The name “truth and reconciliation committee” would be already better. But still – we already discussed this – trying to solve this problem in the old ways (“behind closed doors”, “top down” and “never mind, we think for you”) will not do in this case. It must be a broad discussion in all chapters.

I will say what I have been saying which is that reconciliation is at the heart of God and of the Bible. Therefore seeking reconciliation would be far more important than “going fishing and feeding new sheep.” If reconciliation is weak then the health of the church is weak, with suboptimal trust, friendship, partnership, etc. Any new people brought to church, would be to a church whose health is weak and dysfunctional.

It’s like a family with a few bad kids because of dysfunctional parents. Instead of the parents dealing with their own issues, they decide to have more kids to replace the old bad kids.

Someday hopefully all of UBF may appreciate this very practical and relevant quote by Stott.

“Equal members of God’s household” — by that I mean that leaders should not pretend that they are not above exUBFers, and they shouldn’t assume any sort of spiritual superiority but enter into a reconciliation process humbly, contritely, and with poverty of spirit.

“should declare right verses wrong” — this part is absolutely necessary. It actually comes before reconciliation. Truly, it should be a “Truth and Reconciliation Committee”. The truth phase identifies what happened (the truth; no spin) so that true repentance and reconciliation can occur. In my opinion, I think such an honest self-examination is the more unlikely thing to occur in UBF, more unlikely than real reconciliation. UBFers love to feign ignorance and pretend that they are innocent of others’ mistakes, when it is the same unbiblical ideology and works-righteousness system underneath everything. It is uncharacteristic to honestly examine the ministry and its fruit in an unbiased way, except when they want to glorify it.

I simply can not agree with “equal members of God’s family”. And I am sure that a third party should “declare right versus wrong” otherwise what kind of reconciliation would it be: between right and wrong? Are right and wrong “equal members of God’s family”? Who is right in the big bear’s case, Sibbolet’s, Chris’s, AbNial’s, your, mine, etc? Are we just scattered wrong parties? Or are we united “thanks’ to a common wrong party of ubf?

About the changes or illusion, I think that ubf leaders don’t care even about an illusion. But thank God I see real change in my life and in the lives of all who left ubf (even through their comments here).

1) It is possible for UBF chapters to change, but I have not seen evidence from the UBF administration of a policy that enforces change. Furthermore, when has a chapter director been told that he is no longer a director because of abuses? I once suggested to a missionary who had desire to pioneer that such a director should lose his title, role and status. I was met with disagreement and hostility.

2) Problems do not seem to be openly discussed in front of juniors unless they are the problem – something is wrong with their growth and development.

3) In relation to UBF I would describe it like this:
The course of activity runs in an annual cycle which repeats forever.
a) Semester begins – intense activities and planning for recruitment
b) Step up the student testimony meetings for all potential newcomers
c) Host Bible Academies or Bible Café’s (maybe once a month in some chapters)
d) Christmas Worship Service
e) Winter Semester resumes a second push for new recruitment
f) Student testimony meetings and other activities remain steady
g) Easter Conference or Retreat
h) Closing year, usually witnesses a decline in campus activity
i) Summer preparation for International, National or Local conferences

Now, this omits that leaders primarily focus on the growing and established students who may take on new responsibilities at any time during this cycle. I would also say that in many cases people are not told to forgive and forget in UBF. They are told to repent of unforgiveness and reminded that it is strictly their problem, in their heart. It is a very different use of language. As for kicking out, I know it happens, but usually most chapters will just leave the decision up to the person (people) and praise them if they stay (and conform) or silently criticize them if they leave (false mourning/grieving).

4) Exactly like SL, it would appear that no one carries on his methods in way of tradition and heritage. (sarcasm) Ditto.

5,6) Past tense and covering up. Most often, if someone holds onto a feeling for a long time everyone plays dumb. Apparently, they have been able to move along in life, but something is holding you back. It would not be uncommon for UBFers to accuse the person who raised a past incident of being demon possessed. That being said, it has been possible for even me to discuss past matters with some leaders, but no real conclusion ends up getting made – afterall it is the past.

7) Forgiveness is a failsafe, because, “Who can argue with forgiveness?” Of course relationships are not mended. In fact, most times I wager that those who stay in UBF “agree to disagree” and demonstrate loyalty in that way. It is insincere and again covers up the real issue at hand.

To wrap up, I would argue that real change is happening in bigger chapters where there are so many personalities. I would follow that up by also emphasizing how many years that chapter has been in operation. If it is a short time, so much depends upon the director. However, how do you monitor the small chapters? I have heard terrible things about small chapters. In fact some of the examples that I have learned about do not even resemble the UBF that I know. I won’t even begin to discuss Christianity and the Bible. Lastly, this is certainly not exhaustive commentary on my part, just some things that come to mind at the moment.

I am very sorry to hear that reconciliation with your Kyiv UBF chapter has not happened with you.

For what it is worth, UBF in Chicago has started what I proposed as a “Reconciliation Committee.” This is obviously in its very rudimentary stages while we have countless broken relationships in countless countries and chapters where there is UBF.

I am personally very serious about this. I have shared with some that reconciliation in UBF is far far more important than just “going fishing to fish new sheep,” while ignoring past unresolved and unaddressed painful issues.

Personally I hope that UBF’s attempts at reconciliation will be a sincere, genuine and real attempt (albeit imperfect), and not be just an illusion of change or an illusion of reconciliation. If I have any say in this at all, I will do my best to make sure that it is not an illusion.

I welcome all proposals and suggestions as to how we may even begin to proceed with the reconciliation process with all those who have experienced wounds, trauma, abuses and negative experiences in UBF.