But it also makes me wonder in general about the problems of conflicting perceptions of problems – of how: 1) we see our own Wall (and what we think we need to resolve it), versus how: 2) others see our Wall and define our problems – both of whom may equally invoke the authority of the Bible and prayer and God, and both of whom may have clear and confident consciences. I think of a number of people who struggled with their Wall in ways that were not satisfactory to another group of people, even when they ended up fully at peace with where they ended up – though still to the condemnation of the other group.

From this kind of view of things, both sides seem right in some ways and wrong in others. Sometimes, all of this seems to me like a purely human, fallible activity – just something we have always done and always will do. Maybe the Walls that work out for the best are those solutions that just happen to match both sides, and the healthiest and happiest people are those who can bring this about – whatever Struggle or Community they may be defining themselves against.

I like most the idea that we should each keep struggling/praying with ourselves not to betray our own consciences and integrity, while still being caring, communicative, and adaptive – leaving breathing room and humility for the possibility that both us were wrong. Then the person in front of us can matter more than the project, and THEN any real mutual influence can continue to occur. As we continue to develop and debate our ideas of the best way forward, we need to simultaneously build and or deepen (and find refuge in!) our network of those we care about and have both commitment and influence in. If one has that much… this, to me, is a blessed life.

The point I am trying to make is that as an observer and even friend of others it is hard to tell if the Spirit is moving someone to push through the wall or if they have already given up the fight. I have seen it go both ways. What I have learned as a wall participant and a wall observer is that the best thing I can do for others who are struggling deeply with faith is to PRAY for them from my heart. Not a rebuking prayer, but a real one of deep compassion. This has gotten easier to do since I had become “spiritually difficult” and felt judged by others. God humbled me. Also grace, love, the encouragement to study the bible deeply and to pour out their heart to God in testimonies or some other way of communicating to Him. This requires us to accept people just as they are without expectations so they have a healthy environment to struggle and heal in. When a person really wants to get through the wall, I believe these are the things that will help them. At least these are the things that P. Ron and others did for me. And besides, it is only a matter of time before it is my turn with the wall again and then I will be the one who needs lots of grace☺.

I hope that makes sense and is relevant to your essay. Please let me know if I misunderstood anything.

Is it safe to say that each time we hit a “spiritual wall” and get through it, we are one step closer to spiritual maturity?

“If you are going through The Wall, it may appear to people around you that you have become spiritually weak or unfaithful. You may be misunderstood or criticized by well-meaning Christians (think of Job’s friends). People may whisper about you and say that you are “becoming difficult.” But in this stage of apparent weakness, you are actually getting stronger. God is working to bring you to a better understanding of who you are, so that you can understand him better and experience a more authentic personal relationship with him.”

How moving this is, Dr. Joe! You remind me that doubt can be an important pathway – an opportunity – to a deeper, renewed understanding of our first faith – instead of a reason to become more pained and disconnected from others.

Sometimes I wonder if we too quickly expect certain milestones of faith to be reached in our (and other people’s) lives – on a more or less identical timescale – at the cost of depth and, later, empathy for the Other’s perspective (those not of our fold). Without the doubt that comes from sincerely empathizing with how our fellow human beings live their lives – who live with their own spectrum of irresponsibility to goodness and integrity – I wonder if we too readily dismiss everything about the Other to be less responsible in lifestyle, less intelligent, less aware of the pains and joys in life, than we of faith.

Anyways, thanks for your sincere and encouraging posts. I’m ever a faithful reader.

Richard Choi