Yes it seems to me that there are instances where it may be necessary for the health of the individuals and the family to be part of a larger community of believers. In fact, we should strive to be part of a larger community of believers whether we are in UBF or not. There are wonderful friendships to be had and insights to be shared. God is working around us in many ways.

The problem is that we have many reports of cases, starting from 1976, where he grossly and extremely overstepped his limits and became abusive and humiliating. Some of his “training methods” which he was proud of resembled physical or mental torture. It does not matter much that he did not “generally” do this to you or some others who are still in UBF. Of course he did not abuse everyone to the same amount. We all know that. I have become particularly sensitive to the argument “I personally did not experience what you’re talking about, so it’s not problem for me”. I hope you don’t think like that, but I have seen this attitude often enough and it always seems to shine through all defenses I am reading here, and it always makes me upset. In the church there should be no SEP” (Someone Else’s Problem) – if one member suffers, all suffer together.

The other problem is that SL not only practiced personal shepherding, but taught and prescribed this as a mandatory regulation for every member. You can’t be in UBF without having a shepherd. Now is the time where UBF must renounce this teaching, and that explicitly.

I don’t see UBF making much progress in overcoming either of these pitfalls. Do you?

The Church

1. God’s creation
2. Spiritual fact
3. Cross-culturally valid
4. Biblically understood and evaluated
5. Validity determined by spiritual qualities and fidelity to Scriptures
6. God’s agent of evangelism and reconciliation
7. Essential
8. Eternal
9. Divine revelation
10. Purpose to glorify God

Para-Church Structures
1. Man’s creation
2. Sociological fact
3. Culturally bound
4. Sociologically understood and evaluated
5. Validity determined by function in relation to mission of the Church
6. Man’s agents for evangelism and service
7. Expendable
8. Temporal and temporary
9. Human tradition
10. Purpose to serve the Church

How those to can go together? What would we have if combine them together? However seems like in history the examples of this combination could be found. I think that’s really interesting topic.

The things you indicated were sometimes issues in how some shepherding was done in the past within UBF and it still exists to some extent. It may vary some by UBF chapter.

SL did many things right and I can tell you from my personal experience that he generally respected my space and that I did not really fear him. He gave me some solid Biblical teaching as well. However, there were times when he stepped over the line.

The GD, the elders and some senior staff are praying about this and working to address these issues even now. Thank you for your advice on this subject.

The shepherding/disciping paradigm is sure to have problems. One must be led to faith through God’s word and the Bible, but that does not mean subverting that person’s life – as one over another. As the video Ben just posted reflects that good intentions can not please God and do nothing for building a relationship with Jesus. Only letting the self trust in God and embracing that unique and imperfect person will help to establish anyone in faith. Discipling does not allow for God’s time, nor does it allow anyone to truly be unique. It rather forces time afforded by the goal set by the leader. What is your 2, 5, 15 year plan anyone?

“Both of those passages I quoted were addressed to elders in the church.”

Exactly! And this is not coincidental, but because the words “shepherds” and “elders” are actually synonyms in the Bible (see the book “Biblical shepherding” by Alexander Strauch). In UBF however, a shepherd is something different from an elder (traditionally, most UBF chapters did not even have elders). According to the Bible, the shepherds should always watch together over the whole flock. This avoids that one single shepherd takes credit for “raising” one sheep. In 1Cor 3:4 Paul makes it very clear that we should not employ such “personal shepherding”. All the shepherds together, not a single one, help the sheep, and even then, the credit must go to God alone (1 Cor 3:6-7).

Unfortunately, the shepherding/discipling paradigm entails some more elements which are simply wrong, e.g. the idea that sheep need a human “discipler” who “raises” them like parents raise children, and “trains” them like a drill sergeant, even in humiliating ways in order to make them more humble and obedient. All these things must clearly be named as wrong, and it must be admitted that UBF, and first and foremost SL, favored and employed all these teachings. Unless we are able and willing to clearly name and frame what is wrong, how can we have meaningful and lasting change?

Both of those passages I quoted were addressed to elders in the church. And, yes, it seems that one should have a pastoral calling to help others from their own volition (“because you are willing”) in Christ. The expression of “pure love” you mentioned below is beautiful and is exactly my take on the motivation behind what we do / who we are. Without that, we are a resounding gong, a clanging symbol or worse.

I see us as a church that serves communities. One of our strong points has been and is campus ministry but it is not exclusively that. Moreover, while 1:1 Bible study is a really excellent way to help people, some of us are more called to that than others. I am very thankful for people who use their God-given talents in other ways to build up the church as well. I feel very fortunate that I came to Christ and have been blessed not only through a Bible teacher but also through the love, service, prayers and simple friendships of people who might not be recognized as great Bible teachers.

“…living out his grace in many different ways.” Thank you, we have failed to do that too many times but I hope we can do better to live out his grace.

“…please let’s have a discussion why you think UBF should be so different and the only movement where this paradigm should not lead to spiritual abuse?”

I never said that I thought UBF is or should be related to the “paradigm” of shepherding as you’ve defined it. Like you, I think that the kind of “shepherding movement” whereby one person fully trusts and obeys another is not clearly Biblical. If we use the word “shepherd” it should be in the context meant for people in the church (Acts 20:28, 1 Peter 5:2). The attributes of that kind of shepherding have been discussed by Ben Toh (and others) accurately on numerous occasions. That kind of shepherding includes compassion, prayer, Biblical advice and being an example for others. It excludes authoritarianism of all kinds including the kind rooted in Korean Confucianism.

It is so true that people who confess Christ in this world face persecution and misunderstanding. It is because our Lord was rejected himself (John 15:20) and we follow in his footsteps. Many Korean missionaries have suffered misunderstanding because of their faith in Christ, love for God’s sheep and even from language and culture issues. All of us are wounded and hurt in this process as well, but not nearly as much as Jesus was for all of us. Some of the hurt experienced by those of us who have tried to help others in Christ may be “Jesus’ suffering” but some of it also is because of our own sin when we “sit on the throne of God.” It is hard for us sometimes to honestly and humbly differentiate between the two while trying to help others. Those of us in ministry may find it very difficult to deal with criticism due to our own mistakes and sins in the process of trying to help someone because we think we have the best of intentions. This has been true of many people in our regrettably rich Christian history of fighting and violence but UBF has definitely has its own unique manifestation of it.

Actually it may be that the people who have made the most “mistakes” in our ministry are in fact quite wounded people themselves. Their wounds have in turn produced wounds in others. Those folks (including me) need healing through confession of sin and a fresh acceptance of his grace in Christ (1 John 1:9). Also if we are serious about our witness for Christ, we can extend grace to those who may have something against us. Then hopefully a cycle of Christ’s healing can happen rather than a never-ending cycle of wounding and criticism. Ultimately we can all come to Christ knowing that “by his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:4-6).

“Most of sins we have committed are from ignorance. Who intended to harm their sheep?”

Yes, you are correct. However, once a ubfer displays disloyalty of any kind, what happens? In most of our cases, the real abuse begins at the sign of disloyalty.

Was I wounded during my time in ubf? Not really. But the mind-numbing abuse and wolf-like nature of ubf directors is revealed in stunning detail during and after leaving.

Your questions are truly excellent! “Don’t you think we should hold classes that can teach humanity, biblical ethics, ministerial ethics and basic counseling skills for those who prepare themselves as shepherds? Or shouldn’t we make personal shepherd or ministerial ethic codes as a qualification of a shepherd or minster, so that we can minimize the possible mishaps?”

Thanks again.

“No preacher by virtue of his calling has any authority.”

Listening to this with tears upon tears and shouting AMEN at the top of my lungs! I am so glad my family found a church with a pastor team who embodies what JM is saying here. JM nails it this time.

Yes you point out an important contradiction that needs addressed. I contend that it is so wrong to think of such things as your “cross”. Doing so led me to the brink of depression. Why? Because my world became a macabre death march! All things became a gruesome cross and my joy and life and hope were sapped out of me.

If you feel like that, you are NOT taking up your cross, and I doubt you are following Jesus.

I even went so far as to start thinking my wife was my cross, my children were my cross and my job was my cross… UGH! “Happy Valentine’s Day honey! You are my cross to bear!” :(

That is not proper healthy thinking, and it certainly is not Christ-like thinking. We need to re-think these things because the Shepherding Movement got it all wrong and twisted:

What does it mean to take up your cross?
Why is Jesus’ yoke easy and light?
What does it mean to deny yourself?
Why are Christ-followers not bloody self-butchers?
What does it mean to repent?
How can I see my self in a healthy way?
How can I see my wife and family in a healthy way?

His definition? He thinks it means shape up your will through training. He said you cannot do God’s will until your will is shaped up. The prooftext was of course 2 Timothy 2:15. And almost no ubf person I’ve talked to can articulate the gospel or taking up one’s cross or self-denial or repentance or doing God’s will WITHOUT mentioning ubf activity. They are SO bound to ubf heritage that they cannot speak as normal Christ-followers. Taking up your cross, in the ubf context always leads through a road of contradictions back to ubf campus mission.

I can rip this “theology” to shreds, but I’ll just say here briefly that such thinking is a lie coming from the devil meant to enslave us. It is not the truth of God from the Holy Spirit meant to liberate us.

The gospel of Jesus so needs to be preached to ubf leaders.

I wish it were not so, but yes that is the new slogan for ubf. It has been mentioned to the most senior leaders in ubf already. Thank God for many Daniels among us.

Nice summary of exactly my observations and experience. I always felt uncomfortable having my true identity become “molded” and “shaped” into some facade that I felt I had to carry around like a costume.

Now I burned that costume. And as you say below, I just do the opposite of what ubf taught me and I’m much happier and healthy. Maybe we need an article series about “What does it mean to be healthy?”

In my part of ubf, in the last few years of my time there, the word “healthy” took on a strange new meaning. Healthy meant overweight. If someone in Toledo told you “You look healthy these days…” It came to mean “You are gaining a lot of weight and need exercise training.”

This was an inside joke among some of us leaders. I am ashamed that I never called this out when I was there…

Now I know what to do: the same thing as before, just the opposite.

Oh yeah, I read UBFriends comments before preaching to relax myself!

Same here, we had to make it on our own. The missionaries never bothered for such things. Similarly, we have the nice tradition in Germany of having an Advent wreath before Christmas. If we had not cared to make one, the misisonaries never thought about such things. For the new students it was always strange to come in Christmas time, and not finding any Christmas decoration like everywhere else. Regarding the local traditions, I can somehow understand that the Koreans ignored them (though missionaries always should try to show more interest and respect for local traditions), but I never understood why they also ignored the cross. Actually Koreans apart from UBF like the cross symbol; I heared in Seoul there are many crosses, even illuminated in the night. It probably had to do with Samuel Lee’s general aversion against anything reminding of traditional churches.

So one minute it is acceptable to mention them as a cross, but the next minute you are scolded for actually using your limited and valuable time to carry out these basic things. Of course the mandatory cross is mission and that is always acceptable conversation.

Anyway, back to Jesus’ cross and what that really means!!

Today we had a Bible study at the Baptist church. Among other things the pastor said, “Nobody should come to a local church because he likes the pastor or some people there. What if our church teaches stange things in, say, three years?! Today the church is good tomorrow it may appear to become bad. You should be independant believers who have personal faith and personal relationship with God”. (Compare it with marry-ubf-forever teaching)

And I liked watching a talk with John MacArthur. Please watch the first 7 minutes. I think it is very relative to the article and even to the site. And pay attention to the way they talk. Could you imagine some of ubf leaders talk this way publicly? SB? RW? JJ? It seems that fear of losing face wouldn’t allow that, especially when someone represents a cult-like organization. (I heard that they had some public talk in Hong Kong and ubf representatives chose to deny the ubf reality especially MbF)

I am thankful that the new center building in Toledo does have a large cross in the proper place: high and centered and visible. It was made by one of my friends and his dad. I hope no ubf missionary ever takes down that cross in Toledo.

Speaking of the cross… we need an article to discuss the cross of Jesus and what it means to take up your cross. How many of us thought that taking up your cross meant “sitting on folding chairs 10 hours a week for ubf meetings?” That is the essence of ubf’s teaching on self-denial and taking up your cross. Those teachings are at the heart of ubf theology problems.

@Chris: Hearing your story about the cross being removed by ubf missionaries infuriates me. But of course, we did the same things here in the US. We had to push just to get a cross displayed for Easter. I also felt ashamed when I saw our ubf logo taped on top of a cross that was on one of the podiums. Another conference I helped pick out the retreat center here in Michigan. I chose a Christian retreat center complete with a beautiful sanctuary. How wonderful it would be, I thought, to listen to messages about Easter in this beautiful sanctuary. But no! We were directed by ubf missionaries to use the somewhat dingy auditorium. The way the Koreans looked at the beautiful sanctuary in disgust made me feel like the sanctuary was evil or something. At the time, my eyes were not fully open and so I believed them.

@big bear: I’m so encouraged by your sharing. You have a whopper of a story to tell. Maybe we could publish something you submit as an article? Also I am moved to respond to something you wrote: “as a Christian you should feel welcomed and accepted in any church because we are all one…”

You are correct. The problem is that the ubf mindset tries to be a peacekeeper only within the walls of ubf. We are one, yes, but to the ubf people this means only for ubfers. They cannot fathom that being one means the one, holy, catholic, apostolic Church-the Body and the Bride of Christ universal.

So as we study passages like the Beattitudes, we should hear Jesus calling us to be peacemakers who take active roles in making peace and representing Jesus to all human beings. Keeping the peace is not the same as making peace. Those who just want to keep the peace and get back to ubf ministry are using Christian code words that send the message of “shut up and leave us alone.”

But according to Jesus, those who make peace, living out the peace of God with Jesus inside them, those people are blessed. Christ-followers are called to bring peace, not keep peace.

This reminds me of another experience as UBF conference servant I can never forget because it was so symbolic. We had our conferences in a Christian recreation home that had a hall where we met for listening to the messages. The hall had nice decoration on the back side and a simple but prominent wooden cross on the front. It also had a speaker pulpit. I think the pulpit was always replaced by our own special pulpit, but the most important thing for missionaries was to make sure to put it on a pedestal so that the speaker would always stand higher than the audience. Not sure any more if we also had UBF logos on our pulpit, but I remember having seen them on UBF pulpits, so I know what you mean. Like the hall in our center, the hall in the recreation home was small enough so that no pedestal and no amplifier was necessary, but we always had them at the conference and in our center. They made sure that we never had a familiar atmosphere, looking each other in the eyes and speaking freely, but that the atmosphere was always artificial where the messager could speak from above with a loud voice. The pulpit was even mandatory when sharing your early morning daily bread testimony. The mode of communication was always one-way.

The other first thing the missionaries always did was to take down the wooden cross from the front wall and put it in the broom closet. Then the conference slogan was pasted on the wall in big letters, usually an imperative like “You Shall be a Blessing” (meaning “You shall become a UBF shepherd”). The director of the recreation home looked bewildered at this, but the missionaries didn’t really care about what “outsiders” think or say anyway; home directors or janitors had no chance but let them have their way, such people were never respected.

Personally I was always bothered when I saw the missionaries taking down the cross and putting it in the broom closet before the conference. It was particularly embarassing when they let everybody sing “I’ll cherish the old rugged cross” while in reality the cross was standing in the broom closet behind us. So one conference I volunteered to be the “conference title decoration servant”. I made sure to be the first to arrive at the conference place, so I could paste the conference title on the wall while leaving the cross at its place. I think another young “German shepherd” helped me, and we were pleased with the result. We thought that the title and the cross harmonized very well. Then we had other things to do so we left the room. You can imagine my amazed looked when I came back to the hall for the first message that evening, and noticed that the cross had been taken down again by a Korean missionary, and the title rearranged to stand alone one the wall. Of course you can tell me about your experience that Korean missionaries accept the opinion of native coworkers, and cherish the old rugged cross. But I made my own experiences.

(In our own center we did not have a cross for many years. After we native members pushed to have one, they allowed us to put one on the side wall. It was the only decoration apart from that picture of the broad and narrow path, where the narrow path was interpreted as coworking in UBF and the broad path as everything else.)

mene mene tekel upharsin (numbered, numbered, weighed, & divisions)
when I hear of families devastated by “God’s people” who are supposed to help them, I remember the writing on the wall in book of Daniel

words to the wise,
God has power to take kingdoms away & divide up: Babylonians were using God’s temple goblets (precious children) for drunken (self-indulgent) praise of gods (idolatry); that very night the kingdom ended & Medes/Persians each took their share; Let’s repent of any part lest more division come

when people become experts at elevating themselves, thankfulness becomes dangerous (tool of manipulation): then thanks can only/must only go to God, so help me Jesus. Amen
Hallelujah!

parents raise kids not for payback but for payforward to society, which helps all

we’re indebted to God Alone (All owe everything to Him); He is pleased when we pass on His blessing to others, not expecting Anything back from them directly

gc, you raise something that needs highlighted: “Who is your Bible teacher or shepherd?” If there is any tell-tale sign that ubf is a cult, it is this question.

Can you hang around ubf WITHOUT a shepherd? No. ubf is a private, closed-membership church. You cannot just walk off the street and start attending.

If you answer that question with “No one.” be prepared for some training. You’ll be asked to submit to 1:1 or leave.

And God help you if you answer “Who is your bible teacher?” with “Jesus my Lord and Savior!”. That answer will earn you some severe rebukes! You simply must obey a human shepherd to be a member of ubf. And as big bear points out, if your shepherd leaves, then the chapter director becomes your shepherd by default.

The only exception to this is the one on the top of the pyramid, the GD, who has no human shepherd. Everyone else technically has a shepherd.

However, something new has happened in recent years. Some people are starting to “go rogue”. That is a good thing.

“Bad” shepherds often think of:
* how horrible/”sinful”/”useless” you may have been when you first came to UBF,
* how much you changed and improved through them serving you, and
* how you should always submit to their authority because you must be indebted and thankful to them, now just now but forever.

I am thankful to UBF for many many things. But when they throw this indebtedness to UBF in my face, they are simply taking credit for what God has done. They are not the prime movers; the Holy Spirit is.

“My shepherd left UBF many years ago but the chapter director will than say he is your shepherd.”

> Ditto for me. Raise your hands if your shepherd left ubf… that is so common because a pyramid scheme, even a Jesus one, cannot be sustained.

“For almost 4 years, my family suffered by paying two house payments because the property we left to pioneer new ministry did not sell. You are required to be independent and if you complain you must repent for God will take care of you. Any problem you just keep your mouth shut and just keep teaching the Bible and raise disciples.”

> Almost ditto. You are correct, my mind was trained in ubf to just suck it up, grin and bear it and shape up or ship out.

“After leaving UBF, it is important you seek out a healthy church where family is important and raising disciples starts with your own household.”

> Yes, but I highly suggest finding and testing out other churches prior to leaving. I did not submit my director resignation until my family was safe in a new church. Then I could be vocal and forceful with ubf without so much concern for my family. I also attended some church services at another church with our friends when we visited Toledo after leaving. It was odd to see an entire “ubf dropout section” at the church. So many people from Toledo ubf were going there that one of the pastors noticed and actually felt the need to communicate to Toledo ubf that he was not trying to steal members away.

“If you like you can hear my testimony on the internet….”

> I would love to… but are you referring to after ubf or during?

This is due to the fact that UBF employs personal shepherding. It is essentially the same question as ‘Who is your covering?’ (see also here).

Some commenters wrote that shepherding is Biblical. I think this is a problematic statement, because shepherding is usually understood to mean personal shepherding practiced in the shepherding/discipling movement which is definitely not Biblical, as explained in the articles we linked to (please read these articles carefully!). The things that shepherds (elders) do in a normal church is usually not called “shepherding” or “discipling”.

Maybe I am too sensitive, but to be honest I sometimes wonder what the root and measure for such a question really is and where it comes from. It’s true that it could be innocent, however, with all of the other ills we have discussed I am throwing it out there.

May you be judged according to how effective your shepherd is? How loyal? How obedient? We are supposed to resemble our teachers in the shepherding movement. Why not wear couple’s shirts or pants?

I also want to remark on big bear’s comment. When Jesus served many people during his public ministry he sacrificed his time and more…..he sacrificed his life and yet he still said on the cross ‘father forgive them.’ When he had difficulty on the cross he asked why God had forsaken him. His moment was an absense of God.

Some students may feel indebted because of serving from shepherds. This may include snacks during Bible study, gifts for birthday etc…, lunch and dinner in or outside of church. These are but basic examples, more severe could come as a result of marriage and/or a specific title that bestows leadership on the sheep. In any case, the shepherd is not doing this gracefully as Jesus died for us, but rather so that they may enslave and own us. The sheep often suffer feelings of guilt because their shepherd did so much for them.

I have a tough one on this. Why? Because some may argue if you have a conflict with your shepherd it has to be reconciled so that you may be right with God. I agree only on condition that I have hard feelings of unforgiveness in my heart. However, if I can see that some leaders serve for their own benefit it becomes a problem. Thankfully, most shepherds serve for the hope to raise disciples. Not many have ungodly motives while serving, but I for one received an email that claimed ownership over me because such a person prayed for my wedding to establish my family. I am thankful for that – yes! But as stated in my very first comment, I evaded the topic of marriage for more than half a year because I was suspicious about what was going on. Only when the Holy Spirit moved my heart did I pray and later consent to marry.

spiritual “coaching” is ok but “absolute” deference is reserved for God

systemic improvements require analysis of faulty motives (power/$/…) & determination to take the “road less travelled”; anyway individuals can be freed by Christ to limit deference to people & reasonably limit funds given so as to break the bondage of excessive influence

there really needs to be discussion of financial factors: belonging to “ecfa” looks good, but practice is what matters; I’m not concerned about communal $ used for communal purposes or reasonable projects, but are funds sometimes used for special favor for special people? for example are funds given to a school or university & then specific enrollment enhanced? (students who got in by their own hard work may then seem “out of place” but certainly feel more accomplishment)

Note that shepherding as understood by the shepherding/discipling movement is very different from shepherding as understood in the Bible, where it is actually the same as eldership. The book “Biblical eldership” by Alexander Strauch could also be called “Biblical shepherding”. The group of elders is understood as a group who act – together – as shepherds for the whole flock. There is no single-person leadership by “directors” and there are no authoritarian 1:1 shepherding relationships in real, Biblical shepherding. To emphasize this difference, the unbiblical hierarchical, authoritarian form of shepherding has also been called “personal shepherding”. See also the article “The Fallacy of “Personal Pastors” by Steven Lambert.

Note that nearly all of these groups, including the ICOC, eventually found that they ran into serious problems of spiritual abuse, apologized and renounced their teachings. The only exception I know is UBF who did not renounce their teachings, but reaffirmed them as their “spiritual heritage” in their 50th anniversary book. I believe the main reason why UBF was so far unable to do this is Korean Confucianism where “losing face” is considered worse than “losing faith” and truth and truthfulness is considered less important than loyalty, plus an amount of pride I have rarely seen in any other church or organization.

When I was contemplating my future involvement in UBF, I was told something like this: “Your relationship to your church is like a marriage. You made a commitment to serve God in this church, and it is where you met Jesus. You don’t leave your spouse if she has problems, so you shouldn’t leave your church because it has problems. Just like your relationship with your spouse is a lifetime commitment, you should keep a lifetime commitment to your church.”

I responded, “I don’t see any evidence for that position in Scripture,” and immediately said good-bye. Such a statement was a crystal-clear confirmation that I should remove myself and my family from such a controlling and constraining environment.

Others’ experiences may vary, but it was clear to me that such “lifetime commitments” are unbiblical, unrealistic, and unhealthy. Instead of producing good fruit of maturity in the Lord, it bore bad fruit of fear, self-condemnation or self-righteousness (depending on the esteem of leaders), inability to discern God’s leading but reliance on directions from others, and a squelched personal identity and unique expression of personal gifts.