Basically, Germany scored a 35. The US scored a 40, but South Korea scored a 60. In South Korea, the difference between authority and subordinates is quite large. (This is also clear from the Korean language, which is also hierarchical, but I don’t know Korean, I’ve just read about it.) I think in UBF, culture is one of the biggest influences and that is why it stays a predominantly Korean organization. By the way, the aforementioned website is interesting because it also compares different countries scores on individualism, masculinity, uncertainty avoidance index and long-term orientation.

“Perhaps the first big crack in my blind heart was when BrianK publicly apologized for a certain mostly-illegal act. It began the logical reasoning that my own complicit quietness had in fact, likely, allowed many young people in our ministry to be belittled/embarassed, to establish standards of reflection sharing/Biblestudy and marriage by faith in our ministry which were used to punish/shun others, and allowed me to overlook completely irrational behavior since I was the favorite and supported in so many ways.” – See more at: http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/06/13/lebron-james-takes-responsibility/#comment-14480

I too was a favorite. In Europe such favorites are called “hope carriers”. I believe Chris and AbNial here were also such favorites at one time.

Stop and think about that…where are most of the darlings of ubf now? JoeS? BenT? TrentP? BrianK? JoshuaB? ChrisZ? AbNial? and the list goes on and on of men and women who were once ubf favorites.

Such favoritism among ubf missionaries creates a highly unstable environment in my experience at Toledo ubf. The “favorites” are used as Goebbels-like defenders of the ubf system because we didn’t personally experience the problems other non-favorites were speaking up about.

Just to add more clarity to my illegal actions… I wrote the article called “My Confession“, regarding my role in the infamous 1990 James Kim event.

I should have been in jail because breaking-and-entering is illegal in the US. You cannot just go into someone’s house (even with a key) without their permission. Our constitution protects the property and possessions of our citizens. Punishment is a fine and/or jail time, at least in the state of Ohio.

Oh wait, but I was “being a blessing” and “helping out” the late James Kim’s family…

Now I’m trying to figure out how to approach situations, as I’m not very confrontational, and in addition, have been wildly misunderstood at times. It is not an easy minefield to cross.

Those who grew up in such a culture have NO IDEA how the gospel is being butchered by such behavior. It really causes some UBF people to behave as though they fear the human leader more than God (Prov 29:25). This is unbearably painful to observe, as you had indicated.

I saw and ignored inconsistencies for over 2 decades. Worse yet, I felt (or was made to feel) that it was NOT up to me to address the inconsistencies, since the implicit subliminal understanding was that it was up to the “top brass,” the servants of God, to address issues and effect changes.

My proposal, suggestion and recommendation to anyone who would listen is simply this: Whatever inconsistency is observed, address it. Every person has the same God-given right to address any issue, problem or inconsistency in the church that is observed.

Sorry for coming off as though I am giving an imperative directive. It is one of my PTSD reactions after functioning according to “just obey, don’t question” for several decades.

Part of the beauty of Christian ministry is to see the outpouring of love, each in their own uniqueness, when people who are in Christ welcome one another. I remember going to a family who left our ministry, and feeling so welcome, so comfortable, because they simply loved Christ and loved my family, and welcomed us in the best way they knew, with real joy.

Somehow I don’t think people in Joppa and so on acted like this to Peter.

Riches in the kingdom of heaven anyone? God bless this man, though I do not understand many things about him, I have a high regard for anyone who can take responsibility.

I actually heard a wonderful message once (probably you all did to?) at a UBF conference where one noted UBF PhD Shepherd defined repentance as “Taking responsibility for your actions.” This is a truth that will hold up.

The Bible is about responsibility in our rlationship with God and others. Perhaps the first big crack in my blind heart was when BrianK publicly apologized for a certain mostly-illegal act. It began the logical reasoning that my own complicit quietness had in fact, likely, allowed many young people in our ministry to be belittled/embarassed, to establish standards of reflection sharing/Biblestudy and marriage by faith in our ministry which were used to punish/shun others, and allowed me to overlook completely irrational behavior since I was the favorite and supported in so many ways.

I used to really think I wanted to lead (maybe someday I can somewhere, I do enjoy leading) but the inconsistencies I see, I cannot ignore and move forward.

Anyhow the Bible says, even if we know someone is sinning and don’t bring it up to them, we are joining in the sin.

Correct. But the fire of the gospel has been lit at the bottom level. If the topmost level was also lit with gospel fire, would not the resistance be overcome?

In reality, a “Robert Irvine” style leader would need to be put in charge.

Probably, only some readers on UBFriends will find this hilarious.

How exciting would it be for Joe or Ben to be the new ubf GD! Much work would need to be done. But how much of a breathe of fresh air would that be for all of us!!

Did Beka’s family experience anything remotely like this from ubf leadership? Did anyone in the Yekaterinburg ubf chapter feel anything like this? Did any of the half of Toledo ubf leaders see anything like this? Did any of the single family ubf chapters scattered around the world ever find anything like this from the ubf echelon?

I hope someone comments here to prove me wrong… but wouldn’t ubf ministry change overnight if say, Ben Toh was General Director?

10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. 12 So even though I wrote to you, it was neither on account of the one who did the wrong nor on account of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. 13 By all this we are encouraged.

Because he changed, there is hope that people can change, however unlikely that might seem.

“In Northeast Ohio, nothing is given. Everything is earned. You work for what you have. I’m ready to accept the challenge. I’m coming home.”

Lebron goes home

You chapter director was clearly a bit extreme. Our director was more friendly and subtle. He even gave the impression to be your friend. But then out of a sudden he could also shout or do things like cancel you marriage. He knew very well that he needed to execute such blowoffs only rarely, and that he could maintain his authority more efficiently when appearing friendly. I never heared him saying things like “You swept the floor in a wrong way!” But on the other hand I also never saw him sweeping the floor like nearly everybody else did. Korean directors will not do such things because they believe they will lose authority if they do “lowly” things. Our director did not even type his own messages (he had several “secretaries” for typing), and let subordinate missionaries and shepherds do the lowly things like xerox copy his lectures and questionnaires every week, maintaining the copier which was always defect etc. Even though he knew these people were busy with university study, day jobs with long commute times, fishing and making 1:1 with sheep, all of which the director did not do, and even though he got a monthly salary from offering money, he delegated all lowly office and janitor work to others. Still he was called the servant of God, and this title was attributed somewhat exclusively to him in our chapter. It is obvious that Korean chapter directors do not understand at all what servanthood means, even though they talk so much about it. It is as if they never read John 13:5-17. But they are good in reframing their training, manipulation and commanding of people as “servantship”. So good that their followers buy it for many years and even are thankful for that.

There is always dissonance in native leaders (at least it was so in me). I had eyes and I saw that e.g. the director is not able at fishing at all and has not fished anyone for the 17 years. At the same time he rebukes everyone and is going to teach you everything. If you bring him even a message of Piper or McArthur it would be “weak and not ready yet” if it is not at least the 4th version. Also ubf life teaches you that in whatever way you do this or that you will be rebuked. So you can not understand and cannot be sure you did the right thing. And after some years of such ubf training you won’t hurry to do anything at all not to mention to take responsibility for that.

The tension grows very high at conference preparations. You have to spend 6 weeks or so of your vacation to do many things and to hear very many rebukes. I remember a CIS leaders conference in our city. 100% Koreans from CIS and 100 % Korean guests from all over the world came. (It is very strange that they are the leaders of CIS and in the world. The first CIS leaders conference in our city was in 1997 when I got married, the second one was 2004 and the same Koreans came as leaders)). A very long bus came up to the building of our center. Suddenly the director shouted at native shepherds that they are stupid and irresponsible because they didn’t take responsibility to go out and to say to the bus driver that he should take the bus up to the opposite side of the center. It was long ago but I remember the feeling, “dear leader, nobody is going to do this or that for you would rebuke us anyway, everybody fears to make the next step for surely it will be a ‘wrong’ one”. I worked very hard to serve that conference, the “leaders” smiled. But what was and is their attitude? It was and is, “Look, here is a “lowly junior”, a “stupid and irresponsible Russian””.

a real dialogue:

– “What’s your name?”
– “I am Vitaly, nice to meet you!”
– “And I am MR(!!).Park”

I guess that is what humility and taking responsibility does: You win!

Good answer: Yes I want to get well, and take full responsibility.

Bad answer: I am/we are not that sick. Others are more sick than I/we.

Worst answer: Refuse to answer.

May I illustrate an interesting point in the Bible? John 5 reveals a story and example that has always caused my attention to focus. Jn 5:5-6 read, “One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, ‘Do you want to get well?'”

This is one and I believe the only example where Jesus demands ownership of action in such a way. Usually, Jesus heals and is very graceful, creative. Often he instructs people to do something so they participate in the healing process. We know this man was depending on someone to do the work for him, that is clear in his answer, but it does not change the question that Jesus asked.

How would UBF (corporate) reply to Jesus’ question? If the answer was ‘yes’ what would inhibit UBF from taking 100% ownership for its sin?

The man wanted many others to carry him into the pool and to think of him first. Maybe UBF would claim that lack of faith and obedience in others is the cause for what has been happening for the past 50 year…

Some resolved the contradiction by saying that the only reason I was fruitful with many sheep was because SL attended and served my fellowship every week, and that all the sheep only came because of his good influence, prayer and faith.

Thank God for my wonderful brothers (and sisters) who know how to keep me humble, which is a very good thing, by making sure that I get no credit at all for having many sheep (which incidentally is biblically absolutely correct!).

Plus I can’t stand the Miami Heat. All I can say is that I loved watching the blowout! I hope there is another one tonight. I think Lebron is half the man that Manu Ginobili is.