leaders are of the same mindset, while those with a differing perspective are not welcomed or included in this “governing body.”

3) Limited term for missionaries YES. But they don’t have to go back to Korea. They can stay in their mission field, but they MUST take a back seat (yeah right!) and allow indigenous leaders to truly lead without them imposing themselves (yeah right!)

4) Absolutely need outside sources. We have not done this in 50 years with any consistency or regularity. Even today, this is adamantly resisted by some. Why? Some senior leaders want to be the top dog, and not some outside advisor.

“Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies…”

Yes, joshua, that is the path forward that leads to life. It is the gospel way. It is the way of Jesus. By losing your life for Jesus and the gospel, you find it. If ubf people want to be preserved in history in a positive light, they need to let ubf die.

In my view:

1) Release the bonds of permanent, life-long shepherd-sheep relationships.

2) Replace entrenched leaders with bodies of elders purposefully chosen to get out from under the narrow focus of preserving UBF heritage.

3) Establish a limited term for missionaries (5-10 years etc.) after which they return back to their home country. In other words, separate the office of pastor and missionary.

4) Recruit outside sources for help in pastoral training, church discipline, missionary training (not in a UBF sense of the term, but legitimate training for Christian ministry), family ministry, marriage ministry, children, etc.

In other words, stop being UBF and be something else, just like you said.

Someone said we live in an analog world, not a binary one. I really really wanted to believe the binary wordlview ubf gave me. But it falls apart. Human beings are far more complicated than “in” or “out”.

Some of your points remind me of a document I found where a Korean reviewed several Korean missions groups, including ubf. He correctly points out both the positive and the negative. And the constructive criticism this Korean man came up with confirmed everything I ever experienced in ubf. Because those things were never addressed in a meaningful way or any way at all in most cases, ubf continues to split off and divide. The author notes that this is a common theme in all Korean churches. They normallly just split after about 5 years, rather than address the issues of the division.

ubf might keep asking “what can we do?” But in reality it is not so difficult. Just listen to your critics and address them.

I’m preparing an article to share here where I review the Korean report about Korean missions groups.

Here is a medical missions report from Uganda :http://ubf.org/?q=node/158. Great, sacrificial work, of a medical nature, was performed there. But the last sentence of the report mentions ‘campus discipleship ministry’. What? How does that even apply here when the context of the report is medical missions? This same repetition of the ‘core values’ is what will continue to stifle people’s spiritual growth in UBF.

You said, “We need people to start to think for themselves”. If this happens, UBF as we know it, as the missionaries know it, would cease to exist; it would be transformed into something uncanny. Many, many critical thinkers have left the ministry because they are not willing to be stifled by UBF’s ideology. How can we create an environment where freedom can flourish?

I’d say not “keep” but “discover”.

Good points. Regarding #2, I’d say that I agree with you, but in my view, the problem is far worse than you say. The problem as you state it is that they hold the premise that the entire family must participate in UBF mission. If only that were case! In reality, the UBF mission is the premise for the entire family. The family doesn’t have any other identity or connection other than UBF mission, and the UBF mission takes precedence over the family. Like a recent quote from Ben, his initial idea was that if he didn’t like his wife, it didn’t matter; he would just sleep in a different bed and then serve together in the morning. I bet there are lots of families in UBF who do just that. And they’re praised for being an “exemplary” house church.

And regarding children, not only are they expected to participate, but when they are young, the parents are often expected to neglect them (sometimes to an extreme, illegal degree) for the interests of UBF mission. (Especially in small ministries with few human resources.) Many families must take on staggering financial stresses for the sake of UBF mission.

“…they dedicate themselves to christ, one another…” Uh, ya, I was taught that dedication to each other is actually a bad thing. Rather, I was repeatedly told that I must devote my wife and children to God in order to serve campus ministry. In a variety of ways, I was indirectly prevented from being devoted to my wife properly. We were discouraged from sharing our personal testimonies with other, we were discouraged from telling the other what our respective Bible teachers told us, we were often prevented from taking outings together, we were “tested” to see if we would be more loyal to our Bible teacher or our spouse. Even the timing and frequency of our physical intimacy was attempted to be controlled.

“Glorifying God through the family unit is more important than keeping the same mission” — Amen. And the family unit should be clearly understood: husband, wife, and Jesus. NO ONE ELSE! No intrusive Bible teachers or chapter directors or anyone else. Well meaning or not.

1) They began their mission lives with the premise that everyone in the congregation should be engaged in one mission, campus evangelism through the UBF ministry. If they are not directly involved in teaching and preaching then they can serve in a supportive role. If you want to serve or support in another type of ministry, there is no place for the person. With this premise then people who attend the church are a not important in fulfilling the mission. It doesn’t matter if they go or stay. Maybe some may secretly or not so secretly hope they would leave. Some leaders may attempt to disciple them, with the hopes that they may conform, one day to the mission of the church. They may hold this hope for years. But there is one goal, mature spiritually and support the UBF mission.

2) The real premise should be held onto is that that not everyone is called to serve the same mission. The church must be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and nurture the works that the Spirit is trying to manifest in their midst. It may not be what you expect either. But a church must begin with the premise that not all people will called to the same mission and that all legitimate expressions of faith must be supported and nurtured in the church.

Many families marry with the idea and the hope that they can be a house church. They dedicate themselves to Christ, one another, but also to the mission of UBF. They expect their children to be dedicated to the church. This causes many problems, especially when all members of the family do not want to participate in the mission of UBF. Starting out with this premise will hinder relationships with all the family members eventually. The new premise should be to find out how God wants to work through your family. Glorifying God through the family unit is more important than keeping the same mission. We need to find out how this is possible. And being silent is not the proper reaction to this.

3) The third premise is that if you keep doing what you are doing then God will bless you. This is not true. We see the extreme results of this kind of thinking in the Amish communities. Such thinking makes Christian congregations irrelevant and unable to engage the greater community. Many UBF people don’t want things to change. They want to keep Saturday group study, the same Sunday Service, the same suit and ties (even though students, and even professors don’t wear them), the same testimony sharing, the same leaders without any changes, the same form and function of ministry. Unchecked this will continue on for another 50 years. How far are we going to drift and become irrelevant to the culture? The results of operating in this premise is that we will attempt to force others to conform to the premise and if one does not then they must change or leave. This is very human reaction to differences and causes so many problems.

The new premise must be we need to keep the core of the gospel and make changes to be more relevant to the new culture. We need to be instep with the spirit. We must be sensitive to the changes that are going on around us.

“The question is, in our current UBF context, how?”

I’m glad to hear you ask “how?”. That is more fundamental than “what?”. But ubf will get nowhere until you ask the question “Why?”

ubfers need to starting asking Why should anyone stay here? Why should ubf exist at all? Why should God not destroy ubf? Why do we have our ministry?

People do not buy from your for what you sell… they buy for why you sell it. ubf needs to ask yourselves, Why do we believe what we believe?

This is most absurd in my opinion. Ironically, I used to use these words below to defend ubf back in 2004…until Chris helped me see my own stupidity :)

“For the last two years our ministry experienced a painful division. Someone said, “Well, the time is changed. We have been persecuted a lot. Now let us change our ministry as one which serves the same common functions of the church.” Others said, “We must maintain our specific mission, spirit and way of working in UBF to the end.” To be the same or to be different: that is the question. But we know the conclusion very well. Until now, God led us to live different lives from that of the world. Because of this confidence that we are different people, we were willing to dedicate our youth to God and endure all kinds of hardships. If the UBF ancestors and we wanted to be the same with worldly people, why did we rejoice in all kinds of sufferings? The spiritual heritage God had given to the UBF ministry is, in one word, “different lives.” No matter how difficult it may have been and how many persecutions we had to endure, we must maintain this spiritual heritage God had given to us through the UBF ancestors of faith.”

So no, ubf will NOT listen. It is a waste of time to try to get ubf chapter directors to listen. We need to help young people in ubf start to think for themselves, be empowered to make their own decisions and realize the missionaries have no actual control over their lives except the control you let them have.

But I think that many will attest that some missionaries are clueless that they are not loving, because they have embraced the authoritarian hierarchy unquestioningly as being biblical. They might really think they are pleasing God and loving you by squezing you to conform to the UBF system.

Thus, a continuous ongoing dialogue needs to happen, to counteract predictable abusive behavioral patterns that have become the norm of “shepherding” for 50 years.

In effect all sins are sins of wanting control. Younger brother sins desire control over God to get what they want. But older brother sins desire control not only over God but also over the younger brother.

That’s why in the Bible the sins of older brothers (religious leaders and Pharisees) are worse than the sins of younger brothers (tax collectors and prostitutes).

I concur that this is one of the core problmes of UBF. To be honest, before the inception of ubfriends, I could not understand the plight of those who had left UBF. It is still a complex phenomenon in and of itself, but I think what most have experienced is their shepherd’s desire to control them rather than allowing the Spirit to guide them.

My eyes were opened with the situation earlier this year at our chapter. On the one hand, the opposing party wanted to vehemently block your efforts to build bridges with another ministry. Then they said to me that, ‘Dr. Ben is free to do whatever he wants.’ This message was so discordant than what you were met with at the joint meeting. I was stunned by this statement because it revealed such deep-seated disingenuous. And to this day, they are still oblivious to the fact that there is a major rift between the two ministries. It’s the same double message that many bible students receive, “You are free to do whatever we want you to do.”

I’m beginning to realize that the sins of control, manipulation, deceit and the like are much more insidious, egregious, disgusting and hideous than what are deemed as common Christian sins, e.g., lust, anger, laziness, etc. We are all of course susceptible and guilty of committing these sins, but as a church we must make it a priority to mitigate these. The question is, in our current UBF context, how?