No, in the stomach. I considered his punch a love tap. After we both calm down, we were both fine. This is one of our many struggles. We had some “intense” Bible studies. As I mentioned because we were both immature and still trying to figure out the gospel.
Today, we are actually best friends! Because of him, my faith has grown! In a sense, I was thankful this incident happened because it opened my eyes to see as Dr. Ben mentioned is “never ever entirely just an act of the human will.” True obedience comes from the work of the Holy Spirit and remembering what Christ has done for you. In addition, this conflict revealed some demons I didn’t know existed. My attitude in serving my friend was like the oldest son in Luke 15:29 who said “Look, these many years I have served you…” I expected him to “just obey” and listen to my demands absolutely. It also revealed my crooked view of discipleship. I was serving not as an expression of Christ love for me. Rather, for my exultation and admiration from other leaders. If he was doing well, I felt good. If he was disobedient, I felt miserable. What a terrible way to live!
After much prayer and personal struggle, I realized my attitude should be like the prodigal father who loved his sons both equally and practiced gentle and patient persuasion. By God’s grace and mercy, He has helped me apply this principle in my ministry and how I raise my children.
In hindsight, conflicts are “good”. They open up all kinds of issues. The most important thing where do you find conflict resolution? It will either lead you to the cross or self-justification. One way leads to life, forgiveness and unity. The other leads to more conflicts and death. We all have to make a choice.

I have been guilty of much of the points Dr. Ben noted. I thought I was being “spiritual” for practicing some of them!! Once I was punched by my Bible student for practicing #16. Instead of practicing gentle persuasion, I pushed him to obey my direction and not live by his feelings. Instead, he made me feel his fist! I agree with John Y that the root problem is emotional and spiritual immaturity.

I think we can never get it “right” because our hearts are so deceitful. We are naturally divisive. We can only cry out for God’s mercy like the tax collector in Luke 18:9-14. We truly need Jesus’ righteousness to abide in our souls. In addition, we should be humble to be accountable to others. It is very painful when others point out your blind spots. Especially when it comes from your wife or kids. I’m always tempted to “pull rank or defend my patriarchal position”. I thank God for each of them. Without their input, love and prayers, I would be a total jerk.

I am sure it aids Christian conversion in many ways but I never thought about how they conflict. Seems like it is important for Asian UBF members to sit down and tease apart what is uniquely confuciest and what is uniquely Christian and be open to the idea that they have been interjecting eastern values into a system that is beyond eastern vs. western values.

I can imagine this causes a lot of conflict with westerners. They might misinterpret this confusionist influence (I am older, so obey!) with a self righteous attitude which it may not be. In fact, people with such an attitude may view it as a form of humility because they submit to a social norm but westerners may view it as a lack of humility. This is just my speculation.  

Interesting stuff.  

I don’t know what Ben has in mind for Part III, but I can think of many small ways that members of a church can hold one another (even leaders) to high standards of maturity and integrity in interpersonal relationships. For example:

If you hear someone gossiping or slandering or caricaturing someone, tell them to stop. That takes courage and it’s risky, but sometimes you have to just do it, even if the gossiper is your elder.

If someone tries to give you a message from someone else, politely refuse the message and say, “Please tell him to speak to me directly.”